Set Fire to the Rain – MerDer
(Set in 2x23 after Derek comes to Finn's place with Doc and sees Meredith there half naked and wet. AU take on what could have happened after! (Oh, and yes, I know in the episode it isn't raining, but for the sake of the story pretend that it is))
I set fire to the rain
Watched it pour as I touched your face
Well, it burned while I cried
'Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!
Mere wasn't sure what caused her to excuse herself to Finn and run out into the rain after Derek as he left. She knew fully well she didn't owe him an explanation, but they were friends these days, and she didn't want them to have any misunderstandings, especially not anyone that would get aired the next day at work, at some uncomfortable time. That was why she had excused herself to Finn while he continued to do further tests on Doc in the clinic. Why she had slipped her shoes back on and run outside after Derek calling his name, in the hope he would stop so they could discuss this like they had when she slept with George. At that time, he had been the one to stay calm and advise her on what to do, how to apologize. However, he didn't stop it was sort of like he was ignoring her calls and that bothered her, it made her angry and upset. They were supposed to be friends, friends who laughed together over how Addison was frustrated over the lack of sex, or rather bad sex, friends who suggested doing the bendy thing in the shower to help, friends who talked and walked their dog together, so he should stop and listen to her. He didn't though which meant she only caught up to him when he was at the car, unlocking it and opening the door to get in.
She was the one who slammed it shut and glared at him in frustration while slightly out of breath after how she had been running after him. He spun around to face her the instance it happened, and she could see the anger and jealousy in his eyes, while they also flickered with something else, she thought it might be pain, but she wasn't completely sure. She felt frustrated over seeing his eyes burn and bore into her own like that. He was the married one, he was the one who had picked his wife. He didn't get to be angry or jealous over whatever it was he thought he had seen in there, it was none of his business, which was in some way ironic, as she had still run after him like she needed to explain it to him after all.
As she had run to him she had used the excuses of being his friend and how they were these days, but as she faced him now she was pretty sure it was just excuses. Excuses and delusion like most things between them, like when he had come to see her after she almost got blown up. A part of her had known it was an excuse from his side there as well, just like she had felt when he was there. They had been fooling themselves when they had tried to be friends these last few weeks, but her life was a mess, and being near him again, and feeling relaxed. and comforted. That felt so nice! So, she had allowed herself to do the make-believe thing, that kids did and pretend they could just be friends, that they were just friends now. However, the way he looked at her now wasn't friendly, the rawness of it was in many ways as stormy as the wind and air around them. The rain soaking through Finn's shirt that was the only thing she had put on besides her panties.
She wrapped her arms around herself, as she tried to keep glaring at him, after all she was angry over that he dared get angry and upset by this, he had no right to be, he wasn't supposed to be! Yet his eyes, and the burn in them made her skin prickle in small goosebumps, or maybe that was just the rain and wind that was also making her cold, except she wasn't particular cold, not when he was staring at her like he was now. Not when his anger, and jealous seemed to be pushed away for a burn of desire. A desire that actually made her feel like flicks of heat was brushing over her skin, instead of the wet and cold rain.
She had been full of words, as she ran after him, but standing there she couldn't find them. Even if she was still angry and upset that he dared to feel that way when he was the one who had broken her heart and had chosen to stay with his wife. She was the one who was alone in bed at night and had felt more broken than she had ever thought possible.
"Go back inside Meredith!" He was the one that broke the silence between them. The words sounded harsh, and angry. She had been prepared for that the moment!
She locked eyes with him, but it still made her tense up a bit and shiver a bit more, like she finally noticed the cold wind blowing around them. She also wasn't even sure what to reply to his words. Following what he said would be given in, which she didn't want to, but not doing so would mean she needed to find her voice again.
"No!" She stated. Well, at least it was probably better than how she often rambled, and her voice had thankfully not sounded broken or weak. She had been able to spit the word out with the anger over how he dared order her around like that, and be angry with her.
His eyes grew harder at her reply, and his body seemed to tense up as well.
