Disclaimer: I own neither the series nor the characters. Don't even think of asking when this takes place. It's just for fun, awright? Everyone's in a vacuum or something. Or post-series AU. Whatever.
This is based on クイズ！かみにーさま500のこと！ by ハクギン
It was an unconventional day at Cafe Grandpa.
It was the weekend, the time where the hourse-turned-cafe would normally be aflood with customers. However, today the store was empty except for the few people that were already inside. This was only emphasized by the wooden sign hanging on the front door that read "CLOSED" in bold letters.
However, even if the cafe was closed, that didn't mean it wasn't abuzz with activity.
"Welcome, everyone, to the first 'God Only Knows!' competition." announced an excited Elsie to the people sitting before her. Instead of her usual japanese drabs or even her school uniform, the devil was wearing a black and white suit sans the vest.
Her "audience" today, and the only other people in the large space of Cafe Grandpa was composed of six girls sitting side-by-side. They all sat in front of a table which had on top a whiteboard along a black marker and cloth.
Next to Elsie and directly in front of the six was what looked to be a large monitor. It only showed a title card with the words "God Only Knows" taking up most of the center. On the left, all the girls' names were written by the order they were seated, left to right, along with a zero next to them.
Tsukiyo - 0
Kanon - 0
Tenri - 0
Shiori - 0
Yui - 0
Ayumi - 0
Elsie stood before all the goddess hosts with one mic in hand as she pointed to the screen. "Today we're all going to learn more about Kami-niisama by having a quiz! It's the Kami-niisama 500! The game is simple. I ask Kami-niisama a question and you try to guess what he would answer."
Yui leaned up on her seat, excitement in her eyes. "My love for Keima-kun won't be defeated by anyone!"
Tsukiyo settled into her seat, her hands on her lap and brows furrowed. "I'm not going to lose, either."
Really all the girls looked excited to be there. it was just something that Elsie had made up on the spot but they had all attended. Especially when they heard the prize...
"More than that...Hey Elly!" Ayumi waved over to her friend from her seat. "Is it true that the winner can go on a date with Katsuragi?"
The devil smiled and nodded back. "It's true! Kami-sama also agreed!"
Moreover, since everyone was part of it, there was now an unspoken rule that the others wouldn't interrupt or get in the way (not that any of these girls would).
"That's" Shiori ended her words there with a blush even if her mind continued. 'I don't know if he'd be willing to...but if it's not too much trouble, maybe we can write a novel together...Ah! W-what am am I thinking?!'
"But where is Keima-kun, then?" asked Kanon, noticing the lack of prosence of the boy. She had even worn her glasses so she knew she wouldn't be able to miss him.
"Right now, Kami-niisama is in another room being tied up!" replied Elsie, averting her gaze. "It should be fine...I think."
"Keima-kun...I hope he's alright." murmurred Tenri to herself, her head down. She felt a bit awkward being here as she was the only one who wasn't from their school. The other hosts knew each other at least through their school.
"It's fine, Tenri-san." Elsie gave the ribbon adorned girl a thumbs up. "Haqua is the one looking after him so he won't run away! Anyways, let's begin!"
"I wonder if it's really okay..." Tenri turned her gaze upstairs where the faint sounds of struggling could be heard even from below.
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"Damn it! Let me go, you Bug Devils! Why do I always have to deal with such things!"
Katsuragi Keima struggled in his seat, his arms and legs tied up so he couldn't move any of his limbs. Worse was that he couldn't even play his games like this!
The only other person in the room sighed on her seat. Haqua directed a lazy glance at the struggling gamer. "How did I get dragged into this?"
She sat, her chin resting on her palm and a michrophone in the other. In front of the two of them was a camera set on a tripod. It was her role to ask the questions to Keima.
"At least break these restraints so I could play my games!"
"I don't think the goddesses would appreciate that."
Haqua's reply stilled Keima for a moment before he released his own sigh. The goddesses were the one to capture him so escaping would just delay the whole thing as they'd just do it again anyways.
It would be better to just cooperate now and finish this as fast as possible.
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Back downstairs, the monitor blinked before showing the faces of Keima and Haqua to the players below.
"Kami-niisama! Haqua! Can you hear me?" asked Elsie as she waved in front of the monitor. It wasn't two-way so her motion didn't really matter. Her words however were able to be sent over through her mic as Haqua nodded.
"Yeah, I can hear you!"
"I'll make sure to finish this vague event as soon as possible." Keima's shoulder twitched. He had wanted to adjust his glasses but forgot he was tied up.
"I don't get it," Elsie tilted her head, "but this is an event to be friends with everyone so do your best, Kami-niisama!"
"Keima-kun! I'm definitely going to be first so just hold on!" Yui yelled with confidence, loud enough for the mic to pick up.
Her words however just made Keima look away, awkwatd. " ...I'm still unwlling on that matter."
"Ehhh!" Elsie turned to the monitor, her face showing betrayal. "But you said you were okay with it a while ago."
"Can I really say anything else when I'm surrounded by six goddesses?" deadpanned Keima.
