Thoughts And Feelings!
A/N: Set after TWO BODIES IN THE LAB! There's SPOILERS! This is my absolute favourite episode ever! Booth and Brennan for ever!
Summary: Brennan thinks about her life, friends, work, Booth and her soul. BB!
Chapter 1! It Matters Where My Soul Goes!
The dogs are barking all around her, She's thankful they're tied up but knows they won't be for long. She knows he's planning on feeding her to them, well after he kills her.
He says he's not like Hollings, he says she won't feel anything. But he told her what he's going to do.
He's going to kill her, plain and simple.
He's going to make her unrecognisable.
He's going to use a key to gouge out her eyes… she's sure that last one will be fun.
But he assures her she won't feel anything.
But it doesn't matter that she won't feel anything it matters she won't be alive.
It matters she won't be breathing once he pulls the trigger of the gun.
It matter that he's lying, she's feeling things now.
She feels helpless, for the first time in her life since she was 15. when she was 15 she was able to save herself but that seemed out of the question now.
He says she won't feel anything but is he telling the truth?
It doesn't really matter if he is or he isn't either way she's pretty sure she'll die.
It matters that she doesn't know what will happen to her when she's dead, not just what he'll no with her body, whatever he'll do she'll have no control.
Just like the fact she'll have no control of where she goes when she's dead, not her body but her soul.
It's strange for her to think of her soul, she never has before.
But now she is, she's thinking about her soul. And about where her soul will go.
She doesn't believe in heaven, she doesn't believe in hell, she doesn't know what she believes. She knows there's not a perfect happy wonderland up in the clouds where you go if you're good, she knows there's not a hot sauna underground with fire and brimstone. She knows that it's a myth but what she doesn't know is what there is, she doesn't know where she'll go when she's dead.
And she wants to.
She wants to so badly, it's not a logical desire but it's one she has and it's one she wants to come true.
She wants to do everything she's never done.
She wants to go out with Angela again, she wants to teach Zach everything she knows, she wants to learn more about Hodgins, wants to learn from and talk with Dr Goodmen more, she wants to tell Booth she missed him when he wasn't there to work on cases with her.
It was then she realised she didn't want to go to dinner with David.
She wants to stay with Booth.
She realises she wants to sit in his hospital room with him and talk about pudding.
She wants Booth to explain everything he's said to which she's had to reply 'I don't know what that means'.
She wants to have him tease her about 'Hot Blooded', as he called it her 'guilty pleasure song'.
She wants to listen to it with him.
She wants anything to happen but Sanders to pull the trigger.
She wants to be dancing in her living room with Booth.
She wants to be alive.
She want Booth, her knight in shining FBI standard-issue body armour, as Angela had called him, to storm in and save her, but she knows that can't happen.
He's in a hospital bed on the other side of town.
He's not going to be able to save her.
She's crying for the fact that she never told Booth she loves him, she's not surprised at that thought, it's always been there in the back of her mind.
She's crying for the fact she's not sure where her soul will go.
She's crying because when he pulls the trigger her life will be over.
Sanders is talking to her, he's raising the gun to her head. He's going to pull the trigger, she knows it.
Temperance closes her eyes, preparing herself for the end.
She starts to panic… where will her soul go?
Then she decides if she's going to die she has to have some control over what would happen. So she decides.
And she hopes heaven nice.
She hears shots but feels no pain.
Temperance opens her eyes and sees Sanderson on the floor and Booth walking over to her. She's crying harder now. Tears of happiness, relief, overwhelming adrenaline pumps through her veins. Booth takes the gag out of her mouth and she can breath through her mouth without feeling the cloth anymore. He's looking into her eyes and she swears she can see love in them, just like her eyes must be showing him. She wonders if he's looking. He tries to untie her hands from the rope and the hook. He couldn't, he was too weak. She expects him to ask someone else to do it, so he won't have to be in pain. But what he does surprises her, he put his head though her arms and pulls her up. She expects him to let her stand and let go but he doesn't. And she doesn't try and move her hands away. Instead she clings to him and continues to cry.
She's happy she doesn't have to find out where her soul is going today.
She's glad she's in Booth arms, she feels safe in his arms.
She's glad she'll get to go out with Angela again, to teach Zach more, to learn more about Hodgins, to learn from and talk with Dr Goodmen.
She'll be able to tell Booth she missed him when he was gone.
She can tell him she loves him.
"How did you get here?" she asks Booth, finally finding her voice.
"Hodgins gave me a ride…" Booth answers. Temperance smiles. She'll have to thank Hodgins. Maybe get him out of some paper work.
"Maybe you could give me a ride back?" he asks. She laughs then and feels him hold her tighter.
Please Review!
Just thought I'd post this!
I'll take praise, critism, I'll take anything I can get.
hearts, hugs, kisses and love!
JESSA!
xoxox!