Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who.
Living Like This
"This is what living like this does." Ghost Man on Third-Taking Back Sunday
Her mascara runs thick and black and he has to fight the urge to reach up and brush it away. He can't touch her, but he wants to. She's crying and maybe he is too as she says it and he hears it. "But I love you!"
"Quite right too." He says the words, but in his mind those three are swapped for the three she wants to hear when she fades away and he's back in the TARDIS.
And the words on the tip of his tongue melt away and are replaced.
"This is what living like this does."
He's back on the beach, properly this time. He still can't say it, knows it's not up to him to utter those words anymore. He still wants to. But, he knows if he does, and then he leaves, she'll never move on like she's supposed to. She'll waste her time trying to find a way back to him, and he's almost certain that there's not another way. This is the last time he'll see her.
She leaps at the him that's meant for her, and he turns his back as their lips meet.
Leading the way to the TARDIS, he thinks to himself. "This is what living like this does."
She goes limp in his arms, and it's all he can do just to tuck her head under his. Her body and mind are exhausted, having a Time Lord Consciousness shoved in and ripped back out in a relatively short space of time. She won't remember, he won't forget. He props her up gently, sweeping the hair back from her eyes and sets the coordinates.
And as the Vortex whirls in the background, he whispers to her limp form softly, "This is what living like this does."
He whirls through time and space, stopping and starting on whims. Saving this place, helping that place. Days pass by in blurs, large swatches of color and voices that he shoves into the back of his mind. Every blonde is a hand to hold while his hearts burn. Every red-head a fiery look and unwavering column of support.
And as he steps out once again, running from what he can't forget, it repeats over and over in his mind.
"This is what living like this does."