Auhtors: Madi (songstobesung) and Brenna (Mrs. Cedric Cullen)
Title: Shades of Swirling Hope
Summary: If I am courage, then you are hope. "I know this world can have a place for us..." -Best Kept Secret from Bare
"You did this wrong again Kurt." Blaine throws down Kurt's English paper, showing him the mistakes which were highlighted in green, Blaine's favorite color. Kurt simply stuck his tongue out, his blue, green, gray eyes stormy and unbalanced. Blaine looked at him, because it wasn't a cute, flirty little kid tongue out thing, but more of an 'I'm pissy, leave me alone because I say I don't wanna talk about it but I secretly do' kinda sticking tongue out. Blaine felt himself getting slightly irritated, and he really didn't mean to say it, but he did. When the words left his mouth, a bile taste was inserted, as if to punish Blaine for what he had done.
"Kurt, seriously, are you PMSing?" A dark look crossed Kurt's normally impish features. The thought of being told he was on a cycle that his body couldn't do pissed Kurt more than it normally would.
"Blaine Anderson, just because I am gay does not make me any less of a man! I thought you learned that after last night!" And by that, he didn't mean sexy, wanky fun as Santana Lopez dubbed it. It meant that Kurt ate a whole bag of Cheetos, one liter of Pepsi, and beaten all the guys in the Sophomore/Junior wing at Halo 2. Blaine could feel the anger surging through him, and he cursed inwardly at himself.
"Well, you seem more pissy than usual." Kurt's eyes widened at this statement. Did his boyfriend really just say that? He better not have. "Maybe I'm just a little fucking stressed, okay!" Kurt smacked the bed, feeling angry and bitter at Blaine, because there was no one else to feel angry and bitter too but him. He just needed a good fight, and then he'd be okay.
Blaine's tone of voice became soft, and comforting, like the waves crashing on a shore. "About what baby?" Kurt fell back onto the bed, sighing, "Don't worry about it, Blaine. It's not you, I promise." Blaine flopped onto his own bed, following Kurt's way of lying down, facing him. "Baby, tell me." Kurt ran a hand through his hair, well almost, but since It was nicely styled, he forced himself not to.
"I don't even know." Blaine detected a lie.
"Is it..Karofsky?" That word left an eerie silence, as if saying his name would make him appear. Karofsky, was like Voldemort in a sense. He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named.
Kurt bit his lip, "N-no, nothing about him," A nervous laugh escaped his lips, his sweet blue eyes turning dark and stormy with every breath, every syllable, "Why would it? Ya know, be about him?"
Blaine got up, and standing there, he felt himself nearly trembling. Kurt saw a scared look run through his face, that charismatic face of his. When Blaine spoke, his voice wavered, "Kurt, you are never like this. Tell me. Now." His boyfriend made a motion that Kurt had never seen. It was a step, with that step came a force that had never once been there. It was as if Blaine was starting to appear in front of him.
"Blaine? You're kinda starting to scare me…." Kurt got up from his bed, distancing himself. When the wall came in contact, Kurt leaned against it, staring at his trembling boyfriend.
Blaine's anger got a hold of him. He felt his voice rising, his chest shaking with fear. His breath was hard, and fierce. "Kurt, I want to listen. I want to be about to help. Please…" Blaine felt his blood rising, pulsing like a wild drum beat. He shook his head, trying to get a grip again. They pissed him off, Kurt didn't. He didn't want his voice to rise at Kurt, angrily. When he stopped, he turned to his boyfriend, watching his eyes panicking. "Sorry about that Kurt."
Kurt walked away from the wall, in awe of this new side of his boyfriend. Blaine was angry, still, just like him. It was amazing to see him not be cool, and collected. But, with this new territory, Kurt didn't want to push Blaine too far. "Blaine, it's…okay. It's okay."
Blaine trembled, sitting down. He put his head in his lap, trying to not see red that was clouding his vision. He wasn't mad at Kurt Hummel. "No, it's not okay." Kurt responded with a sigh. Blaine couldn't get the words out, like his tongue was tripping over them. "I didn't mean to. I'm sorry Kurt, I'm so sorry." Kurt laid his head against the textured wall, letting these entire emotions surge through his head. A vibrant shade of red rested clearly in his mind, though, more so than the peaceful purple that was attempting to block it out.
Blaine looked over, watching these emotions flood through Kurt, his whole body slightly shaking at the coming of each new one. He took a single look at Kurt, before looking down. His hands were holding one another, and he twiddled with his thumbs, nervously.
"If you tell me your story," There was the implied 'as much as I already don't know', "I'll tell you mine." The words shook Blaine to his core, and there was a warmth in his chest, one that he hadn't felt before. It was an opening to tell Kurt something he hadn't dared tell anyone in, well, since he had openly come out to Dalton. He closed his eyes, his hands trembling ever so slightly. Even without looking at Kurt, he could tell what his boyfriends look was by the sound of his hesitant voice.
"You won't understand," Kurt whispered, almost inaudibly, "I don't understand."
