I have always hated the feeling of my fingernails breaking, getting snagged on threads, getting bent. It drives me insane. I kept my fingernails short, then you left, and I didn't care anymore, I slept in an air mattress in the kitchen, so I wouldn't have to walk. When I walked, every step reverberated though my skin, it made we want to vomit, no-one was here to muffle the vibrations anymore. I know why I was so sick, a few weeks ago. And its yours. I'm pregnant.

It snowed today, the twins came by, Fred and George, they invited me to come to the burrow for Christmas, I turned them down, they said they'd come by on Christmas than, incase I changed my mind, you'll be happy to know I'm keeping healthy. Prenatal vitamins. Balanced meals. All that shit.

Its Christmas, the twins will be back anytime. There bringing Ginny, and Hermione, and Ron, and Luna and Neville, I guess whoever else they feel like bringing to. I guess I have to move my air mattress. The muggle thing, you know, or you don't, you probably don't even fucking care. I have to set up, I'm sure they'll end up spending the night.

I took some anti-depressants and they put me in a good mood, we all drank (I drank apple juice) and played spin the bottle, and then ate cakes, then we played strip poker, thank god for glamour charms, no-one knows I'm pregnant. Neville and Luna went to bed, god only knows what there doing, I gave them the attic room. Then Hermione and Ron took the guest bedroom, Ginny left. And the twins made out in the basement. In the muggle world incest isn't...smiled Upon...so It was awkward. Thanks everyone for coming over, getting drunk, and shagging in my house. I really needed sex. I called Seamus Finnigan. He'll be here soon. An easy fuck.

I'm making breakfast. Seamus is gone, I called him Draco. I'm sorry, I promised myself I would never do that. There's two months till I'm due. I made a pack of breakfast patties, the organic, veggie ones you always ate...luna...or Something, everyone seemed to like it.

We went shopping. I got a receiving blanket. While we where out. I said it was for a friend. It was all I needed.

Its been a month since my last letter, because they all came back, untouched, unwanted. Im huge, a whale, the twins came by, I put on my invisibility cloak and sat in the corner. They left. And my water broke.

I was a month early. I needed no help, I had some potions, I drank them, and I gave birth. It was not easy. It took what felt like a day and a half. It was a girl. I had read somewhere that the first breast milk is breast milk is best for babies, its called colostrum. So I breastfed it. I did not care for me. Only for it. Then I wrapped it up in the thick receiving blanket. I walked through the snow, on the dark alley to the twins flat and left it, her. I left a warming spell over her, she drifted to sleep and I rang the doorbell and apperatted.

home, to the basement. I took my rope and tied it to the rafter, and put my head though it, I kicked the stool out from my own feet. right is I heard it, a faint "Harry?" at the door, it was your voice. I know it. I could not scream, I could not breathe. I ripped at the rope, bending my nails, breaking them, snagging them. I heard your footsteps. I slowly slipped into darkness, you were to late.