Disclaimer: I own nothing but cookie and a pair of 55.00 Tripp pants that are hanging in my closet.
Summary: What do you do if you can't handle it anymore? What do you do if you read letter's you weren't supposed to?
BETA: My beta is wonderful. And her name is Riku-stalker. She is ah-mazing.
Pain and Comfort
Roxas sighed for what seemed like the millionth time in a week. He had just walked back from campus only to find an empty house. The blond set his bag down on a chair at the kitchen table.
"I bet fucking Axel went out with Zexion again. Why the hell are they always talking anyway. Why doesn't he talk to me?" Roxas asked bitterly.
Suddenly Roxas began crying. The tears poured down his face and dripped onto the tile below.
"Why the hell am I crying? He's not ... not worth my te ... tears," Roxas voiced out between the forming sobs.
In his heart he knew he was wrong. He knew he loved the red head so much that it hurt to breath at times. After the tears subsided he walked upstairs vowing never to cry over Axel again. He figured if his so called best friend didn't care to speak to him anymore that he wouldn't mind if Roxas did anything stupid. Of course he might care if Roxas got blood everywhere but oh well, Roxas wouldn't have to deal with the yelling that would follow it.
Axel entered the house he shared with Roxas, Zexion, and Demyx, a grin plastered on his face. The red head immediately headed to the kitchen where he expected to find his best friend working on homework or fixing himself some lunch. Instead of finding Roxas he only found the blond's messenger bag. Axel's ears were greeted with a sadistic, bitter laugh that had sounded form upstairs. He raced up the stairs as fast as his body was capable of and slammed open the door to Roxas' room. Roxas, who had been in the process of cocking a loaded hand gun, looked up.
"Roxas!" Axel exclaimed.
"Go away and leave me the fuck alone!" Roxas sneered while placing the gun against his left temple.
Just as he was about to pull the trigger Axel lunged towards him. The gun went off and the sound rang in their ears. Roxas grunted in pain as he shoved Axel off of him.
"Are you hurt?" the red head asked quietly.
"No, Why the hell did you stop me!?"
Because. Do you think I'd want my best friend dead?!" Axel shouted. "Do you think I want the one I care about most lying in a puddle of their own brains or blood.?"
"Well you sure as fuck haven't cared about me these past few months. You've been ignoring me in favor of Zexion!" Angrily Roxas threw a punch and caught the red head in his jaw.
The powerful punch sent Axel flying onto Roxas' bed. His head hit the headboard with a sickening crack. Roxas panicked when Axel didn't move for a couple of minutes.
"Axel!!" Roxas rushed to aid him. "I'm sorry!! I didn't mean to do it! Wake up, please!" He cried frantically shaking his friend.
"Nngh, "Axel groaned.
"Slowly he sat up with Roxas' help.
"God Axel I am so sorry," Roxas muttered after burying his face in the red locks of his love.
The blond began crying again breaking the vow he made to himself earlier.
"Shh, Rox, it's ok, I'm fine. Besides, it's not me I'm worried about." Axel pulled the younger male into his lap and the blond blushed. "It's you I'm worried about."
To emphasize his meaning the green – eyed hellion nuzzled his face against Roxas cheek. This made the boy blush even harder.
"I t...told you I..I'm fine," he stuttered.
"No you aren't other wise you wouldn't have tried to kill yourself." Axel hugged him tighter. "Now why did you?"
The blond shook his head.
"Tell Rox, please?" Axel begged.
"There are a couple of reasons but there is one in particular."
"What is it? You can tell me, I won't get mad."
Roxas took a deep breath. " Ok.. It'sbecauseIloveyouandyoudidn'tevertalktomeanymoreandthathurtmereallybadlysoIthoughtthatyoudidn'tcareanymoreandnextthingIknewIhadtheguninmyhand."
Axel just kinda blinked confusedly. "Repeat that please?"
"It's because I love you so much and you kept ignoring me. It hurt me so badly and I thought that you didn't care about me anymore. Next thing I knew, killing myself sounded good.:
"God Roxas, how could you ever think that I don't care anymore. In all honesty I love you too and I wanted to tell you. That's why I came home early today. Zexion's been helping me plan it." Axel hugged him.
"Can you pinch me?" Roxas asked.
"Why?" Axel inquired.
"Just do it."
And do it Axel did. Roxas in turn yelped.
"Nope, not dreaming."
Axel laughed and swooped down to steal a kiss. After doing so and when he pulled away Roxas climbed down and picked up the gun. Axel eyed it, acting repulsed.
"Why do you own that thing anyway? You shouldn't."
"It's not mine. I found it in Demyx's room. I almost didn't find it. There were a bunch of letters on top of it." Roxas replied quietly while examining the gun.
"Well go put it back please. I don't like it," Axel said standing up and walking over to him.
"I just thought of something."
"What?"