The near hurt in his voice brought tears to Blaine, and an old emotion he hadn't felt in a long time overcame his senses, but Blaine didn't dare think the feeling. Names hurt more than actions, sometimes. Naming something gives a power, a power so unbreakable. Blaine responded, trying to keep his voice even, and controlled no matter how knotted his insides were, "I understand more than you think."
The authority in his voice made Kurt jump- Blaine felt him flinch ever so slightly. It came out all wrong. Instead of it being understanding and compassionate, it came out mean, and harsh. Blaine got up, trying to distance himself from the counter-tenor, before he could lash out as he did before. A gentleman never lashed out, not even in the hardest of situations.
"Not this time." Kurt whispered, letting a tear fall down his cheek. The way his voice quivered with fright, like something was eating him whole. Blaine finally spoke, not thinking about the words he said. When a name popped out, one he hadn't meant to say, Blaine felt his knees go weak, and he had to almost steady himself.
"His name was Drew." The sound of his name echoing through the silent room made Blaine nearly gasp. He felt his whole world being tossed around. Names are very powerful, he knew it all too well, names can bring back ghosts, bring back memories that never seem to go away.
Kurt breathed, "W-what?" Blaine knew he didn't understand, just as Kurt suspected that Blaine hadn't understood the pain that was swallowing him, the secrets that were burdened on his shoulder.
"He told them." Blaine gasped, his knees buckling. His lungs weren't working, and Blaine forced himself to breathe. It hadn't happen in two years, but a feeling had swept over him, letting everything he had held in for so long, be shown all over that charismatic face of his. Blaine closed his eyes, hearing the footsteps of his love. Arms were put around him, and Blaine did nothing to stop the feeling of warmth spread through him. He found himself on a bed, and when he opened his eyes, he saw Kurt's eyes, now a translucent blue, brimming with tears. Blaine felt like he had caused the pain, and as if he was hurting Kurt. When Kurt spoke, it was trembling, holding back tears that Blaine didn't want to be there in the first place. If he hadn't spoken up, if he hadn't wanted to say anything, Kurt wouldn't be in pain. He wouldn't feel this way.
"Who told?" Confusion swam through the sweet voice. Blaine pushed away Kurt, before tightening his hands into fists. He felt adrenaline rush through his body, as if sensing danger. But, the tears in Blaine's eyes made it look as if he was panicking. As much as Blaine despised to admit it, he was panicking.
"He…he…" Blaine sniffled, trying to hold back the tears that were about to flow freely down his face, which was contorted into something that had no words, not a single one. Even on his gorgeous features, the look itself was ugly, "He told my parents." Blaine looked up, blinking back tears. Kurt was crying now, silently, but he managed to speak.
"About you being g-gay?" Blaine knew Kurt couldn't believe it. He knew that Kurt never had this problem. Blaine was not defined by his sexuality. Blaine was defined by his cowardliness about it. Sure, he embraced his sexuality, when need be. But, he also was a guy. Kurt was a guy, Blaine knew that, but it just wasn't the same, no matter how stereotypical that sounded.
"I haven't told them," Blaine explained, his words rushing together. They came out jagged, like I hurt his throat to speak them, "I've been here for two years, and they think I'm straight! The look in their eyes wasn't concern or fear…" The look was disappointment. Blaine saw their hazel eyes flash before him, and he shook, violently. Smooth arms wrapped around them, and Blaine breathed in the soft scent that was Kurt Hummel. It calmed him down, and his hands were trembling by that moment.
"Blaine, I…" His voice trailed off, as sobs shook the lean brunette, "I don't…" Blaine wrapped his arms around the shaking boy, whose skin was now blotchy and red. It didn't matter though, Blaine thought, as he was still beautiful. "Shh…it's okay. Shh…" Blaine felt more comfortable, comforting someone else, other than his own soul that needed a shoulder to cry on. Kurt kept on crying, and Blaine looked at him. The sobs were nearing hysterical at this point.
"Kurt, what's wrong?" Kurt continued on crying, but it was going down a softer route now. Blaine kissed his forehead, and Kurt shot out of his arms. Incredibly confused, Blaine looked over at the counter-tenor, and saw the panicked look on his face. Blaine finally got it, as Kurt's voice shook, "Blaine…I…"
Kurt took off the Armani scarf, showing a small hickey resting on the side of his neck. Blaine looked over, and saw Kurt's frightened face. Anger pulsed through Blaine's veins, as he asked whose it was.
"His?"
Kurt only nodded at this statement.
"Yesterday," Kurt took a shaky breath before continuing, "When I went to Lima to visit ND. I-I never made it to Mercedes's place." Kurt's breath hitched, and Blaine was already there, rubbing his arms. His comforting tone of voice didn't reassure Kurt at all.
All Kurt heard was the part about Blaine going to kill him. Yes, Blaine was overprotective, but he could be very sneaky. Blaine had unleashed a new side of himself, an angry one, and Kurt didn't want Blaine to go and kill someone, no matter how much he deserved to die. Or, be seriously maimed.