Elsie flinched at that, twiddling her fingers. "So, it's not okay?"
The goddess hosts all had the same thought in their hearts of 'After all...', knowing how the Capturing God normally worked. If they had wings, they'd all have dropped down then.
As if sensing, or predicting such a thing happening downstairs, Keima sighed, slight annoyance on his face. "Well, instead of just dismissing the whole thing, I'll do it under a condition."
All the girls perked up at his words.
Elsie tilted her head as she asked."A condition?"
"When this event is over, everyone won't bother me for the next two days! That includes you too, Elsie!" Keima sighed as his head dropped. "As I speak, more and more games are being piled up on my backlog which needs completing. I need those two days to catch up. I'll then be okay with going on a date after."
The girls exchanged glances with one another, none of them really showing any resistance to such an idea. Seeing so, Elsie replied to her mic. "Everyone's okay with it."
"Well, then. Let's get started." declared Keima as he leaned back on his seat, his face serious.
The faster they got through this, the faster he got back to his games,
LINE
Happy that he had agreed with her, Elsie turned her back to the monitor with a smile and faced the girls, her contestants for this game. On the mointor, A semi-transparent box then appeared below Keima's face which contained the first question.
"Our first question!" Elsie read. "Ignoring their hosts, who is your favorite goddess?"
It seemed that the questions were already dropping bombs even right from the start.
"This is..." Shiori whispered as she glanced to the other girls next to her, or more specfically the mirrors that were laid on each one's table.
"To think that there would be a battle like this so soon..." said Yui as she leaned back on her seat.
"Well, the host doesn't really matter, but..." Ayumi frowned as she felt the air slightly tense around them. Already, she could feel nervousness creep through everyone on getting the question right. It was just like right before a race. The stakes were now as real as ever.
Tsukiyo felt the doll on her lap shake. The blonde turned to the mirror. "Vulcan, what is it?"
"...I don't feel confident that man would choose me." Her reflection spoke back to her, eyes closed either in worry or concentration.
Next to her, Kanon also frowned as she stared at her blank white board. She'd been on enough variety shows like this to be used to this sort of thing. She tapped her lower lip with her marker. "I can't say I'm confident in Apollo either..."
"How horrible!" Apollo cried in protest from her reflection in the mirror.
Compared to the other two godesses, the one on the right of them smiled in absolute smug confidence. "It seems that this is already our win."
Tenri turned her gaze to her friend in the reflection."Diana's confident, ne?"
"Of course!" The sharp-eyed reflection held her head high. "It's an easy answer if we think about the amount of time he's known my sisters and myself."
Well, even if Diana was confident it was her, Tenri didn't really think that was the case, knowing her childhood friend. Still, it'd be rude to do otherwise so instead she just smiled. "Hmm... I'll leave the answer to Diana."
"Right!" cried Diana as she took over and wrote her name.
After a few more moments, Elsie spoke up, "Well, let's see everyone's answers!"
Tsukiyo: Vulcan
Kanon: Diana
Tenri: Diana
Shiori: Minerva
Yui: Mars
Ayumi: Mercury
"Wah! Tenri-san's writing is amazing!" Elsie pointed out as she looked over all the answers. Tenri's in parctiuclar was written in a beautiful English Cursive font.
"Eh, um...that's because Diana wrote it." answered Tenri honestly. She almost shrunk back on how everyone else had turned to her .
"Everyone wrote themselves in a way," said Elsie, "besides Kanon."
"Oi Kanon! Why am I the only one whose name wasn't written!" complained Apollo from her position in the mirror. Kanon just sighed, seeing what everyone else did.
"Hmm...I wonder if I should have written Apollo anyways."
"Nakagawa-san, you're certainly knowledgable about things aren't you." nodded Diana, approving of the idol's answer.
"Diana, we don't have the answer yet." whispered Tenri back but Diana didn't seem to have heard her as she addressed someone else in the room.
"What about you, Vul-nee-sama? I thought you weren't feeling confident."
"That's true." agreed Vulcan before sighing. "Well, I didn't think Tsukiyo wanted to write another name."
"Ah! I felt the same way." agreed Ayumi. "It's kind of hard to not write Mel's name. You kind of want to support her, right?"
"Yes! I'm confident in my answer too." nodded Yui. Mars smiled in her mirror, their confidence matching.
"I...I also wanted to write that girl." murmured Shiori. Minerva sat next to her with a book covering her face. She didn't need a mirror compared to the other girls, projecting herself outside.
"OK!" Elsie turned to the monitor showing Keima's face. "Let's see what was the correct answer! Hakua, if you could?"
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"Well, the first question, right?" Hakua held up her list of questions, not that she hadn't memorized it yet. "Ignoring their hosts, who is your favorite goddess?"
"Hmm...Minerva."
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"Acha!" Kanon snapped her fingers. "So it was Minerva-san."
"Keima-kun answered immediately too." noticed Yui. The boy seemed to have only given it a second's thought.
Apollo creased her brows in wonder. "Still, I couldn't believe it'd be Minerva."
"Eh? Eh?" The goddess in question looked just as surprised, her eyes wide in shock.
