Ignorance
4 times Harry ignored his feeling and one time he never.
A/N: So sorry I have been MIA I've been doing my a-levels, still am but I was inspired to write this, I will get back into writing soon and promise I will finish writing my ongoing story, it will just take me some time so for now please enjoy this. Please review, yours forever Serpents Den.
1.
Harry gazed around the great hall, not looking for anything in particular; a streak of platinum blonde of hair caught his eye. He averted his gaze promptly, he was filled with the desire to run over and apologise and beg for forgiveness but he couldn't do that, he still couldn't give his love what he wanted so there was no point in making amends when the problem would still be there. Draco wanted Harry to come out but Harry was not ready. It wasn't that Draco came from a family of Death eaters; he was not ashamed of Draco. He just didn't want to lose his friends and the family he had here in the wizarding world. Sure the wizarding world had magic but there ways were still very much in the 20th century, muggles, for the most part, have accepted homosexuality. Wizards however believed it to be a sin of great damnation and Harry was scared, he didn't want to lose all he had, he didn't want to be alone what if Draco realised he was a freak and stopped loving him. Harry would have given up all he loved for nothing. He loved Draco, he did but he wasn't ready to give up everything for him.
2.
He felt himself being dragged into an alcove; he was not able to use his eyes so he relied on his sense of smell to tell him he was safe. His nostrils where filled with the aroma of parchment and broom polish, Draco, instantly he knew he was alright, but he was still weary of what was happening. Draco pulled the saviour towards himself, forced his lips onto Harry's and allowed his hands to roam around his former lovers' body. Harry responded in kind before pulling away remembering where he was. "No Draco! We can't, you know I can't do this, be this!" Harry felt cold as Draco's arms left his waist. "Why not Harry? I love you please don't do this!" Draco pleaded. "I am sorry Draco but I can't think about myself I have to be who they want me to be." Harry sighed mournfully Draco peered into Harry's deep emerald eyes searching for a weakness in his resolve, he felt his heart break slightly when he found none, he heard his mother voice, if you love something let it go; if it is meant to be it will come back to you. "Ok harry you win I'll leave you alone." Draco turned and walked away. Harry ignored the feeling of his own heart breaking.
3.
Harry watched sat at the Gryffindor table gazing straight ahead but not really focusing on anything. "Harry, Hello Harry you with us?" Harry was pulled out of his deep thoughts by Ron's hand in front of his face, "Sorry Ron what is it?" "Oh nothing just wondering if you were okay you've been pretty spacey lately." Harry looked at Ron for a while, "Mione told you to talk to me didn't she?" Ron nodded sheepishly and opened his mouth to speak when the doors to the great hall swung open. Turning his head to face the door Ronald's face contorted into a snarl as he saw the Slytherin ice prince making his entrance. "Hey Harry, Malfoy has left us alone recently don't you think" Harry Grimaced slightly, disregarding the feeling in his gut at the mention of the other boys name, "Has he?" "Yeah, but that's probably because he is too busy training to be a spineless death eater who worships that no nosed freak like his daddy" Ron laughed ruthlessly. Harry resisted the urge to defend Draco but he knew he had to tread carefully one wrong word and Ron would suspect something, "Yeah" he chuckled softly, but even Ron could hear the lack of malice in his tone. Choosing not to mention it Ron looked back at Malfoy, "Does he look like he's lost weight to you, looks paler too" Harry would later deny that he felt a pang of guilt at Ron's words, "He's always been pale Ron. Anyway what's with the sudden interest in Malfoy's health?" Ron shrugged and continued eating his lunch in silence.
4.
Harry ignored the pain he felt when Draco walked into the Great Hall with Blaise Zabini, their arms wrapped around each other. He was indifferent, to their holding each other's hand below the table. He didn't have a burning desire to pummel Blaise within an inch of his life. He did not care that Draco had replaced him, not in the slightest. So when Harry pulled Draco into a deserted classroom is wasn't out of jealousy. He was merely making sure Draco was happy. So when said, "Are you seriously fucking Zabini now" if it came out as sounding jealous then that was a complete coincidence. And Harry did not get frustrated when Draco simply smirked at him, "God damn it Draco answer me!" Draco shook his head in disbelief, "Are you actually being serious right now Potter! You are actually asking me about this. You lost any right to ask me to answer that question when you decided you didn't love me enough to stand by me!" "I just don't want him to hurt you." muttered Harry softly "What like you did you mean?" Draco questioned cruelly, before storming out of the classroom, leaving a dejected Harry to wallow in his heart break.
And one time he never.
Hermione was seriously worried about Harry; he hadn't been the same recently. She couldn't remember the last time she heard him laugh, the last time she'd saw him smile; now she thought about it she could not remember the last time he had shown any form of emotion. He was a blank canvas swimming in a bottomless pit of nothingness. Hermione wondered into the potions section of the library and was surprised to see her best friend there curled up in a ball sobbing, not so quietly. "Harry?" the boy in question looked up unshed tears shining brightly in his eyes, "How did you find me?" he spoke so quietly Hermione had to strain her ears to hear him. "I didn't Harry, I'm researching the magical properties of Daffodils." Hermione informed him. "Harry what's wrong? Please tell me." "I fucked up Mione. I was too scared to be myself and now I've lost him because of it." Harry cried. "I'm sure you didn't mean to hurt Draco Harry." The raven haired boy gazed up at Hermione in shock, "But how?" Hermione looked at him, "Well I am the smart witch of our age." Harry smiled weakly, "I thought I wasn't ready to come out but being without Draco these past couple of weeks has been far worse than anything else." "You should tell him that Harry" Hermione spoke with a mothering tone. Harry looked at Hermione and smiled brightly for the first time in ages, "Thank you Hermione, you really are a great friend" Harry pulled the bushy haired girl into a hug before rushing off to find his love. The doors to the great hall swung open revealing a raven haired emerald eyed boy panting, his eyes frantically scanning the room. He saw his best friend Ron with a confused look on his face, his headmaster his icy blue eyes twinkling and his potions professor scowling. Finally he saw him, the blonde haired grey eyed wonderful boy he was in love with, sitting on the Slytherin table, which in hind sight is where Harry should have looked first. He leapt across the great hall to Draco, "I am sorry Drake, I'm an idiot, being without you is so much worse than losing everything else. It took losing you for me to see that and I am so sorry." Harry stood on the Slytherin table and addressed the hall of stunned students and teachers, "My name is Harry Potter, I am 16 years old, I'm gay and in love with Draco Malfoy." Harry stretched out and took Draco's hand in his own in order to pull him up on to the table. He placed his lips near Draco's ear and whispered, "You let me go and now I have come back to you." Before pulling his boyfriend in for a long deep kiss, letting all he was feeling flow free.