Jellyfish Romance ~ Chapter 1

"Karkat thinks we're going to marry each other. Isn't that funny?" John said.

"Yes, you brought that up before," Rose replied, turning the page of her Problem Sooth book. The beanbag chair was rather comfortable. She was quite glad she had saved the captcha code for it.

"Oh, you remember that? I thought you were all grimdark and speaking in the Elder Language or something." John was sitting on the floor across from her, reading old-fashioned superhero comics his father had collected. Every one of them seemed to contain a clown related character, with particular favour extended towards the Joker and Harley Quinn. Mostly Harley Quinn, actually. John didn't really understand why his father had just suddenly given him the briefcase of flimsy comic books before he left, but it was a fun enough pastime.

"Yes, I was. I still understood you perfectly, however." In fact, Rose was rather sure she had a copy of the poorly drawn shipping chart somewhere. She had kept it for strictly nostalgic purposes, though she had considered framing it to passive-aggressively spite the troll.

"O-oh. What did you say back then? I couldn't really, you know, understand anything you said. Like at all. Also it was total gibberish." John shrugged a little.

"Yes, I gleaned that from your Oh-No-Timmy's-Fallen-Down-The-Well antics."

"You know that movie? I love it!"

"You love all movies, Egbert, regardless of their quality."

"What are you saying?" John laughed. "Con Air is amazing! You'd better not be insulting The Cage, man!"

"And so you make my point. Well done."

"So I guess you don't want to talk about it? That's cool. I mean, I understand. It was only if you wanted to. I get it, don't worry." John felt his cheeks growing hot. He hoped that his glasses managed to block most of the flush.

Rose sighed and put her book down. She stared at John with remarkably clear eyes in a way that made him feel a little—if not horribly—uncomfortable. "John, what would you say if I told you I wanted only to date jellyfish?"

John blinked at her. He didn't know what else to do, so he blinked. And then he kept blinking. It's rather hard to stop. "Uh…what?"

"Never mind." Rose picked up her book again.

"N-no, we can talk about it. I just…I just don't really understand. What do you mean by jellyfish? You can tell me, Rose. I'll listen."

Rose pursed her lips. "Telling you would defeat the purpose of the exercise, I'm afraid."

"Oh. What if I guessed, then?"

"I suppose I would allow that."

"What happens if I get it right?"

"Well, you will have to decide."

"Decide what?"

Rose smirked at him knowingly. "Well, you'll find out if you ever get there. Aren't you a little ahead of yourself, windy boy?"

"Alright! I accept the challenge!" John leaned back against the bed. He was glad that he had been allowed to visit Rose for the summer. Dave and Jade would be coming soon, too. It wouldn't be long before they were playing games and eating junk food and watching totally awesome movies like Con Air. He smiled at the thought. He liked reunions a lot. He was positively vibrating with excitement—or he would be, had the journey here not been rather arduous. Instead he was just sitting in a comfortable stupor of comic books and purple walls.

"Very well. I suppose you have until the end of the vacation to get it right. Well, it's not like you couldn't keep trying afterwards, but…"

"But?" John repeated. Rose just shook her head and went back to reading. Instead of picking up another comic, John began to search her room for clues, eyes raking the various posters on the walls.

"I've got it!" he said at last.

"Oh?"

"You want to date an Eldritch Horror!"

"That's idiotic," she said, disgusted. "You think I'm attracted to creatures like Jack? No, my interest is purely theoretical and not romantic at all."

"I don't know, maybe you could—what was the word—have a blackrom with them or something," John suggested, grinning his toothy grin.

"I am not a troll." Rose frowned at him.

"I know, I know, I was just joking, Jegus." John sighed and went back to thinking. "Does it have anything to do with Squiddles?"

"What? No. Why would it be related to Squiddles?"

"Well, I mean, you have one on your shirt."

"Look carefully, Egbert. Does the Squiddle not look rather odd to you?" John looked. In fact, he looked a little too long. Rose snapped the book shut and he jumped. "No. Stop that. That was an error on my part, I suppose, but I don't want you gawking at my chest like that."

"S-sorry," John said. "I swear to Gog, I wasn't—I mean—well, the Squiddle is defaced, right?" He paused. "Maybe you're a sadist and you want to—"

"You're beginning to sound like Strider."

"Well, we are best bros." John grinned. "He is the Sweet Bro to my Hella Jeff."

"You know, that comic is rife with homosexual overtones."

"That—what? No! It's not!" John said. "I'm not—I'm not—"

"Yes, I am aware. I am merely passing comment. Regardless, I am sure the 'guilty party'—if you were to call it so—in this situation would be Strider. Not that I am passing judgement. He is free to like who and what he likes."

"Well, yeah, if Strider is gay that's totally fine with me, too, I mean—why are we even talking about this! You're avoiding the question."

Rose smiled devilishly. "Was it so transparent? No, it has absolutely nothing to do with Squiddles."

"Not even Tangle Buddies Forever or whatever the tagline was? I thought that might've been sort of close."

"Hm. I had not considered that. But it is not my main point so I shall discard it."

"Dammit."

Rose chuckled and reached over to give him the least condescending pat on the head she could manage. "Keep trying, Egbert. You've got the rest of the summer to figure it out."

"And I don't even get a hint?"

"Not even one."

"Fuck."

She smiled. "Good luck."