**Author's note, not important to read** I started working on a FF following Mass Effect, the original game. It's such a huge story to tell, it would be hundreds of pages that I could barely sit through writing and doubted anyone would want to sit through reading. Now that ME2 is out I'm actually starting it again (I just never learn) and starting from scratch on top of that. How messed up is that? I don't think I'll ever finish it, and if I do editing it might kill me. Anyways, while Mass Effect is a great series, I was disappointed in the romantic storylines that carried over to ME2. I went back to the Citadel like 4 times looking for Kaiden my first play through trying to do something. Then I just hooked up w/ Thane (such an adorable alien). Anyways (again), since writing a ME1 to ME2 FF will probably not happen, I decided since Shepard isn't getting lucky before her suicide mission this time she might as well do something productive with her time. This originally was going to be a one-shot so if you read just the first chapter you can still get the effect of that. But it's still short, only 4 chapters, all of which I wrote and proofread instead of sleeping (proofread once, good enough).

***NOTE*** Female Shepard, mostly paragon but a potty mouth. Her name is Andromeda Shepard, called Andy occasionally. Story starts as the team is heading to the suicide mission. If you haven't played the game there are some spoilers, but half the story isn't even on the Normandy. Also if you haven't played the game, I'm afraid it may not make much sense. Thanks for reading, please review.

Chapter 1

"Setting course for the Omega 4 Relay, ETA 2 hours," Joker announced.

With the crew gone the ship was completely silent, and after that announcement she would have assumed even with the crew there it would have gone silent.

"Two hours, Commander…I'll keep you informed if anything changes," Miranda said. "Commander…I'm sorry if you…if I pressured you into this…"

"No, you didn't," Shepard assured her. "I knew…the moment we heard this was what we were going to do. Just wish that…" Shepard sighed and shook her head.

"I understand…things you were hoping to get done before…" Miranda didn't want to say it. Before they died.

"If there is any chance to save our crew, we're taking it," Shepard said firmly. "No one is left behind. Not without a fight."

Shepard sat in her cabin in front of her terminal, her heart steady but pounding hard against her chest. If they survived just passing through the Relay, they had a shot. But once through that Relay they weren't going to get any messages through. She only had this short time to organize everything she had uncovered since being woken up after a two-year coma. And she couldn't do it alone, or in less than two hours.

"Tali and Legion to my cabin," she ordered.

Legion arrived first, and waited patiently for Tali.

"Legion, your people need to send a representative to contact the Migrant Fleet and arrange for peace," Shepard said.

"Shepard…" Tali started.

"And you need to get a message to someone you trust there to accept it. Beg, if you must," Shepard said seriously. "Geth can be a very valuable ally against the Reapers. And, let's face it, if the Quarians can find a peaceful way to settle their differences you may be able to find what you both want. Geth, the ability to be left alone to develop as you want to. And Quarians, a home world safe from geth retaliation. Legion?"

"I will send this request if Creator Tali'Zorah can send the same request."

"Tali?" Shepard looked up at her.

"I know you are right, Shepard. But…convincing the Admirals…I don't know."

"Work together, do what you can," Shepard said.

Alone again, she continued working on a message for Liara.

'Liara, I know you have a lot to do…and I'm sorry to add this to it. While on Illium there was an asari, and I regret that I didn't get her name. Pale blue, white facial tattoos. I don't know if she is still there, but if you can find her I need to get a message to her. She is working for the friend we made on Noveria, remember…the one we helped escape? They are doing well, but I'm afraid they may need to make their presence known as an ally is coming quickly. I want them to make steps to find peaceful relations with the Council. Peaceful, but cautious. Thank you.'

She read over it once, positive that Liara would know she was talking about the Rachni queen, and sent the message.

She checked her time, forty-five minutes gone.

