Disclaimer: All characters/registered names are not mine, and owned by their respective owners, and are used for entertainment purposes...
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Bold underline indicates a caption on the TV screen
Special Thanks to LB for proofreading this as well as the original WL: LH Edition
WARNING: This 'uncensored outtakes' reel is rated M for a reason!!! All scenes will have unedited content with explicit language and sexual content, and anything else that would have not been seen in the series 'Whose Line is it Anyway' and 'Love Hina.' You have been warned!!! This was inspired by the gag reels from the uncensored DVD of Whose Line Season 1, Vol. 1. Also, it is recommended that you open the main story and read this alongside the chapters…
Note: This is hosted by just Drew, so when the scene shifts to 'just Drew' it is going back to Drew hosting this, and not an outtake scene.
Drew: Welcome to 'Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina Edition—Too Hot For TV.' In this show, we're going to show you some of or brightest and more embarrassing moments that our censors wouldn't let you see. Each chapter will be a recap of bloopers from two segments of the main show. Also, some will include bonus games that never made it to air for some reason of another. So, without further ado, let the fun begin…
(Scene shows Drew introducing the show)
Drew: Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway: The all girls dorm special, the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. (Looks at his card for a second) Oops!!! Shit! Sorry folks, this is the Love Hina edition, not the 'All girls dorm special.' (Everyone laughs) I misread it because I can't seem to read these tiny letters on this fuckin' card… Why did you guys print these goddamn things so tiny?
Ryan: Some asshole in the office thought it would be funny!!!
Keitaro: Wow, does the show always start this silly?
Ryan: Yeah, Drew! We're not 5 seconds into the show, and you go and fuck it up already!!!
Colin: This is gonna be a long day!!!
(Director walks out)
Director: You ready to start over?
Drew: (Gets up with his mic) Yeah, but get me some easier to read cards, dammit!!!
-Scene Shifts-
Superheroes
Drew: Alright, now what I need from the audience is a name of an unlikely superhero for Keitaro.
(Someone yells 'Anal Wart Man')
Drew: Anal Wart Man!!! (Everyone laughs) Wow! I don't think we can do that one… Anal Wart Man is the guy who enjoys reading and writing yaoi pairings like Naruto and Sasuke, or me and Ryan Stiles…
Wayne: Sounds like Richard Simmons…
Drew: Ooooh… (Starts Laughing) Oh, no!!! There's a crisis!!! Let's call Richard Simmons in disguise, a.k.a. Anal Wart Man!!! He's probably sitting at home going I think I'll watch some Whose Line. (Imitates turning on the TV, starts crying) Oh, no!!!!! (Everyone laughs, Wayne Shudders at the memories of the Richard Simmons episode taping)
Wayne: Let's forget about him!!!
Ryan: Can't forget his loyal sidekick Captain Syphilis!!!
Keitaro: Would that part be played by Paris Hilton?
Ryan: Speaking of Paris Hilton, Drew—did you remember to return that movie: Backdoor Sluts 9 to the video store?
Drew: (Looking around) Censors? Censors? Are there any here? (Everyone laughs)
Colin: What about the Crotch-rot kid?
Keitaro: That would be Murai from GTO…
(Drew Laughs)
(A/N: In GTO, they are playing a game similar to Ouiji in class and Onizuka accuses his student Murai, who doesn't believe in the 'stupid game' of having crotch-rot)
-Scene shifts-
(Naru walks in and sees the tea all over the floor, Keitaro is walking down the stairs, whimpering)
Naru: Keitaro did you spill my tea all over the floor?
Keitaro: Ummm… (slips and falls down the stairs, knocking Naru over, accidentally pulling her skirt down, revealing a pair of white panties)
Naru: Why you little!!!! (Winds up her fist, punches him straight into the wall)
-Meanwhile, upstairs-
Ryan: Holy Shit!!! Did you see that?
Wayne: Wow, what power…
Colin: Drew, what did you get us into??
Ryan: I ain't fuckin' goin down there, until she calms down…
Drew: Wayne, does that incident look familiar to you?
Wayne: Hey, at least poor Melissa didn't beat the living shit outta me when I accidentally lifted her skirt up on national TV…
Ryan: Knowing you, you woulda tried to call her the LAPD in disguise…
Wayne: How do we know Naru isn't?
Colin: Good question… Oh, look, Keitaro's back up and he's got the scene going again…
(A/N: For those not familiar with the Melissa Incident, in an episode, Wayne was acting out 'Early Footage of King Kong vs. Godzilla Movie' in a Party Quirks game, and grabbed a girl outta the audience as King Kong, and didn't realize when he threw her over his shoulder, her skirt had lifted up, flashing her panties to everyone… This was not edited out of the episode, because it was hilarious… For you Whose Line buffs, it was episode 211…)
-Scene shifts-
(Wayne jumps in)
Wayne: (Jumps in) I'm sorry I was caught in traffic!
