Fire Emblem: I'm Stuck WHERE?!

Chapter One:

Fantastic!

A/N: Well, I was bored, and had a simple lack of motivation to work on my Soul Eater stories. So, I was stupid enough to start a different fanfiction. Good god, I'm stupid. Well, Let's hop along the trend train my dear readers, because this is a Fire Emblem: Awakening OC Insert. (Not a SI due to the fact that it's not me that's being inserted, but rather an OC.) So, this story was basically born from my stupidity in starting yet another story, boredom, and laziness with my other stories. Fantastic. I can already tell that this is gonna go well. Oh, and just so you know, there's a lot of sarcasm in this story. I warned you. The first chapter isn't part of the actual story of FE:A, so… Consider this a paralogue. Also, thoughts are in italics.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own the Fire Emblem series or Fire Emblem: Awakening. Insert more legal stuff here.

I awoke and noticed something: Everything was white. Next: a burning cold. I yelled a muffled cry of pain as I withdrew my head from what I then realized was snow. What happened next, you ask? The best thing yet: I was completely surrounded by some seriously threatening looking guys (there was about thirty of them) who were pointing lances, swords, axes and bows at me! Truly fantastic, no? One of them approached me, grabbed me by my collar began speaking to me.

"Hey pal, ever heard of a lil' somethin' called 'territory'? Because you're in ours. And we bandits aren't very forgving." He said. I glared at him and responded with

"Yes, I have. Have you ever heard of something called having bad breath? Because you have a very serious case of it. And I'm not a fan of a bastard such as yourself being this close to my face with your shitty breath."

The man smacked me, threw me on the ground, and then put his foot on my face. From underneath, I gave a muffled "Can you please not do that? I'd rather not have a foot on my face that smells worse than a literal pile of shit. Seriously. Have you never washed any part of your body?"

The other guys looked at me in shock. I heard someone say "This kid's got a death wish!" The man took his foot off my face and put it on my chest as he took his axe out. He raised his axe into the air and was about to bring it down when a cry rang out from the distance.

"The bandits are near! Shepherds! To arms!" The group cursed and the man on top of me put his axe back, delivered a good kick to my temple, and ran, as the others followed suit. I looked and saw a man with… blue hair? WTF? Leading a small group of fighters behind him. I passed out, and saw nothing more. I then awoke in a burning village (minus the villagers) where I was laying against a building with a girl in a yellow dress with blonde hair in pigtails who was standing next to me and there was also a man with white hair observing the battle, analyzing each "Shepherd" as the blue-haired man called them, and bandit, as the bandits were fighting them, occasionally shooting a ball of lightning at an approaching bandit. Wait… Shepherds? Man with blue hair? Bandits? Guy shooting lightning? GIRL WITH PIGTAILS?! There's only one way this is possible… And no, I'm not talking about Fairy God Parents…. I've either been kidnapped by extreme cosplayers, or I'm in what will most likely be a crappy OC Insert written by a bored teenager who decided to jump aboard the trend train…. I'd rather have the first one to be honest…. Let's just hope this teenager knows what he's doing… A voice then sounded through my head. Two things: Stop breaking the fourth wall, and pay attention to what's going on. I'll answer all of your questions later. Oh. So I have voices in my head now. Fantastic. I observed the battlefield once more. Yup. Those are the Shepherds. Judging from who was there, I'm guessing that it's shortly after chapter 2 in the game. I looked over just in time to see who I'm guessing is Chrom stab the man who had grabbed me by collar and threw me on the ground. And thus, the battle ended.

The girl who seemed to be Lissa skipped over to him and began talking to him, proceeding to point at me and skip back eagerly, Chrom in tow. "See Chrom, he's awake!" She exclaimed.

Chrom approached me and sat down. He then greeted me. "My name is Chrom and this is my little sister Lissa. What's yours?"

"You can just call me Zane, Prince Chrom." I said, glancing at the mark of the Exalt on his shoulder. "Would you by any chance allow me to join you?"

Chrom opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a man clearing his throat from behind me. I turned to see Frederick the Wary himself.

"With all due respect milord, we know nothing of this individual. He was indeed, to our knowledge, being assaulted by bandits, but how do we know the whole thing is naught but a ploy to get an assassin within our ranks?" Chrom sighed.

"Frederick, you should know me better. If I see someone in need, I'm going to help them. That's how I am. I see no reason to not trust this man."

The voice in my head spoke once more. Yeah. Besides, Zane isn't smart enough to pull off something like that. If I could, I would smack that guy right now. But since he's in my head, that's kind of hard to do…. Chrom turned to face me. "We would be glad to welcome you into the Shepherds. Can you stand on your own?" He asked. "I should be fine. The only place that was hurt is my head." I stood and wobbled a bit before examining my new clothes. I was wearing an old, worn traveling cloak and some simple cotton clothes. On the bright side, I had some fairly badass boots. They were black and had a strange flame like design. I looked up at Chrom and grinned. "Fantastic! I'd be glad to join you!"

Chapter 1 Edit #1 6/24/14: Fixed some small errors and added some extra details.