A/N: Hey, everybody! So many people liked "The Dove"—including my fiancée—that I decided to do another story about Akito and Melody. If you haven't read that one, some things in this one may not make a lot of sense, so I suggest it. In other news, I am also working on a retelling of the Secret Garden (more child friendly if you're interested). Thanks for taking the time to drop by and if you have some things that you'd like to see, please toss them my way via the review and PM system. Thanks for your support

Chapter 1

It had stormed a lot when Melody had first arrived at Sohma House. Now, it was storming in the wake of her departure. Akito lay on his side in the fold-out bed in Hatori and Kana's living room. Soon, he knew, he was going to have to man up and go back to his own room. He felt thoroughly drained no matter how much sleep he got—and he'd been sleeping a lot lately. Not even Squishie could keep him awake for long, or Tianshi, who was a pro at crawling and was now learning to walk. She could walk if she wanted to badly enough—her spread-legged gait wasn't going to get her far, but it was certainly enough to dash away from her mother during bath time. Tianshi and Squishie both seemed to know that Akito was grieving and they never gave him a moment's peace. There were times this wasn't such a big deal, but having a little hand poking under the door when one was on the toilet was kind of aggravating. Squishie would sometimes jump at him at night, pawing the covers to try and figure out where Melody was. He'd tried to be patient with everyone and everything, but the fury was building. Squishie was pawing relentlessly at his back tonight and he finally rolled over suddenly, startling the little mop.

"She's not coming back, you stupid mutt! So knock it off already!" Akito snapped. Squishie whimpered and leapt off the mattress. He didn't realize just how loud he'd been until he heard Tianshi start crying. He heard stirring in the bedroom and Hatori appeared, still only clad in boxers and a T-shirt.

"Akito? Is everything all right?"

His voice was an odd mixture of concern and sternness. Akito sighed, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Sorry," he mumbled, chastened.

Hatori glanced behind him. Akito caught a glimpse of Kana's shadow on the wall as she approached Tianshi's crib. Satisfied that the baby was being comforted, he came to sit beside Akito.

"How do I make this dumb dog understand? She's not coming back," Akito finally said, frustrated, "she keeps looking for her and scratching up the covers and biting me like I have something to do with it."

He cradled his head in his hands.

"She's a dog, Akito. She'll get used to it just being the two of you soon enough," Hatori said gently, "it's been hard on all of us. You've lost a wife…I've lost a very good friend, as has Kana and all the others. And Squishie…she's lost a master. Melody was her alpha and now she's probably afraid that you'll leave her as well."

"She's great at making me feel guilty. Maybe it is my fault. If I'd never trusted that damn Lyt…"

"We've been through this. You didn't know, and even if you had, Lyt might have found some other way to try and get what he wanted."

Akito listened to Tianshi's sobs quieting to mere whimpers.

"I know…I'm sorry for waking all of you up. Especially Tianshi."

Despite his frustrations, he was trying very hard not to take it out on the others. He'd tasted the freedom once that not having everyone scared of him had given him. Now that Melody wasn't around to help, he had to maintain these relationships all on his own. It was exhausting.

"I'll go back tomorrow," Akito promised, "I'm tired of being a pain in everyone's backside."

"There's no rush," Hatori said, smoothing the covers over him like he used to when Akito was still a kid and frequently sick, "you can stay as long as you want."

"Thanks," he mumbled, the guilt only growing. His mind was made up, though. There were no ghosts in the shadows for him to fear now, only memories. In some ways, those were worse.

"Is there anything you need?" Hatori asked.

"No. Thank you."

He retreated back to their shared room. Kana was trying to talk as softly as she could, but he could still hear her.

"Is everything all right in there? He really gave Tianshi a fright."

"Nights are hardest on him," Hatori answered, "the dog keeps trying to find Melody. She must have jumped on him or something."

"Poor puppy."

As if on cue, Squishie jumped back up on the bed. He held his hand out to her. No tears came though he felt like crying. All his tears had poured out already. He petted her in the dark, looking at the soft shine reflecting off of her big dark eyes. Thank God for dogs being so forgiving.