Ryan: (hits head on door) Wow it's the OW South Park Chef Man!
Keitaro: Waaah! Chef-man, there's this spill and Naru has no more tea!
Wayne: Now, now, children, there's plenty of lovin' to go around!
(All of a sudden Ryan accidentally hits his head on a low lying beam)
Ryan: OWWW!!! Shit!!! God dammit!!!! Mother-fuckin beam!!! Keitaro, why didn't you warn me about this low fuckin' thing?
Keitaro: (giggling while trying to fake weep) Oh, yeah!!! Sorry there… Watch your head on those beams… You tall Americans won't fit through there…
Naru: Wow, are you Ok?
Ryan: (Rubs his head) OW!!! I will be after I kick his sorry ass!!!
Naru: Keitaro, what's your problem and who are these wierdos?
Wayne: I got it!!! Here's a box of tea that Kyle's mom gave to me!!! (Reaches into his pocket, hands Naru a box)
Naru: Is this some kinda perverted joke?
Wayne: No, that's tea, right children??
Naru: This is a box of Trojan Condoms!!!
Colin: Wow! You planning on getting lucky tonight, Wayne?
Wayne: (Out of character) Oh, shit, that's the wrong box… Wrong pocket!!!
Ryan: She doesn't wanna fuck you!!! You're married, remember?? That's Keitaro's job…
Wayne: (Laughing) To be married??
Naru: Whaaaat?! He's married??
Colin: We're the married ones, you idiot!!!
Ryan: No!!! It's Keitaro's job to fuck her, you dumbass!!!
Naru: I dunno, he is more buff than Keitaro…
Keitaro: Heeeey… C'mon now…
Naru: I'm just kidding!!!
Colin: What about me?
Naru: C'mon guys, you three wierdos are surprisingly all married!!! Do I look like some sort of homewrecker?
Colin: Ummm…
Naru: Wait!!! Don't answer that!!!
Ryan: Guys! Naru's tea?
Wayne: Right…
Keitaro: WAAAAAAAHH!!!
Naru: Keitaro, what's your problem, and who are these people?!
-Scene shifts-
(The guys are back in the 'studio' before Drew awards the points)
Drew: Wow, only the first game, and we got Keitaro pulling a 'Melissa' incident, Ryan cussing out a poor defenseless ceiling beam, and Wayne giving Naru a box of condoms… I love this show!!!
Ryan: Keitaro, does that swordswoman ever hit her head on those fuckin things?
Keitaro: No, she's not tall enough to…
Drew: Well, you wouldn't hit your head on 'those fuckin things' if you weren't so damn tall…
Colin: I am so glad the criticism is off the bald-guy for once…
(Everyone laughs)
-Scene shifts back to just Drew-
Drew: Wasn't that great? We had a lotta fun in the first game… Now, the games we broadcasted over the TV had a two minute delay to let our censors work their magic throughout the show. So onto our next games…
-Scene Shifts-
Weird Newscasters
Colin: Welcome to the action news! I'm your anchor, Pierre Cause-my-bladder's-empty... In tod—Oh, shit!!! I used that one already, didn't I… (Drew nods)
Colin: Welcome to the 4:18 news. I'm your anchor Tinker Drunk-enough-to-do-me… Today's top story--…
Director: Hold Please… Sorry Colin, we can't use that name…
Colin: Ok… (pauses) Welcome to the four twenty-eleventh—(giggles) Hell, we don't know what time it is, but here's the news… I'm your anchor, who's rusty today, Tinker-Drunk-enough-to-(sighs)…fuck… (Shakes his head) This just in, sobriety abolished at local news station, as proved by anchor… (Everyone laughs) I got this…
Drew: (laughing) And we haven't even started broadcasting it, yet…
-Scene shifts-
Colin: And now over to my co-anchor Hinata Dat-good-in-bed. Hinata…
Keitaro: Naru Narusegawa who has had a bit too much to drink Hi, I'm Hinata, and I am in love with a boy named Naruto Uzumaki, and--…
Drew: Psst, Keitaro, wrong act…
Keitaro: Oh, shit!! I forgot, I'm supposed to be a drunk Naru… Here we go…
-Scene shifts-
Ryan: (chainsaw) grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (chasing after Wayne, cuts Wayne's leg)
Wayne: (squealing in pain) Oww oww oww oww! ZAP! Owwww! ZAP! (Trips and falls)
Ryan: You ok?
