Mello: *is walking back to room eating chocolate. DUH!!!*
Matt: *playing video game*
Mello: I wonder if Near is coming back to his room.
Matt: ...
Flashback
Mello: Did you bring the catapult?
Matt: *wheels in roommade catapult which is the size of a 50X50 cm box*
Matt: Finished it in workshop.
Mello: Great!
Me: Mello and Matt fill the spoon bit of the catapult with flour and tie it so the when Near opens the door, the flour AND 50-kg catapult falls on him.
Mello: !!!!
Matt: o_O
Me: Near, your surprise is set and ready to go!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!
Mello and Matt: WHAT THE F*****??? WHERE DID YOU COME FROM???
Presses "STOP" button
Mello: HEY! When were our lives ever controlled with a REMOTE??
Me: Since I started this non-humourous story, so follow the script or I can kill you with a meteor.
Mello: HMPH!!
Me: Ok... BACK TO THE STORY!!!
-~-
Me: Anyhow, Matt and Mello are hiding in the doorframe of their room, 'cos Near's room is next to theirs.
Mello: SHUDDUP!!
Me: Anger management. Sheesh!
Matt: *headlocks Mello in attempt to stop him from wringing my neck*
Matt: Come on Mels, he's paying us, remember?!
Mello: Oh right... -_-
Me: Shut it, Near's coming.
Me: Matt and Mello are watching Near very intensely.
Mello: Any moment now.
Matt: ...
Me: He's just in it for the money.
Matt: THAT IS NOT TRUE!!! *Mello is staring at him suspiciously* Uhh.. *hides dollar bills in pocket*
Me: Near's opening the door... (and I know Near is my second-favourite character, but I'm in it for the pleasure of stealing his toys.)
Near: *opens door* ??? *catapult and flour come down straight on his head*
Me: I swear I heard something snap.
Matt: *goes over and pokes Near* I think he's dead.
Mello: That's not Near, that's... wait, what the??
Me: HAHAHA!!! I CHANGED THE FLOUR!!!
Mello: GREAT!!! Into what?
Matt: THIS PWNS!
Me: Changing powder. (man, this answer is overused)
Mello: And the effect???
Me: Turns the victim into a dog. *victory dance*
Matt: Huh?
Me: The first three witnesses to the scene, in this case us, can tell what Near is saying. It sounds like barking (DUH!!) to everybody else.
Mello: What's it made of?
Me: Uhh... remember when all your stuff went missing??
Flashback no. 2
Mello: WHERE IS MY CHOCOLATE??
Near: Have any of you seen my toy robot?
Me: *laughing evilly in background*
Presses "STOP" button
Mello: So you stole my chocolate?
Near: And my toy robot?
Me: Wait, Near SAID something?? *everybody looks in Near's direction*
Matt: All I see is a Malteser... or whatever you call it.
Me: A Maltese dog, idiot.
Matt: *tries to strangle the somewhat-but-not-very-innocent me*
Mello: Oh noes.. o_O
Me: *wrestling Matt to the floor with a headlock* What?
Mello: Linda's coming down the hall.
Matt: I thought this was the boys' dorm!!!
Me: The girls get to go where they want, remember. Just another sign to show people think girls are more perfect than boys.
Linda: *runs over* OMG WHAT'S EVERYBODY LOOKING AT??
Me and Matt: Ohnoes.
Mello: *rubs hands together evilly like mad scientist* Oh boy, this is gonna ROCK!!!
Linda: *squeals* OMGOMGOMGOMG!!! WHAT A CUTE LITTLE PUPPY!!!!!!!!!! *heart shapes popping*
Near: Uh oh.. *pales violently*
Linda: *squeals nonstop until all the windows in Wammys' House shatter* COME HERE, LITTLE SWEETY PUPPY!!! YOU'RE ALLL MINE!! YOU MEAN BOYS CAN'T TOUCH HER!! SHE'S MINE!! !!!!
Near: I'M A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mello: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hahahahahahaahahahahahaha!!! What will Linda do to torture Near??
I slapped this together out of sheer boredom. It's meant to be funny, but it's not. I am such a pathetic writer. All disgusting girlyness contributed from my VERY VERY HELPFUL (can you hear the sarcasm?) sister!