Nick, Nat and LaCroix do not belong to me. (What a shame...) They have once again been abused by a fanfic author and returned, perhaps even in one piece!
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THE AUTHOR
It had begun as an ordinary day for Natalie Lambert. She had gotten home about 3:30 that morning after a busy night in the morgue. She was the medical examiner for the police department in Toronto.
"Meow." Sidney, her cat greeted her at the door.
"Hello, Sidney. How's my favorite guy?"
Sidney ran to the food bowl. "Meow".
"Okay, let me get my coat off and I'll feed you."
"Meow..." Sidney was determined.
"Oh darn," Natalie told Sidney as she picked up his food sack. "I forgot to get Kitty Krunchies."
"MEOW!"
"How about bacon and eggs, Sidney?"
"Meow?" Sidney ran to the refrigerator and patted the door.
Some of Natalie's friends didn't appreciate Sidney. They were dog people. One had even been so insensitive as to call Sidney a 'stupid cat'.
"Well," Natalie had told him angrily. "How many cats chase cars and drink out of the toilet?" Score one for the feline community.
Natalie placed the bacon on paper towels and put it in the microwave and put the eggs on to cook three minutes and the bread in the toaster.
Sidney ran and jumped onto the table and sat down.
"Sidney, really," Natalie scolded him. "You know better." But Sidney stayed put.
Ten minutes later Natalie and Sidney were eating breakfast. Natalie realized bacon and eggs were not one of the best foods for cats but she was really too tired to go back to the market right now.
As soon as breakfast was over, Natalie took a hot shower and slipped into her fuzzy robe and lay back on the couch. Sidney snuggled in her arms and soon Natalie was dozing.
"Natalie, Natalie, open the door!"
From her sleepy limbo, Natalie heard her name and a horrible beating on her door. But something was making it hard for her to breathe.
She began to cough and her eyes burned, but she didn't seem to be able to wake up. Suddenly, she felt herself being lifted and carried out into the air.
'NICK.' What was he doing there? He had been away on special assignment.
Natalie began to breathe and choked out "Sidney."
Nick Knight looked at her and thought, "Darn Cat." Nick left and rushed back inside although the smoke was so thick you could cut it with a knife.
At least there were very few flames; he quickly located Natalie's cat still on the couch. Nick scooped him up and raced out with the limp cat into the predawn air.
Nick and Sidney weren't exactly friends. Each was jealous of the other, but Natalie loved them both.
Natalie took Sidney, but he didn't seem to be breathing. Natalie began mouth to mouth, or mouth to cat and Sidney began to stir.
Fire trucks were arriving with all their noise and soon the fire was out.
Natalie's apartment had lots of smoke and water damage and she would have to stay somewhere else for a while.
"Nat, you are welcome to stay at the loft," Nick told her.
Sidney eyed Nick.
Natalie eyed Nick.
"Okay, Sidney can come, too."
Nick had been out of town on special assignment for two weeks. As luck would have it, he had arrived back just after 3 a.m. and had drove by Natalie's apartment.
Nick, with his supernatural senses, had smelled the acrid smoke coming from her apartment building. Whether plain luck or divine intervention, Nick was at the right place at the right time to save Natalie and Sidney.
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She sat back from her old manual typewriter and closed her eyes and stretched.
"Is she at it again?"
"I'm afraid so."
"I thought we had stopped her the last time we were here."
She opened her eyes with a start to see Nick Knight and Natalie Lambert glaring at her.
"Is it just you and me, or is LaCroix involved this time?"
"Seems we got here in time to keep LaCroix out of it."
Nick was suddenly reading over her shoulder. He had an amused look on his face.
"Well," Natalie asked, "how bad this time?"
The author faced Nick and Natalie's critical eyes as best she could. "How did you get here?" she asked.
"Don't you realize we have a reputation to uphold? Any time somebody starts controlling our lives we have to make sure we stay close to character."
"What is it this time, Nick?"
"I rescue you and Sidney, and you come live with me."
"That's not too bad."
"You know Sidney hates me."
"Not really, Nick."
"Then why does he shed all over my clothes?"
"He's a cat, Nick. Cats shed."
Natalie moved to a spot directly behind the author to read over her shoulder also.
"Weren't you going to kiss me after you saved me from death, Nick?"
"I don't know. I would sure like to kiss you, Nat."
They both looked questioningly at the author.
"I hadn't gotten that far," she stammered. "I'm still trying to work out the details."
"Kind of rash putting things down on paper and messing with people's lives before you know the ending."
"LaCroix," all three spoke his name at once.
"She hasn't gotten to you yet, LaCroix."
"Well, I was in the neighborhood. The fellow down the street has me doing 'Dr. Jackass and Mr. Hyde' or something on stage. I become a vampire as Mr. Hyde and eat half the audience. Boy, do I have heart burn." He gave an evil chuckle.
Nick and Natalie made room for LaCroix so he too could read over the author's shoulder.
"It could be worse," he told them. "Like the time Nick had to rescue you as you went over that cliff in a wagon on the way west."
"Oh, yeah, the wagon was broke up pretty bad and one of the wagon spokes impaled me. That spot in my shoulder still hurts when it rains." Nick grimaced as he recalled that story.
"How about when she made me Florence Nightingale and the Enforcers showed up and wanted me for breakfast?" asked Natalie.
"What are we going to do with her? We can't kill her. She's no worse than the others and we can't kill them all to stop this madness."
All three advanced on the author with eyes glowing. She felt herself go cold, closer and closer they came.
"You will forget this story," their minds told her. "We weren't here." She felt herself giving into their minds.
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She stretched again. She must have fallen asleep at the typewriter. She looked to see how far she had written her latest story. A clean sheet of paper stared back at her.
"Oh well, here goes then," she thought as she placed her hands on the keys.
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It was almost winter in Korea. There would be lots of long winter nights for the new doctor in the M*A*S*H unit. His papers said his name was 'Hawkeye Pierce,' but in his past life he had been Nicholas DeBrabant...
FINIS?