Why can I not do anything right?

Someone finally likes me. Him of all people. Somehow he knew... Did I not hide it well enough? Is it obvious? Maybe if I avoid him it will all go away.

But maybe I don't want it to go away. Maybe I want the attention. I deserve it right? His eyes are mesmerizing, those yellow-green orbs draw me in. I don't want to stay away... I can't stay away.

Maybe if we hide it we can be together. Would he want to hide it? Maybe. I have to ask to figure out.

What if someone figures out? I'll stripped of my marks and become forsaken. He is worth it. I haven't been living until I met him. I've just been alive. My heart flutters when I see him. My cheeks flush when I think of him. He is my reason for living. I would give up my marks for him. Everything I have worked towards is nothing compared to him. Nothing.

Maybe I'm just confused. Maybe it's just a phase. Maybe I'll be normal. What is normal anyways? Who decides what's normal? If I avoid myself long enough it might just fade away. Oh please. Who am I kidding?

I'm just a normal liar.

But I'm worse,

I'm lying to myself.

I'm the worst liar of all.

But there is one thing I can't lie about.

I love him.

Ok so I have been obsessed with Malec lately. Like this is a problem. And I have been in LOVE with Kevin Zegers. I mean come on. Ughh... His eyes... His dimples... Him. So I have watched the Mortal Instruments and It's a Boy Girl Thing on repeat. I love him so much. I've also been stalking Godfrey Gao's Instagram for the past few days. I love when he references Magnus. Ughhh. And he can rock guyliner. Yummm. I need more Malec. So if you have any Malec fics either you've written or you just love please please please write it in the reviews. (Im honestly going to read all of them.) There is no such thing as too much Malec. If you liked this and want me to write another Malec fic tell me! Omg my computer is freaking out about the spelling of Malec hahaha get used to it. :P

with all my love,

A

lol because my authors note is probably the same length if not longer than the actual story.