"Fine then stay out here and catch a cold, I am going home!" He snorted, and begun to open the car door again, but she slammed it back in while she moved so her back rested against it and he would actually have to forcefully remove her to be able to get in.
"You don't get to be angry with me!" She hissed at him, glad that she had found her voice again, and felt the anger pulse in her blood once more.
"Then get out of my way so I can go home!" He snapped back at her and she snorted.
"Ohhh drop it Derek, that isn't why you are angry! You were already angry in there! You were angry from the second you saw that I was there as well!" She replied, as she straightened her back. She knew it was the truth, and she saw it confirmed in his eyes, however she hadn't expected his reply.
"Go back into your boyfriend Meredith, ohh right I forgot you don't do those. So, what is he another one nights stand? Should I expect having to help him get his erection down tomorrow at work as well?" He spat at her, and she gasped in surprise before her hand came up, she wasn't about to take that, he didn't get to speak to her like that. However, she never managed to actually slap him as a part of her had intended, after all he had quick reflexes, he always had. So, she felt his hand lock around her wrist before she even got close. His grasp was hard but not enough to really hurt, but enough to that she might bruise lightly the next day, if she tried to pull her hand free.
However, it did seem that her move had been the piece, that made the all the water in that bucket or whatever it was, the saying was, flow over. As he used his hold on her hand to pull her in and the next second his lips had slammed down on hers. Silencing anything she had tried to come up with, making her feel faint and drunk on him. The annoying effect he always had on her body and mind, when he kissed her and held her. She automatically wrapped her other arm around him, clinging to him as she felt her knees start to grow weak, from how passionately he was kissing her. Their tongues dancing, his fingers finding the wet tangles of her hair and pushing it back, guiding her head to the ankle he wanted.
His lips left her mouth, and she groaned as he found the hallow between her ear and throat, where he sucked on the skin enough to make her sigh and moan deeply. She knew he might very well leave a mark, but for a second, she didn't care much. It was all too much. She found herself pressing kisses against his face, teeth, lips. She just wanted to touch him, as she had longed for and dreamed about for months. Dreams that had left her panting and crying in bed, wishing he had been with her once more.
She clung to him for a moment longer, kissing him back once more, when his mouth caught hers again, before it was like she found her senses of reality once more. Realized what it was she was doing and how she couldn't do this. That she couldn't be this to him. Then she pushed against him and broke the kiss. Anger and pain filling her, along with confusion, he wasn't allowed to put her in that place again, she wasn't about to be his dirty mistress again.
"No... don't..." She whispered, pushing at his chest the best she could with one hand. She knew if he kept holding her, kept kissing her, she would give in and she couldn't do that. It was the one thing she couldn't, she wasn't that person. She couldn't do this, she needed to get away.
She pulled and pushed away from him not that it helped, after all she had been the one to step between him and his car, which was now hindering her escape, not to mention the hold he still had on her wrist. The hold he used to pull her back against his chest once more. His lips covering hers again swallowing up the protests that died on her lips. He kissed her harder now. She kept pushing against his chest, though her fingers were also digging into the material of his jacket, clutching in it as she whimpered softly from how he was kissing her. His fingers were caressing the nap of her neck, brushing her wet hair back and pulling enough at it to make her moan in the back of her throat from pure pleasure. She gasped in surprised, when he bit her bottom lip only to suck it between his teeth and caress it with his tongue after, before his tongue went back to roaming the depths of her mouth. She wanted to fight against the need and warmth already filling her. The craving she felt to give in, to be with him again. The one man she had ever loved, the one man she had ever imagined might be it for her, the one she had allowed to imagine might accept her for who she was; mother with Alzheimer and issues with her father and everything. She knew, she should fight him off, that this would be a mistake that letting him make her this woman. It might be even worse than being the girl, she had been when she begged for him to love her and pick her. However, feeling his hard frame press against hers and his fingers cradling her cheek was too tempting, too irresistible. She sighed into the kiss and sucked on his tongue, making him moan so deeply, she almost wondered, if it had begun to thunder around them. She groaned when he let go of her wrist and his free hand went to her bare thigh pulling it up and around his waist. She was quick to wrap it around him, and let him pick her up, his other hand having left her cheek to lift her up easier. She grounded herself against him. Pressing him fully against her and letting her feel the evidence of his desire for her where she needed it the most. She moaned softly, whimpered in need for him. She noticed he carried her a bit, but she wasn't sure why or where until she felt the cold steel under her butt and against her bare thighs. That was when she realized he had placed her on top of the hood of his car.
