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Author's Note-REVIEW! That is all!
Summary-Severus Snape made a mistake. His life was driven by pain and remorse, after all this time, always. All he wanted was a chance to fix it if he could. This is his chance...Sort of. Lily/Snape afterlife. R&R! ONESHOT!
And the Green Eyes Found the Black
The blood was hot and sticky as it gushed, mingling with the poison, as it pooled on the floor; the wound to painful and poisoned to clot and stop. The breaking point between life and death flashed before his eyes with the effort of lifting a finger to the wound trying to staunch the blood. His body twitching and shuddering as Death made to strike. He used all his energy to cling to life.
Then something changed in the atmosphere. He was not alone. He would not die alone. Someone else was here. The person he liked least and yet wanted most was here, in his most vulnerable hour. And it was a wish and a dream come true. He could only hope he was not hallucinating. Hoping death had not come too soon; that the person leaning by his side with a sad and confused look on their face was real. And the pain seemed to ebb away at the sight of the boy. No. Man.
He needed a chance. He had wasted too much time. This was his last chance. His only chance! This was the moment. This person had to know the truth, deserved the truth. And Severus Snape used all his strength to pull from himself his memories. His life story. And the truth that entwined him with Harry Potter. The past Harry had to know. The things Severus kept buried most deeply. Things he had revealed to only one other person in his entire life.
Severus watched the memory being placed into a flask. Feeling what little he had left begin to slip. And he called out one last time, frail and helpless. He needed to see Harry's eyes. Severus needed too see the bright green iris that was hers. Because she was his final thought. She always would be.
And Severus felt Harry grip his hand as the room started to fade. All he could see were the intense green eyes. Surprisingly sad; holding him there for one shining moment. Suddenly all went dark and cold. One last decision needed to be made. To stay or to go?
Severus stood there a moment; invisible, in the world between existence and nonexistence. And he watched Harry who let go of his hand, still looking poignant, clutching the flask that held the last remnants of Severus' life.
And Harry's eyes. No. His mother's eyes. Held Severus' unknowingly once more. And Severus considered staying, remaining as a version of his former self. But he knew he couldn't. He knew he had to go on. Knew he belonged somewhere differently now. And with a flash everything went white, and blank.
Severus peered around, gaining a sense of his surroundings. His heart leapt. There was a swing set behind a familiar hedge, where flowers rained down, opening and closing at random. And Severus felt whole. He was finally home. He did not expect her to be there. But he could not resist leaning down and peering through the hedge.
Shock and astonishment filled him and he fell backward. There was a giggle and the raining flowers ceased. Severus leaned up on his elbows and smiled. It felt odd, to smile. The muscles felt tight with lack of use. And yet it felt comfortable to do. The giggling grew louder and closer. And before he was ready she was standing there, with her hand outstretched. Lily Evans looked more radiant than ever.
Her looks were as crisp as his memory of her; dark, red locks long and gleaming in the afternoon sun. Severus had been forced to watch her blossom from afar. He was demeaned to watching her fall into the dastardly clutches of James Potter. As he longed to be the one she thought of at night, like he did her. He'd lost her in one moment of fervor embarrassment; a moment that had never ceased replaying in his mind. A meaningless, crude term had forced them apart.
She beamed at him, waiting patiently to help him up as he slowly drunk her in. Severus took her hand, relishing the feeling of her soft olive skin. She was the only one he would ever permit to help him up. Lily tightened her grip and pulled Severus to his feet. He stood up and she let go of his hand. He reluctantly brushed himself off. Then he turned to look at Lily again.
He was-as expected-a head taller than she was. And his eyes roved from her thin, light face, to her pink lips, straight nose. And then hesitantly; unprepared their eyes met. They met in a way they had not met in years. In a way Severus had longed to see them again. And the green was just as brilliant as he remembered. He blinked away the memory of his last moment. The eyes providing the same comfort now as they did then.
"You know, I almost didn't come, Severus," Lily said the smile fading slightly from her face. She crossed her arms. And Severus felt her eyes sizing him up; her tone reverberating in his chest. The sound of his name from her lips, echoed in his head. He would always love how it sounded when she said it, no matter how incensed she was. He felt the slight shudder of pity she had for him. Knowing she was considering what she knew of his dark past; of his parents.
He put his hands behind his back, feeling fifteen all over again and at a complete want for the right words. She was here. She wasn't going to leave, unless he disappointed her. She was staying for as long as he needed her. As long as it took to fix what had went wrong. The pain of how different life might have been burned at Severus's insides, and he cleared his throat. He felt parched. Her glare was piercing. And he wanted nothing more than for her to smile again. Unfortunately he was the only one that would be able to make that happen. His voice was hoarse as he started, "I-I'm glad you came." Severus hated himself. He didn't stutter! He wasn't weak like that!
Lily saw his anguish and knew she needed to explain. She inclined her head slightly toward Severus and enlightened, "I knew when you arrived you would end up here. And I had made the decision a long time ago, that I would not be here. That I would never be here!" Severus heard her voice rise in anger. He wanted to say something. But his voice was lost. Lily continued, "Dumbledore convinced me. Dumbledore said-"
"Dumbledore," Severus said with wonder. And it was this thought of Dumbledore that brought Severus back to himself.
"I didn't ask you to come! You cannot be angry with me for your choice to be here. Dumbledore does not control you, and I would not have seen you any differently if you had not shown up," Severus glared at Lily, emotion boiling over, shrouding his judgment, hiding his affection. Severus used his pain to fuel him. The only thing that he could ever trust.
Lily's voice quivered, "Dumbledore said it would be cowardice of me not to come! He told me all the sacrifices you made for him. For my son!" Large tears fell from Lily's vivid eyes. Severus swore at himself for hurting her. Again.
Severus put his hand on her shoulder, and wanted to withdraw it immediately. But he was not a coward. He wanted to comfort her. She needed him. The small comfort his hand provided was more than enough. The fact that she did not turn away, shove him off was more than Severus could ever hope for. And he finally knew just what to say to Lily. Severus sighed and whispered confidently, "And are you a coward?"
Lily swallowed hard, and looked into Severus's dark tunnel like eyes. She wondered how he could ask such a question when the answer was so obvious, "NO! I AM NOT A COWARD!" Lily sniffled, "I'm here aren't I?"
Severus nodded removing his hand from her shoulder. The corners of his mouth twitched as he considered what he had to say next. Severus hung his head in complete submission to Lily. She responded by brushing her hand on his a moment.
Severus looked up innocently at Lily and spoke before he could stop himself, "Lily I'm sorry! I know it didn't make any difference then! And I'm sure it can't change things now, but I am! There aren't words-"
"I know about the doe. I know what you tried to do, what you did do for my family; for me, Harry and James. I know what it must have cost you. How terrible it must have felt. How in order to protect me, you had to protect your enemy! I made the same mistake in judgment you made in your frustration and humiliation, the thing that tore us apart. I picked the wrong person to guard the secret for our survival! And I lost my life because of that lapse in judgment. Things could have been so different! And I'm sorry!" Lily shoved herself into Severus's chest burying her face in his cloak. Surrendering to her pain and remorse; the same pain and remorse that had conducted his life.
Severus swayed slightly on the spot. The full reality of the moment, pushing him, more than Lily clinging tightly to their childhood friendship. The friendship that had been cruelly taken from them at such a young age. And before he could stop himself he was holding her, comforting her. And it was all he ever wanted. All he ever needed.
She wiped her nose and eyes on her sleeve, and looked up at Severus still clinging to him with one hand. And he looked at her. Her eyes watery and expressive sparkled in the sun. The green like stained glass, holding his gaze. Forever.
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