"Where did the bullet land?"Roxas asked.
"WHY IS THERE A FUCKING BULLET IN MY ROOM??"
"Sounds like it landed in Zexion's room." Axel whispered.
"Oh shit," Roxas said panicking.
Zexion stomped into Roxas' room. "Roxas Mihara! Do you happen to know why there is a bullet in my room?"
"No," Roxas replied hiding the gun behind his back.
"Really? Why are you hiding a gun then?" Zexion's eyes narrowed.
"Ok fine. I tried to kill myself but Axel tackled me and the bullet went astray."
"Where'd you get the gun?"
"Demyx's room."
Zexion's eyes widened. "Why does Demyx have a gun?"
"I don't know. It was pretty well hidden in the back of the closet."
"Show me where you found it," Zexion demanded.
Roxas led the way to their residential sitarts' room. He showed Zexion the back of Demyx's closet. There was a box filled with letters addressed to Zexion.
"Um, can you guys go now?"
The blunette watched silently as his best friends left him alone in Demyx's room. Roxas hesitated at the door.
"Just call me if you need anything."
He nodded. After Zexion heard the front door to the house shut he picked up one of the letters and opened it.
Dear Zexion,
I can't stand you dating him. He's no good for you. I would be so much better! Too bad you hardly notice me. I've bought a gun, no one noticed me bring it into the house. Roxas was being all emo and you & Axel were talking in hushed tones. I should probably hide it from Roxas.
WHY DON'T YOU LIKE ME!!
Demyx Harada
Tears shined in the blunette's eyes as he dropped that one and picked up another letter. Carefully he unfolded it; almost seeming afraid of what it had to say.
Dear Zexion,
I know we just met today but I think I love you. I have seen you around campus but never talked to you. It's too bad you seem cold and indifferent to me. Well I'll just make you notice me.
Demyx Harada
Zexion recognized the day that Demyx was talking about. It was when they had first moved into this house. What he said about Zexion was true back then. He had been rather cold and indifferent to the blond. But that had all changed, he had grown to love the bubbly musician. Zexion eyed another letter and picked it up.
Dear Zexion,
Well, yet again I'm writing you another letter you'll never see. Why do I torture myself? Maybe I should put that gun to use. No! What am I thinking? That could make you view me as a bad person. Augh. What the hell am I going to do?
Demyx Harada
"Jesus. Why couldn't I just tell you? Demy you idiot. I love you." Zexion whispered "Can't you tell that?"
A crashing noise sounded from downstairs. He grabbed Demyx's gun and cautiously suck down to the kitchen.
"Who's there?" He asked in a shaky voice, cocking the gun.
"Holy shit, put that away Zex!! Don't shoot the messenger!" A female cried out.
"Namine?" He questioned lowering the weapon.
"Demyx sent me."
Zexion perked up at the mention of Demyx.
"He wants you to meet him by the old bridge in the park."
"The old bridge?"
Namine nodded, her blonde locks falling from the plait she had them in. With a quick goodbye Zexion left. He ran the entire way there.
"Demyx!" He yelled spotting the blond.
Said blond turned around to him and opened his arms to catch the blunette.
"Demyx! Why didn't you just tell me?" Zexion asked wrapping his arms around the blond.
"What?"
"I read the letters."
"You read my letters?"
"Yeah, well three of them."
"Why'd you read them?" Demyx sounded angry.
"Don't get mad at me. Roxas found them first."
"So he found the gun?" Demyx asked.
"Yeah," Zexion whispered.
"Is he ok?"
"He's fine. Axel caught him in time."
"Well, you still shouldn't have read them," Demyx said. "But I'm glad he's ok."
"They were addressed to me though. If you didn't want me to read them then you shouldn't have written them."
"That's...but...augh. You still shouldn't have read them. Which 3 did you read?"
"The one where you said you'd kill yourself, the one where I was dating Logan and the one where we first met three years ago."
"Him? Which one? I have six letters from then." Demyx spat out the word 'him' angrily.
"The one where you bought the gun," Zexion said quietly.
"Well I'm going to sell it. If you love me I'll never do anything stupid again."
"Good." Zexion leaned up to kiss the blond on the lips. The taller eagerly returned the kiss.
"I'm glad you sent Nami after me," Zexion said.
"Huh? But I thought you sent her to get me." Demyx was confused.
"We did it."
Axel and Roxas stepped out from behind the trees.
"Everyone but you guys could tell you loved each other." Roxas smiled, walking towards them.
"We just wanted everyone to be happy," Axel said moving next to Roxas.
"Thanks I guess," Demyx said.
"Well after this fairly tragic, heart-stopping day, let's go get ice cream and see a movie," Roxas said.
Everyone agreed to that plan.
"Hey Roxas?"
"Yeah Axel?"
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"You owe me a new stereo system Roxas," Zexion said ruining their fluffy moment.