Summary- Seven years ago Dean lost his first love when she was abducted by something supernatural. Now seven years later while on a routine love, Dean is about to face his lost love, spiraling his life out of control and endangering Sam's life.

Notes- This takes place the night Shadow finished so expect reference's to that episode. Everything after the episode is AU.

Devil Tears

Dean leant against the motels bathroom door and closed his eyes, he had made the right decision, in his heart he knew he had made the right call, but it didn't help the pain that he now felt when he thought about the pained look on his baby brothers face, or the slightly pained look on his fathers face, when he had told him he couldn't come with them.

He closed his eyes and stifled a moan of pain as he removed his jacket, he let it fall to the floor and with shaking hands he reached down to the bottom of his shirt slowly pulling it over his head, this time the moan of pain escaped his mouth.

He closed his eyes hoping that it hadn't been loud enough for his brother to hear. He gave a sigh of relief when he didn't hear any movement on the other side of the door. He slowly and painfully limped over to the shower, his hand coming out to turn the knob, the shower and the room quickly filling with steam.

He sighed and stepped out of his jeans; he took in a deep breath and held it before stepping under the spray of hot water. He winced in pain and banged his fist against the shower wall, cursing anything he could think of.

He ran a hand over his face clearing his eyes of water before opening his eyes, he looked down at watched fascinated as the now scolding water washed the blood from his body. His eyes drifted closed once again and he leant his aching body against the wall.

"I did the right thing" He muttered under the water, desperately trying to erase the feeling of wrongness. They were a liability to their dad and was more then likely to get him killed. Dean shook his head, he how scared he had felt when he realized Megs plan, he hated the feeling of utter helplessness. That wasn't him, he wasn't the one to be helpless he always had a game plan. But what he couldn't live with, was if his dad died and he knew it was his fault. No he had done the right thing, he had and he knew Sam knew that as well, even if at the moment he wasn't willing to admit it.

Deans eyes drifted open and he scrubbed a callus hand over his face scrubbing the blood from his head, his hands working slowly down his body pressing the side of his chest assessing the damage that the devas had done. He wince in pain, there was defiantly a cracked rib he just hoped he hadn't broke them.

"Dean" Dean snapped his eyes open his head wiping round his brow furrowing in confusion, he quickly pulled back the shower curtain almost ripping it from the rail.

Im going insane he thought to himself turning his body back to the spray when he realized that he was indeed alone, and that the only people in the hotel was him and Sam, and it was defiantly not Sam who had called out his name. I know that voice, he thought to himself banging his hand against the wall in frustration.

"Dean come on that isn't fair" Dean laughed freely and shook his head holding his hand further above his head, the young women standing in front of him crossed her arms and pouted.

"Now that isn't fair Beth you know I can't resist that look" The blonde women smiled slightly and took the leather bound journal from Dean's hand.

"Why do you think I did it" She breathed out, squealing in surprise when Dean tugged on her arm pulling her to his body, only for them to fall back onto the grass. Dean laughed slightly and stared down at her, his hand coming to move her hair from her face, before cupping the side of her face, tilting it up so he could capture her lips.

"I hate when you do that" She breathed against his lips her eyes sparkling her hand grasping the back of his head.

"So you wouldn't want me to do it again then" Dean smirked down at her, laughing slightly when she pushed the back of his head so she could capture his lips.

"Dean" Dean pulled away and raised his brow in confusion, she sounded way to serious for his liking, especially when he had less the serous thoughts on his mind.

"Beth" Beth shook her head and lifted herself up onto her elbows her eyes locking with Deans, she shook her head, and Dean sighed slightly.

"I love you" Dean opened his mouth to speak before closing it just as fast; he bit the inside of his cheek. He knew this day was coming, he knew what he felt, knew she had felt the same thing, but he was a guy about action not feelings, especially love.

"I love you to"

Sam turned his head from the lap top and watched as his brother walked out of the bathroom in an almost daze like state. Raising his brow he removed himself from the table and watched as Dean walked over to his bed, watched as he sat down and allowed his head to drop to his hands.

Sam knew Dean was hurting, they had spent all those months looking for their father, and for them to finally find him, only to have Dean turn round and send him away. It was a tough decision but he had made the right one, Sam knew that and he was glad Dean had made it because he couldn't have, and their dad was set on coming with them, Sam may have disagreed with a lot of things their father did, but no one could say that the guy didn't care for his kids.

"Dean?" Sam questioned with concern, and when he didn't answer he made his way slowly over to his own bed and sat down on it, his eyes looking across at Dean who had now raised his head and was looking at Sam with a look of confusion.

"What do you remember about Beth?" Sam raised his brow; whatever he had been expecting from Dean that defiantly wasn't it, the question was so of field he momentarily lost the function to speak.

"She was nice, the only girl you actually dated that didn't treat me like a kid, she was the first girl you were in love with, and then erm" Dean closed his eyes and nodded his head as the memories of her and him together came back.

"She went missing" Dean looked up and bit the inside of his cheek. Him and his dad had decided it was better for Sam not to know the truth about her disappearance, had thought it would be too hard for him to take.

"Dean were is this coming from" Dean looked up again and furrowed his brow in pain, losing her the first time had been hard enough, and he had no idea why he was thinking about her now when he hadn't thought about her in nearly six years.

"Dean what aren't you telling me?" Sam question because he knew, he knew Dean was keeping something from him, could tell by the way he kept creasing his brow, and chewing the inside of his mouth.

"The night she went missing her dad came round and told us" Sam nodded his head in remembrance, he could remember the sheer panic on her fathers face, and the pain and anger on Deans face, Sam had never seen Dean look so angry and it was at that moment, it was the first time he had ever been afraid of his brother.

"Dad sent me to Pastor Jims" Dean nodded his head and laughed bitterly before jumping up from the bed and began to pace the room.

"He said he didn't want the cops asking too many questions" Dean sighed and turned to face his baby brother, and knew he had to tell him the truth, the one thing that he never wanted to tell him.

"He didn't want you to know the truth" This time it was Sams turn to jump up from the bed, he stalked across to Dean and stopped in front of him, he raised his brow and waited for him to continue

"Dean what" Dean ran his hand across his face.

"Dad went round the house, and it was covered with ESP, especially in her room." Sam opened his mouth in shock and collapsed back onto the bed.

"Beth was abducted by something supernatural"