It Started as Words in my Journal
Moonlesswind
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Authors note: I haven't seen Home Improvement in eons, but for some reason I had a dream last night that inspired this story. It probably sucks, but it needed to be done. Btw Randy never goes to Costa Rica
Disclaimer: I don't own Home Improvement, nor am I making any money off of this.
Set in the spring of 1997, Randy is 15, Brad 16 and yes this is slash.
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Randy's POV as Written in his Journal
May 9
She finally did it. I knew that it was coming, but Lauren finally broke up with me. I cannot say that I am upset; I was expecting this, encouraging it even. You see I stopped caring. I'm not sure that I ever cared about our relationship. Oh, I cared about her, she's a good person and I don't want to see her hurt. Which is why I didn't break up with her… waited for her to break up with me. I didn't care about the relationship, because I don't like girls. I like guys. I am Gay, and I finally admit it.
May 15
This feels weird. Since that day I've been noticing men. I think mentally I'm trying to figure out what attracts me to them. Do I like tall, or short? Blonde or brunette? I even find myself looking in the showers. And then I think "What the hell are you doing?!? Do you want them to notice and get pounded?" Even before I admitted that I'm gay to myself I was called a fag in school. Taunted, ridiculed, and teased but never touched. That is because of Brad. Nobody touches Brad's brothers. But I don't think even Brad's rep could protect me if they caught me looking.
May 20
After some soul searching I think that I am starting to get an idea of what I like. Tall, but then again, it's hard to find someone shorter than I am. I do find blonde haired and blue eyed more appealing. I have made myself stop looking in the showers, and I don't think anybody noticed.
June 5
What the hell is wrong with me? Oh, I've decided what kind of man I am most attracted to. The problem is that I am attracted to a tall man, athletic and well muscled. He is blue eyed and blonde haired, full of lip with a strong jaw. The problem is that he is my own brother. What the hell am I thinking…?
June 17
I am resigned to being attracted to my own brother. The problem is that I can't seem to be satisfied with just being attracted. I find myself watching him, mesmerized by his movements. I've lived with him for 15 years of my life, why didn't I notice that he is so graceful. Maybe it was just the soccer that made him that way, maybe he was just always that way and I just didn't pay any attention. God, I'm becoming obsessed. He is starting to notice me watch him. Sometimes when I'm staring at him suddenly he is looking back at me with those eyes… I lie awake sometimes in my bed in the basement, consumed with the though that he is just two floors above me, sleeping the sleep of the innocent, because he can never know that I, Randy Taylor, am in love with my own brother. Damn it, Brad…
Randy's POV in person
I took my time walking home from school today, and maybe that was the mistake. It gave Brad time to find it.
When I got home I grabbed an apple from the counter and went down to my room. That is where I found Brad, perched on the end of my bed with an open book in his hands. I felt the apple slip out of my hand as I realize that it's my journal and that he is in far enough to have found out my secret. I hope that I am wrong.
Then he looked up, must have heard the apple hit the floor, and his eyes were wide and filled with shock. So he knows. My brain is shutting down and my body taking over. I ran. Dimly I hear him call my name as I race up the stairs and out the front door.