Title: Subtle Love
Rating: K
Summary: Lucy laughs about one of her sister's suitors, unaware that someone wishes he could be hers.
Characters: Tumnus/Lucy
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: Don't own; don't sue, si'l vous plait.

The two sisters were as different as night and day, and not only in personality. Susan was the dark, sultry one who had gracefully settled into her queenship and had suitors flocking from everywhere. Lucy was the light, innocent one who still found the title "Your Highness" to be unnecessary, and danced under the moonlight even after her coming of age. It was popular opinion that Susan was the true beauty of the two, which very often stung Lucy so that she would be in a bad humour for at least half the day before a visit with a very special friend would set her to rights. Yes, dear reader, that special friend was none other than the faun Mr. Tumnus, who had been Lucy's very first friend and acquaintance in Narnia. They had been fast friends since the time she first came to be standing under the lamp-post on that snowy winter evening long ago. Now, despite Lucy's role as a queen of Narnia, teatime was spent with Mr. Tumnus and was the source of much conversation between the two. Mr. Tumnus would regale her with snippets of information on happenings in the wide world of Narnia. She always liked to hear how Mr. and Mrs. Beaver were doing best of all. In turn, she told him of the goings on in the castle and another ridiculous suitor of Susan's, the antics of whom would quickly make her jealousy of her sister dissolve.

****

"…And then he got down on one knee and proceeded to recite an awful Calormene poem! Oh, it was all I could do to keep from laughing. Even Peter had a hard time keeping a straight face. All the while, the corners of his mouth kept turning up in a smile and he had to keep putting his hand over his mouth and pretend to look kingly. Oh, it was perfectly dreadful!"

Tumnus let a slight smile grace his own face as he came back to the fireplace where Lucy sat and proceeded to pour them both a cup of tea. He put the cream and sugar in, just the way she liked, and she took a small sip before continuing the conversation.

"I'm thankful that I have not had any suitors like that," she said thoughtfully, peering at him through the steam from her tea that caressed her face. She was curled up in the armchair near the fire with her feet tucked beneath her. Her teacup was nestled delicately between her palms, and a warm, thick quilt was tucked around her shoulders. Her long hair was illuminated by the fire, glowing a reddish gold. It was this sight and her previous words which made something tighten in Tumnus' chest. He masked his troubled expression by burying his face in the steam from his own cup and taking a tentative sip. The taste of chamomile washed over his tongue and warmth rushed a path to his stomach, causing the hand squeezing his heart to loosen a bit. When he looked up again from his tea, he found her clear emerald eyes studying him. He went slightly pink, and was thankful for the firelight, which made all things look somewhat red in the first place. He quickly looked down to stare at his tea, and he could feel when her eyes left him as she then regarded her own tea. There was a moment of silence between the two, and the only sounds were the crackling and popping as the fire devoured the wood in the fireplace and the occasional clink of china. It was Lucy who finally broke the silence.

"You seem slightly quieter than usual, dear Mr. Tumnus."

He shrugged. "I guess I'm just a bit tired. I haven't been sleeping well lately." Lucy's questioning look changed to one of concern, and Tumnus cursed himself for his big mouth.

"Why not? Whatever is the matter?" She set her tea down and looked straight at him.

"Oh, it is nothing. There are times when my mind becomes so full of thoughts that it cannot calm down enough for me to sleep. I'm fine. Truly I am." He gave her a reassuring smile. Silence descended upon them for yet another moment.

"You know, there are times I cannot help but feel sorry for Susan," Lucy murmured quietly. Tumnus' head snapped up to look at her and she smiled sadly at him. "Yes, I feel pity for her almost. She's been in such a hurry to grow up that she has forgotten how to be young at heart. She smothers herself with so much perfume, and so has forgotten the sweet scent of a flower. She has suitors enough to fill all of Cair Paravel, and yet she does not know the true love of only one. There are some ways that I do not envy my sister at all." She heaved a sigh and resumed her quiet sips of tea.

"Why, my dear little Lucy, you have truly grown up!" He realized the forwardness of what he had just said to the Queen of Narnia and blushed. He looked down, so that he didn't see her understanding look and the way her shoulders fell slightly.

"Yes, I suppose I have," she said quietly and evenly. She picked up her tea once more and turned towards the fire. Tumnus looked up again and watched her in silence as she drank the tea now flavoured with her silent tears. He longed to brush them from her cheeks with his thumb, but knew that it could never be possible. Instead, he waited until she had drifted off to sleep, and then gently smoothed away the tears wetting her cheek. Then he carefully lifted her from the chair, carried her into his bedroom and tucked her into the bed, making sure she was well nestled beneath the quilts. He watched her for a bit as she murmured a name softly and incoherently in her sleep and snuggled a bit further under the covers. He gently brushed some hair away from her face and then went back out to put away the tea things and make his own bed on the couch.

