Rose Tyler: Defender of the Earth flopped down on her bed. She was so tired from her day of saving the world yet again. Today had been a really long day. Then again they were all long days. Ever since that one a year ago at Bad Wolf Bay.
She closed her eyes and listened to the sounds around the house. She could hear her mum singing to baby Lilly as she wailed away. It was weird being a big sister to a girl who was two decades behind her. But still, it was nice having Lilly as a part of the family. Her parents were both so happy not only with their girls but with each other. It had been weird at first, having her dad that wasn't really her dad around. But time had helped to heal that wound even if it couldn't heal them all.
The stress of the day finally caught up to Rose making her yawn. She still had a report to file not to mention all of the papers that had started piling up on her desk. She had managed to keep herself busy with her job at Torchwood. She figured if she couldn't be with her alien; why not stay as close as she could to her old life? And she had to admit that working at Torchwood wasn't as terrible as say oh, her old job as a shop girl. It was so odd to think of that old life now. Her life before Him.
A smile slowly spread across her mouth as she let herself slip into her memories of the Doctor. They didn't make her cry nearly as much any more. For the first couple of months after saying goodbye Rose couldn't bare to think about anything that reminded her of him. That included every day things like chips and tea and the telly. Then she remembered the Doctor's request from when he had sent her away from Satellite 5: Have a fantastic live he had said. And so Rose Tyler started a new life and vowed to fill that request.
Rose let out another yawn. Alright I'll lay here for 5 more minutes and then I need to get up and start working on that report…she thought. But 5 minutes turned to 10 and slowly Rose fell asleep. She was sleeping so deeply that she didn't hear Pete come home or Mickey look in on her later. And with her sleep came the dreams.
Ever since that day Rose would dream of the adventures she and the Doctor had shared together. She looked forward to sleep so she could be with her Doctor again. In some dreams it was the one with the northern accent and in others it was the one in a pinstripe suit. Sometimes the dreams would be of happy times and when she woke she was at peace. Others were of the dangers of traveling and on more than one occasion Mickey had woken her up while she screamed.
But her dream tonight was different. She knew she was on board the TARDIS but something was different. Everything seemed so cold and grey. She was floating around like a mist seeing the different rooms the TARDIS held. Finally she came to a door which she knew all to well. It was the door to her old room. The door opened and Rose went in. Her breath hitched as she looked around her unchanged room.
Everything was just as she had left it. She moved around the room just looking and remembering. There were the pictures of her mum and Mickey she had brought to help whenever she got a little homesick, her makeup and jewelry were scattered on the vanity, papers all over her desk, and her clothes cluttering up the floor. Rose went over to her bed and sat down. It seemed hard to believe that only a year ago she was living in this room on the TARDIS, seeing different worlds and times.
Rose looked down at her bedside table and saw her CD player. She reached down and opened it finding her Better than Ezra: Before the Robots CD. She laughed to herself: Just the other day she had torn the house apart trying to find this exact CD. Mickey had ended up buying her a new copy. He didn't understand why she had made such a fuss over a CD. There was a song on that CD that Rose needed to hear. Track 6: Special. It was a song that she had fallen in love with. She turned on the CD player and turned it to Special.
Just then the door to her room opened. Rose looked up to see her Doctor. He looked terrible. He had great big bags under his eyes, his hair was even more disheveled than normal, and his eyes had lost their sparkle. A sob tore from her throat. It almost killed her to see him looking so defeated.
I know it hurts Rose. I've lived with him this way for the past year a voice said. The voice was beautiful almost like someone singing. Rose looked around and realized that there was no one in the room but her, the Doctor and the TARDIS.
Who are you Rose thought to the voice?
Come on Rose! You know who I am the voice responded
You're the TARDIS aren't you Rose asked?
Yes, it's me replied the Tardis. He's been missing you so much Rose. More than you could possibly imagine.
I think I have an idea Rose said gently. She stood and followed the Doctor over to her desk where he picked up a piece of paper. She looked over his shoulder and saw it was her list of the places they had been and what they had done. She had started writing all of it down shortly after seeing the Earth die so she wouldn't forget anything.
He laughed at something she had put on the list. Rose watched as his eyes began to fill with tears. She was suddenly hit with an overwhelming sense of sadness and loneliness. She couldn't breathe as she felt the pain radiating from the Doctor.
And now you know what I feel every day I am with him the Tardis whispered into Rose's mind. Rose's eyes filled with tears as she felt the Tardis crying along with her Time Lord. She closed her eyes trying to rid her mind of all of the grief she felt from them both.
She heard the Doctor start to leave and opened her eyes. Rose saw him hit his leg against her bed and stop. He was frozen to the spot. Then it seemed like he had lost all of his energy. She watched him sink on to her bed and then lay down gently. She saw him smell her pillow. Then suddenly he popped up and let his hand rest on top of the bed.
He's saying that the bed is warm. He can't understand how that's possible the Tardis said.
The Doctor looked around the room and for a moment Rose could swear he was looking right at her. She couldn't breathe as she lost herself in his eyes. And then he looked away and the moment was broken. He looked down and saw her CD player and jerked his head back up and wildly started searching the room with his eyes.
Rose walked over to her table and saw that she had left the CD player on. The Doctor started listening to the song. Rose didn't need headphones to listen; the Tardis was playing it into her mind.
Are you real?
Are you real or just a dream?
It's been so long; I don't know.
Rose felt her mind fill with the Doctor's thoughts as the Tardis opened his mind to her. She saw herself aboard the Tardis from the Doctors view. The Tardis let her see that there were days where he still thought she was with him. She had had those days too.