"Umm, congratulations?" Shiori patted the small goddess next to her. 'So it was Miverva that he liked? Is it because she's like me? Or that she's always together with me...W-what am I thinking!?'
However, Minerva couldn't enjoy such a headpat as Diana had immediately switched again with Tenri, a halo appearing over the girl's body, to question her sister. Her eyes were sharp enough to cut through steel and it didn't help that she was sitting next to them. "Minerva! What is the meaning of this?"
"Aw, I don't know!" was Minerva's only reply as she hid in Shiori's shadow, putting her host between herself and her sister.
Next to Minerva, Mars was nonplussed, just curious, as she stroked her chin. "I wonder why Katsuragi would prefer Minerva."
"I know, I know! I saw everything even when I was asleep." yelled out Apollo. No doubt if she could have, she'd be raising her hand. "It's because she always holds his hand and sits on his knees. There's been many opportunites for skinship."
"I didn't know that!" complained Ayumi from her seat.
"It's because you were the last to awaken, Ayukawa-san." replied Diana before turning a glare back to Minerva. "Moreover, Minerva, please explain yourself! Were you seducing Katsuragi with such charms?"
"Nee-sama's scary..."
"What did you say?"
"Aw!" Minerva hid behind Shiori once more.
"Diana...maybe you could calm down a little?" asked Tenri, trying to sooth her friend. It did help a little as the goddess switched back with her.
"Ah! I got it!" Mars hit her palm with the bottom of a fist. "Maybe Katsuragi likes younger figures more."
"So he's that "Lolicon" thing?" Kanon tilted her head at Apollo's reflection. Just when did her friend learn such a word?
"Younger figures you say?" spoke up Vulcan as she levitated Luna above her host. "If so, then Tsukiyo now has the best advantage!"
"...Vulcan? What are you saying perhaps?" asked Tsukuyo, most definitely rhetorically from how her smile didn't reach her eyes.
"Ah, no...nothing." Luna floated back down, the voice from the doll shutting up.
"Sisters, calm down." spoke up Mercury, holding back a yawn. "Let's just ask for his reasons."
"You're taking this pretty well." Ayumi pointed out which got a lazy shrug from her friend.
"I don't really care if I'm not liked.
"I want to ask too..." agreed Minerva, hoping the coast was clear so she could get back on her seat.
"Yes! I'd like to ask that man's reasons!" Diana emphasized her words with a fist slamming on a reflected table.
"I understand." Elise nodded to the three, then turned back to the monitor. "Hakua!"
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"Eh? I should ask why? Katsuragi, why did you choose Minerva?"
"Why? Do you want me to explain the order?"
"Order?"
"That's right. The first ones I eliminated were Diana and Vulcan because I can't play games when they are nearby
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"Well, I didn't want to be liked anyways." admitted Vulcan hearing his words. She did agree that she wouldn't allow him to play games if he wanted to be close to Tsukiyo. Her host deserved everyone's full attention. "What a useless man."
"If you have time to play games, then you use that time to go on a date with Tenri." Diana complained, crossing her arms. "I'm going to provide divine punishment to that callous man later."
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"Next, would be Apollo and Mars. I can play near them but since they're noisy I can't concentrate on my games.
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"That's true." Kanon agreed with a sigh. She loved her friend but Apollo was...well... Apollo. There was rarely a moment of peace.
"Kanon?!"
"Hmm, now that I think about it..." wondered Yui. She never really had any problems with Mars except when the goddess would do all nighters. though there was that gambling streak of hers...
"Y-yui?!"
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"So all that remains is Mercury and Minerva. They're both pretty quiet but Minerva can create barriers so my gametime wouldn't be interrupted by Diana." Keima nodded to himself as he finished his reasoning. "So, Minerva it was."
"...you really only think about games." Haqua's deadpan stare was returned with Keima's own blank one.
"Of course, I'm the Capturing God."
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"Actually, making barriers is one of my specialties." confessed Mercury. Most of her spells needed barriers to work in the first place.
"Have you shown it to Katsuragi before?" Ayumi asked her friend. Mel was generally quiet besides the occasional introspective words so she could agree with Keima's observations.
"...No."
"...I wonder if I should confine Shiori in a barrier with him?"
"W-what are you saying!?" Shiori lightly bopped the tiny girl on the head with her board, her face red. A light "Aw" was heard as Minerva rubbed the top of her head.
"That's never happening!" yelled Diana but before she could say anything further Elsie blatantly coughed to get everyone's attention once more.
"In any case, that's the end of the first question and Shiori is the only one who gets the point!"
Tenri sighed, hoping that Diana would calm down in the suceeding questions. If the first question was like this, how bad were the following 499?
LINE
"Question number 14" Elsi turned to the monitor. "What is Kami-niisama's favorite sweet?"
"Haha! I'm confident I can answer this one." proclaimed Yui as she immediately started writing down on her board. The other girls did the same, only silently.
"Hmmm...I wonder if this is okay?" Ayumi tilted her head at what she wrote, slightly unsure. She hadn't really seen Keima eat that much sweets now that she thought about it.
