hobbit - kink . livejournal 3393 . html ? thread=5487169#t5487169
Coward
Bilbo's face is flushed with anger. "Seriously? That was cowardly! You should have stayed and helped me, instead of shoving me into a situation that could have killed me!"
"We brought help," Kili objects, but the damage is already done. He can see his brother's eyes darken. Calling Fili a coward is what hurts him most. Because it's true, isn't it?
Fili is a coward who has never dared to tell Kili that he loves him, while the younger one tells him all the time. However, the two words brother and prince make him doubt them, doubt himself all the time. They are not supposed to be with each other and one day, when Fili is King under the Mountain, their relationship will come to a sudden end. He does neither dare to stand up for their love, nor does he dare to lose himself in it.
There are quite a few more things he dreads and refuses to face as well, although none of them are as bad as what he is doing to Kili. He fears the darkness of a moonless night, and he is afraid of spiders, and the thought of being king one day troubles him deeply. He does not want this responsibility and if there is any way he can avoid it, he will, coward that he is.
Kili cannot suppress a low, dangerous growl. He knows about his brother's self-esteem issues when it comes to him running from the things that he fears. But that does not make him a coward. It only makes him a dwarf who does not want to deal with the dark sides of life, like anybody else. Fili cannot see that, though.
Kili sees the older one's fists clench and his lips are but a small, white line. "Never call him a coward ever again."
Bilbo shudders when he hears the young prince's icy voice. He should probably be running, considering the death glare coming from glowing dark eyes, but he is still way too worked up. He could have died! Obviously the dwarves don't care about that tiny little aspect though. "But it's true."
The next thing the hobbit can feel is a seering pain and something warm running down his lips. He cries out - partly out of shock and partly out of hurt - and when he opens his eyes he sees Dwalin's arms wrapped around a furious Kili who is fighting the iron grip fiercly.
Suddenly Oin is standing in front of Bilbo and the halfling cannot suppress a yelp when experienced, calloused fingers are palpating his features. "... yes, broken nose. That was a nice punch," the old healer grumbles. "Surely hurt his knuckles as well. However, I'm not going to tend them. C'mon, laddie, follow me. I'll take care of your injury."
Bilbo does as he is told, but before he sits down he looks back. Kili is breaking free from Dwalin and running towards his brother, pulling him away from the clearing until they can no longer be seen by the other dwarves. He sees the look on Fili's face and suddenly he is flooded with guilt. Probably he has really struck a nerve.
Kili hugs his the older one, so hard that Fili cannot breathe, but that's okay. "You are no coward," the black-haired prince says, his voice firm and angry. "Don't let anybody tell you otherwise!"
Fili smiles sourly. "I am."
"No. And you might not believe in yourself, but I do believe in you - enough for both of us."
The next smile is honest. "Let's go back. I'll have a look at your hand..."
Kili lets the older one lead them back to the camp and when Fili is cleaning the blood off his knuckles he hears his whisper, so quiet that it could have been the wind: "I love you."
No, Fili is no coward.