This fanfic is dedicated to Less Than 13 who gave me the 'Turtles' fic prompt, thank you so much! Hope you like it! HAHA. Thanks for reading! Sorry for any mistakes :)

TURTLES
Pairing: Cameron/Thirteen
Rating:
M (for a teeny part at the start)… the rest is K!!

"Turtles…"

Remy looked up from in between her girlfriend's legs and raised an eyebrow. Cameron smirked as she twirled her blonde hair with one hand; she seemed to be in deep thought, not paying any attention to the brunette pleasuring her.

"Turtles?" Remy licked her lips and asked before lowering her head to continue pressing her tongue against and running it over Cameron's wet folds.

"Yeah… my birthday gift hint…" Cameron trailed off with a moan as she felt Remy's wet and soft tongue press deep into her.

Remy looked up again, "I was thinking more of… 'Hey, what are a girl's best friends?' or 'My neck feels a little empty, it needs something new and pretty to go round it!'… like you know… normal… birthday hints…"

"Nahhh…" Cameron thought and scrunched her face up, "Turtles! You've got two weeks… We'll see how creative you are outside the bedroom…" she moaned and tangled her fingers in Remy's hair as the brunette went back to what she was doing. She decided to focus on making her girlfriend orgasm instead of "Turtles".


"Turtles?" Cuddy asked with an eyebrow raised.

"EXACTLY…" Remy threw her hands up in exasperation.

A week to go before Cameron's birthday and she was getting desperate. What the hell could "Turtles" mean? It was a difficult birthday hint to decipher. Remy felt like a hacker with limited time to hack a code; not hacking it in time would have disastrous consequences for the world.

Cuddy tapped her pen with one hand and rubbed her temple with another, staring at the ceiling in deep thought.

"Maybe she… wants something… green?" The dean shrugged and guessed lamely.

"I've thought about that… but… I don't think that's her favourite colour." Remy scratched her head.

"Well it's not her least favourite colour either." Cuddy noted and sighed, "Well, good luck…"

"What? That's all you've got? Green? And then you're going to leave me to figure it out myself?!" Remy asked incredulously.

"Well, I have more important things on my mind then TURTLES…" Cuddy pursed her lips and waved her documents in the air, "And… I'm not Cameron's girlfriend…"

Remy sighed in frustration, "I'll go ask someone else then… Thanks."


"Maybe she wants to be a turtle on her birthday. Hide in her shell and not come out to play. No birthday celebrations, no surprises. Not even… you…" Taub shrugged and grinned sheepishly at Remy who had her arms folded to stop herself from punching him.

Come to think of it, Taub did make a little bit of sense; and it scared her just a little bit.


"Turtles are slow. Maybe you've been fucking her too fast… slow down Thirteen… girls like it slow and steady sometimes." House shouted the end of his sentence so that Remy could hear him.

Remy had left the room at "fucking"… she wondered why she bothered to ask House.


"She wants a sea-shell."

"What?" Remy furrowed her eyebrows at Foreman.

"Turtle. Shell. Sea shell." Foreman gave her a 'DUH' look.

Remy rolled her eyes and left the lab, bumping into Chase in the process. She obviously wasn't going to ask him after his history with Cameron.


"Turtles come in all sizes… she wants a dildo, obviously."

"Shut up, House."


The week passed slowly and painfully (no thanks to her colleagues) as Remy thought about Cameron's birthday. She tried asking her a number of times directly what she wanted for her birthday. Cameron wouldn't tell her and always shut her up with a kiss. Finally, Remy decided she'd rather get her something rather than nothing at all.

Cameron came home from a half-day's work. She was planning to come home with Remy who had also taken half a day off so that both of them could celebrate her birthday. However, Cameron learnt that Remy had already left the hospital earlier in the morning.

"Babe? Are you home?" Cameron asked as she entered and pulled her coat off. No response.

Cameron walked further into their living room and found their dining table covered with different objects with a table cloth covering all of them. The blonde was about to unveil one of them when Remy came bouncing out of the bedroom.

"STOP!" Remy shouted and gasped.

Cameron froze with her eyes wide.

The brunette sighed in relief when she saw that Cameron hadn't seen or unveiled anything yet.

"Happy Birthday!" Remy grinned and gestured towards the objects on the table.

Cameron chuckled, "What are they?"

