"AH, YOU STUPID KETTLE! HOW DARE YOU HARBOUR ALL OF MY MOONY'S AFFECTIONS WHILE I, SIRIUS BLACK, GET THE MINIMUM! I HATE YOU KETTLE!"
It was a typical day in the apartment of Sirius Black and Remus Lupin. Remus was coming back from food shopping at a local market while Sirius was yelling at random kitchen utensils that Remus had been using far more frequently than usual – in his eyes, at least. The kettle itself, scared of the shrieking adult in front of him, quivered under his piercing gaze, wishing that Remus Lupin, the gentler of the two, had not had an extra coffee this morning.
When Remus opened the door, a smile laced onto his features, before it becoming unstitched and falling to the floor. He was met with the sight of his boyfriend beating the now lifeless kettle with an equally lifeless rolling pin, screaming absurdities at it.
That was the fifth kettle that month and it was only the thirteenth.
"Sirius, stop!" cried the fretting werewolf, dropping his bags and rushing forward, clutching Sirius offending arm in his hand. Sheepishly, the man looked up at Remus, fluttering his eyelashes innocently.
"It was getting more attention from you than me!"
And that's how they ended up flying through the air on Sirius motorbike, together, for six hours.
I hate our new kettle, which was the inspiration for this fic. Yes, I was yelling at our kettle, although I didn't go as far as to smash it with a rolling pin. I want to though. It seems to think my mother loves it more than me; she doesn't.
IF YOU'RE READING THIS, KETTLE, MUM LOVES ME MORE! GOT IT?!
No kettles or rolling pins were physically harmed in the making of this fic. Emotionally, I'm sure my own kettle was. Hopefully.
Disclaimer: I do not own Sirius Black or Remus Lupin or anything that wasn't the kettle or the rolling pin. The apartment is property of Sirius Black and he belongs to the amazing J.K Rowling, who's super and I don't want to be sued, as I only own the kettle and rolling pin so please don't sue me! Thanks!
Twila :)
PS: I hate my new kettle. Really.