Written for Reeby10 for the Exchange at Fic Corner. Many thanks to learns_slowly for being a fantastic beta :)
The weary party looked in shock at the waving figure on the hill. Lirael blinked, unable to believe her eyes.
"Nick! But… how… he was…" Sam was clearly as shocked as she was.
"Could the Destroyer still be acting through him?" Sabriel's question was made in such practical, matter-of-fact tones that Lirael wondered if she was imagining the faint tremor in her voice.
"I don't think so, the shard left him, didn't it?" Sam asked, then "Look out! He's going to fall!" He started forwards, then slowed again as Nick didn't in fact collapse – though he did sway dramatically and then drop quickly to sit on the ground.
"Idiot. He's overdone it as usual," Sam said, affection in his voice. "It's Nick all right."
"Perhaps," Touchstone said neutrally, then looked at his new sister-in-law who stood supported by the Clayr twins. "You should stay back until Sabriel and I have made sure."
"No," Lirael said - later, she would wonder how she had dared to argue with the King. "I'm sure Sam's right, and I'm the only one who spoke to him when he was being possessed."
Touchstone looked reluctant, but nodded. They moved towards Nick, walking perhaps a little faster than before. Sabriel reached him first, stepped to his side and gestured to the others to wait at the edge of the unburnt patch that had been within their diamonds of protection.
"Nicholas Sayre?" she asked, face stern.
"Uh, yes, Mrs Abhorsen – Ma'am – Sir?" the panic in Nick's face was evident, but it was Nick all right. No smoke rose from him to reveal the presence of the Destroyer, and Lirael suddenly found herself laughing, startling herself as much as anyone. She had thought she would never smile again. The grief and destruction of the day still weighed on her, cutting her laughter short, but she had laughed.
After a first startled glance at her, Sabriel turned her attention back to Nick. Slowly, she reached out and touched his forehead with two fingers. "A living man, and an uncorrupted Charter Mark," she pronounced, and everyone relaxed. "Though there is still much Free Magic in you too. How did this happen?"
"Lirael's Dog gave me the Mark and sent me back, ma'am," he said, clearly recovering his usual poise and polished manners somewhat.
"The Dog?" Lirael sprang forward on hearing his words. She stumbled and would have fallen if Sanar and Ryelle had not caught her and lowered her gently.
"Healing first," Sabriel said firmly, looking between them. "Questions later."
"The Southerlings have survived the destruction, and will wish to speak with Prince Sameth and the King soon," Sanar said, her voice deepening as the Sight took hold.
"Major Tindall is on his way here already," Ryelle continued. Then, her eyes focusing on them once more, she added. "You should meet him. We will handle the healing."
Everyone exploded into activity, rushing off in all directions, or so it seemed to Lirael's weary senses. At least the twins required nothing more of her than to lie back quietly while they called on the Charter. Knowing she was a better mage than both, she half-wondered if she should have offered to do the healing herself. But she was so weary... The one thing she did want to do, and that desperately, was question Nick about the Dog; but up close, he looked so terrible that she forced herself to be patient. Then golden magic wrapped around them both, and she gladly fell into its warm embrace, letting it soothe away the pain.
At last, the golden light faded. She and Nick were moved onto the stretchers the soldiers had brought. They were left alone, and before she could ask, Nick began to speak, his voice low.
"The Dog, is she…"
"She – she sacrificed herself for me," Lirael said, choking over the words. "For the binding… the person who split the hemispheres had to die. I knew it; I'd seen it; I meant it to be me, but she bit my hand off and…" she couldn't speak any more, the pain too much to hold in.
Nick rolled over and reached out tentatively, resting a hand on her arm. "I saw her while I was… well, dead, I suppose," he said quietly when her sobs calmed. "I was in a dark place, standing in – I think it was a river?"
Lirael nodded. "The river of Death." she whispered.
"Right, you'd know. I felt as if I should lie down and go with it, but something was keeping me standing, something warm on my forehead. So I was just waiting for something to happen, and then the Dog appeared. She told me that you'd succeeded, and that she'd given me the Charter mark to save me." He frowned. "I think she said more, but I can't quite remember… it's a bit like a dream. She called you… Remembrancer and Abhorsen? Is that right? And she sent me back. I asked her if it was allowed, and she said it wasn't, but she is the Disreputable Dog. Anyway, I'm glad she did."
"So am I," Lirael said, smiling just a little. "Thank you for telling me." Did she dare hope? If the Dog had sent Nick back, could she return herself? No. No, she wouldn't have said goodbye if she could.
Nick smiled back at her. He'd gone pale again, and Lirael felt a stab of guilt. She shouldn't have kept him talking. "You should rest now," she said.
For a second Nick looked as if he might argue, but then nodded. "Overdone it just a bit recently, I think." He lay back on his stretcher and fell silent.
