Why Millicent Is Not Allowed Off the Finalizer

FN-2187 was cleaning the corridor. He spent a lot of time cleaning corridors, and since General Hux had started spending more time on Starkiller Base rather than on the Finalizer, a lot of little orange hairs had been appearing all over the place, requiring the vacuum rather than the mop. It was dull work, especially seeing as the corridors still needed mopping after vacuuming, but FN-2199 had found that the vacuum could suck up the water after mopping and take the orange hair with it, so that was okay.

"Meow."

FN-2187 stopped mopping and looked up. There was a small orange animal pawing at the outside door. The 'trooper frowned, mentally running through a list of wildlife they might encounter planetside and which ones were dangerous. This looked like a Cat. Cats came in many varieties, and as a rule of thumb, if they came up to mid-thigh or higher they were to be considered a potential threat. But this one would only reach that height if it stretched up on its hind legs (which it was actually doing against the door), and was probably one of the breeds sometimes domesticated as pets.

And it was orange, and furry. Mystery of the hair-in-the-corridor problem solved. Kind of.

"Mm-raow." The Cat seemed to have heard FN-2187's footsteps, or maybe the sloshing of the mop and bucket, because it trotted over to him and rubbed against his leg. It let out another plaintive cry, and trotted back to the door.

FN-2187 stared. "You…want to go out?" he asked dubiously. The Cat pawed at the door and cried again.

The poor thing looked so miserable to not be able to get out that FN-2187 felt sorry for it. He sighed, and keyed open the door.

The Cat shot out into the snow. FN-2187 closed the door behind it quickly so as not to put undue pressure on the environmental control systems and looked through the observation window. The Cat had made a small dent in the snow and appeared to be squatting.

FN-2187 blushed under his helmet and left the Cat to its business. That might account for several other anomalies, such as strange yellow puddles and stinking piles of organic waste, that had been found around the place. He wondered how the Cat had got into the base. Maybe it lived in the sparse forests and had wandered inside somehow and got trapped. Maybe it had been brought in to deal with a rodent problem somewhere and it just liked exploring.

The corridor was once again clear of the scuffs and dirty footprints inevitable in a planetside base, and was now merely damp and hairy. FN-2187 changed equipment and started up the vacuum. It whined, but one of the FK 'troopers, who had an amateur interest in mechanics that was sufficiently useful to be tolerated, had once explained to mess hall of grumbling 'troopers that actually vacuum units had extensive soundproofing and they should just be thankful it was no more than a whine. FN-2187 was mainly concerned that it worked properly and cleaned up the mess.

There was slight thud as he passed the outside door again, and he looked over. The Cat was pressed against it, mouth open in an unheard cry.

FN-2187 stared for a moment, then keyed the door open again. "You only just went out," he said dumbly. The Cat merely twitched its tail and stalked away, leaving a trail of orange hairs and dirty, half-melted snow.

Which meant the freshly cleaned corridor was no longer clean.

"Sir."

Hux looked up as Phasma stopped in front of his desk. "Yes Captain?"

"Security flagged an anomaly. One of my 'troopers opened an outside door twice within a short period of time. I investigated, and I believe you should see the security footage." She presented the general with a datapad.

Hux took it and played the clip. He first flinched at the site of his precious pet leaving the warmth and safety of the base, then sighed as she quickly returned. "I don't believe any reprimand will be necessary for your 'trooper," he told Phasma, returning the datapad.

"Yes sir, but there is another concern. The 'trooper informed me that your Millicent apparently went outside to relieve herself, and mentioned that there have been cases of Sanitation apparently having to clean up after her. This never happened on the Finalizer, sir." Phasma fixed him with what was probably a reproachful stare under the helmet.

Hux groaned. "I can't just lock her in my quarters all day," he protested. "I don't understand why she doesn't use her litterbox down here."

"Maybe because she knows she can get out if she can charm someone?" Phasma suggested. "It might be better to confine her to the Finalizer. There're sufficiently frequent space weevil infestations to justify it. And admit it, you prefer being aboard ship to here on the base."

Hux considered it. There weren't rodent infestations down here because the ambient temperature was too erratic, depending on the activity deep in the planet's core. And Millicent had loved chasing them so much. "I'll take that under advisement, Captain," he said. "Dismissed."

The chrome-clad 'trooper nodded and left. Hux picked up his personal datapad, and started looking into just how much work he was really required to be on the surface for.

It would be nice to be on the Finalizer more.