****

It was still dark when Lucy awoke. She was disoriented when she first opened her eyes to the gloom, but only momentarily as she took in her surroundings. The crispness of a pillow was beneath her head, and the warmth of several quilts enveloped her, keeping away the autumn chill. She then realized she was in Tumnus' bedroom. She sat up with a start and looked to the other side of the bed, her heart pounding. When she saw that it was empty, she breathed a sigh partly of relief and also partly of regret, though she would not have readily admitted it to anyone.

Well, now that I'm awake, I might as well get up, she thought wryly. She eased herself out of bed and padded out to the den where she found Tumnus sleeping soundly on the couch. She let out a soft "Oh!" before quickly covering her mouth with her hand.

The light was dim now, the fire now only a cluster of dying embers. The smell of wood smoke still permeated the cave and stung at her nose slightly. She carefully crept towards the couch and sank to the floor next to it. The stone of the floor was cool on her palm as she leaned back and used her hand to support herself. There was total silence, so that she could hear the gentle rasp of Tumnus breathing through his barely parted lips. She studied him for a moment, drinking in every feature, every line, every wrinkle and crease. He looked like an angel to her, his expression peaceful. Well, a goat-eared angel, but that was beside the point. His long eyelashes just barely brushed his cheeks, and his brow was slightly wrinkled in some dreaming thought. His silky ears flopped at odd angles, and the sight made her melt. His hair curled gently over his horns and brow, and a curl had escaped and lay upon the bridge of his nose, so she carefully put it back in its place. The rest of his body looked slightly uncomfortable scrunched up on the couch; his legs drawn up slightly and one arm beneath him, the other sticking out, dangling the hand in space. He had nice hands, she decided to herself. They were strong and decidedly masculine looking, yet soft and gentle at the same time. She longed to run her fingertips over the long slender fingers before slipping her hand into his. She wondered if they would fit together well.

As she stared at his mouth, she found herself wanting desperately to brush them with her own. Just the thought gave her goose bumps all over. Her breathing became quicker the longer she stared, and she felt her lips tingling. Maybe just this once; he was sleeping after all, and wouldn't know the difference. She leaned over him and touched his lips in the most tender and gentle of kisses. It only lasted a moment, but it touched her deep, and she drew away shakily, amazed that she wasn't dizzy as well.

"Lucy…" The murmur from Tumnus caused her to freeze. She looked at him and saw that his eyes were still closed. She waited for a bit and then realized that he was still asleep. Her eyes grew wide. He had felt her kiss in his sleep and had spoken her name. She stood up abruptly and made to get away when she was stopped in her tracks.

"Lucy?" She looked back and saw Tumnus looking blearily up at her. She had made too much noise and had woken him up.

"I-I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you," she stammered, looking apologetic and embarrassed. Her heart was in her throat as she watched him sit up, brushing a hand over his eyes.

"It is nothing. Do not worry about it. Is something wrong?" He had noticed her stance and saw how she wrung her hands and his brows knit.

"N-no. Nothing's wrong."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "I don't believe you." He patted next to him on the couch. "Come on. You can tell me about it." She sat, but her hands continued their fidgeting. Tumnus laid his hand over both of hers, and she looked up to see his concerned expression. She looked down at their hands, and promptly burst into tears.

"Oh, I'm such a terrible friend!" she wailed and buried her head in his shoulder. He murmured comforting words to her as she cried, stroking her hair softly.

"You aren't a terrible friend. You're the best friend I have."

"Then I'm afraid you've have a very poor sampling." Tumnus smiled at his own words spoken back to him.

"There's nothing you've done that would make you any less my friend."

"It's not something I've done. It's something I'm doing," she said into his shoulder.

Tumnus put his fingers under her chin and brought her face up so that she was looking him in the eye. Then he took her hands in his once again. "What are you doing?"

"I'm falling in love with you," she said in a tortured whisper, looking downward again.

****

Tumnus was floored. She loved him. Him. Not a son of Adam. Not a prince of some distant land. Him.

"W-what?" he stammered. He knew his jaw must be on the floor, but he couldn't seem to collect himself. And Lucy was still looking at the floor, looking as if she wanted it to swallow her up.

"Lucy, look at me." She looked up at him through those teardrop studded eyelashes of hers, and his heart took a hop, skip, and a jump and would have left his chest if it hadn't been for his ribs. He knew it was unintentional, but it had the effect just the same.

"Why?" She looked puzzled at this, so he elaborated. "Why me and not some foreign prince who would sweep you off your feet? You could have anyone you wanted. I am just a simple faun." He looked down at her hands in his. She drew one away and fingered a curl of his hair.

"But I want you," she said, her voice quiet. She drew away her hand, her fingers brushing his jaw line, making him shiver. The tear that had been glimmering in her eye like a jewel finally fell, making its shining trail down her cheek. Tumnus took his thumb and gently smoothed it away and in one fluid motion moved his hand to the side of her face, cradling it in his palm. Her eyes fluttered closed involuntarily when she felt his soft exhalation against her cheek. He rested his forehead against hers.

"I love you, Lucy Pevensie." Her eyes snapped open, emerald meeting blue in an intense gaze. He saw all the love she possessed held in those two orbs. Then without planning it, or even thinking about it, he kissed her.