She isn't coming back…I know you want her to. I'd give anything if I could get her back, but there's nothing I can do. And I really don't know why Father would let her die when He has the power to make her live, but she'd want me to trust him. And I'm trying…I'm trying so hard…but I don't have anything left in me to give.

The next morning, he stirred his tea listlessly. It felt like he was navigating on autopilot. Tianshi was more interested in trying to grab things and throw them than eating her breakfast. A harassed-looking Kana was trying to keep an eye on her and the food at the same time. At last, the food was on the table and she didn't have to worry about it. Those little hands never seemed to stop moving.

"Tianshi, you're going to need a bath," Kana sighed, wiping her chin, "we're getting more on your clothes than in your tummy!"

Splat! Some of the rice sloshed out of her bowl and hit the floor where Squishie promptly devoured it.

"Uh-oh…" Akito remarked. Tianshi shrieked with giggles. Now, she'd figured out a new game altogether: feeding the dog. Squishie only encouraged this by sitting up on her hind legs and begging.

"Squishie, out!" Akito ordered, but Squishie only went as far as the doorway and stopped. She seemed to be intent on disobeying him on every technicality today. Hatori emerged, examining the scene with barely veiled amusement under his usual solemn expression.

"Not hungry, I see…well, then you won't mind if I just take this, will you?"

Hatori picked the little pink bowl up and Tianshi howled in protest. Kana gave him an "are you insane" look, but he knew exactly what he was doing.

"All right," he said, giving it back, "but you'd better eat it this time."

Tianshi looked over at Squishie, almost regretfully, then obediently opened her mouth for the next spoonful.

"Well…I learn new things about you ever day," Kana said gratefully, "how on earth did you do that?"

Hatori poured himself some coffee and helped himself to his own breakfast.

"Over a hundred Sohmas live around here—that doesn't count the ones in the surrounding areas. At least half of them are children. Starting to get it?" he asked, "Besides, that was the only way Akira could get Akito to eat half the time."

Akito made a face.

"Leave me out of this, O Wise Dragon," he said warningly, "before I tell Kana how you had an Epic Transformation Fail with that drunken college girl at med school."

"You're making that up."

"Am I?"

Kana giggled.

"I haven't heard this story yet," she said mischievously.

"Oh, look at the time. I have to go open the clinic."

He pecked her on the forehead, then kissed his very messy baby girl on the forehead. She giggled and he ducked, avoiding those grabby little hands. The long bangs that covered his damaged eye were strangely appealing to Tianshi.

"See you both at lunch…I'm sure Tianshi will look lovely in whatever color the soup is."

Despite his growing longing that Melody could be there to share in the laughter, Akito chuckled a little. Had he really wanted one of these things? Tianshi was sweet, of course, but she was very tiring. He couldn't see how Kana did it.

"All right, Missy, let's get you cleaned up," Kana said, "Akito, did you need anything?"

He shook his head.

"No, thank you."

He waited until the two disappeared into the bathroom. Kana began to sing a song that Melody often sang. Sighing deeply, he picked up his suitcase. Then, he put it down, made the bed neatly, then retreated soundlessly. And Squishie followed.

The room had a musty feel to it after being closed off this long. He opened the window to let in some fresh air after making sure the rain was going the other direction. It ruffled his hair and blew some papers off the desk, but he ignored those. That cold air felt so good. Squishie, of course, went snuffing around every corner until she was sure that Melody wasn't around. Akito looked around.

He had never felt this alone in his life.

There were little reminders of her everywhere. Her books were still by the tub. Her radio was still here, and still on. Her clothes were still in the partly open closet. It was as if this room had been frozen in time. He looked at the huge bed they'd both shared and wondered how he'd manage to sleep in here. Sleeping made him forget how much he hurt, but it also brought back the memories. Sliding open the doors a bit, he looked out at the impending storm. He wished it would stop raining—he hated being wet when it rained, but he missed being outside. It was the one thing that always brought him comfort. Now, the flowers were being beaten down by the rain, their colorful petals laying ruined in the mud.