One of his hands was making quick work on the shirt she had been wearing pushing it up and out of the way. She found the zipper on his jacket and pulled it down and brushed it off him letting it fell soundless onto the wet grass, not that either of them really cared. At least she didn't, and it seemed he was of the same mind. She let her fingers dig into his shoulders and pulled him closer not that there was much space left between then as it was. She sighed and whimpered as he broke off the kiss and let his lips drift along her jaw line and neck nibbling and sucking on a spot behind her ear, while his fingers pulled the buttons at the top of the shirt open baring more of her skin to his hungry mouth. He found her pulse point and kissed on it, nibbled at it, something she was sure would leave a mark.
A mark? The words registered in her mind, and she was suddenly pulled back to reality of what she was doing. They were outside where anyone could catch them. Not just that they were outside of her date's house. Her date that knew Derek was married. He was married. She was being the dirty mistress again, and she stiffened up while she begun to push him away once more. She couldn't do this, it was too much.
He must have felt it, as he seemed to grow even more persistent in, how he let his teeth skim over the muscle of her shoulder scaping his teeth along the skin before sucking on it. However, she let go of his shoulders, and tried to push him away again.
"Stop… Derek… we can't!" She tried to convince him, or maybe it was herself. She wasn't even really sure. "I can't."
-I can't? even the words sounded absurd in her ears. What was it she couldn't? Want him? Every part of her burned in desire for him. She wanted him, like she always seemed to when he first touched her. She wanted him more, than she had ever wanted anyone else. Deny him? Well that was also true. It was so hard to deny him, and yet she knew she should. Not doing so would make her a terrible person, make them both terrible people. Turn her into that girl, the dirty mistress! The one, her very much married boss, screwed because he had bad sex at home, and because he couldn't take anyone else having her.
She wasn't even sure what it was, she was trying to say anymore; not when his lips found a pebbled nipple and sucked on it through the shirt, making her moan in pleasure.
-I can't love you...even if I do… after all how could she not, he was her McDreamy, the one man she had ever loved.
He didn't seem to hear her plea of how they couldn't do this. At least there were no reaction from him beside stifling a little for a second. However, the next she found herself whimpering again in pain mixed with pleasure, as he pinched her nipple hard. He quickly brushed his thumb over it once again, soothing the pain, before pinching it again, making her moan both in pleasure and pain.
Derek apparently picked this time to pull back and look at her. She could read the passion and fire in his eyes. His need and desire, so raw it made her squirm for the sheer intensity. However, it wasn't the desire that made her cup his face, it was the glimpse of pain she saw in his gaze. She cupped his cheeks between her hands, and ran her fingers over his skin, rubbing the raindrops of him, before she pulled his face back to her and kissed him again. It was an instinct to her in many ways just like breathing. She wasn't sure, she had ever seen him with the level of pain in his eyes, maybe when he told her about what happened between Mark and Addison, but she didn't think so, not really. Or actually there had been one other time, when he had showed up at her doorstep after that bomb. This was different though, it was still as messy, and she still hated what it would make her, but there they had been able to hold themselves back from what she had so longed for. Now that option seemed gone.
"We shouldn't do this!" She mumbled against his lips, but he was the one pulling her closer to him once more, slanting his mouth over hers in one soaring kiss after another. He cupped her breast again, the nipple hardening further under his thumb, as he rubbed it above the shirt. She let out another high pinched whimper, when he pinched her nipple only to sooth it over by rubbing it softly between two of his fingers, before he repeated the action once more.
