A/N: Inspired by Owl City's song, The Tip of the Iceberg. Written for my humanization AU, info on my tumblr at /spongebobau. Some dialogue credit to the Dexter's Laboratory episode Snowdown.
Welcome back, winter, once again – and put on your warm fuzzy sweater, 'cause you'll feel much better when the snowflakes fall gently to the ground. The temperature drops and your shiversfreeze all the rivers around… But I keep you warm.
"Squidward?"
Snow made the world feel still and silent – silent enough that you were almost able to hear each snowflake touching the ground.
"Shh."
The faint reflection in one of the many windows showed the pair snuggling on the floor of Squidward's obscenely fancy sun room beneath a pile of blankets. One of Spongebob's specialties was building blanket forts, so he'd put half of one together – just enough for them to relax in. They both faced the windows, with Spongebob's back pressed tightly against his partner's chest, Squidward's arms around Spongebob's torso and his knees drawn up to either side of him. A protective, comforting hold. He pressed his nose to soft blond hair, shaking his head. It was quiet time right now. The storm hadn't been anticipated – they'd awoken with a plan to go to the zoo, but were swiftly thwarted by an onslaught of snow. All that said, it wasn't entirely unwelcome. Spongebob had been raring to go have a snowball fight when the first few flakes fell, but his finicky boyfriend absolutely refused to step out into this until at least 2 PM so he could first rest inside for a while. It took all of forty-five seconds of coaxing to get Spongebob to join him.
Though the sun room was well-insulated, it was still a tad chilly, so they'd set out blanket upon blanket for them to burrow under. They'd donned their sweaters and come to admire the wintry landscape before them. Oddly enough, he felt Spongebob shiver despite their toasty layers. "… Are you cold?" Squidward asked quietly, ignoring the fact that he'd just gone against his own instruction to keep the other hushed, to which Spongebob shook his head.
"No…" Squidward wasn't sure he believed that. "… I just wanted to say I love you, is all. And that I like this… It's nice."
"I…" The taller of the two flustered immediately. "… I do too." He was embarrassed by saying such things sometimes, but their relationship was still fairly new so it was to be expected. "… Are you sure you're warm enough?" That question had come out spectacularly lamely, somehow. And was he seriously still talking? He was the one who'd asked for silence! He moved a hand to slide it up Spongebob's chest, rubbing a bit to create some heat.
"Uh huh…" Came the sleepy-sounding drawl. Spongebob shifted and arched into the touch. "You're good at keeping me warm, Squiddy…"
If speed's a pro, inertia must be a con, 'cause the cold wind blows at precise rates when I've got my ice skates on. If all the roads were paved with ice that wouldn't thaw or crack, I could skate from Maine to Nebraska, then onto Alaska and back… 'Cause you keep me warm.
"Am I..?" Squidward could say the same of him. He gazed down at that head of fluffy flaxen hair tenderly – he didn't think he'd ever figure out how things ended up like this, but hell if he wasn't grateful. Spongebob invoked a tingly warmth within him that he'd only felt twice before… And it had taken him far too long to realize the source of the heat. He'd been stubborn, ignorant, selfish, and a whole bunch of other things. He still was, honestly, in many ways. Spongebob helped thaw the iciness of his heart; even if they were both sitting out there in the snow with nothing on, he'd still feel the heat spread all throughout his core. Cheesy, yes. Absolutely. Sickeningly so. But… It was true, and was there shame in admitting that?
Well. Considering who it was with… Yes. To a degree. His past self was consistently appalled with him for his decisions. He knew he had to push past that, though, because he was allowed to enjoy this, no matter how insane it was. He simply focused on being finally thankful that someone truly cared for him with all their heart.
… 'Why' often gnawed at his mind. Why and how? Someone like him was not worthy of this. Not by a longshot.
He could feel Spongebob's breaths becoming increasingly shallow. He did not move his hand from his chest.
Peer over the edge, can you see me?Rivulets flow from your eyes… Paint runs from your mouth like a waterfall, and your lungs crystallize. I'll travel the subzero tundra, I'll brave glaciers and frozen lakes – and that's just the tip of the iceberg; I'll do whatever it takes to change.