She could feel his hope that she was living a good life in her own world. She knew if she could tell him how she had been doing he would be proud of her. Of her attempt to go on with her life.
Rose cried out as the Doctor starting crying again, his pain amplified by the Tardis. The words of the song meant so much to her too. For months she had kept it a secret just how special he was to her. Rose was so thankful that she had gotten a chance to tell him before it was all over.
The Doctor's thoughts filled Rose's mind. She saw his memories from the day that they met and when he took her hand in the basement. He showed her how much she had changed him from the first day to the very last one.
You know Rose, no matter who travels with him next, if there is someone else, no one will ever replace you. You were the one he needed Rose
I know that Rose thought back to the Tardis. I just wish that we could have had more time together. It's been so hard for me Tardis to just go back to a normal job. To be on Earth all the time with nowhere to go. I just wish I wouldn't have taken it for granted
And believe me I know he regrets it too. Every single day. I hope you know that I was really fond of you too Rose. Out of every companion that the Doctor has ever taken traveling, you were my favorite. You were the only one that was really his equal
Rose smiled at the Tardis' words. She had come to love the ship as much as the Doctor. And she missed "the old girl" just as much.
"I love you Rose" the Doctor whispered. Rose spun around in shock. For almost a year she had waited to hear those words. She ran to her Doctor to hug him but as her arms circled his waist she realized she couldn't touch him. It was a dream after all. Rose started crying then. It was too cruel.
Tardis can't you do anything Rose pleaded?.
I'm sorry Rose, I can't. You aren't meant to touch him yet.
What do you mean yet? Are you trying to tell me that there is a way I can? That there's a way for me to get back to him Rose's thought grew louder with each thought?
First, could you please be a bit quieter? Thanks! And secondly, I'm not sure. Trying to jump through a parallel universe is tricky. I swear I'm still working on that. But Rose there is something I need to tell you.
Back on Satellite 5 when the Doctor kissed you to remove the Time Vortex, he didn't take all of it. I wouldn't let him, he just didn't know it. This piece of the Vortex is what's been letting me keep tabs on you.
What are you talking about Rose asked confused. The Tardis was keeping tabs on her?
Yes. Keeping tabs on you. Think about it Rose, how many times have you understood different languages over the last year? I'm still inside your head Rose.
Suddenly Rose remembered back to when she had encountered some aliens a few months back. They looked just like crabs, only their pinchers were a little more deadly. Rose had swore that Mickey was just lying when he said that he couldn't understand a word they were saying.
That means I'm still connected to the Tardis Rose asked?
Yes Rose. It also means that you can reverse the connection. Get inside my head, so to speak. If you want you can talk to the Doctor just like I do. You'll also be able to feel whatever he feels just like you are now.
Rose couldn't think of anything to say. She could talk to the Doctor again? That was the thing she had wished for more than anything else in the world.
A noise from her bed brought her attention back to the Doctor. She saw him reading her letter. She vaguely remembered writing it a while back. The letter floated to the floor as the Doctor buried his head into his hands crying. Rose looked at the end of the letter. She saw that she had said those three words she never could say out loud. She smiled as the Tardis let her feel the love behind the Doctor's sadness and she knew that he would have told her that day.
Rose began to feel that nagging feeling of being awake. No! No! Not yet. Please no. Suddenly the Doctor's head came whipping up. He looked around the room again and whispered her name into the darkness.
She could feel herself waking up so quickly thought the words she needed to say My Doctor, don't forget. I love you.
As Rose woke up in her new room the Doctor's screams followed her. She realized it had all been a dream and started crying. The Tardis had given her such hope and now Rose realized that she was alone again.
Mickey's head came around the corner of her door. His concern immediately became apparent. He strode into her room, picked her up, and held her against him letting her cry. He had done this so many times for her before, but not lately. "Hey! What's wrong Rose?"
"Oh Mickey! I had this dream that I was back on the TARDIS and she was talking to me. She told me that I had a piece of the Vortex still with me, that she was still in my head, that I could talk to the Doctor. But it was just a dream" Rose choked out.
No Rose, it wasn't a dream.
As Rose began to look around, Mickey's arms around her dropped. Rose looked up into his face and saw terror. "Mickey what is it?"
"Your eyes" he stammered. "You eyes just glowed gold Rose!"
That would be me Rose. Any connection that you have with me activates the Time Vortex so your eyes will take their color.
So I really can talk to the Doctor again Rose asked praying that this wasn't another dream.
Yes Rose. You can talk to the Doctor again any time you like. Without a huge cell phone bill I might add.
How do I do it?
Just think about the TARDIS Rose. But think about it from my point of view. Think about being the TARDIS.
Rose closed her eyes ignoring Mickey's questions. She listened to the Tardis' advice and began to think of her old home. Of all of the things that she missed and loved the most. She thought of her Doctor. His crazy brown hair, his brown eyes, his pinstriped suit, his two hearts. And then she thought of her love for him.
She could feel warmth all around her. As she opened her eyes, Rose saw the Time Vortex glowing all around her. And then she heard his voice. She turned around and she was the Tardis. She saw the inside of the control room with her Doctor sitting in the pilot's chair.
I'm so proud Rose! You did it! Now just talk to him!
"Doctor" Rose/Tardis said
Rose watched the Doctor look around him in shock. She laughed at his open mouth. Never had she been able to shock him into silence before! "Doctor" Rose/Tardis said again.
"Rose" the Doctor spluttered!?