She sighed as she felt his hand sliding down her body to the hem of the shirt resting around her hips. His palm massaging her outer thigh lightly before she felt how his finger crept up along her inner thigh to brush against her already wet panties. She sighed against his lips, as he caressed her there, rubbing the folds gently. His lips pressed against her neck as he groaned in appreciation of finding out how ready she was, at least she assumed it was that, considering how he used the chance to lick and nibble on her neck once more. She moaned again, as he pushed the satin aside before his fingers brushed over her now naked core, slick with her wetness. Wetness she was pretty sure was more or less, seeping out of her. She sighed, as his finger begun to caress the soaked flesh before he slid a long and thick finger into her while his thumb found her clit and began rubbing it. She groaned and clenched down on the digit in her. She squirmed against him, as he let another finger join the first, curling them both upward to reach her g-spot making her moan deeply, as she let her head fall to his shoulder trying to burry the sound into his shirt. Especially when he begun to move his fingers in and out of her, making sure to hit just the right spot that made her delirious with pleasure on each thrust in.
She groaned, as she felt him stretch her a little by adding a third finger to the mix twisting and scissoring them in her, pushing her closer and closer to the edge with each thrust of his hand. She wrapped her legs tighter around him in a need to feel him closer to her body as her inner walls squeezed and clenched around his fingers. She was so close to the edge already, and that was when he pulled his fingers out making her groan in annoyance from the loss. She felt him guide her head up and their eyes locked, she could see the question in them. Of course, he would fully ask in the end, even if she had already given him permission long ago to have her body again. He lifted his fingers to his mouth, and she couldn't help but lick her lips as he sucked the juices of his fingers. She let her feet dig into his thighs pulling him in closer, before she cupped his face again and kissed him greedily once again. She slid her hands down over his chest and pulled his pants open and pushed them down while their tongues caressed and danced once again. She ran her hand over his erection a few times, enjoying the feel of how he twisted under her fingers like he always had.
"You always looked irresistible when you have just showered!" He growled into her neck, as he adjusted her legs around him, making her whimper in response.
"I was going to go home, and screw Addison just as you told me to Mer… but I would have been thinking about you the whole time, wishing it was you. I wanted you, not her. Why do you think everything have been terrible? Every time I am with her, and I close my eyes for just a second, I think of you. Your giggle, your smiles, your lips and your eyes. I need you Meredith Grey." She swallowed hard, as she stared into his eyes letting his words sink in. It was messy, everything with them was messy, but she needed him too. All thoughts of Finn, Dinner and Doc seemed to have disappeared, like far away things that didn't matter outside this bubble. She pulled him into her and kissed him again.
She tightened her hold on him and pulled him in closer with her legs. His hands slid down to her hips and pulled her even closer, while she felt how he adjusted himself, so his tip pressed against her soaking folds. She sighed, as he carefully slid into her, inch after inch, making her whimper in pleasure, as he stretched her, until he was locked in her. He didn't really let her adjust, before he withdrew only to push back in deeper and harder this time. She groaned over the pleasurable burn from no longer being used to his size, and then suddenly being stretched by him to her very limit once again, it was both intense and wonderful at once. This time he stayed locked in her for a couple of seconds. She pulled at his lower lip, before she felt his tongue lick along her own, slipping into her mouth to once more caress and mate with hers; the same way their bodies were right in that moment. She sucked on his tongue lightly, making him groan into her mouth, while he also begun to move in and out of her.