Lirael lay numbly, not really listening as everyone else continued sorting through the aftermath of the binding of Orannis. She wasn't thinking of anything, not really; she just lay there, cradling the soft stone statue with her single remaining hand. Finally, when Sabriel approached her, she looked up.
"Lirael? We were wondering what you wish to do now…"
Lirael looked blankly at the Abhorsen's face - her sister's face. How strange that still seemed! Then she realised what Sabriel was asking, realised what she should have understood immediately. The need for both sword and bell when walking in Death, the double-bell peals to bind the Greater Dead… an Abhorsen, or even an Abhorsen-in-waiting, would need both hands.
"I suppose I should go back to the Glacier," she said slowly, heart aching at Sabriel's nod. "Perhaps Vancelle will take me back as a Librarian." Could she really do it? Go back to the Library alone, when the place held so many memories of the Dog and their adventures? I wouldn't need the Library at all to find a way to die now, a voice in her head whispered. All I'd have to do is step into Death, let the river take me… She could almost hear the Dog's growling reproof, almost feel the pinch of sharp teeth. Almost, but not quite.
Now Sabriel was frowning. "I understand if you want to return to the Clayr's Glacier for a time, of course. I know you had to leave in a hurry, and there may be things you left undone. But you are the Abhorsen-in-waiting, and I will need your help. Orannis is bound and Hedge is gone, but the evils they raised will take time to put down."
"But I can't be," Lirael said, raising her right arm. "Not any more." Then she looked at Sabriel, puzzled. "I thought that was why you asked what I wanted to do."
"No! I only wondered if you wanted to return home for a time, to rest and heal. And which home? Abhorsen's house and the Palace are both your home by right as well as the Glacier, my sister." She sat down next to Lirael, and smiled gently. "Your hand… we will find a way around that. And there is still much you can do."
Lirael turned over Sabriel's words in her mind. 'Home by right'... she had thought she could cry no more that day, but found herself blinking away tears. She had a sister, a new family. And Sabriel still believed she could help... "The pipes." she said. "If there were a set at Abhorsen's House, I think I could make a Charter-spelled chain or something to hold them to my lips when I needed them. That… that would be a start, wouldn't it?"
"I can make that," Sam said from where he had been pretending not to eavesdrop. "Or better, I could - I think I could make you a hand."
"Sam!" Ellimere had also been listening in. "Don't make promises you can't - "
"The Dog said you would!" Nick exclaimed. "I just remembered, when you said it."
"He can try," Sabriel said firmly, interrupting the brewing squabble.
"Thank you," Lirael added in little more than a whisper, and Sam grinned at her.
"Now, to get back to my question. Sanar and Ryelle are rejoining the rest of the Clayr at Barhedrin Hill, and making their way to the Glacier from there. Ellimere and Sam are returning to Belisaere - someone needs to be in charge, and Touchstone has arrangements to make for the Southerling refugees. Where would you like to go?"
"I'll go back to the Glacier some time," Lirael said slowly. "But not yet. I can't - without the Dog - " her voice broke.
"We understand," the twins said together.
"But remember, you are a Daughter of the Clayr, and always welcome," Sanar continued.
"We will see you again, perhaps sooner than you think," Ryelle finished.
That left Abhorsen's House and the Palace. Lirael thought she would like to return to that quiet house on the island, to see again the Charter-sendings who had waved her off; but she shrank from the thought of returning alone. The Palace, then? Or… 'I need your help', Sabriel had said. Well, why not start now, if she could?
"What are you doing? Can I help?"
"The wind flutes on the Perimeter must be remade, or the Dead will rise there. But the binding must be mine." The Abhorsen examined her, eyes thoughtful. "Thank you for offering, but I think you must concentrate on healing for now. If you don't wish to return to the Glacier, will you go to Belisaere? You will be well looked after, and I shall try to return as soon as I can."
When Lirael nodded agreement, Sabriel smiled. "I look forward to getting to know my sister. And my Abhorsen-in-waiting… I think in many ways you may be better prepared than I was, with my Ancelstierran upbringing. But it is a hard path sometimes, and you had it thrust upon you unexpectedly. I am sorry for that."
"Does the walker choose the path, or the path the walker?" Lirael quoted, then added shyly, "I look forward to getting to know you all, too."
It was true, she thought, listening quietly as Sabriel spoke to Nick, suggesting he too return to the Old Kingdom where the magic coursing through him would be understood. Despite the terrible grief of losing the Dog; despite her injuries; despite the weariness that seemed to have made its home in her very bones; despite the strange new sadness that stabbed at her when Nick insisted on staying in Ancelstierre to recuperate; despite everything, she could see a hopeful future ahead. Not in the manner the Clayr Saw, of course; but she had a new family, a path to walk, a destiny to fulfil. 'Abhorsen and Remembrancer', the Dog had said. Well, she would not let her best friend down.