Chapter 1

As Kat drove down the street she grew up in, everything was the same. She couldn't help thinking it was the same people doing the same things as before. The last time she had been driving her car down this road had been a year ago. She had waved good-bye to her father as he shouted something about "those college kids" and "condoms". Her sister had stood next to her first boyfriend their father would allow and she had her new man Patrick at her side.

They had been talking about their future. She was going to Sara Lawrence College and Patrick had decided to stay where he was. Kat rolled her eyes as she remembered the argument they had in the car.

" I'll be back soon!" Kat had exclaimed.

"Yeah right…here I'll be, stuck in this hell whole of a town while you're away living it up in the other side of America."

She sighed. "You know that's not true. I'm going there to study, not to get pissed."

Patrick raised his eyebrow at her, remembering the part in their final year when Kat had done a tabletop dance for their fellow students!

"You know I'm not a big one for these pathetic parties at high school, never mind socializing with those rich, Joey like assholes whose Daddies bought their way to college, just for them to drink their nights away, and get laid!"

Patrick laughed, "You sound more and more like your father everyday!"

Their argument seemed to be over and they were approaching his house. As she pulled up outside they both looked at each other. They wondered how long it would be until they saw each other again.

"You better be back for Halloween,"

"I'll be back before then." She replied. He stroked her cheek lightly.

"What ever am I going to do without you to put me down? Phone me when you get to Sara Lawrence. I want to know what everything is like!" He opened the car door and pecked her on the cheek. Saying goodbye was something he was used to as his parents where constantly travelling; however this was different. He'd never felt this sad over anyone and didn't like it. Trying to remember who he was, he gave her a sly wink and walked to the door to his house. He didn't want her to notice his eyes were watering. How unmanly?

Kat watched as he sexily swaggered towards the door. Admiring his messy hair and the leather jeans she had become so fond of. Her stomach felt unsettled. Something didn't feel right. It wasn't a proper goodbye. As she drove down the street she consoled herself with the knowledge that she'd be back in a few months and would be phoning him all the time.

That was almost a year ago and now there she was again, however driving in a different direction. Things had started out well; they had been on the phone every night and sometimes even twice a day. However Kat gradually got more and more into her college life. Things were different there. The people were more interesting. There were loads of her favourite bands to go and see and if the truth were told she was having the time of her life. However there was always a thought at the back of her mind of what was going on at home. Patrick had stopped calling her so much. The phone calls went from weekly to monthly and it soon got weird to even talk on the phone.

She felt herself avoiding telling him everything that was going on. She didn't want to tell him that she had tried coke for her first time. She didn't want to tell him that she had a brilliant male friend called Steve. And ten months into her days there she didn't want to tell him that on one drink and drugs fuelled night her "friend" Steve and her had relations.

Steve was different from Patrick. Things were simpler with him. Sex was sex. And that was all. Nothing more, nothing deeper. To be truthful, it had been the thrill of the randomness of it all. One minute they were dancing at one of the dorm parties, and in the next flash all she could remember was being in someone's room. Where Patrick gently slid her clothes and looked in her eyes, Steve had tore at her clothes and enjoyed her assets. The whole experience felt wrong and wild. As they tore each other's clothes off there wasn't a thought to Steve's girlfriend Alicia or Patrick.