Love is bearded

Yoshi sighed as he gazed across the crowded, magic school corridor at his senpai, Gandalf. The dino's heart fluttered as he watched the sunlight danced off of his magnificent, grey beard. If only Gandalf would notice him... Unfortunately, Gandalf-senpai hadn't so much as glanced at Yoshi since that fateful day three months previous. That day had started like any other. Yoshi had been minding his own business when the school golden couple and long-time tormentors of the green dinosaur had turned up. Mario and Peach were beautiful, right down to Mario's large, stiff... Moustache. The bullying had started a few weeks before this particular incident when Mario had found Yoshi's personal stash of moustache pics. Heavily featuring Mario's our luscious bristles. Yoshi tried to convince his majestic room mate that the pictures were of his brother, Luigi's own impressive fuzz, but Mario was not so easily fooled, the Italian heart throb knew his own brush when he saw it and flew into a rage. The whole school now knew of Yoshio's facial hair preferences. He was so embarrassed and Yoshio was so shy anyway... Since then, the hazing had been almost unbearable, the worst part being that it was headed by Mario and his glorious stubble. However, that fateful afternoon their beatings were interrupted by a commanding yet sulty voice ricocheting down the corridor to the locker Mario had pinned Yoshi up against.

"You there, foul beasts, cease your wicked doings!" Yoshi felt a shiver run down his spine. Who was this mysterious saviour? It happened so fast. Yoshi's small frame was dropped from the locker and he was left gazing at the back of a tall, broad shouldered figure, wearing untidy, grey robes. Long, tousled, grey hair streamed almost to his waist. He was standing betwixed Yoshi and oppressors... The little, green teen was lost for words, but he managed to pipe up a small, questioning "Yoshi?" The stranger glanced over his shoulder at Yoshi. Yoshi's breath caught in his throat as he caught his first glimpse of that sumptuous beard. It was Yoshi's first beard. Up until that moment it had only ever been upper lip hair, but Yoshi had now been exposed to a whole new world of big, full bearded men. It was glorious. It was magnificent. It made Yoshi's fragile, virgin heart doki doki until he thought it might burst out out his chest. Surely his newly discovered feelings must be showing on his face? The reptile raised one scaly claw to his cheek and felt the burning heat of a million candles there on his usually cold blooded knew this a beard that he could truly fall in love with. Yoshi's thoughts were snapped back to the handsome vigilante shielding him from his Italian abuser and his arm candy.

"Stay-a out-a of-a this-a, Gandalf-a." The plumber demanded, hotly.

"No, Mario. This is wrong." The graveley, aged voice reasoned. Mario snorted, indignantly and went to step forward. Suddenly, the grey hero erupted in an exciting roar that made Yoshi tremble, anticipatingly. "YOU. SHALL. NOT. PASS." Mario was taken aback before he growled and shoved Gandalf's shoulders, roughly. "You-a want-a go-a? Let's-a go!" Yoshi scrambled back as Gnandalf lunged at his opponent, bravely and without regard for his own safety. The brawl only lasted minutes before Gandalf had the pair fleeing up the corridor, Mario shouting back over his shoulder "You'll-a regret-a this-a, Gandalf-a." Gandalf chuckled, throatily, like a sexy Santa and brushed some dust from the scuffle off his robe. "Fly. you fools." He smirked before turning his attention back to Yoshi. Yoshi's heart lept and he accepted Gandalf's outstretched hand, timidly. Gandalf pulled the small dinosaur to his feet with a gentle smile and offered Yoshi his handkerchief for his tear stained cheeks and bulbous, burst nose.

"Fear not, young wyvern, they are gone. They shall pester you no longer." Gandalf's warm smile made fresh tears fog Yoshi's already cloudy gaze, bedazzled as it was by Gandalf's mesmerising, grey bush. Yoshi paused and tilted his head, curiously.

"Yoshi yoshi yoshi, yoshi yoshi. Yoshi yoshi." He whispered, touching Gandalf's soft handkerchief to his nose.

"What's this you say?" Gandalf looked bewildered. "You are not a dragon? You're a dinosaur?" Gandalf threw back his head and laughed, beard quivering, in a way that made Yoshi's stomach twist into multiple knots while his heart flipped to the sweet melodious sound of Gandalf's laugh. 'So this is why they call it love sick...' He thought, tenderly. Yoshi opened his mouth to thank Gandalf for his handkerchief when the bell rung, shrilly, shattering Yoshi's reverie. "Alas, I am late for CAD."

"Yoshi yoshi?" The dino asked, seriously.

"Yes. Casting and Deflecting. I'm a magic student." Gandalf grinned. "I'm in my last year."

"Yoshi..." Yoshi breathed.

"Yes, I suppose I am your senpai, Yoshi-chan." Yoshi's cheeks flamed once more and he looked away from the older man's burning gaze. When Yoshi looked back, he was gone...

Yoshi hadn't had the courage to return the handkerchief since then. He could never find his senpai alone... He was always, always in the company of Cartman-kun, who was in the same year as Yoshi. Whenever Gandalf casually caressed Eric Theodore Cartman's blue woolen cap, Yoshi turned green with envy, but, luckily no one noticed as Yoshi was green anyway. Luckily, Gandalf hadn't been paying an awful lot of attention to Cartman today even though the large boy was chatting animatedly to him already. Gandalf seemed distracted, his eyes wandering the hallway, as if he was searching for someone. Yoshi's heart fluttered for a moment. Could it possibly be him Gandalf was searching for so intensely? No, that was silly. How could anybody as wonderful and kind and smart and funny and sincere and compassionate and sexy and noble and full bearded as Gandalf ever feel something more than pity for somedragon like Yoshi. The green scaled dinosaur lowered his gaze and prepared to walk past Gandalf and accept the older man's indifference to his exsitence as he walked to class. This was not the case, however. Yoshi was stopped by a strong, sensual hand on his scaly wrist.

