The Elric Brothers Return to RAW
By: DMEX
Nothing is mine
-The Locker Room-
Ed and Al are talking amongst themselves when Edge approaches them
Ed: Edge!
Edge: Edward…
Ed: What the hell do you want?
Edge: Well for one thing, you've gotten shorter since the last time you were on RAW-
Ed is boiling mad Anime style
Ed (trying to keep his temper): You're supposed to say "Look how big you've gotten."
Al (sweat drops): Oh, boy…
Edge: Why would I say something that obviously isn't true-
Ed (angry): DAMN IT! I'M NOT SHORT!
Al: Easy, Brother…!
Edge: And what the hell are you supposed to be? Some medieval armor that wears an apron?
Al: So what?
Ed (angry): DON'T YOU TALK TO AL THAT WAY!
-The RAW Zone-
Justin Roberts: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome back to Monday Night RAW. The stars of Cartoon Network's Adult Swim's FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood Edward and Alphonse Elric; THE FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST!
(FMABH music blares as Ed and Al come out with the crowd on their feet)
King: Yes! Their back!
Cole: They had a confrontation in the back with Edge. What's more to come.
King: Let me just say this, I've watched FullMetal Alchemist Brotherhood, and it by far is the funniest show I've seen since South Park.
Ed: How you all doing tonight, D.C.?
(Crowd Cheers)
(Layla and Michelle McCool comes out, the crowd is not liking it one bit)
Michelle (sarcasm): Wow… Finally someone is shorter than Hornswoggle comes to the WWE.
(Ed is burning with anger)
Al: Actually, Ed's taller than Hornswoggle.
Ed: Looks like you just got served!
Layla: But your STILL and ALWAYS WILL BE SHORT!
Layla & Michelle: BURNED!
King: I hate to see where this is going…
Ed (angry, while swinging a piece of uncooked ham at LAYCOOL): DON'T EVER CALL ME SHORT, STUMPY, MICROSCOPIC, PUNY, SHRIMP OR ANY OTHER SHORT NAMES AGAIN!
Cole: Oh, my God!
King: I guess he is a ham after all!
Ed (angry, at King): YOU AREN'T HELPING!
(Computer E-Mail blips)
Cole (putting on his glasses): Ladies and Gentlemen, I've received an E-Mail from the General Manager.
(opens laptop)
Cole: And I quote: "LAYCOOL, since you like to pick on people smaller than you, excluding Edward Elric-
Ed: I like where this is going…
Al: Quiet, Brother…
Cole: "-LAYCOOL; tonight you will face someone bigger than you, meaning The Big Show and The Great Khali inside a barbed wire steel cage with weapons-
Ed: Now that's more like it!
Cole: "-but as for you Edward; since you decided to beat LAYCOOL with a uncooked ham, tonight you dress like a ham! Meaning you have a pig costume and you will face The Miz and Edge and a Triple Threat Table Match. And if you refuse to compete or wear the pig costume, I'll personally see to it that you live to regret it!"
(Ed is fuming, in fact he's on fire)
Al: See where your temper got you Ed…?
Ed (angry): Oh, like you helped!
-Sometime later, Locker Room-
John Cena: Hey Ed, you ok?
Ed (angry): DO I LOOK OK!
Cena: That's exactly why you got yourself in this jam to begin with.
Ed: They started it with the short comment!
Cena: Your point being?
(Big Show comes in)
Show: Hey Ed. If you makes you feel any better, it's hard being a giant. I mean; I have to everything specially made for me just because of my height. I can't even find a decent car for me or one I can get in.
Ed (putting on the pig costume): Well, they respect you…
LAYCOOL got their asses handed to them, Show Chokeslammed Michelle all the way to Hell; while Layla got put in the Vice Grip.
-RAW Zone-
Justin Roberts: The following contest is scheduled for 1-Fall-
FMABH plays as the crowd gets on their feet
Justin Roberts: Introducing first, accompanied by his brother, Alphonse from Central City, "The FullMetal Alchemist" Edward Elric.
(King laughs his ass off as Ed comes in)
Cole: How unfortunate…
King: For him, anyway.
Ed (angry to King): SHUT UP BEFORE I PUT YOU THROUGH A DAMN TABLE!
You think you know me…?
(crowd has mixed reaction as Edge comes out)
Justin Roberts: His opponent, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada; "THE RATED R SUPERSTAR" EDGE!
(Edge's fireworks go off as Justin Roberts announces the "Rated R" part)
AWEEEEESOOOOMME!
(The Miz comes out to a sea of boos and insults from the crowd)
Justin Roberts: And his opponent from Cleveland, Ohio; THE MIZ!
The bell goes off and Miz and Edge just wail on Ed, Miz gets a Table, but not before giving Ed the Skull Crushing Finale, then sets the Table on the turnbuckle. Then Edge gets that crazy look on his face looking to Spear him into it, but Al sucker punched Edge. Unfortunately, it was a trap as Miz catapults Ed into the Table and it breaks.
AWEEEESOOMME!
Justin Roberts: The Winner of the Match, THE MIZ!
(Miz gets a mic)
Miz: So I guess the little piggy is going to cry "wee wee wee" all the way home; BECAUSE I'M THE MIZ; AND I'M-
(cartoon clonk is heard and Miz is flat out on the mat)
Ed (angry): I DON'T CARE WHO YOU ARE GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE! AND DON'T EVER CALL ME SHORT AGAIN!
(the crowd cheers as Ed and Al are taking "the trash" out)
-3 days later, Military Base Central Command-
(people in the main office are laughing about something when Ed and Al come in)
Ed: WHAT!
Col. Mustang: Embrace your inner piggy, Ed.
Hawkeye: You cried "wee wee wee" all the way back here.
Lt. Armstrong (strips his shirt off): TIME TO EMBRACE YOUR INNER PORK WITH ME!
They show an E-Mail photo with Ed in the pig costume; and it's from MizEdge!
Ed (angry): I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS MIZ!
(End?)