Title: Realizations

Author: Garnet Eyes

Archived: y-gallery. net, fanfiction. net

Summary: So used to putting himself in danger, it is difficult for a SOLDIER to comprehend how his occupation affects others.

Rating: M

Pairings: Sephiroth x Cloud

Author Notes: I have not had the time to watch/play anything in the Final Fantasy VII universe beyond the original game and Advent Children. Therefore, I am certain there are inconsistencies between my writing and newer games or movies.

Disclaimers: Final Fantasy VII is owned by Squaresoft and I in no way, shape, or form profit off of my writing. This is simply for my own pleasure, and may at any time be removed and/or modified as I see fit.

...

With a deep, heavy breath, releasing as much stress as he could, the elite flexed his arms and rolled his neck and shoulders to loosen his muscles. The SOLDIER was not completely healed but the medical facilities always left him massively uncomfortable and the Professor had become oddly more engrossed in studying his genetic coding than ever before; altogether the warrior would duct tape his severed arm to his shoulder and call himself fixed rather than stay any nearer to Hojo than absolutely necessary at this current point in time. Luckily, such measures were not necessary, as he had only suffered a minor disembowelment, a concussion, two fractures in the left ulna, one slipped disk, and third degree burns lining the right side of his torso. Already the SOLDIER was mostly recovered, although the new, pink skin covering the right half of him was not currently very elastic and he was forbidden from sword work for at least another week to allow his bones enough time to properly fuse. A quick surgery fixed up his intestinal problem and careful application of a cure spell prevented any need for stitches; his head was better in a matter of hours, given the severity of his head trauma. Hojo had been in and out, looking particularly amused and distraught all at once; the only reason that the SOLDIER was even still in the bed was because he was strapped to it. The nurses claimed that it was precaution, Hojo claimed it was necessity, and one grizzled old doctor stated that the SOLDIER lashed out while sleeping, which caused the medical staff and equipment considerable damage, and the elite could accept that since he had physically assaulted tent-mates in his sleep while on missions before. He was still irate that he was being held captive in the infirmary.

A commotion outside of his room's door drew his attention although he could not make out precisely what was being said. He knew the voice that was speaking, however, and wavered between embarrassed exasperation and abject amusement, knowing that he was moments from receiving a visit from the most over-exuberant man he knew. After an unholy racket, the noise died down outside and it was as if no shouting match had just occurred. As expected, the door opened and a brightly smiling brunette stepped passed the threshold.

"And I'm the one everyone thinks is going to end up in intensive care at least once a month."

The door snicked shut quietly behind him and suddenly the young SOLDIER's disposition changed into something borderline hostile.

"Next time you go out on a mission like that I am coming with you, you fucking cocktrough. That is not something you take on alone ever and if it weren't for the fact that you're hurt I would gut you; Cloud had to be sedated you inconsiderate dick."

The younger man brought his arm up to wipe the spittle from his lips, sapphire eyes narrowed in ferocious fury.

"Sir."

The last was added as such an off-hand afterthought that Sephiroth almost wanted to smirk, but his head was clear now and what was said prior to that vicious stab at his rank was far more important. Face purposefully blank, the elite locked jade to sapphire and spoke with his usual crisp clarity.

"Zackary, is Cloud well now?"

With a half depreciating noise, the brunette deflated and trudged over to the bed, pulling up a chair along the way. After seating himself in the uncomfortable piece of furniture, the young SOLDIER sighed heavily.

"He's been sick with worry. I had to dismiss him from his classes via doctor's orders and drug him to sleep just so he would stop leaning pitifully over the toilet in my room, hanging against it like a drunk. Fucking hell, Sephiroth, do you know how scared I've been that the little guy will just fall over dead? I swear he knew you were hurt before you even got back."

Clasping his hands between his knees and dropping his head, the brunette exhaled a ragged breath.

"You can't keep doing this. Cloud can't take it. Just let someone else go with you for backup. Please."