'Wrex, I hope your work is still going well. Your people will need to be strong, all of our people will need to be strong. Even if I don't fail, the threat isn't going to end. You can, without a doubt, promise your people the fight of their lives soon. I know it goes against your culture, but try to convince them that there are some fights worth waiting for and dying for. This is going to be one of them. Warn them, and try to reach out peacefully to the Council.'

She sat back, that had taken only a few minutes. "EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?" EDI's hologram popped up.

"All data from our missions, all reports, I need them packaged and encrypted ASAP," Shepard said.

There were a few moments, and then EDI said, "Prepared and sent to your terminal, Commander. You may enter a chosen password to decrypt the files."

"Thank you, EDI," Shepard said, and EDI vanished from sight, but she was still there.

Shepard entered in a password, and attached the file to prepare a message.

'Councilor Anderson, I apologize for my words the last time we met. I hope you know that I have always looked up to you, and trusted you. I know your hands are tied. I hope you also know that my hands weren't tied, and the choice I made wasn't an easy one. I'm sending you, not the Council but you my friend, this information. It may be from Cerberus, but it is also from me. We investigated a Collector ship and a Reaper ship. That's not even half of what I've been up to, but this is valuable. I trust you to get this information into the right hands for preparation. And I've asked a few potential allies to contact the Council, extend talks of peace. Do what you can. Take care, Cap.'

She sent it without reading over it again, the pressure of the time restraint making her anxious. Decrypting something that came from EDI would take years without a password, but Anderson would know if she sent something protected that it would be something he could guess. Not too obvious, but not too complex. He'd eventually crack it.

Only half an hour left, and she looked through her messages until she found the one she wanted to read again, for the hundredth time.

'Shepard, I'm sorry for what I said back on Horizon. I spent two years pulling myself back together after you went down with the Normandy. It took me a long time to get over my guilt for surviving and move on, I'd finally let my friends talk me into going out for drinks with a doctor on the Citadel. Nothing serious, but trying to let myself have a life again, you know? Then I saw you, and everything pulled hard to port. You were standing in front of me, but you were with Cerberus. I guess I really don't know who either of us is anymore. Do you even remember that night before Ilos? That night meant everything to me…maybe it meant as much to you. But a lot has changed in the last two years and I can't just put that aside. But please be careful. I've watched too many people close to me die-on Eden Prime, on Virmire, on Horizon, on the Normandy. I couldn't bear it if I lost you again. If you're still the woman I remember, I know you'll find a way to stop these Collector attacks. But Cerberus is too dangerous to be trusted. Watch yourself. When things have settled down a little…maybe…I don't know. Just take care. Kaiden.'

She smiled, even writing a message it seemed to take him forever to reach his point. Twenty-five minutes.

'Kaiden, I wish things weren't like this. I wish I could have found the words weeks ago to write back to you, but my brain has been battling my heart. I would rather be back in the Blitz than have to be writing to you like this. A few days after I woke up I went to Anderson, and I asked him about you. He wouldn't tell me how to contact you. And I had my team and my head reminding me that you had two years to move on, that I should let you be.' She paused in her writing, her finger hovering over delete as her eye watched the clock. Fifteen minutes. She continued, more quickly before she lost time and her nerve. 'We always knew we could lose the other in battle in the blink of an eye, and I'm sorry that you were the one who was left alone. I don't envy you that. My death wasn't pleasant, but I didn't have the heartache of losing someone I loved. It's okay if you moved on, beyond me. You are alive, and you are a good man. You deserve it.'

"Commander! Ten minutes out!" Joker announced.

She looked at the message, could she really do this to him again? Tell him she loved him and then die again? Reach out to him only to vanish from the galaxy again? She sent the message without finishing it, before she could change her mind or add anything else.

She pushed it out of her mind, focusing on the mission. If they survived passing through the Relay they had to find the Collectors, find the ship that abducted their crew and save them if it was possible. There was so much unknown that everything else would just be made up as they went along, not how she liked to go in but it hadn't stopped her before.