A cheeky little one-shot I've snuck in, in between writing my 'Funny thing about Friendship' chaps. Its all a bit angsty, and a bit fluffy towards the end, but hopefully it still makes for an enjoyable read! Let me know what you think! :) x
You have that feeling again. The one you've had so many times before, only this time it is so much worse. It's the feeling that you've blown it. Like really blown it. You can't see how she'll ever forgive you this time.
You know what you did was wrong, but you also know that you did it with her best interests at heart. You realise that your best interests may have also influenced your actions somewhat, but you rationalise that if you hadn't acted and she'd ended up heartbroken, you'd never have forgiven yourself.
It's been two hours and twenty seven minutes since she stormed out in response to your confession. She hadn't said a word. She hadn't needed to. The look in her eyes was enough to tell you everything you needed to know. She was disappointed in you.
Not angry. Well, a little angry perhaps, but mainly just disappointed. And that hurt the most.
You remember the moment you saw him that night, at the bar. At first you'd assumed that the waves of blonde hair visible from behind him were Nikki's, until you remembered you'd left her finishing up various reports back at the Lyell Centre only half an hour earlier.
You'd watched him ever so closely. He was laughing and flirting with his mystery blonde for a good half an hour or so before you witnessed the actions that caused this whole mess. As you watched their lips connect and his hand sleazily make its way towards the blonde's backside, you felt a sudden surge of... something.
At the time you couldn't work out exactly what the emotion was that you'd felt. In fact, you still can't. A mixture of contempt for the man who was in the process of quite blatantly cheating on your best friend, and elation for the simple fact that he'd provided an excuse to end Nikki's four month relationship with yet another guy who didn't deserve her.
Although, if you're completely honest, you can't picture any guy who you'd deem to be good enough for her.
It was then you realised that for the past half an hour, you'd paid almost no attention to... Emily, was it? You couldn't even remember her name. So you'd apologised profusely, and ended the date with a half-hearted promise to call.
You're still unsure why you spent almost two weeks mulling over every aspect of this night and all its consequences without ever telling Nikki. You suspect you couldn't bear to be the one to cause her such pain. Although you'd hate to admit it, you were ecstatic in the knowledge that this 'relationship' would soon be at an end, and your role as the comforting, understanding best friend would be resumed.
How wrong you were.
The rain was still falling in abundance, decorating the pavement in eccentric splashes with its furious droplets. It had been falling just as hard only a few hours earlier when you'd confronted him.
For while it had been tolerable to conceal the truth whilst in Nikki's presence, the sight of his tall, confident figure strutting towards her apartment tonight had angered you to your very core.
Before you'd known what was happening, you'd given him an earful worthy of a Jeremy Kyle show, threatened to tell Nikki everything, and warned him to back off. His spiteful response, insinuating that Nikki in fact meant nothing to him, turned out to be the last straw. The last straw that resulted in him with what you hope to be a broken, or at least a very sore and bloody, nose.
Her face had been one of surprise when she saw it was you and not him at the door, but she'd invited you in nonetheless.
"Harry. Haven't we seen enough of each other today? Don't tell me you missed me already?"
"No", you found it hard to soften your blunt and direct comments, "I just came to drop round the notes from the Harrison case".
"Oh, right. Thanks. Are you ok Harry? Are you drunk?"
You'd suddenly felt a surge of guilt.
"Oh my god Harry! What happened to your hand? It's bleeding."
You'd managed a mumbled, "Not my blood."
"What? You'd better tell me what's going on right now, David's meant to be here any minute, so I really don't have the time to play your silly games."
"David's not coming."
"What? What do you mean, 'David's not coming'?"
You paused for a moment, long enough for the look of realisation to spread across her face.
"Harry, you didn't? Where is he Harry? What did you do?"
"I gave him just what he deserved. What he doesn't deserve is you, Niks. You need to forget about that jerk."
"How dare you! What on earth makes you think you have the right to interfere in every relationship I ever have. Are you jealous?"
"What makes me think I have the right? Oh I don't know, maybe the fact that we've been friends for nearly eight years, I care about you, and I don't want to see you get hurt."
"And what makes you think that by being in a serious relationship, one that makes me happy, I am going to get hurt?"
She was really shouting now. You hated this. You hated him for do this to her. But you refused to stop now...
"Happy? So you're happy? Well does it make you happy when I tell you that two weeks ago I saw David, your 'Mr Perfect', feeling up a random girl in a bar before taking her home with him? Does that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? Does it make you happy to know that for the last two weeks I've worried non-stop about telling you and potentially breaking you heart? Does it make you happy to hear that I punched the living crap out of him just a few minutes ago for telling me just how little you actually meant to him? I doubt it Nikki, I really do."
She'd fallen silent.
You'd felt physically sick.
She'd walked out.
And now here you were. Alone.
More to the point, she was alone. Alone again, with no one to run to and no one to call. You knew that person would usually be you.