"Okay, boards up!"
At Elsie's words, everyone showed their boards.
Tsukiyo: Scone
Kanon: Chocolate
Tenri: Not good with Sweets.
Shiori: Cookies
Yui: Cake
Ayumi: Taiyaki
"We've got different answers from everyone!" Elsie made her way through the girls to ask them about their answers.
"Tenri! You didn't writing anything!" Diana pointed out in alarm.
Tenri frowned, bowing her head unsure. "But...Keima-kun, isn't good with sweet things so I can't really imagine anything."
"Really?" spoke up Yui. "When we went to eat out on a date once, he wouldn't stop eating cake."
"He wanted to eat some grilled Taiyaki when we were heading back once." answered Ayumi. Although, she didn't remember what flavor he got but most people got it sweet, right?
"I don't remember either times." Elsie pouted before turned to the other girls. "What were your reasons?"
"If I wanted to have tea, I'd prepare scones."
"He doesn't seem to have the image of eating sweets so maybe bitter chocolates would work?"
"I don't think there are people who dislikes cookies..."
"All good answers!" nodded Elsea. "Well then, let's take a look!"
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"Next, what're your favorite sweets?"
"Sweets?" Keima shook his head, a grimace on his face. "I hate sweets."
"That's your answer? Not even the one you like the least?"
"Nothing comes to mind. If it was my least liked, I'd say ramen."
"...Ramen?"
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"Tenri, you did it!"
"Yes...thank you, Diana."
"Hmmm, but I remember he really liked cakes at that time" Yui pouted as she remembered a previous date with Keima. Seeing her friend in doubt, Mars gasped in rage.
"Could that man have lied to Yui? Unforgivable!"
"Ah, no, it's fine, Mars. Keima-kun was still quite uncooperative during that date." Yui held her hands up to placate her war-loving friend. In fact, she was the one who had pointed out the cake smogosboard in the beginning. "That he ate all of it even though he didn't like sweets surely showed his love!"
"He does do things for us that normally wouldn't fit his character." agreed Tsukiyo. It was odd to think someone who called themselves God to allow themself to become a servant.
"Keima-kun is kind." nodded Tenri, an odd sort of finality in her voice.
The rest of the girls also nodded as they tried to remember the time they spent with him. Who was the real Katsuragi Keima? Was the one they interacted with really him?
"Well, if you think about it." Kanon spoke up, a finger in the air. "This is the chance to know the real Keima-kun, right?"
"That's right!" agreed Ayumi. If she were being honest, that was the one thing she wanted to do the most after the confusion that was the Mai High Festival.
"...the real Katsuragi-san." Shiori reached down and pulled out the notebook she used for writing stories. On the top, she then wrote "Katsuragi Keima" followed by "Doesn't like sweets."
Seeing this, most of the others followed suit.
LINE
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"I was born on June 6th." answered Keima. "It's been only profile questions for a while now."
"That's right." nodded Haqua. What Keima seemed to be referring to was that the last few questions were things one would find on a physical profile of the boy such as Blood Type, Height, Eye color, Name of mother, Address, etc.
"Really," Keima sighed. "If you wanted to know such things then ask Elsie! She should know these kinds of things you could memorize right?"
"Even if you tell me that..." Haqua just shrugged, half in agreement that Elsie could just write down those answers, half in doubt that Elsie would remember such things.
Even so...
'I'll be sure not to forget that date!'
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"So, only Tenri was the correct one this time again, huh?" Elsie's announcement had all the girls drop their boards to pick up their pens. The devil raised an eyebrow at the action. "What are you guys doing?"
"So we won't forget..." replied Shiori as she wrote down the correct answer on her notebook as did all the other girls besides Tenri.
"...Wait, what was Katsuragi's favorite food?" Ayumi looked down on her hastily jotted notes, more flustered than any run could get her. From her mirror, Mercury lazily opened one eye. "That was two questions ago, Ayumi."
"On June 6, I should invite Keima to a tea party." said Tsukiyo as she wrote down her notes with an underline for that new piece of information.
"I should ask Okada-san to give him a CD~"
Hearing the plans of the other girls, Yui couldn't help but pout. She too wanted to do something like that with this new info as well, of course. The problem being "Ah! Now everyone knows it too!"
Seeing all the others work so hard, Diana couldn't help but feel slightly uncomfortable. While she was confident in Tenri, it was still on odd feeling how everyone but her was writing things down.
"Are you okay? I mean it used to be that only Tenri would know such things..."
"Me? I'm fine."
"But..." Diana pointedly shifted her gaze to the others but Tenri just smiled, shaking her head.
"I'm just happy everyone gets to know more about Keima-kun."
"Tenri..." Diana's sigh turned into a smile. Her host really was amazing. Even though she had loved Keima the longest, as well. That Katsuragi really didn't deserve her.
"Ayumi, your notes got his blood type wrong too." Mercury pointed out once more much to her host's fluster.
"Eh!? No way!"
LINE
"For the 48th question, What is your highschool nickname?"