"Yoshi-chan..." Gandalf breathed "I was looking for you, Yoshi-chan. I need to talk to you," Gandalf's eyes averted his eyes almost as if he was embarrassed and rubbed the back of his neck, dropping Yoshi's arm, gently, "...alone."

Yoshi's eyes widened. "Yoshi...?" Yoshi said, blushing hard.

"Yes, really." Gandalf took Yoshi's claw and began weaving them through the throng of students. Unnoticed Cartman-kun followed behind them, confused at Gandalf's unsually outgoing behaviour.

Gandalf pulled Yoshi into the first empty classroom he could find, Cartman stood by the door, awkwardly, sensing the intimate atmosphere surrounding the wizard and his small, scaly companion.

"Yoshi-chan, there's something I've been meaning to tell you, but, I've so afraid of what I'm capable of." Yoshi sucked in a sharp breath and touched his claw to Gandalf's cheek, soothingly. "I don't want to hurt you, Yoshi."

Yoshi let out a shaky breath and bit back his tears enough to speak. "Yoshi. Yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi, yoshi. Yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi, yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi yoshi. Yoshi yoshi. Yoshi."

Gandalf look taken aback. "You such a way with words, Yoshi-chan. But, no. I'm not telling you I'm not interested. I'm telling you I am."

Yoshi blinked. "...yoshi?"

"You see, Yoshi-chan, most peope think I am as tame and meek as a lamb, but the truth is, I am a wolf and ever since we met, all I've been able to think about is how I would love to ravish you, Yoshi-chan." Gandalf's voice cracked and he stepped back from Yoshi.

Yoshi quickly the space and asked why he was so upset, "Yoshi! Yoshi yoshi yoshi?"

"No, Yoshi-chan. You should run from me before I taint your pure, innocent heart." Gandalf pressed his fist to his forehead in anguish. "I can't indulge my animalistic urges. Not on you. Please go."

Yoshi stood, transfixed by the wizard's raw emotions. He'd asked him to go, so he probably should but, he couldn't. Senpai noticed him. Senpai wanted him, and Yoshi wanted senpai! The dinosaur took a shaking step forward and brushed his claw through Senpai's silky beard before his pressed his cold, reptilian lips to Gandalf's soft, plump lips. Gandalf froze before he melted into the kiss and wrapped his arms around Yoshi's small, red shell. "Yoshi-chan..." Gandalf breathed onto the dinosaur's lips. "Yoshi~" The dinosaur breathed back before closing his eyes and letting the warm, tangible sensations run up and down his body. After a few long moments, Yoshi's eyes fluttered open and he gasped as he spotted Cartman-kun by the door. Yoshi pulled his lips back and tried to break from Gandalf's tight embrace. The wizrd's arms stuck fast, like a vice.

"What's wrong, Yoshi-chan?" Gandalf asked his blushing partner.

"Yoshi yoshi..." Yoshi whispered and peeked under his long, dark lashes at Cartman-kun, lurking, forgotten and heart broken by the door.

Gandalf glanced over his shoulder before he cupped Yoshi's cheek and caught the dino's soft gaze once more. "Let him watch. I want him to watch. I want the whole school to know you're mine."

Yoshi was over come with lust for the strong seme type with a beard. Gandalf reconnected their lips and pushed Yoshi against the bearest wall to deepen their kiss.

"Weak..." Cartman muttered and he slipped, dejectedly from the class. That stupid, green dinosaur was only interested in Gandalf's beard. Unlike Cartman, who loved senpai for the sweet, honest person he was. Cartman could feel tears welling in his eyes as he broke into a run. He tore through the crowd, tears streaming down his cheeks. The husky boy collided with a strong figure. "EH!" He yelled, glaring up at the dark moustache dancing under the plumber's nose.

"Watch-a it-a, fatty-a." Cartman growled and dragged a hand across his stub nose.

"EH!" He repeated, getting more angry by the minute. "Im not fat! My Mom says I'm just big boned!"

Mario smirked before he tilted his head. "Why-a are-a you-a crying-a, little-a fatty-a?"

Cartman's face fell. "S-Senpai... He... Gandalf-senpai, he's... Kissing that stupid, green dino."

"Yoshi-a?" Mario asked, suddenly intrigued.

"Yeah." Cartman nodded.

"Fatty-a?"

"What?"

"You-a what-a get-a even-a?" A slow smirk crept from under the brunette's moustache.

Cartman paused before girnning back through his tears. "Hell yeah."

Next time on Love Is Bearded -

When a new student from the Jedi community enters the school and joins Yoshi's class and immedietely expresses his interest in the shy dinosaur, Gandalf feels his beard is threatened by this new comers handsome bristles. Who will win Yoshi's heart in the ultimate BEARD SMACKDOWN!?

And what are Mario and Cartman plotting?

Will Gandalf and Yoshi's budding new romance stand the test of time and adolecense?