Dr. Feel Good show Special Guest/s: Voldemort and Harry Potter

Dr. FG: Hello and welcome back to the Dr. Feel Good Show, where your favorite story characters are sat down and talk about their problems. Our special guest today is Tom Riddle, known to the Wizarding world as 'Lord Voldemort'. Let's Give him a hand, folks.

(various applause from audience)

V: ...

Dr. FG: So, let's start with our first question. When did you really become evil?

V: Well, actually, it was more of a gradual progression throughout my life, starting during my years at Hogwarts and it grew into a sort of obsession, I suppose, by the time I had graduated.

Dr. FG: Interesting and tragic. Let's bring in our next guest. Folks, let's give a hand for the infamous Harry Potter!

(HP enters the room waving, and sits down the in chair opposite V)

Dr. FG: Mr. Riddle, are you acquainted with Mr. Potter here?

V: Voldemort, please. And yes, we go way back.

(HP sits stiffly in chair while V is relaxed)

Dr. FG: I can sense some serious tension between you two. Harry, do you want to share with everyone what you have against Mr. Riddle, here?

V: Voldemort.

HP: He killed my parents and my friends!

(audience gasps)

Dr. FG: I can see how that would build walls between you two. Mr. Riddle, do you have anything to say against these serious accusations?

V: It's my job. I want to rule the world and they were standing in my way.

Dr. FG: Talk to us about this 'wanting' to rule the world.

V: Well, it's like a hobby to me. I've always wanted to be the most powerful wizard, and I just decided to pursue my dream.

Dr. FG: Harry?

HP: He's EVIL! Can't you see that? He admitted he killed them!

V: Hey, it pays the bills. Being evil is expensive.

HP: You KILL innocent people! You almost KILLED me!

Dr. FG: Harry, Tom has bills to pay. You have to learn to let go. His job is dangerous, you need to learn to respect it.

V: Voldemort. Lord Voldemort LADY, GET IT RIGHT!

HP: let go?! LET GO?! How am I supposed to 'LET IT GO'? He's KILLED my ONLY family!

Dr. FG: But you live with your aunt and uncle and cousin. You aren't alone, Harry.

HP: Yeah? I live in a CUPBOARD UNDER THE STAIRS! That's not how you treat relatives, Doc.

Dr. FG: Maybe they had a reason.

HP: Other than they HATE me?

V: They're your family, Harry.

HP: Says you. You murdered YOUR family.

V: .... I regret some things.

HP: I DOUBT THAT!

Dr. FG: Harry, would you feel better if you yelled into this pillow?

(DFG hands HP pillow. HP takes it.)

HP: (muffled scream)

(HP hands pillow back)

HP: That helped.

Dr. FG: Good. Do you feel better?

HP: No.

Dr. FG: Mr. Riddle, I think you owe Harry an apology.

V: VOLDEMORT, LADY! (pulls out wand) AVADA KADABRA! (green light flashes out and hits lighting. Sparks fly)

Dr. FG: Maybe you should take out your anger on this pillow.

(DFG hands V pillow)

V: AVADA KADABRA! (zaps pillow)

Dr. FG: Well?

V: It just doesn't have the same effect. No partial scream, nothing.

Dr. FG: You owe Harry an appolgy.

HP: What good would that do?

Dr. FG: Shh, Harry. Tom?

V: VOLDEMORT!

Dr. FG: Fine, Mr. Voldemort?

V: I'm sorry, Harry.

HP: For what?! You kill my parents and friends and all you can say is 'Sorry'?

V: Well, what else can I do?

HP: BRING THEM BACK!

V: I can't do that!

(HP pulls out wand. V pulls out wand)

V: To the death.

HP: Yes.

Dr. FG: Boys! We don't fight!

HP: EXPELLIARMUS!

V: AVADA KADABRA!

(duel commences)

Dr. FG: Thank you for watching the Dr. Feel Good Show, where your favorite story characters talk about their problems. Tune in next week when we bring another special guest to talk. See you then!

(DFG ducks behind chair. Audience flees the scene. Duel continues, spells flinging wildly everywhere)

TUNE IN FOR FURTHER EPISODES.... R&R PLZ!