Another glass of wine later and a knock at the door.
Well, you assumed it was a knock, although it was a rather feeble attempt, in fact it was more of a scratching sound.
You soon found out why.
You opened the door to reveal a tearful, hysterical Nikki, completely drenched by the rain, and without a coat.
You tried to pull her inside, into a tight embrace and take away all the pain you'd caused her only a few hours earlier. But she pushed you away violently.
"No Harry. No! You do NOT get to be the one to comfort me this time. You caused this. It's all your fault. I hate you Harry, I really hate you."
It was the first time in eight years that she'd ever said those words to you, and, not for the first time, you were scared of losing her. Still, you found the rage bubbling up inside you taking over...
"My fault? Me? What did I do, except tell you the truth and try to prevent you from getting your heart broken?"
"Well take a good look Harry Cunningham, because what do you think this is? I am heartbroken. Things were fine before you put your great big fat foot in the middle!"
"Fine? So you're fine with him shagging other women, treating you like shit, and telling your best friend that if he couldn't see you tonight, he'd pick up someone equally as attractive on the way home? Doesn't sound like any kind of relationship I'd want to be in thank you very much!"
"Well I'm not like you Harry!"
As her tears increased, you watched her slumping back onto your sofa, and curling her knees up to her chin, violent sobs racking through her body.
She may have been heartbroken, but your heart was breaking at the very sight of her right now.
After five or so minutes of silence during which you'd poured out two glasses of red wine, in the hope of presenting her one as a peace offering, she spoke again. This time her tears had subsided.
"I went to his house. Never been there before. He has a wife. Three kids. His wife was brunette, so he's obviously got a few other women on the go too if what you saw in the bar was right."
She talked so matter-of-factly, you weren't sure how to respond.
"I'm an idiot Harry. A total idiot."
"You're not an idiot Niks. He's the idiot... for letting you go. He doesn't know what he's missing."
"But I always make such terrible decisions."
You moved over to the sofa and pulled her against you so her head was resting on your chest.
"You're right though, for a Doctor, someone who's supposed to be rather intelligent, you do make some awful decisions about men."
A small laugh escaped her lips, and you sighed in the knowledge that you may not have lost her after all.
"But men aren't like science, Harry. They're a law unto themselves. They're mean and selfish, manipulative and horrible. Are there any nice guys still out there do you think?"
"Of course there are, but we are a very rare breed!"
She looked up at you and you winked.
She smiled, and the shared glance between you both suddenly became much more. You weren't sure how long you were looking into her deep brown eyes, but it felt like an eternity and you didn't want it to end.
"He didn't deserve you, Niks."
"You always say that."
"That's because no one is ever good enough for you."
"No one at all? Or just the guys that I pick?"
You'd wanted to say 'no one but me', but instead you said,
"Well you do choose some rotters."
"Well then maybe in future, you should choose for me."
"Me?"
"Yes. I'd trust you with my life Harry Cunningham, so it only makes sense that i should trust you with my love life too."
"Wow, I feel a sudden sense of responsibility. Are there any rules surrounding this role?"
"Yes. No uglies. And no fatties. They must be reasonably attractive, interesting and funny. Oh, and genuinely nice. No more arseholes please."
"Cor, you're not asking for much are you?"
"Nope. Ah, Harry, let's be honest, all the good ones are taken, I might as well just give up completely and surrender into spinsterhood."
"Don't be silly, with me at your side, you can only hope to find an amazing man."
"You reckon so?"
Then suddenly it dawned on you. This was your chance.
"Nikki. Do you trust me?"
You knew she sensed that your tone had suddenly become more serious.
"What? I said I'd trust you with my life didn't I? Of course I trust you, you're my best friend."
"You'd trust me when I say that I will find you a guy who thinks you're beautiful, wonderful and intelligent, who thinks the absolute world of you and who will love you no matter what?"
"Well I'd think it'd be a bloody miracle, but I'd still trust you, yes. Why, what are you-"
"Would you believe me if I told you I'd already found you this person?"
She stared at you, her eyes wide open, and you watched as a single tear fell down her cheek.
"Would you believe me if I told you that he was sitting right in front of you, asking you to trust him?"
Another tear rolled don her porcelain skin as you wiped it away gently with your thumb.
"Do you trust me?"
"I trust you."
You felt the world become several shades brighter in that moment, the moment when your lips touched and you knew that despite your fear of losing the best friend you've ever had, you'd instead managed to find her. The real her.
As she broke apart from the kiss several minutes later, you felt content as she maintained her position on the sofa, head on your chest, your hands stroking her hair and neck.
"Harry?"
"Mmmm."
"You're just like all the others really aren't you?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you told me to trust you. But I specifically asked you to find me someone attractive."
As she looked up at you sheepishly, a mischievous grin playing on her lips, you couldn't believe your luck at how tonight, and both your lives, had turned around.
This is how it's meant to be.