I am spinning. My chest is constricting.

I slam the door to the bedroom as I hear Sam leave the apartment. He can be such a fucking jerk sometimes.

I don't know what I'm doing. My heart is pounding and the anger is bubbling up inside me. I sit down on the bed as my tears wash over me. I think about this fight, about our last fight, about all the fights we have. We fight about various things, but mostly about my music. He doesn't care about it, and it shows. He doesn't respect what I do and I am constantly reminded of that fact when he brushes off everything I say. He thinks I'm throwing my life away, chasing a dream of being a musician that will never happen. He doesn't understand that it's the one thing in my life that makes me happy.

I think about leaving him sometimes. We've been together for a year and a half, and I think about the beginning of our relationship, how sweet he was, how caring he seemed, and those memories keep me with him. Besides, I'm scared to leave and be alone.

I had found him at just the right time in my life. I met him a few months after I had been on tour with my band and had gone through one of the worst breakups. I had been dating this guy who became extremely jealous when I wasn't around or paying attention to him. It had been extremely difficult and I hated him for it. Sam seemed like a breath of fresh air when we met, opening up the possibility of love in my heart again.

Now, he wants me to move in with him, but there is something that doesn't feel right. I don't know how to explain it to him so I have been avoiding the topic. He had gotten pissed and left, slamming the apartment door behind him.

I feel like it's moving too fast. I want things to slow down, but that's not something he wants.

I look at the clock and see it's almost 2. I'll need to get ready soon to head to the bar to do a soundcheck before tonight's show. I change my clothes and clean up my face before walking out the door. I'll come back afterwards to get dressed for the show. I head for the subway into Manhattan.

When I arrive at the bar, I see Robbie, Max, and Devin setting up on the stage. "Hey Delphine!" Robbie calls out.

"Hi guys," I say.

"You excited about tonight?" Robbie asks me. He's been a good friend of mine for years and we've played in this band together since the beginning.

"Yeah, definitely, it's going to be a fun show," I comment, trying to hide any hints of my distress from earlier.

"My new man is coming! You can meet him," Robbie says, excitedly.

I chuckle. "Where'd you find this one?"

"Oh, we met at the club a couple weeks ago," Robbie mentions, "but I think this one's a keeper."

"Oh really?" I smirk at him as he looks smitten.

"Hey, let's get started," Max chimes in as he twirls his drumsticks. Devin puts his bass over his shoulder as Robbie tunes his guitar.

I step up to the microphone and look around at the empty bar. I know this place will be full tonight and I get excited.

We play through a few songs, checking levels here and there, making sure everything sounds good.

As we pack up, I hear Robbie call out to me from the front of the bar, "Hey, Delphine, Sam is here."

I look toward the door and see Sam with a bouquet of flowers in his hands. He steps in toward me.

"Hey, babe, look, I'm really sorry about earlier," he starts, "I didn't want to leave things the way I did before your show. It was my fault. Can you forgive me?" He hands me the flowers.

I'm not too pleased at his apology but he seems like he is trying, so I state, "Ok, fine. But you can't be such a jerk again."

He gives me a kiss. "I have to go to work now. Have a great show. I'll swing by and pick you up after, ok?"

"Ok, that's fine," I say.

He leaves and I feel like I should feel better, but I don't. I hate fighting though, so I decide to let it go and focus on the show.

"Jeez, what did he do this time?" Robbie asks. I know he's half joking, but he has a serious look in his eye.

"Nothing, it's fine," I answer.

"I'm worried about you. You don't seem all that happy, and you deserve to be happy."

"Thanks, Robbie, but really, it's fine."

I leave the bar and head back to Brooklyn. I think about what Robbie said while I'm on the subway. The train is fairly crowded, so I'm standing, shoved up against the door. Is he right? Am I unhappy? The train screeches to a stop as I feel the shuffle of people around me trying to exit the train. I have one more stop to go, and as people file out, a couple of people get pushed into me as I squeeze to make myself as small as I can. I see a flash of dreadlocks in my face as I close my eyes, trying to touch as few people as possible.

I finally make it back to my apartment and flop down on the bed. I feel so many different emotions, so many thoughts are flying through my mind, it's hard to focus. I decide I will take a nap to gain energy for this evening, and quickly doze off, pushing the thoughts from my mind.