Snorting, the elite shallowly flexed his restrained muscles once more.

"He knew the dangers of getting close to me and he accepted the terms –"

Sapphire eyes flared bright with Mako as the younger man whipped his head up with a glare.

"Damn it, Sephiroth! You aren't invincible! You're human and you're killing yourself for no good Ifrit forsaken reason. Why can't you see that for yourself?"

Feline eyes narrowed, but the silver warrior waited a few moments before responding.

"I have every right to expect the best from myself, Zackary, and your vehemence does not change that."

A shadow passed over sapphire eyes before the SOLDIER stood with a stiff salute.

"I'll keep your paperwork under control, sir. I hope, for his sake, you never rub off on Cloud."

Turning on heel, the brunette marched out of the little hospital room. Sephiroth frowned, vowing to have words with the younger man, but settled down for a bit of meditation and to wait for his eventual release. His little blonde apprentice could stand for a talking to as well if he was going to cause such hysteria. Feline eyes slid shut as the elite turned over phrases in his mind to come up with what needed to be said.

"General, sir!"

Opening one jade eye, the silver warrior glanced over the faceless SOLDIER standing at his bedside in mild confusion.

"At ease."

The redhead held his rigid stance, however, and continued to speak.

"Lieutenant Fair has requested to see you, sir. The matter is urgent."

Sephiroth grunted acceptance and in no time was dressed and leaving the medical facilities, heading up to his office. The hallways were unusually empty, which was the perfect blessing for the elite as he made his way to the elevators and ascended to the floor that commanded his attention during his waking hours. Zackary was not where he was expected to be, although the General's office was in perfect order and there was not a tremendous pile in his inbox. In fact, there was nothing in his inbox. Sighing in mild exasperation, the silver warrior shut the door to his office and began his Zackary hunt. It took nearly all of his patience and half an hour before the SOLDIER saw the familiar bob of black hair out by the training grounds. Slipping quickly from the buildings and to the paved outdoor training facilities, Sephiroth readied a rather violent tongue lashing for the other man. Brusquely, he came up behind his quarry and started on the offense before the younger man could sense his presence.

"The next time you send for me, Zackary, I expect you to inform me of where you intend to be."

Haunted sapphire eyes whipped around to look at the General, the younger man's form jolting in a full-body jerk. Sephiroth halted immediately, not liking that display in the least.

"S-Seph, Shiva's mercy, Cloud –"

Sighing, the elite rolled his eyes and crossed both leather-clad arms but held his tongue, waiting to be informed of whatever new bout of hysteria the blonde had undergone. The hitch in the brunette's voice was unmistakable.

"The mission – it, it failed."

That caught his attention, causing both feline eyes to narrow.

"What mission? Failed how?"

Almost in tears, the brunette continued.

"The backup never got there. Cloud, he…"

A cold, hard lump lodged in his chest and Sephiroth uncrossed his arms only to grasp the younger man by both biceps.

"Zackary. What. Is. Wrong. With. Cloud."

The black-capped head bowed silently.

"Medical can't do anything for him. Hojo –"

"Hojo?"

Not waiting for another second, the silver warrior took off toward the science ward, coat and hair streaming behind him in a flourish of black and silver. The cold had solidified into a much heavier dread, sinking into the pit of his stomach, and Sephiroth found he could not move fast enough. By the time he reached the labs, the SOLDIER was slightly out of breath and incredibly furious. Whatever Hojo thought he could do to Cloud, Sephiroth wouldn't stand for it.

The lab was pristine as the General entered it, but that did not stop him from recoiling in abject horror. His Cloud was there, floating like dead weight in a Mako tank, missing most of his skin and the front of his rib cage, exposing his lungs and the steady pulse of his heart. Both eyelids were closed on his miraculously untouched face, but one was sunken in, which led to the belief that the blonde was missing an eye. There was nothing left of his left arm but the bones and ligaments, all muscle stripped and removed. This… what mission had – the elite could not contain the violent roar of rage and helplessness that surged from his throat and rattled his lungs. Those responsible for this would pay.