Kana returned with a much cleaner Tianshi. Puzzled, she noticed that Akito and Squishie were missing. Squishie's food and water bowl were gone and the pull-out was very neatly made. Laying in the center was a slightly rumpled piece of paper. She picked it up.

Hatori and Kana,

Thank you for letting me stay here and taking care of me. I owe you much more than I will ever be able to repay. I thought it was time Squish and I moved back to our own room (for both yours and Tianshi's sake, as I seem to be gifted at waking her up in the middle of the night). Also, sorry about not telling you this in person. Today is just one of those days. I wanted to be alone.

His name was signed at the bottom in Chinese characters. Kana sensed the awkwardness in his hesitating pen-strokes and wording. She understood, though.

"Poor guy," she said as Tianshi tried to grab at the paper, "I don't think he wanted to say goodbye, do you?"

Tianshi made a noise and crammed a corner of the note in her mouth.

Akito was laying spread out on the bed the way Melody used to lay. He was on his stomach with her laptop open in front of her. Resisting the temptation to scroll through her millions of pictures, he instead had brought up several different university websites in different browser tabs. Each one had its own list of requirements. Those were no big deal—he had finished high school two years early by correspondence and home-schooling because of his constant bouts of porphyria and the recurring fevers. Hatori had written to those schools. Having a doctor on hand 24/7 had been a blessing. Now, he was considering doing something that was very un-Akito-like. His eyes panned the screenshots of happy-looking students on campus and in classrooms. He'd never really fit in anywhere, but what would it be like to be just one in the crowd? To have them not know about his infamous temper and constant illness? He wasn't sure what he wanted to study, but he was sure of one thing: he wanted out of this damn house. At least for a little while. He wanted to go somewhere that was neutral, that was free of memories and shadows. And now that he was stronger and actually healthy, he could do so. But which one? He didn't want to go so far from home that he couldn't return at night or on the weekends. He did want to go far enough that someone had not yet heard of the infamous "Sohmas". There were too many decisions to make. He thought he was used to such things.

There was a knock on the door. Kyoko brought in a tray of food which she knew would probably go mostly uneaten, but at least she'd brought it.

"What are you up to over here?" she asked kindly. He was glad she didn't ask how he was doing—he truly hated that question.

"Looking at colleges," he responded.

"Oh? Planning on getting a degree?"

"Maybe. I don't know what kind. There's so many…"

"I think that's wonderful. Not many of us here have gone to college. You'll be one of the first, other than Hatori."

He shrugged as she leaned over his shoulder to look at the screen.

"You know, Melody would be very proud of you."

He sat up, accepting the steaming mug of tea. He realized, with a slight shock, that the computer clock read 7:30. He'd lost track of time completely.

"Thank you," he said gratefully, "you are the one who said I should keep going as if she'd never left."

"She hasn't," Kyoko said, "just yesterday, I saw a white dove out there. And I felt so strongly that it was her. It held my gaze much longer than an ordinary bird would."

Akito sipped the tea, somewhat envious that she hadn't yet come to him.

"Did she get close?" Akito asked.

"No. Just stayed perched in one of those cherry trees you're so fond of."

As if reading his mind, she said, "I'm sure she spends more time following you than you realize. Just because you can't see her doesn't mean she isn't there. She'll show herself if she thinks it's time."

More to satisfy Kyoko (and consequently all the others who were bound to ask) than actual hunger, Akito nibbled on the food she'd brought him. It was a trick he'd learned at a young age when people worried—he'd make it seem like he was eating more than he actually would, then rearrange the rest of the food to make it look like he'd had enough.

"It's been almost two weeks," he complained, "we've had the funeral and everything. Does she expect me to do everything without her?"

Squishie flopped over on the pillow with a sigh. Akito glanced sideways at her.

"At the very least, she could do it for this miserable mutt. She never stops looking for her. I'm not…affectionate enough to have a dog."

Kyoko merely smiled, stroking Squishie's unkempt fur.

"That's precisely why she left her here for you. She's teaching you how. Remember when Melody first arrived? You had all the cuddliness of a porcupine."