Squidward could see himself in the glass – a generally bitter, angry, hateful, ugly shell of a person. A person who didn't deserve someone as radiant as Spongebob, which he now knew for certain. For as much as he pretended to adore himself, most of it was untrue. It was just a cover for the searing abhorrence he felt for every fiber of his being and the terrible insecurity he felt deep within. He had to fake it 'till he made it, right?
He had been glaring at himself for a while now. Part of him wished he'd focus on the snow, but he'd allowed himself to spiral into this instead.
He had to change.
Ever since he had gotten together with Spongebob, he made efforts to improve himself and become a better person. Happiness in his life like this only came about once in a blue moon and he usually ruined it, so he wanted this one to actually last. He didn't feel like he was doing enough, though. He hated himself – to think of all the times he'd hurt someone so utterly, (creepily,) ridiculously devoted to him. He wasn't even entirely sure his mother cared for him as much as Spongebob did, which was kind of a scary thought because she loved him a lot. The whole situation was confusing and absurd and gave him a headache, but… No matter what, now was the time to make things right. Now was the time for reform. Perhaps the old Squidward took sadistic joy in seeing Spongebob cry. The new Squidward couldn't bear it – at least, couldn't bear being the cause. He had a lot of years to make up for – a lot of years of cruelty and heartlessness. He doubted he'd ever really be able to fully atone for it all, but he would absolutely try.
The guilt burned in the pit of his belly. All of the things he'd said, all of the things he'd done, all of the things he'd thought… He'd been in denial for so long, but why? And more importantly, why in the seven seas did Spongebob stick around the entire time? How could he possibly be so in love with someone who always berated him, mocked him, and otherwise treated him like yesterday's trash?
Spongebob was… Something else. He really was.
Squidward had to make things right. He would do anything. Anything for this wonderfully aggravating neighbor-turned-boyfriend of his that had driven him insane for ten years and counting. Whatever it took to keep him happy and safe.
Farewell powdery paradise! We'd rather skate on the thinnest ice! Fingers failed us before they froze, and frostbite bit down on all our toes!
Squidward's introspection was interrupted by Spongebob snorting and thus startling himself awake. He looked down while the other shifted, then kissed the top of his head. "Mm? Everything alright?"
"Whuh… Uh… Yeah… Mm…" Spongebob rubbed at his eye with a sleeve. "Can we go out and play now..? It's past two…" A glance to the clock proved that it was, in fact, past 2 PM, and Squidward did have a promise to keep. The quiet time apparently wasn't doing him much good anyway, considering how he'd fallen into the pit of self-despisal and despair.
"… Alright. But not for too long. Are you sure you're not too sleepy~?" Squidward teased with a smirk. "It is quite cozy and warm here in this lovely fort you've built… Must we really leave?"
"Muh… Yeah, it is cozy, inn'it…" Spongebob caught himself falling back asleep and whined. "Heeeey, wait! Squidward! Don't try to trick me! We can come back and cuddle later! C'mon, let's go outside!" He pulled away to crawl out from the blanket fort, subsequently hopping upright and hustling to put his booties, coat, gloves, scarf and hat on. "Come and get me, Squiddy!" He called to his boyfriend who was lagging behind.
"Alright, alright! Hold your seahorses, jeez!" Getting up, he cracked his back and gave a groan. Spongebob hung around by the door while Squidward donned his own winter clothing.
"You're such a slowpoke! I betchya can't catch me!" Spongebob taunted, promptly dashing out into the wintry wonderland. His high-pitched giggles resounded in his wake. Squidward gasped. How dare he!
"Oh, that's it! You wanna play like that? I'll catch you, alright!" He growled, hurrying to dress himself the rest of the way, and ran out after his partner. Once outside, however, Squidward noticed that Spongebob was… Nowhere to be seen. He paled. Uh oh. That meant—
He yelped as he was hit in the side with a snowball. "AUUGHH! SPONGEBOB!" Cheerful laughter was the response he got – that only served to incense him further. No more Mr. Nice Squid! He could play dirty too! He swiftly found a snowbank to dive behind for protection, and once there, he began to pack snowballs together. His competitive side was showing a little, but Spongebob had started it! After making six snowballs, he cautiously peeked out from behind his barrier. No sight of the little blond imp… Wait! There, across the yard! He could see Spongebob crouched down, back turned to him, likely making more ammo for himself. Perfect… A devilish grin spread across Squidward's face. Time for some payback.