"I doubt you had a good reason for that."

Feline eyes turned toward the scientist in blind fury.

"What are you doing to him?"

Amusement filtered into the gaunt face before him as the scientist moved over to check a few monitors.

"Currently keeping him alive. Such an interesting specimen, this one, that he managed to survive such torture. Luckily for him he didn't know anything useful or Avalanche might actually pose a danger to the corporation."

The General hissed almost silently, suddenly finding that particular resistance group to be the pinnacle of his important matters and so help him Sephiroth was going to kill every single one of those miserable bastards in the most painful ways he knew how.

"Mako won't heal this kind of damage. It will only keep the boy from dying. Fascinating, how strong the human will to survive is. This is a wonderful opportunity to implement a few experiments, though. Perhaps I can make him stronger…"

Hojo began mumbling to himself as Sephiroth stepped closer to the tank, hands clenched at his sides to prevent his fingers from shaking. Cloud was desperately clinging to life, but the kind of life he might return to was that of pain. Still, Sephiroth knew that he was a selfish man and he would prefer a Cloud in constant agony than no Cloud at all.

Eyelids twitched on the floating figure before him and Sephiroth raised both hands to press flat against the glass, relieved through his anger that both eyes opened, revealing one unfocused orb and a hollow socket.

"Cloud, if you can hear me nod."

For a disparaging moment there was nothing, but then, finally, the boy nodded once.

"You're back at Shin-Ra, Cloud; we'll take care of everything."

The working, skinless arm rose to place thin, usually graceful digits against the glass, fingers splayed to rest on the other side of one of the elite's hands with agonizing slowness. Behind him, Hojo continued mumbling about various experiments but the General could not bring his focus away from the boy floating in the tank.

"I swear to you, Cloud, I will not rest until those responsible for this have paid. All I ask is that you recover."

The blonde opened his mouth as if to speak but lurched forward instead, causing the teen's heart to dislodge from his chest cavity slightly, floating in tandem with the rest of his body. It was all the elite could do to close his eyes and smile rigidly up at the boy while wondering if he would ever be able to converse with the teen again.

Feline eyes flashed open in mild panic at the sound of a heart monitor as muscles coiled to take some kind of action. But the bland white of the hospital ceiling lay in front of his vision and heavy straps kept him pinned to his bed. That horrific experience had – it must have been a dream, then. So unfathomably relieved that his chest throbbed painfully, the silver warrior exhaled a harsh breath and closed his eyes briefly. Cloud was safe. Drugged and asleep, but safe. There would be no torturous trips to the science ward, every day hoping against all odds that the little blonde would survive to see the next day. Sephiroth was not certain that he did not harbor at least a minor grudge toward Avalanche, even if they hadn't touched his Cloud, because they very well could touch his Cloud as long as they existed. That would need to be dealt with.

"Seph?"

The quiet, groggy voice instantly caught his attention and the elite turned sharp eyes toward the door to his room, seeing a mildly simmering brunette SOLDIER holding a half-asleep blonde bridal style.

"I figured I could do without the dry heaves when he woke up and you weren't back, sir."

For all of his indignance, Zackary was very careful in how he maneuvered the half unconscious blonde into the bed against Sephiroth's still tender right side, avoiding the cast on the left side. The elite struggled to shift his body to cradle the still heavily sedated teen, unable to do much around the straps holding him down. Much like a kitten, the boy curled up around the heat source he had been placed against with one last groggy mumble before fading back to sleep. With a contented sigh, Sephiroth cocked his head to rest against tawny gold spikes and shut his own feline eyes.

"Thank you, Zackary."

The brunette huffed in exasperation, but gamely patted the elite's head and winked when one jade eye opened in mild menace. Rolling his eyes at the cheeky expression his second sent his way, Sephiroth buried his nose in coarse hair and drifted halfway between waking and sleeping, focused on the slight weight at his side and the gentle puffs of air against his collarbone.