"Ah..." For the first time since the game began, Tenri actually looked stumped as she furrowed her brows, thinking. "I go to a different school so..."
Tsukiyo and Yui sighed, as well, knowing they too were part of different classes. Thus the attention was put on the two that were actually Keima's classmates.
Ayumi turned to the idol, a person she kept forgetting was actually her classmate. "I know it but what about Kanon-san?"
"Let's see..." The idol tried to remember if she knew something like that. It's not like she attended class that much anyways. "If it's something special, I wouldn't really know."
"Hoh?" Yui smiled cheekily. "I wonder it seems Ayumi-san has an advantage this time."
"That's good." Mercury's tone sounded almost relieved. "There's a chance that we'll get be the only one to get it, right?"
"You never know." spoke up Apollo. "The point is guessing what the human would say, not the correct one. It's possible he wouldn't know himself."
"That's right!" Mars interjected. " It's not too early to give up, Yui!"
"Show your answers!"
At Elsie's command, all the boards were raised.
Tsukiyo: Keima
Kanon: Katsuragi-kun
Tenri: Keima-kun
Shiori: Katsuragi
Yui: Katsuragi-san
Ayumi: Otamega
Everyone's eyes were on Ayumi's board which held a name that wasn't even Keima's own.
"That's what they call Keima-kun?" asked Tenri, tilting her head. That was actually the first she'd heard of the name.
"Now that I think about it." Yui folded her arms, nodding. "I think I've heard Chihiro call him that too..."
"Um...Can I ask what it means?" Shiori actually raised her hand to ask although it was just around face level
"Well..." Ayumi looked away slightly uncomfortable, slightly shifting in her seat. It wasn't even really a nickname, more of an insult. She looked to the side as she explained what the it meant. "Katsuragi's always playing games so it's a combination of otaku and megane. Ota-Mega."
"I don't know why but..." Tsukiyo didn't finish her sentence, instead opting to rub her shoulder. In a way, she too had experienced that kind of thing when she had still isolated herself.
"Well," Kanon pursed her lips. She too knew exactly what kind of label that was. It reminded her of her pre-idol days. "I don't think it's a really good nickname."
"That's right! I think it's a wonderful nickname." It seemed Yui was the only one who liked it, nodding to herself.
"Haha..." Ayumi rubbed the back of her head awkwardly. "Well, he doesn't seem to care anyways.
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"What is your highschool nickname?"
"Highschool? Wouldn't that be the kind of question you'd ask at a reunion decades later?"
"Well, you're still a highschool student, so what are you normally called?"
"Hmm..then it's simply God."
"...eh?"
"In class, I'm called either a gamer or Otamega..."
"Then shouldn't that be fine?"
"But that's only people in my class, right? If that's the case, then it'd be better to ask that question on a larger scale where the answer is simply God."
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"...and so everyone is wrong."
"What! That's the first I've heard of something like this!" Ayumi banged her table as Mercru sighed in disappointment, shaking her head.
"So people in his class really do call him Otamega..." spoke Shiori. Now that she thought about it, she had heard of such a name before.
"I'm more surprised he knows about it." confessed Tsukiyo. Back then, she had just ignored everyone so she was surprised Keima was conscious of such a nickname.
"Is it no good, Elsie?" asked Ayumi. Her friend turned around, pulling out what looked to be a thick manual. After a few moments of browsing, she faced Ayumi once more, her face betraying her nervoisness.
"Well...After all, the rules say it really only counts what Kami-niisama said." The devil bowed. "I'm sorry, Ayumi-san!"
The runner slumped down on her desk. Her only reprieve being that at least no one else got it.
"It seems Keima-kun wouldn't care what you called him." Tenri smiled at that fact. It was very much like him, to only care about his games.
"Outside his class, he's called God. You know anything, Mars?" Yui shifted her gaze to the mirror where her friend could only offer a shrug.
"But...who would call him that." Shiori tilted her head. Already, 50 different book titles on religion popped into her head.
"Ah, I think I know." This time it was Elsie's turn to explain. "There was once a TV program about Kami-niisama-"
"Eh!? Keima-kun also made his TV debut?!" Kanon leaned forward her desk, in surprise. She'd like to think she'd have heard of it.
"Well...not exactly."
Elsie then went to explain the special she had discovered on TV one day about the changing landscape of games thanks to Keima's prowess and website. The girls were surprised that Keima was able to do such a thing as they listened intently.
"..and that's how the site of Kami-niisama moves the world!"
"I never knew..." breathed Tsukiyo, one hand covering mouth. Even though it didn't really seem possible, for some reason she felt Keima's gaming obsession could actually do such a thing.
Whether that was an insult or not was another matter
"I don't know anything about games, but I guess that's pretty amazing." As someone who regularly joined competitions, Ayumi could, at least, appreciate Keima being in the lead of something.
"If you don't play games, it's hard to follow..." added Shiori even if she promised herself to read a few more books on video games whe she came back.
"It seems he did refuse to go on TV." said Tenri. Her childhood friend always did seem the type to be unconcerned for such things.