He slowly rose to stalk silently up to his prey. Once close enough, he hurled a snowball with all his might, hitting him square between the shoulderblades. Spongebob cried out in surprise, but before he could get up to run away, Squidward chucked another, cackling. "HAHAHA! HOW'S THAT?!"
"AHHH! SQUIDDY, DOOON'T!" Flailing, Spongebob attempted to shield himself from the assault long enough to find an opening – and in that opening, he retaliated by throwing one at Squidward's chest. The other was thrown slightly off-balance, but he didn't relent.
"Oh no you don't! You're not going to win this, Spongebob!" He panted while gathering up some more snow. Spongebob had enough time to recover in the interim, and, chuckling, scampered over to his snow mound.
"Oh yeeeeah? Watch me! I AM UNDEFEATABLE!"
Realizing the danger he was in, Squidward tried his best to fashion a wall for himself. While he did so, he was pelted at lightning speed with snowballs from his dearest lover. He tried his best to dodge, and once he had something to hide behind, he returned fire. The pair laughed as they played, and it was all fun and games… Until…
Lady Luck blessed Squidward with a perfect shot that crowned him as winner, though by complete accident – he lobbed a powerful snowball that hit Spongebob right in the face. Upon being hit, the blond cried out in anguish, falling backwards.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Fearing he'd actually hurt him, Squidward jumped up and rushed over to Spongebob, who was laying on the ground, crumpled in defeat. "S-Spongebob?! Are you alright?!" He asked, kneeling by his side and propping him up a bit. Spongebob groaned weakly, snow sliding off of his face and hair.
"They… Called me 'Champ…' Back when I had… The gift." He sniffled. "I was a natural from day one… As I grew, so did my skills… In high school, I was untouchable… They were just jealous! Jealous of my powers! FOR I WAS A KING, A FORCE OF NATURE! I WAS THE ULTIMATE SNOWBALL WARRIOR!" He wailed dramatically. "… Then I met you… I was never the same AGAIN!" He then hugged himself, shuddering, eyes squeezed shut. "That… Was the coldest winter ever…"
Throughout Spongebob's theatrics, Squidward stared down at him incredulously. Did the drama ever cease? Rolling his eyes, he unapologetically dropped his boyfriend back into the snow. "Oh boy. Well, former 'Ultimate Snowball Warrior,' I'll leave you to wallow in your defeat. I told you I'd win, and now I'm going to make some hot chocolate before I freeze out here."
"OOF—Squidward, wait!" Of course, he'd only been playing around – he didn't really care that much. He followed after Squidward, dusting himself off. "I want some hot chocolate toooooo!"
Snowdrifts build up and enfold us, as we wait out this winter storm… So we snuggle close in the darkness, and keep each other so warm.
All was well once Spongebob and Squidward warmed themselves up and made some hot chocolate. They returned to their lair in the sun room, made themselves comfortable under the security of the blanket fort, and turned on the television to watch Christmas movies. They'd closed up the fort around the TV so they were encased in relaxing darkness. They'd resumed their position of Spongebob resting with his back to Squidward's chest while the other held him protectively. In between sips and flipping of channels, Spongebob spotted something he liked. "Oooh ooh! Olive the Other Reindeer is on! I wanna watch that one, Squiddy!" He LOVED that movie! Olive was the cutest little worm ever!
"Are you going to cry?" Squidward snickered, kissing the side of his partner's head fondly. He knew the answer to that one.
"N… No! Of course not!"
"Pfffft. Suuure~. Alright then, prove me wrong."
"Hmph..! I will! Just you watch, I won't shed a single tear the entire movie!" Spongebob huffed resolutely, though they both knew that would fall through soon enough.
It had begun to flurry once more; as the snow piled up outside, the pair of lovebirds cuddled affectionately with one another, basking in the shared body heat, enjoying their hot drinks, the movie, and each other's company.
Squidward was bettering himself, one step at a time. He was trying to allow himself to have fun, and trying to allow his heart to be open to the person he cared for. He knew he was incredibly lucky to have him. He didn't want to make Spongebob cry anymore… He'd become a good person for him, and be the best boyfriend ever, hopefully. They'd keep each other comfy and secure this winter. This was only the tip of the iceberg that was their relationship.