I arrive at the bar a little before our set is supposed to start. The bar is already crowded so I head straight to the back to find the band.

"Hey, Delphine," Max says, as I see the guys. "You ok?"

I put on a smile and answer confidently, "Of course! Let's do this."

I peek out into the bar as the rest of the band goes out on stage to set up their equipment before we start. They usually begin playing the intro before I step out. Robbie has gotten me a drink from the bar, so I down it quickly, allowing it to relax me a little.

I hear the music begin and walk out onto the stage as everyone cheers. We have a pretty great fan base, always very enthusiastic. I begin to sing and immediately, I feel at ease. I am very comfortable at the microphone and I get into the music, belting and swaying to the beat. I know the bar is crowded, but I can't see much due to the lights. I flip my hair with my hand and lose myself in the music. Our set goes by quickly and as soon as we're done, I see a couple of our regular fans approach me.

"Delphine, that was so good, as always."

"Thanks, Dan." He's always there with his partner, Bill. They are two of our favorite fans.

I hear Robbie call my name from across the bar and look up to see him waving me over. Oh yes, I have to meet his man. I smile as I walk over.

He introduces me to his boyfriend, Felix, and his friend, Cosima.

"Enchantée," I say to Cosima. As she shakes my hand, I notice a warmth in her eyes. It's endearing. She has these wonderful dreads and her eye makeup is impeccable. She compliments me on my voice, which I am used to, but there is something about the way she talks that I am drawn to.

Robbie suggests we head next door to play pool like usual after a gig here, and I am pleased when I learn Cosima is coming with us. She seems so kind and I would like to get to know her more.

I feel lighter as I've temporarily forgotten about my problems with Sam. Music does this to me, and now, hanging with friends, I am happy.

I end up playing doubles with Cosima on my team. I feel kind of bad because I am very good at pool, and she is...not. She is so amusing in the way she talks, and she makes me smile and laugh a lot.

She takes a shot, missing the ball completely, turning to me and saying, "Sorry, I warned you."

I laugh, "That's ok, let me show you something."

I get behind her to line up her body with the cue. I don't know what I'm doing, but I feel this pull to be close to her. When I touch her, I feel a tingling in my body I am not expecting. She smells good, really good.

I try to get her to make the shot, but she misses again. "We'll work on it," I add, beaming at her.

"I don't know if this is my calling," she responds, with her beautiful smile.

I feel a rush of heat. Is it the alcohol? Is it...her?

"Maybe not," I answer. I need to splash some water on my face.

I excuse myself to head to the bathroom. I stare into the mirror as I think. What is this thing I am feeling? I feel oddly drawn to this woman I just met. I run the cool water, letting it wash over my hands, bringing it up to my face to bring me back to my reality. My reality with Sam.

When I walk back out, I see Cosima talking with Felix and I walk up behind her, hearing Felix tell her that she is enamored by something.

I come up behind her. "Enamored by what?" I ask.

She turns, looking a little flustered, "Oh...um...just...this city...enamored by the city...you know... its beautiful pulse," she says.

I chuckle inside. There is something so endearing about her. When she looks at me, I feel nervous, so nervous. "Ah, yes, the city is beautiful," I answer, playing it off.

Just as she asks me if she can get me another drink, I see Sam come up behind her.

My heart sinks immediately, but I remember I promised myself that I would give him a chance. I walk past Cosima and give him a kiss. He wants to go home, so while I'm a little disappointed, I give in. I don't want another fight. I say goodbye to Cosima and can't help but notice that she looks disappointed. I turn to leave.

"How was the show, babe?" Sam asks me as we get outside.

"Great!" I exclaim, "the energy in the room was wonderful."

"Cool," he says as he grabs my waist.

We ride the subway back to my apartment and end up making out when we get home. I'm fairly buzzed and we end up in my bed. The sex is fine, like usual, and he ends up falling asleep immediately afterward. I lay, staring up at the ceiling, my thoughts going to the night, and an image of Cosima flashes across my mind. I can't make sense of why I keep thinking of her. There's something about her kind eyes that captivate me.

I text Robbie, asking if we're still on for brunch tomorrow with the band. He responds, telling me we are, and informing me that he's bringing Felix along. On a whim, I tell Robbie to have Felix invite Cosima, trying to ask as casually as possible.

I put down my phone as sleep finally takes me.