Ties That Bond
Summary: When Angela's relationship with Shawn takes a turn for the worse she finds comfort and something in the most unexpected person... Jack/Angela
Loneliness
Angela sighed heavily as she sat in the Student Union's library trying to fumble through the novel 1986 that she had been assigned to read and write a 10 page paper for her English Lit class. Usually she had no trouble with finishing book, seeing how she loved to read, but at the particular moment she was having trouble focusing. Problems in her personal life had been casting a dark shadow over her as of lately and she was stricken to find it was starting to affect her studies. Shawn was acting distant, once again, and she was beginning to wonder if she had made the right choice not going to Europe with her father. When she had chosen to stay behind with Shawn instead of joining her father in Europe, her father had been deeply hurt. For the past few weeks she had tried calling him to explain her decision but after getting the answering machine for two months in a row she had stop trying. She realized that he would have to get over his anger before he would even consider talking to her and who knew how long that would be?
The only thing that had bought her comfort about her strained relationship with her father was Shawn. He had been elated that she had chose to be with him. His entire life had been about people leaving him behind. His mother had run off when he was young, and his father had died leaving him an orphan. Most of his anguish had come from some of the abandonment issues he faced. Then when she had chosen to stay behind with him their relationship had changed. Angela smiled to herself as she remembered how attentive and loving Shawn had been those first weeks. They had spent more time together and for the first time he seemed to truly open up to her. She couldn't remember a time they had been had happier. However as quickly as that happiness had set in it had eased out just as quickly . Shawn had mentioned that their relationship was becoming way too "intense" and in his usual fashion he had gotten scared and started avoiding her.
This was her charmed life. Going to school being a straight A student, coming home to herself, and being the casual girlfriend and friend to a man who was utterly confused about what he wanted out of a relationship. Growling frustrated she slammed the book shut pushing it aside, no longer in the mood to read. She thought focusing on school work would block out thoughts of her twisted relationshop when all it did was nag her even more. Fighting back a laugh she realize how pathetic her situation seemed. Shawn wouldn't be caught moping over her. At least not sober. In true "Shawn" fashion he was probably out and about on campus getting drunk.
She smiled sardonically as she listened to the rain patter softly on the windows of the library. All week it had hinted at a rainstorm, but after four days of just humid days and over cloudy nights, even the forecasters were beginning to have their thoughts of whether the summer would ever cool off. Now everyone could breathe a sigh of relief. The rain sounded beautiful to her ears as it drummed a steady beat over the roof. Closing her eyes she listened to the rain. With each passing second she could feel the drizzle transform into a full blown rainstorm and that's when she felt her eyes well up with tears. All week she had felt so much pressure pinned up inside and now she felt that any moment she was going to burst like a dam.
Don't cry, Angela...You said you wouldn't cry... she scolded herself silently, desperately, but she knew there was no use.
Exhaling deeply Angela began to reluctantly sink into the mode of self pity that she always desperately tried to avoid for the sake of her sanity. When her mother had died, she was forced to be tough at a young age, and being tough meant she was not allowed to feel sorry for herself, no matter how dreary the situation seemed. She hated feeling sorry for herself, but sometimes reality would hit her harder then a ton of bricks and she had no choice but to face her overwhelming state of solitude. At least she had Topanga, she thought wryly. Usually that would bring some kind of comfort, but today it only bought more sadness. At the moment Topanga was too busy enjoying being married to have time to listen to her problems.
Like the rain, her tears began to fall slowly at first. Before she knew it her vision had became blurred and she was sobbing quietly with her head bent over her book. Tears rolled from her cheeks causing several wet stains to splash across the black and white pages of her book.
She was pretty sure her heart was breaking. She never felt so alone in her whole life. She didn't have Topanga as a best friend anymore, she couldn't talk to her father, she couldn't talk to Shawn...or could she? They have been dancing around the thought of serious commitment far too long. She had sacrificed and showed she was ready to take the next step when all he did was run away. More angry then sad now she brushed away her tears and began to gather her things. She was gong to find Shawn and set things straight. Feeling sorry for herself wasn't an option and neither was crying over spilled milk. One way or another she was going to be happy again whether it was with Shawn or without him, and this time whatever decision would be permanent.