"DON'T!" Kurt's voice was shrill when he screamed this. Blaine winced, as did Kurt at the sound. Softer, Kurt amended, "It was nothing."
"No, it wasn't nothing Kurt!" Blaine said, loudly. His fist connected to the bed, and Kurt begged him to stop. This scared both him and Blaine tremendously. Kurt loved this new side, but also longed for the easy side too. Blaine's eyes had a blank look, for half a second, before turning back into his normal gaze, one that made Kurt's heart flutter.
"You need to tell your Dad." There was a hidden message under Blaine's words, which Kurt didn't quite understand just yet. Closing his eyes, stressed washed over him.
"He'll never be able to handle it!" Kurt exclaimed, exasperated. Blaine made a face, and Kurt added, softly, "I don't know how too."
"I don't know either. Say it loud. Loud, and make sure everyone hears it!" Courage rang through those words, and Kurt giggled, wiping away the tears. They embraced one another, breathing in softly. Kurt grinned, and Blaine had a lazy half smile on his face. Quietly, Kurt looked at Blaine, "Don't ever leave me."
"I won't. And you changed the subject."Blaine noted, his voice becoming normal again. He was grinning, and Kurt laughed at the adorable smirk on his strong face.
"Don't I always?" Kurt laughed, "I have a reputation to uphold." Blaine kissed Kurt on the cheeks, before taking Kurt's hand into his. They moth noticed how clammy Blaine's palms were, and Blaine laughed, just a little trill, before clearing his throat.
"Now, this is going to be a little serious. But, after the last hour, I highly doubt we need that."
"Just tell me know, and then I'll hate you later." Kurt grinned, impishly.
"How'd you come out to your Dad?" The question took Kurt by surprise. With a hint of wonder in his eyes, Kurt looked at his boyfriend, who had helped him so much. The roles had quickly become reversed, but Kurt took on the load, knowing Blaine would take some off his shoulders, whenever he asked. It was weird, giving advice on how to come out. However, it was amazing sharing an experience with someone who needed the information to help Blaine to cross a bridge he hadn't dared to cross till now.
"Dad always just... knew, apparently. But after my first football game, I just... told him." Blaine's eyes widened, but Kurt suspected it wouldn't be as effortless for the dapper boy as it was for him.
"It seems, easy."
"Everyone sort of knew, just like my dad though." Kurt grinned, resting his head on the boy who desperately wanted to come out. Kurt didn't know Blaine was gay till, well, he said it. Kurt was thrilled when he was seeing as how mutual the feelings between them were. Blaine's chest rumbled as he spoke.
"You live by the rule: If you got it, flaunt it." Kurt giggled at the statement, seeing as how accurate it is. Nodding, Kurt looked up at Blaine, who looked a little more serious.
"Now, do I flaunt or hide?"
"Easy," Kurt felt some sadness hinting in the words, "You hide." A heartbreaking sort of smile crept on his face, but Blaine didn't notice. His gaze overlooked Kurt, and something flashed in his eyes.
"Will you be there when I tell my parents?" Kurt nodded, a true smile forming on his pale pink lips.
"Of course I will." Blaine looked at him, and Kurt could see how nervous it made him.
"I don't need Kurt, my boyfriend. But I need Kurt, my best friend in the whole wide world, in two days. Okay?" Kurt nodded, saluting Blaine.
"Kurt, the best "best friend" in the world, will be there. Kurt, "the boyfriend", won't, I promise." Blaine kissed him on the cheek at this response. Kurt cupped Blaine face in his pale hands. Blaine put a hand over Kurt's, letting something new float over them.
"We'll get through this together." Kurt stated.
"I know we will." Blaine said. They didn't move and inch, but looked into each other's eyes, a sort of promise being formed, without any words being spoken.
Hello lovely readers! Madi, and my lovely friend Brenna here, to give you a new fic! This took up 15+ hours to just do dialouge, and now we are currently filling in the words between said dialouge. This is both our times writing a very, very dark Klaine. Brenna and I both agreed Blaine was a little reserved, and we came to the conclusion Blaine hadn't come out to his parents. Hence, the lovely story that is 'Shades of Swirling Hope'.
I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as Brenna and I enjoy writing it! The next chapter will feature a cute little Klaine loving. And then, dramam will strike, because it will. This is also an established ND/Blaine meeting story, as well as A Blaine/Burt/Finn/Kurt/Carole estamblished knowing.
For the sake of this story, Blaine's a senior (17) and Kurt's a junior (16 and 3/4). So, Blaine's known since he was 10.
Thanks for reading and please leave a review:) We enjoy them immensly and will give cookies and miniature snowmen to those who do leave reviews! Because there is snow to give to those who review!
Thanks for reading!
-Madi and Brenna
Note: There could be possible warnings in later chapters. Just to warn you. If you have any concerns, leave it in a review, or PM Brenna or me. We want the story to be enjoyable to all readers.