Wayne: I would have been if you weren't chasing me around like a madman, while I have this god-damned thing around my neck…
Ryan: (grins) Yeah, well Fuck You!!!
Colin: THIS JUST IN: Pissed-off Werewolf and Psycho Chainsaw Wielder have sissy girl fight! Speaking of fights, Jerry Springer is up next… Good Night, and good news!!
(Everyone laughs)
-Scene shifts-
Drew: Wow, Colin, I certainly enjoyed the name 'Tinker Drunk-enough-to-do-me'…
Colin: I thought it was great. Too bad we couldn't use it…
Drew: You know what I have to say to the censor about that? Fuck You!!!
Keitaro: I can't believe I did the wrong suggestion…
Drew: Actually, that was pretty quick thinking to do Hinata from Naruto… Just goes to show that you can think on your toes…
Ryan: Yeah, just don't fuck up the scene…
Colin: Yah.. That was my job that time…
-Scene Shifts-
Drew: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway: Hinata-House edition--… (Everyone laughs) What did I say?
Keitaro: It's 'Love Hina Edition' you idiot…
Ryan: Well, you got the idiot part right…
Drew: Oh, shit!!! I'll get it right eventually…
Ryan: I probably wouldn't have been so nice to you…
Keitaro: What would you have said?
Ryan: I probably woulda called him a dumbass or stupid fuck…
Drew: You always were one, weren't you, Ryan…
(Ryan flips Drew the middle finger, everyone laughs)
-Scene shifts-
Greatest Hits
Ryan: We interrupt your show, 'The View' to bring you this special offer…
Colin: I'm so excited about this, that I just peed my pants!!
(Everyone laughs)
Ryan: We'll interrupt 'The View' again in a few minutes after Colin changes his clothes and learns to control his fuckin' bladder…
Colin: 'The View' might be over by then…
-Scene Shifts-
Colin: How big is this CD set, Ryan?
Ryan: I dunno. You tell me…
Colin: (looks at Ryan funny, says slowly) Why its--…500 CDs with--…40 songs on them…
Ryan: Holy shit!!! That's a lotta fuckin' CDs, isn't it?
(pause for laughing to stop)
Ryan: 50 songs on 96 CDs, all about Hinata-Sou! Two CDs have songs on them, and the rest have recordings of Drew Carey counting his money!
Colin: Wow, what an offer! (Colin and Ryan chuckle, Drew pouts)
Drew: Alright, asshole… (everyone laughs)
Ryan: And as a special bonus, if you act right now, we'll send you the CD with Drew Carey cursing at you like you just heard as well as 'You stupid motherfucker, Kiss my fat white ass, My dick is so big it could kick your dick's ass, you dumb cocksucker,' and others…
Colin: You forgot, 'Colin's bald'…
(everyone laughs)
-Scene shifts-
Colin: …Anyway, Elton John had that great Hinata-Sou themed song, simply titled, 'Don't Walk in the Hot Springs while the Girls are There.'
(Music Starts to the tune of "Don't let the Sun Go Down on Me")
Wayne: (singing) I can't seem to stop stepping in dog poo… (He proceeds to start laughing, and ruins the song. The music stops and everyone laughs)
Wayne: (laughing) I got this one…
Ryan: Well quit stepping in dog shit and sing the damn song!!!
(music restarts)
-Scene shifts-
Drew: By the way, Keitaro, I just heard your friends downstairs at the end of the song. Naru said something about setting up an interrogation crew amongst them! I think I have the perfect game to make it funny!
Colin: Is it the game where we all play 'run away from danger-man?'
Drew: Hell No!!! We're gonna all run downstairs and show them our penises! That oughta give them something to think about…
Ryan: I don't know about that one. You wouldn't give them much to think about…
Drew: You would know, wouldn't you…
Ryan: (Flips Drew the middle finger) Besides, Naru and that Mototo—Motokee—Whatever the fuck her name is…
Keitaro: Motoko…
Ryan: Right, her too… (Everyone laughs) I can't pronounce these damn Japanese names!! Anyways, those two might beat the living shit outta us for that!
Keitaro: Correction: Those two WILL beat the living shit outta us for something like that…
-Scene Shifts back to just Drew-
Drew: Those two segments were pretty funny. Anyhow, as promised, the first extra game that never quite made it to air, probably because it didn't involve more than one girl, and because Keitaro didn't last long in it. This was our filming of Questions Only, before the girls got to meet Ryan, Colin and Wayne. Enjoy…
-Scene Shifts-
Extra Game: Questions Only
Drew: And now onto a quick funny game for all four performers, called Questions Only. In this game, each person can only speak in the form of a question, and if they speak in anything other than a question, I'll buzz them out, and they will be replaced by the other performer. As usual, there is a twist to this game for the Love Hina edition, and that is that we will play this in the hall outside of Naru's room. She is trying to study, and will probably come out to find out what's going on. I will remind you that you must follow the rules of this game even when speaking to Naru. Now, since the set is different, the person you would share a step with is your team-mate. Ryan and Wayne will team up, and Colin and Keitaro will team up. Now, the scene is, a clothing store… Keitaro and Wayne will start…
(The four walk down to the hall in front of Naru's room)
Keitaro: Ready?
