Title: Reminiscence

Author: Kyatsuki Ora

A period of loneliness pushed this fic into shape. I do not own Gravitation

Who would have known that, in despite of every method, I still ended up meeting him? I truly didn't want to; I did hurt him so much. I don't deserve to see him again. Yet, I did.

Just getting out of the hospital from a major surgery done on my stomach, I sat on one of the benches in a park beside the hospital. My sister was coming to get me to the airport after I met with one of the 'promising' author that she wanted me to meet. My base for the international publishing company is in New York, so I never was in direct contact with my foreign authors. Because of that, my visits back home are often accompanied by various appointments with the authors here. But, I will admit that the one I just talked to shows talent. All he needs is just someone to point him out in the right direction when he needs it.

That's what editors are for anyway.

Since there are still a few minutes until she gets here, I pulled out my MP3 player. Flickering through the various songs semi-consciously, I finally settled on one of them. Leaning back on the chair, I closed my eyes and started singing along to it. I took me to the end of the song before I finally realized what song that was.

Shining Collection. The song I wrote for him for his first album.

If it wasn't because I promised Nee-san that I wouldn't go hurt myself again, I would have killed myself right now. I promised to Tohma that I would forget him! But, here I am, unable to empty that part of memory that included him. Tears threatened to toll down my cheeks from my stupidity and the bitter-sweet memories.

I can't forget. I never wanted to forget.

Three deep breaths managed to calm my mind. A cool breeze helped to calm her pumping heart. A bitter smile passed over her face. What does it matter anyway? She's going to leave Japan, and probably never come back. She'll be out of his life for good, just like what she promised. Finally opening my eyes, I realized, out of the corner of my eyes, that someone was staring at me across the street. Curious, I turned my head.

Ryuichi…

He never changed. He's always wearing clothes that make him look like a child and an adult at the same time. The same face with the eyes that can turn razor sharp in an instant. The water threatens to come out again. Part of me wanted to run over there and tell him that I am so sorry, that I should not have done what I did. And I'm begging for his forgiveness. The other part said to be quiet and keep the pledge.

After what seemed like hours, my sister finally arrived. "Are you ok?" She asked, seeing my ashen face.

Numbly, I nodded, oblivious to everything but him. With an extreme act of will, I made my legs stand and walked to the car. I looked at him one last time, mouthing my farewell.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please, somehow, someday, forgive me.

And…

I love you, Ryuichi. Goodbye, and thank you for the shining collections.

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Sorry for possible errors and reviews are much appreciated.