Yui nodded to herself, resolute to do something. The Guidou family did have such connections, after all. Might as well use them. "Alright, I'll look for the program and bring him onto it next time!"
"I'll also ask around!" offered Kanon. She was sure Okada-san would at least know of such things.
Later, a meeting would be held for Keima to have his TV debut. (Note: In the end, the person in question didn't bother to show up.)
LINE
"The 64th question, What is the name of the game console you always carry around?"
"Ah...that flat guy...?" Shiori, of course, was referring to the thing Keima always seemed to lug around. Next to her, Minerva tilted her head.
"He's always playing with it in class." Ayumi swore she's even seen him use it in the pool.
"That's the thing that he keeps using even when he's speaking to Tenri." harrumphed Diana. She didn't really understand mortal inclinations.
"He also has it when he's with Tsukiyo." agreed Vulcan as Tsukiyo tried to remember the name of the device, as well. All she knew was that Keima always had this strange picture on it.
"Ah!" Mars suddenly exclaimed. "Could it be that machine that holds such games? I have yet to defeat that man's high scores!"
"Eh? You play as well Mars-san?" asked Ayumi. It seemed odd to think a goddess would play games not to mention lose to Keima's scores.
Yui chose to answer after a small laugh. "Well, Keima-kun left some of his consoles back at my place. Mars seemed to have gotten addicted to it."
"We got this one!" exclaimed Mars, confident.
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"What is the name of the game console you always carry around?"
"It's called a PFP, Play Field Personal."
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"So four people got it correct!"
"Good..." Shiori sighed in relief. Thankfully, she had come across books that went over the development of gaming consoles. There were others athat had also come across the development of gaming but they weren't as recent.
"Good job, Tenri" Diana smiled with pride while her host returned a bashful expression.
"Aww, I thought we'd be the only ones to get it." Yui outed as she lowered her board back down.
"I'm surprised you knew, Kanon-san." admitted Ayumi.
"Well, actually, I had my own game released." answered the idol much to the others' shock. She had also bought the thing back then and played her game on it a little.
"...I bet Keima has it." Tsukiyo shook her head as she wiped her board clean once more. She wouldn't have been surprised.
It was a shame she had gotten it wrong by one letter. The blonde swore it was "PSP".
Mercury looked down on her host's answer. "...By the way, Ayumi, what is NES?"
"I can't help it! That's the only one I knew!" Ayumi blushed as she hurried to erase her answer.
LINE
"Question 83! What do you think about Elsie...W-what is this?!" Elsie's cheerful announcement turned into a question midway with her cheeks glowing pink.
"Weren't you the one who made the questions, Elly?" wondered ayumi, seeing her friend's surprise.
"I got some help from Haqua...I mean, my friend from Hell." answered the devil, remembering that not everyone had been introduced to her friend.
"Still...is it okay to go through with this problem?" asked Kanon. Maybe, the girl wouldn't be able to take the truth
"It's fine! Let's go through with it!" assured Elsie, as she pumped both her hands. Even though she was the host, she steeled herself to hear the answer. She too needed to show her resolve to her kami-niisama!
"Everyone, raise your boards!"
Tsukiyo: Important family
Kanon: Younger sister
Tenri: Important partner
Shiori: Buddy
Yui: Cute sister
Ayumi: Important sister
After reading everyone's answers, Elsie's eyes watered, tears falling like waterfalls. "Uuu...Everyone is so nice...I'm so happy!"
"Don't celebrate yet." warned Ayumi, seeing how her friend was practically jumping up and down in joy.
"Indeed."Tsukiyo nodded. "Keima hasn't said anything yet."
"Right!" Swallowing her resolve, Elsie turned to the monitor. "Let's hear the answer!"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Hey, what do you think of you, Elsie? "
"Elsie?"
"Who else?"
Keima actually took a moment to think about his answer, his gaze turning up above before going back down to Hakua.
"As a little sister, she's the sweet type while as a devil, she's pretty weak. She at least does what I tell her to do but besides that she's fairly useless.
"Oy." Hakua glared back at Keima. "Is that really something you should say?"
"But that's the truth." Keima blinked, his face showing no lies. "I mean, how many times have I had problems with her weird cooking..."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"..."
Downstairs, what was once filled with energy was now filled with depression. Elsie sat by the corner pouting, her arms wrapped around her legs. None of the hosts really knew what to do and could only stare awkwardly at the depressed sight.
"Elsie-san?"
"... Umm...are you okay?"
Tenri and Shiori were ignored as the girl turned to them from her position, lip trembling. Her eyes went over each answer, glassy.
"Uuuu...I-I see everyone was wrong..."
"Well, he did call you sweet. Or at least your character as a little sister." pointed out Tsukiyo. That sounded like a compliment...probably.
"But we're not even related by blood." moaned Elsie, her head bowed. "And I'm always relying on him when we capture souls..."
"I'm sure you're working hard , Elsie!" Yui smiled, while giving the girl a thumbs up. She could recall how the girl was kind to her back then too. "You were really helpful when back then!...ah! And now as well!"
"Yes!" Kanon jumped in. "I heard you did a great job as my replacement when I was stabbed! Even Okada-san took notice!"
