CHAPTER ONE
4 years later, the war is finally over. Jeanine is dead. The Abnegation stopped dying. Gunshots stop ringing, and I am free. I am free.
"Tis the gift to be simple,
'Tis the gift to be free,
'Tis the gift to come down where you ought to be,
And when you find yourself in the place just right,
'Twill be in the valley of love and delight."
I hear the Amity sing a peaceful melody as I walk down the empty hallway, away from the people and the laughter and the red and yellow blended together. I could never live here. People are so happy with smiles plastered on their face. I wonder if they even know about the peace serum.
I think apart of life naturally, you have to endure some pain at some point. And if you're happy all the time with no pain, then you're living life wrong. One of the many reasons why I didn't chose Amity. Besides, I'm not that kind.
I finally make my way to the small apartment space Johanna let us use. After the war was over, some of the apartments in the Dauntless compound were either damaged or completely destroyed. Now that Amity ties with Erudite have broken off, they let a lot of Dauntless members stay here for a while.
I fiddle with the lock and open the door quietly, trying not to disturb Tobias. He looks so young when he sleeps, so innocent and peaceful even though he must be exhausted. I silently send a prayer to God to keep this one for me. I don't think I could live on without him.
I slide back into the covers and rest my head on the pillows, letting myself slip into a dreamless sleep.
I wake up to the smell of eggs and bacon and see Tobias standing in the kitchen, shirtless. I quickly go into the bathroom and brush my teeth. I lift my head up to the reflection of the mirror just a little bit so I can see his muscles tense and relax. I stare at his tattoos and am soon lingering to places all over his body. I feel the sudden urge, the wanting.
Somehow he feels my eyes staring at him and he turns around. "You up?" he calls out. I catch a glimpse of his deep blue eyes. I lie back down in bed and he walks into the room and sets my plate down by the nightstand. I turn my face away, cheeks flushed red. I shouldn't have been staring at him like that.
"Yeah. Thanks for the breakfast." I say quietly. He walks up toward his side of the bed, leaning against the bathroom door frame. He stares at me for a while longer while chewing his food. I can feel his eyes staring into me like daggers, trying to claw into my flesh and skin, but I don't let him thinks it bothers me. I stare at my plate and we eat in silence until it is all gone. He is the first to say something.
"So what do you want to do today? I think some of the others were going back to Dauntless to check on the re-building progress." he says in a flat tone.
"Honestly," I reply. "I don't feel like going anywhere today." And it's the truth. I don't want to go anywhere.
He thinks about this for a minute and says "Good. Because I don't feel like going anywhere either."
The thought makes my stomach churn. What do you want to do, I almost ask. But I don't press it further. He lays back into bed with me and wraps an arm pulling me closer to him and I do. I feel his warmth and energy radiating off of him. Soon again I get the feeling of want, and it's desperate.
My instincts take over before I even know what I am doing. I turn around and kiss him on the lips hard, a tough but passionate kiss. He is surprised and hesitant at first but then kisses me back just as passionate.
The want. The urge. The feeling floods all over my body for him.
My hand roams around his chest, feelings his muscles and his tattoos and his skin. God, he's handsome. He's mine, I think to myself.
We keep kissing, each and every one meaning more than the last. He repositions himself so he is sitting over me. I shift up too, clinging on to him as if this is the last time I will see him.
His hands rummage through my long, blonde locks, kissing me more deeply. He then breaks and goes straight for my neck. He pecks kisses on my neck and kisses my ravens. I let out a sigh in pleasure. I feel him smirk against my skin. But I am not embarrassed. My cheeks don't turn red and I know it's simply because I don't care. This is Tobias. I want to be with him. I want this.
He accidentally slips his hand under my shirt revealing a strip of skin allowing a cool breeze to settle upon me. He tugs at the hem of my shirt, as if asking to take it off. I nod, and up and over my head it goes. I toss it on the floor. I would normally be embarrassed at the sight of my small, young girl body. But the way Tobias looks at me, like I'm heaven on Earth, it simply just makes me want him more.
I reach for his belt and unbuckle the metal part. I rip it off and it falls on the floor with the rest of the clothes. He goes back to my lips, kissing me soft and gentle. I unzip his pants and let him take them off. Soon I realize mine are off too. With a quick unsnap my bra is on the floor.
I don't see how such a strong, handsome man could find pleasure in me, a small girl from Abnegation. I think he deserves someone better. But one I see that we are completely naked, legs and arms and body parts tangled under the sheet, I truly see that maybe we are meant to be.
We are making love. Painful at first, but soon I feel amazing and grateful for Tobias. He moans and I gasp several times, both of us in pleasure. He really does care for me. After all my stubbornness and selflessness times, he still loves me. And I know why.
This is how we mend. After the terror of not seeing him for months because of the war, missing his presence, worrying about him, killing innocent people, arguing about me risking my life, we were hurt. We were a broken couple, with a fragility that shattered in seconds. We needed to be fixed, to be mended.
And we can mend. We can mend each other. I hear Tobias whisper in my ear.
"Be brave Tris."