He held her tight against him, and she pressed herself even closer, a part of her hated that their shirts separated their skin, but she wasn't about to pause to pull them off. Especially not when he slid deep into her, so deep she wondered if he was some trying to make sure they could never separate again. She let her head fall back, and his lips made a wet trail down along her cheek to her throat and neck, where he sucked and kissed the sensitive skin. He ran his tongue up her throat until he reached the spot just behind her ear, that he had learned long ago gave her so much pleasure, and he started to suck on the soft skin there. She gasped and moaned in response, as she moved with him, her legs wrapped tightly around his waist. She whimpered in surprise as he lightly pulled at her earlobe and nibbled on it. Her own lips pressing against his throat in response. They carefully continued to move together. Their lips meeting again, brushing and caressing each other. Their hands seemingly trying to pull each other even closer than they already were. She felt her pleasure built, steadily, until she started to convulse in her passion, clenching down on him. She grabbed on to his shoulders, feeling lightheaded. She gasped and moaned in the intense pleasure she felt. He groaned, as she fell over the edge and he followed her.
She let her head rest on his shoulder as she felt his hands smooth up and down her back like he was trying to comfort her. His lips were pressing against her face and cheek. Minutes passed and neither of them seemed to have any intention to move. Their bodies were still connected, and she could feel the evidence of their release wet, slick and sticky between her thighs. In a way it was ironic or more like sad that the first time they were together with no barrier between them, there were more metaphorical barriers than before. At least that was what she would think later when she showered at home washing his scent of her skin again, still sticky from their union. Right there she didn't really think of anything except breathing in the smell of him.
The sound of a car on a nearby street was what finally made them pull apart, the screeching and horn broke through the bubble they had been in like a loud wakeup call telling them where they were and how lucky they really were that no one had caught them right there on the street. Derek actually almost jumped apart from her and she shuddered a little from how cold she suddenly felt. Cold, and wet and not in a sensual or erotic way, but in a way that made her shudder. She was actually more than a little grateful that he was her McDreamy in that moment, as he was still the guy who couldn't stand a woman feeling cold so the next the second, she felt his jacket being wrapped around her. Not that it mattered much, considering that it had been soaked through by the rain, but it was still a nice gesture. He must have realized that it was a vain attempt, as he begun rubbing her arms up and down almost instantly. She wasn't sure what to say or do why she for a moment just sat there shivering on the car as he rubbed her shoulders.
She had just gone from being a dirty mistress to an adulterous whore. Derek was still married, and she would still be alone in her bed that night, no matter how different it had felt in the moments they had just shared.
"We should get you into the car, Mer. You might catch a cold." His words broke the silence between them, but she could only shake her head.
"I need to go back inside, Finn is testing Doc, and my things are in there." She answered instead and this time when she pushed against Derek, he did move. She was able to slide off the hood of the car. The wet earth got up between her toes and felt as cold and sticky as she felt in that moment. She couldn't stay there with Derek though, not when she would in a moment likely hear some apology for what he had done or how he was still married. She just couldn't deal with that right now as well.
"Meredith?" He called to her as she had already begun walking towards Finn's house. She had no clue how she would explain this to her date, or what she could even say to him. She hoped he would just give her some dry clothes, so she could go home and curl up in her own shower where no one could see or hear her, maybe she could call Cristina after that. She might know what to do. Though she wasn't sure if it would be a good idea. She might run right over to Derek and yell at him.
"Meredith… what does this mean?" She registered Derek's words and spun around to face him as she shook her head at him and held her hands up to indicate she had no clue what it meant.
"You tell me… I am not the married one!" Was all she could come up with as a reply right there. He might have said something else, she didn't know, after all the wind was howling and made it hard to even hear her own thoughts right there, and in a way, she thought that might be good, after all how could she answer him when she had no idea what it meant. He was still the one who held the cards in this game. He was the married one, the one who had commitments and who had picked someone else. After all, even as she free as she was, after all Finn was just one date, Derek was not, so how could he ask her what it meant. She should be the one to ask that, and yet she hadn't dared to stick around and wait for answer, because she feared what the answer would be. She feared it would break her heart once more.
This is a oneshot, so you have to imagine what happened after… in my head they probably speed things up a little and Derek came to her like in the beginning of season 3, and since Finn was already out of the picture they likely got together there. But as I said I will leave it to the readers to imagine what happened next.