"You just have to teach that brother of yours your merits as your little sister." Ayumi finalized it with a reassuring smile. She knew that Keima truly cared for Elsie, remembering how he had wanted to cheer her up.
"Right!" Hearing all their words of encouragement, Elsie stood up straight, determination flowing through her. By this point, she'd already forgotten everything Keima had said earlier."I'll have to do my best to be recognized by Kami-niisama!
And like that, the mood was back with the goddess hosts cheering on the devil.
LINE
"Now for the 100th question! We're one fifth done, everyone!"
"So there are still four hundered left..." Tenri murmurred. She hadn't really expected this thing to go so long but at least she was having some fun.
"...It's very long." Shiori agreed. Next to her, Minerva's read book pile had already become quite tall.
"Ah, but it's not really boring," pointed out Yui. "I wouldn't have expected to learn so much about Keima-kun."
"Well, that's cause Katsuragi answers quickly. He's pretty cooperative." Ayumi folded her arms, leaning back on her table. She spotted at the corner of her eye Mercury waking up from her upteenth nap.
"Then let's keep going for the rest of the questions!" For Kanon, the day was actually pretty fun. She rarely had a chance for day-offs so being able to learn more about the boy she loved plus have fun with girls her age was perfect.
"So what's the next problem?" Tsukiyo turned to Elsiea, lowering the tea cup in her hand. If there was one thing she didn't mind about this, it was that the tea was surprsingly deliscious.
"Question 100! [Who have you kissed the most?]"
Finally, another bomb-like problem had dropped. A tense air filled the room once more as the girls thought about the latest question.
"So it's the number of...k-kisses..." Shiori felt her face heat up just saying the word. She raised the board to her face, covering it.
"But everyone has been kissed at least once, right?" pointed out Kanon. The professional smile on her face spoke on her acting skills though her cheeks still tinted pink.
"I wonder..." Yui scratched her cheek. When she thought about it, wasn't she the one who was doing the kissing, not Keima? Would he count that? "Would it count if you're the one who kisses him?"
"L-like I would know!" Ayumi stuttered, feeling like her face was on fire.
"Even though he has Tenri...that man..."
"But, if he doesn't, Keima-kun will die..." Tenri tried to calm down her friend even through through the heat she felt on her face.
"Even though it isn't a nice feeling, Keima at least did it for others." Tsukiyo said, crossing her arms with a small frown. She wanted to admonish him more but then remembered how she was the one who had initiated their latest kiss.
Seeing as their hosts were too flustered to think about an answer, the Goddesses took a chance to speak up. While most of them weren't too interested in the man known as Katsuragi Keima, the game itself had captured their attention.
"Well, the question is not who has he kissed, but who he has kissed the most, right?" brought up Mars. "However, how could such a thing be known?"
"So it's the one who's received the most love then?" asked Apollo, tilting her head. "Could it be another of those game characters?"
"...Maybe, it doesn't have to be on the lips?" Looking up from her book, Minerva gave her two cents on the matter which had everone else nodding.
"I wouldn't put it past him to kiss that console of his." chimed in Vulcan. Although, if she were being honest, she wished Tsukiyo kissed Luna's forehead more often.
"He doesn't even have to answer the question honestly." pointed out Mercury, which was the biggest nuance of the game. While it did seem Keima was speaking honestly, it wasn't really part of the rules that he had to.
"It looks like even the goddesses are getting used to to the game! Now then, let's see everyone's answer!"
Tsukiyo: Mother
Kanon: Mother
Tenri: Mother
Shiori: Mother
Yui: Elsie
Ayumi: Mother
"Wow! Everyone has the same answer besides...Y-Yui-san! W-what are you writing!" exclaimed a blushing Elsie, her fingner pointing wildly at the drummer's board.
Yui just blinked before giving a shrug. "I thought you guys were family?"
"W-wrong!" cried the devil, sounding more upset at herself than the actual answer. "We haven't even done it once!"
Kanon giggled. "It seems most of us thought of the same thing, correct?"
"Well, yeah." Ayumi looked away, slightly bashful. "I mean, it counts for me, as well."
"It does seem to most likely" sighed Tsukiyo as Shiori nodded silently.
"Well, I think it's Okaa-sama is the most likely too!" agreed Elsie. "Now then, let's hear the answer!"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"The next question is...Who have you kissed the most?"
"Kiss?"
"Just answer the questio! N-not that I want to hear it or anything..."
"...it's probably that girl."
"Don't tell me it's a character from a game..."
"No, even compared to games, that girl was excessive. Only a girl from the real could've been like that. Kurakawa Akari-sempai."
"Wait, that one from the biology club that we couldn't find?"
"That one."
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The air of Cafe Grandpa was frozen as silence skated through the floor, bringing along with it a tense awkwardness. For a moment, all of the girls glanced at each other, as if confirming the others names once more.
It was then than Ayumi said what was on every human and goddess' mind. "Who?!"
"She's...not part of us..." whispered Kaonon, her hands to her chest.