Wayne: Excuse me, can you show me to the t-shirt department?
Keitaro: Didn't you know it's right here?
Naru: (muffled) Keitaro, can you keep it down out there?
Wayne: Why are there pants hanging on that rack?
Keitaro: Can't you see that someone misplaced them here?
Naru: (muffled) Keitaro, I said keep it down!!!
Wayne: Oh, ok…
BUZZ!!
Wayne: Awww, crap… (laughs, and is replaced by Ryan)
Keitaro: May I help you?
Ryan: Why aren't you wearing any pants?
Keitaro: What do you mean by that?
(Naru walks out, pissed)
Ryan: Aren't those your pants hanging on that T-shirt rack?
Naru: (looks dumbfounded) Keitaro's wearing his pants…
Ryan: (before Keitaro can speak) Did I ask your opinion?
(Naru starts growling, Keitaro intercepts)
Keitaro: Ma'am, were you looking for the thongs, or the g-strings?
Naru: You PERVERT!!!! (She proceeds to punch him into the wall, Colin steps out)
Colin: How's it goin?
Ryan: Did you see that? (Points at a fuming Naru)
Colin: Who didn't?
Naru: Who are you guys?
Ryan: Don't you know us?
Naru: No… Are you friends of Keitaro?
Colin: Isn't it obvious?
Naru: That's why I am asking you… Are you friends of Keitaro?
Ryan: (points at his shirt) Can't you see it says 'friend of Keitaro's'?
Naru: (Slightly madder) It doesn't say that anywhere!!!
Ryan: You just can't see it…
BUZZ!!!
Ryan: Oh, shit… Wayne, Keitaro's still out. Step in for him…
Wayne: (Walks up) Why do I have to step up for Keitaro?
Naru: What the hell is going on?
Colin: (ignoring Naru) Don't you know, you're the only one who can?
Naru: Wait a minute… I recognize you guys now. You three helped Keitaro with the tea… What's going on?
Wayne: (looks at Naru) Um, nothing…
BUZZ!!!
Wayne: Aww, DAMMIT!!! (Ryan replaces him)
Ryan: Did I miss anything?
Colin: Are you gonna give her an explanation?
Ryan: Should I?
Colin: Are you going to do it naked?
Ryan: Isn't that how you want me to do it?
(Naru is getting grossed out)
Colin: Don't you always give explanations naked?
Ryan: Do you think she'll be frightened by the sight of it?
Colin: (laughs) I dunno….
BUZZ!! (Wayne replaces Colin)
Ryan: Are you gonna stay out her more than 10 seconds without fucking up? (Wayne starts laughing, Naru saves him without knowing)
Naru: Alright guys, I'm gonna give you to a count of ten to scram, before I send you guys to a fate similar to Keitaro's…
Wayne: Should we run?
Ryan: You haven't started yet?
BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ!!!!
Ryan: OK, we'll stop… We're just leaving anyhow. We need to wake Keitaro back up…
(The three grab Keitaro and run)
(Back in the studio, the guys arrive)
Drew: Wow, Keitaro's out, and Naru's pissed.
Ryan: Well, hell hath no fury except when Naru is pissed…
Drew: From what I heard, this is a daily thing…
Ryan: Holy Shit!!! He's not dead yet?
Colin: We might be before the shows over, if this keeps up… We'd better get hazard pay outta this!!!
Drew: I'd give you hazard pay, but we spent all the points trying to revive Keitaro!!!
-Scene Shifts back to just Drew-
Drew: Wasn't that exciting? It took us five minutes to wake Keitaro up after that. Boy, Naru was pissed! Stay tuned for when we return, some unintended quick changes, and it's not quite as easy as Shinobu thinks, and Suu's crazy inventions are on the loose again… We'll be back…
Alright guys. I couldn't finish the story after seeing the uncensored cut scenes reel on the DVD. I highly recommend it, as it got myself, and LB falling on the floor laughing… As always, please leave me some reviews. I didn't quite get as many as I wanted from the main story, so please let me know how I'm doin, and as always, GIVE ME IDEAS!!! They are always welcomed!!!