Akito smiled a little.

"But you have grown so much since then. I don't think you're as inept as you think you are."

It was after midnight by the time he finally dared to shut the computer down. Squishie had been coming and going through the foot-wide space he'd left for her with the door. He finally now closed it and changed for bed. Squishie's big, dark eyes bored a hole in him.

"What?" he asked.

She curled up on Melody's side on her pillow. Akito shrugged—at least it wasn't completely empty. Frowning, he slid between the sheets. A gale wind picked up outside and howled through the gardens. The poor trees had been losing a lot of their buds and they twisted and rattled bare branches as if to protest the wind. He watched the shadows dancing there, but reminded himself there was nothing to fear. The house was no longer captive to things that had power over them. He let his eyes slide closed. Squishie cuddled closer to him. It seemed to be getting colder. Where on earth was spring?! It was already past due. Eventually, he stopped shivering enough to go to sleep, though it was a very light and fitful sleep. By morning, he felt more tired than if he had just stayed up. He let Squishie out and promptly got the shower as hot as it would go.

The children were heading off to school just after he'd gotten dressed. He saw them emerging from the house in their uniforms. Isuzu and Hatsuharu both had one and two years respectively. Someone else was watching the baby while they were there. He suspected Kana might have taken Akira. Tohru, Kyo, and Yuki were probably going to meet up with them at some point in town. He felt a slight pang—they'd all been together a lot the last week, but they all had to return to school now. Momiji, Kisa, and Hiro were all walking out together as well. It didn't surprise Akito at all that Kisa slipped her hand into Hiro's. Things were still a bit uncomfortable between Hiro and himself, but he had to admit it was getting better. Both could relate to each other faking stoicism when they didn't feel it. Akito gave a resigned sigh. Life was going on and he had to accept it.

"I'm trying," he said out loud, "I really am. But I could use a hand here…"

There was a knock at the door. Akito slid it back to reveal Shigure.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, surprised.

"Well, the house is really empty without Tohru, Kyo, and Yuki," Shigure said, "Aya was busy and Hatori's trying to stitch the leg up of a very cranky toddler, so he's out. I thought I'd come see if you had any plans."

That was fast…he thought, stunned.

"Well, now that you mention it," Akito said, stepping back to let him in, "I know you at least spent some time at university before you got kicked out. I was thinking of attending during the summer term. Maybe you could help me out?"

"The Great Akito is asking for my help?! Why, I'm flattered!" Shigure began on one of his melodramatic dialogues.

"Save it for your books, Mutt," Akito muttered, interrupting him. Squishie bark-sang a greeting to Shigure and he picked her up to pet her. She always got happy to see everyone, but Shigure had a special way with dogs because of his former dog-spirit. The animal-attraction never went away despite the curse breaking and Yuki was somewhat relieved by that because he still had help with the garden. Kyo, on the other hand, was very disappointed.

"I'd be happy to show you around," Shigure said, dropping the act, "but only if we can take this cute little thing with us! Girls love fluffy dogs like this."

"I'd rather we didn't," Akito said, "she gets carsick. She completely wrecked the upholstery."

"That's too bad," Shigure said, scratching her behind the ears, "another time, maybe."

Akito followed him out to the car. Squishie didn't like being left behind, but she'd probably forget in the next five minutes. It was good to get away from the house.

"Do you know what you're looking for?" Shigure asked.

"Something with a smaller class size," Akito said promptly, "I still don't really like crowds that much. And something that isn't super-expensive. Just because I have it doesn't really mean I want to throw it around in public."

"That's a wise decision," Shigure said, turning, "you'll keep all the gold-diggers away."

Akito made a face.

"I'd hope to keep them all away," he said with a grimace, "I don't even want to think about other women. Especially not now."

"Can't say I blame you. I'd give a few internal organs to find a woman like her."

"Stop hanging out in bars and help your chances," Akito retorted, "how can you expect someone like Melody to go for you when you reek of cheap sake?"

"You do have a good point."

The clouds were still hanging low over the city, but a tiny shaft of sunlight was breaking through. Day one of his journey had begun.