"She's apparently from an upper year." Shiori tried to recall someone like that but drew in a blank. At least she knew that this person didn't visit the library.
"Hey Elsie! What kind of person was she?" asked Yui.
"Akari-san? Let's see..." the girl tilted her head as she thought about it, then thought about it some more, until. "Now that I think about it, I actually don't know what kind of person Akari-san is."
"So even his sister doesn't know..." Tsukiyo covered her mouth with a hand, a slight hum coming from her lips as she tried to think what such a person would look like. "You never saw her?"
"Actually, I haven't met Akari-san even once. It was all Kami-niisama." Elsie shamelessly rubbed the back of her head. "The response for her lost soul was lost after some time."
"Aren't you guys always together?" pointed out Ayumi which got Elsie to shake her head.
"At that time, I was studying for a test with you guys,"
Tsukiyo couldn't help but drop her face to her palm. "This is a demon?"
Tenri raised her hand. Even she couldn't admit that she wasn't a little curious. "Elsie-san, why don't you ask Keima-kun?"
Everyone else agreed with Tenri's suggestion which got the little devil talking once more.
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"Akari was...odd. The reason we kissed so much was because of her eccentricities. Normally, one kiss was all it takes but it didn't work for her and her route continued before abruptly ending. Now that I think about it, it's possible she never had a runaway spirit to begin with."
"Are you really saying that just because she didn't fall for you when you kissed her she had no chance to have a runaway spirit?"
"Yes! A kiss is meant to be the ending of a route and yet that kiss demon wasn't satisfied! How rude, honestly." Keima nodded to himself. "Also, when Ayumi's goddess woke up, she appeared with some other devils and knew about Vintage. I asked Nora and she said the only one who was close to her description was a Rimyuel."
"W-wait! You mean that Rimyuel"
"What is she some famous devil?"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Thud.
"Rimyuel-neesama...?" whispered Elsie as her microphone dropped on the ground. Her arms were slack and her eyes were wide open, stuck on the monitor.
"...eh?"
"Nee-sama?"
"Elly, is she your sister?"
"Nee-sama...Nee-sama..." Ignoring everyone else while mumbling to herself, Elsie made her way upstairs.
"...she left." Tenri had a bad feeling with how the normally cheery girl's body swayed back and forth as if she some sort of spectre.
Tsukiyo turned her gaze to the ceiling. "Did she go to Keima?"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
"...Wait, Katsuragi! This is bad!"
"Hmm? Anything wrong?"
"You see, that person is Elsie's-" "Kami-niisama no baka!"
With a loud smash, the door of the room was kicked open and Elsie leapt forward, a large red hammer in one hand. The chair broke under her force as she jumped on Keima. Haqua yelped in surprise.
"E-elsie? Weren't you down stairs?"
"You idiot! Why haven't I been told about this?!" Bang. Bang. Bang.
Haqua was promptly ignored as Elsie smashed Keima's face in with her large rubber hammer, tears in her eyes.
"Elsie! Get off me!" was Keima probably would've said if his face wasn't being continuiously being hit.
"Elsie! Let's calm down!"
"Idiot! Idiot! I'll kill you then I'll kill myself after!" Bang. Bang. Bang.
"Don't joke about that!"
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The hosts watched Keima's punsihment in silence. At first, they waited for the girl to finish but it didn't seem like Elsie had any plans on stopping. Strangely, even Haqua didn't look like she'd be able to stop the girl.
The first to stand up was Ayumi, one hand shaking through her hair.
"Really, what is she doing?" When she next opened her eyes, they were blood red. One side of her bangs grew longer, now silver hair covering her right eye.
"We can't continue without Elsie-san after all." Kanon nodded as red markings appeared on her face.
"Yes...I'd like if we could continue." Shiori whispered to herself as her body shrunk while her hair grew longer, past her waist.
"Before that, we should calm those two down." While gold became crimson, Tsukiyo clasped her hands together, as if praying. Above her, Luna hovered protectively.
"That's right! It'd be bad if Keima-kun dies." Yui jumped to her feet as her hair became light blonde, the ends slightly curling.
"We have to help Keima-kun! Diana, lend me your power!"
"While, I'm somewhat unwilling, I understand your concern. Really, you're too good for him, Tenri."
Diana opened her sharp eyes and turned her gazes to her sisters. In a way, it was also that man's ability that she was reunited with all of them so she supposed she needed to help him out.
He'd better go on a date with her-Tenri for this!
Together, goddesses went up to the stairs to help a devil stop another devil from killing a god.
It really wasn't the Almagemachina one would think.
AN: I reread Kaminomi on a whim and then reread it again and again and again. Needless to say, I kinda wanted to do something so I went to pixiv and found this gem of a fic worth translating/adapting. There are still two more chapters which I'll do as well though the author never got to the 500th one.
I've said this before but I definitely hate having more than two people be in a room. This was all originally in script form but we know how CU feels about that... Anywyas, I tried.
Send in questions you want asked in reviews and I'll try to answer them as well. It's obvious that it won't really be 500 questions but I'll do my best to include everything that could lead to something fun. Nothing like "Do you love X" please.