Remy took her hand and pulled her to the first object at the end of the table, "Turtles…"

"All of them?" Cameron widened her eyes in surprise.

"Well… technically… you'll see." The brunette smirked, "Go ahead… unveil the first one…"

Cameron felt the excitement built in her as she slowly pulled the cloth off. Her grin grew wider at the adorable green stuffed toy. It was 'Squirtle', the turtle Pokemon.

Cameron held the stuffed Pokemon up and laughed, "Cute!"

"Something to hug… you know, when I'm not around…"

Remy grinned at how cute her girlfriend looked, cuddling the stuffed toy against her chest. She leaned in for a kiss.

"What's the next one?" Cameron asked eagerly.

Remy pulled the cloth off the second object. It was a "Finding Nemo" DVD. Cameron chuckled. She loved that movie.

"There are 150 year old turtles in there… and Ellen Degeneres is a plus…" Remy grinned.

Cameron kissed Remy on the cheek lovingly, "Something to watch… thanks."

"Something to swim with…" Remy said and pulled off the cloth revealing two tickets to Sea World, granting them excess to swim with 150 year old turtles.

"WOW…" Cameron held the tickets up, "Now that is cool!"

"Something to play with…" Remy pointed to the next object.

Cameron pulled the cloth off in haste and revealed a Wii console with a Super Mario game next to it.

"Killing turtles on a Wii!! FUN!" Cameron jumped up elatedly, "Can't wait to plug it in!"

She planted a quick kiss on her girlfriend's lips again to thank her. She was loving every minute of this! The gifts were just perfect.

"And… this one…" Remy tapped on the object shaped like a rectangular something under the cloth, "Something to look after…"

"Let me guess… real-life turtles!" Cameron squealed excitedly and pulled the cloth of impatiently.

Her eyes widened and her heart softened at two cute little tortoises resting on some rocks, just above the clear water filled with different kinds of pretty water plants.

Cameron sighed at how cute they were, "God they're so adorableeeeee…" she cooed.

"Just promise me you won't kill them by next week…" Remy folded her arms and smirked.

"I WON'T!!" Cameron scoffed and unfolded Remy's arms so that she could hug her.

"Thank you… for the gifts..." Cameron whispered into Remy's ear as she hugged her.

"Glad you like them… but I still have one more…" Remy said before kissing her cheek and breaking away, "Stay here" she said before disappearing into the bedroom.

Cameron took the time to admire her gifts and think about how lucky she was to have such a sweet girlfriend. She touched the top of the tortoise shells lightly, hoping not to scare them into their shells.

Just then, the blonde's actions were interrupted by the strumming of a guitar. Cameron looked towards the bedroom and smirked when she saw Remy wearing hot pants, a shirt with a tie on and a hat, playing a guitar hung around her neck.

"Imagine me and you… I do… I think about you day and night… it's only right… to think about the girl you love… and hold her tight… SO HAPPY TOGETHERRRRRRRRRRR…" Remy began singing dramatically even though she couldn't sing.

Cameron burst out laughing as she watched her girlfriend do a little awkward dance as she played the guitar and sang The Turtle's So Happy Together out of tune.

"If I should call you up, invest a dime… and you say you belong to me… and ease my mind, imagine how the world could be, so very fine…SO HAPPY TOGETHER!!" Remy played the guitar and sang the second verse, while dancing and jumping around her girlfriend.

Cameron grabbed her sides and continued laughing. Remy's performance was hilarious, but also rather cute and endearing.

"I CAN'T SEE ME LOVING NOBODY BUT YOU… FOR ALL MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIFE! WHEN YOU'RE WITH ME BABY THE SKYS WILL BE BLUE! FOR ALL MY LIIIIIIIIIIFE!" Remy shut her eyes and sang LOUDLY and comically with awesome out-of-tune passion, strumming her guitar furiously as she did.

Cameron was now on the floor, her face wet with tears of laughter and her stomach muscles aching from laughing too hard.

Remy continued singing up until the "ba ba ba ba" part where Cameron had joined in for an out-of-tune duet. By the end of it, they were both on the floor in a breathless laughing fit.

"Best birthday ever…" Cameron sighed and giggled.

The brunette grinned, "The day isn't over yet…" Remy rolled over so that she could kiss her girlfriend, "Sex and then a nice birthday dinner?"

"Sounds great…" Cameron beamed before getting up and pulling her girlfriend by her tie to the bedroom.