Names
The names they call out are never that of each others. To do so would be a travesty, almost a betrayal to the other, and they had an unspoken agreement between them never to mention it. Nothing would really fill up the gaping hole in their hearts, but a temporary, albeit futile stab, at temporary reprieve never hurt anyone, and to be honest, who would be there to judge them?
The names they call out are never that of each others, for the ones that they love are no longer there to hear them. It might have been their morbid obsession with the rain that drew them together, the large droplets of water the only thing binding them to a past they would rather, yet never want to, forget.
Unruly golden hair did a good job of shading those startling amethyst eyes from emerald green ones, yet perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing to see them, after all, after the years of guilt at seeing the same color mirrored in a lover.
Alabaster skin, stretched across a face of delicate features. These were nothing like the one he loved, but he could still do a good job of pretending they were. He wishes he could do more, imagine it were someone else, but those painful eyes were like rough hands slapping him back into reality.
Genjyo Sanzo lies often, his duty never a barrier from the untruths that flowed from his lips like water from a fountain, yet the one person he can never lie to is the one person he wishes he could – himself.
They run from tragic pasts like a prey running from its predator, tripping, sliding, falling, but always running, because the very thought of what it would be like when what the fear catches up with them is unspeakable, and so they refuse to think about it.
Suspicious eyes follow them, even as they choose to sit together in the close confines of the jeep, but they are aware that no one would ever question them. The thought is too sordid for others to process.
Deep down inside, they know it is wrong, and some day they would have to pay a price for their mistakes, their foolishness, but the future is the future, and now is now, and pain is a temptation too great to ignore.
They lead pathetic excuses for lives, but they will live on with whatever they've got, because they are still running, running, and to stop would be to be caught.
Sometimes they think they are better off dead, but the uncertainty of how life would be like after their death – especially after taking into consideration their sins - is another topic off-limits.
He took the lives of a thousand demons, washing his self in the blood of all he hated, before the penalty of his ruthless murder stripped away the last of his humanity. Yet his sacrifice was wasted, as he watched the one thing he cared about fall before his maddened eyes.
He might have hidden his guilt under the cover of 'Cho Hakkai', but Cho Gonou would always be there, chasing him.
He hardened himself to a world where he knew no friends, and so treasured the one whom he called a master with a fervor that bordered obsession. Yet the reason of his existence was taken away, killed just before his eyes because of his inability to protect it. He kept the guilt because it reminded him of the need for power, and he kept the pain so he would never again love.
He might have found refuge under the cover of 'Genjyo Sanzo', yet Kouryuu would always be there, chasing him.
They felt nothing towards each other but unnatural tolerance, the one with the fake smiles and laughing façade, the other with a gun and angry snarl at whoever tried to get close to him, would always remain that way, because any change in their relationship could upset the world as they knew it.
They had an unspoken agreement, and they both knew better than to break it.
I was listening to the song 'Name' by Goo Goo Dolls when the inspiration hit me for this story.
Do Review if you think it is good. Constructive comments are welcome too.
Thanks:)
Sher May.