The morning had slipped away peacefully, Patrick enjoying his rounds around Poplar and Shelagh casually searching the markets stalls.
"Shelagh!" Patrick caught his fiancée's arm as she unwittingly walked past him, her eyes focused on the stalls passing her on her left rather than in front of her.
"Oh! Patrick!" She beamed, yet her brow furrowed when she realised his hand was still resting on her arm. Public displays of affection were still strange to Shelagh. Once, whilst still in the Habit and known only by her religious name, she imagined walking hand in hand with Patrick and being able to freely reach up and kiss him whenever she liked. However, she vowed never to dream like that again, for it was a sin to want a man. Now free from the heavy Habit and structured routine, Shelagh could dream like that once more. Yet she couldn't. Already the main topic of the latest gossip in the district, she feared showing her husband-to-be a physical sign of her love would bring upon more unwanted talk about them. Their relationship began with long glances and butterflies in their stomachs when either was mentioned in conversation, and that was how it was to continue until they were married and could spend time alone together in the privacy of their house. The thought of which made her cheeks blush lightly.
Patrick noticed her glance move to his hand lying comfortably on her left arm. He know the brow meeting in the middle was a sign of when she was anxious, or deep in thought. He removed his hand and held them tight to his side, almost afraid to make sudden movements. He knew she loved him, but in public they had to act professional and he didn't want Shelagh to feel more uncomfortable than he knew she already was. Shelagh had never complained, but he knew her well enough to see that public affection wasn't easily accepted by the local community between a former nun and their doctor.
But Patrick was a man with a plan.
"Are you busy this afternoon?" He asked her gently, hoping that he could finally spend some time alone with her. Since he had proposed almost two weeks earlier, the needs of the district had increased due to a minor flu outbreak. She has sat with Timothy on occasion, but by the time he had returned from his call out, she was curled up fast asleep on the sofa and unable to have an in-depth conversation on the drive back to the lodgings.
"Yes" She almost whispered, her voice carried by the light wind.
"Can I see you later?"
She nodded, her eyes shining like the bright summer sky.
"I'll pick you up at twelve? We can walk along along the docks, maybe eat some fish and chips for dinner and then watch the boats and..." He stopped when he saw her face fall slightly, and her gaze shifted to study his collar.
"Shelagh? What is it?" He questioned.
"I...I can't...I want to but..."
"It's ok." Patrick understood. His late wife had been much bolder than his fiancée, allowing him to show the world how much he loved her from the moment they stepped out together. However, Shelagh was different. She needed time, but he knew that she was certain in her decision to marry him and that was all he needed.
"We can meet by the gate of the park, and perhaps find a quiet spot near the trees? I could bring a picnic?" He suggested.
She didn't need to reply. The glittering of her eyes as she met his told him she loved the idea.
"This was lovely, thank you Patrick" Shelagh beamed to the form next to her, stretched out on the tartan blanket. His tie discarded before making the journey to meeting her, his shirt unbuttoned at the collar and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He had never looked so relaxed to her before, even after a birth had gone particularly well.
He turned his head toward her as she spoke, taking in the long blue skirt Shelagh had said she'd borrowed from Trixie and white blouse with small tucks in the short sleeves perfect;y set on her shoulders. Patrick could see that the earlier tension clear in her body had disappeared. He had carefully chosen this secluded spot, partially hidden by trees and far away from the other groups of families and friends enjoying the rare warm day. The simple cheese sandwiches and leftover Victoria Sponge from the housekeeper had been polished off with iced tea.
They enjoyed various conversations, from Timothy's school to the bakery lessons she had, had with Mrs B. The wedding was a topic which both enjoyed and a sense of calm was felt between them both. For now though, they felt no need to discuss everything under the sun, but just to be in one another's company was enough.
Watching the clouds overhead as Patrick lay next to his fiancée, who's head was resting lightly on his shoulder, his mind began to wander. His eyes cast over her body parallel to his, yet very subtly touching bare feet.
What would it be like to hold her closer? He wondered. To be able to hold her day and night were thoughts floating around in his dreams but he knew that they would soon become a reality. However, Patrick realized that in this quiet spot, he could begin to coax her into a small part of the physical signs of love shown between a man and a woman.
He twisted slightly, facing Shelagh and his right arm reached across his body to hold her left hand. Patrick's fingers gently drew circles on her knuckles, easing her into his light touches. He wanted to be so careful with her, but couldn't last any longer without touching her unblemished skin.
Shelagh's eyes cast downwards and watched in admiration as the man she loved held back the raging passion that she knew he felt, much like she did for him in her heart but hadn't the courage to show it.
The drawing of circles slowly turned into a long swipe along the base of her fingers on the top of her hand. Back and forward his thumb moved, hoping to calm his own racing heart banging hard in his chest like a band drum.
His thumb changed direction, making lines down each finger starting at her shortest finger. When he reached her ring finger, he circled the small stone a few times and carried on. Once at the tip of her thumb, he tucked his own underneath her hand between hers and her index finger, cupping her hand. Even whilst resting, and giving her a chance to take in the increased level of intimacy his fingers glided along making small movements, comforting her.
Their eyes met as they both lay horizontal, basking in the shaded warmth. Patrick gently put her hand on his hip and removed his hand from on top of hers. This way, Shelagh could have the chance to take back her own hand if she wanted. But she didn't.
He tipped up the curve of her chin up slightly and looked straight in the blue depths that stared so clearly back. She was certain.
Delicately he placed his lips on her smooth cheek, his senses swimming in the thoughts of finally kissing the woman who had unwittingly captured his heart all those months ago. He felt her breath sharpen and then a long, yet silent, exhale of air.
"Patrick" She uttered from the lips he so desperately wanted to touch with his own, but this experience was all about her.
He swept his thumb across the bottom lip and delighted in the upturning of them when he did so. Oh, how he adored this woman.
"Please Patrick" She begged gently, her eyes focusing on his open collar and the hint of dark hair appearing from underneath.
He looked at her, confused.
"What is it?" He whispered lovingly. Patrick would give anything to kiss this woman senseless, but if he had to stop and allow her to take everything in, then so be it.
"Kiss me. Please"
She didn't need to ask twice. Patrick tangled his hand into her loose hair at the nape of her head. He guided her head to tilt slightly left so that he could angle his right and perfectly placed his lips softly onto hers. Her lips moved gingerly and he was about to pull back to check that she was alright, when a spark was lit and her hand rested upon his cheek, making it's way up to his hairline to comb through his hair.
They continued in the exploration of each other's mouths and pulled back in sync, sighing.
In that moment, Patrick could say that life could not be more perfect, but little did he know of what Shelagh had to say.
"I love you" She hushed.