Authors Note: This story has angst in it of course gee Tommy is my favorite character and I love picking on him. Go figure! This is when Tommy is the Green Ranger and Trini, Zack, and Jason are still there.
Authors Note Second: Special Thanx: Another Very Special Thanx:
Rolling over I try to locate a better position. This has got to stop, if I don't get some rest soon I'm going to go insane. Not that these dreams aren't aiding in that. It's been two weeks since these horrible dreams have starts surfacing again. Two weeks of tortured sleep and waking up raked with sobs and the need to vomit. I wish I knew why these memories are surfacing now though, wish even more that I knew how to stop them. Send them back into that dark, heavily guarded room in the very back of my mind.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I hate school. I'm only eight years old and I already hate school. But then I do have reasons, those kids over on the jungle gym that are laughing. That's my reason. I know they're laughing at me, they always do when they're not picken on me. I may be only eight but I'm not stupid, no matter what my dad and the other kids seem to think. Like it's my fault I'm small and shy. Maybe if they weren't so mean to me I wouldn't always be by myself and they wouldn't think I was such a dork.
Feeling the tear slid down my cheek, I quickly swipe it away. That's all I need is for them to see me crying, show them that they're succeeding in hurting my feelings. Ow, wincing sharply I curse myself for being so dumb. When I'd ran the back of my hand over my cheek it'd made the bruise there begin to hurt again. Forgot about that one. Stupid, stupid me.
Throwing my plastic shovel down, I stand and brush the sand off of me. Well I don't care if they are maken fun of me, I'm not going to just sit in the sand bow all through recess. Heading to the swings I want to scream as the kids that are over there run off pointing and giggling at me. S'not fair! Why do they have to be so mean to me?!
Sitting down on one of the now empty swings, I try to think of something good. S'no use though. I usually like to make up stories, pretend I'm somewhere else, SOMEONE else. Not now though, I don't even feel good enough for that. Closing my eyes I let my head hang down, when is recess going to be over?
"Stop it and come on." The small girlish voice is soon followed by a very unhappy boy's.
"Aw, why are you doing this, it's stupid." What's all this about? Meh, I don't even want to know, maybe if I just keep my eyes closed they'll leave me alone. I really don't want to fight anyone today, or find out what mean thing the girl wants to call me. Oh and I do not have cooties! Whatever those are.
When I feel the gentle tap on my shoulder, I finally open my eyes and raise my head. Oh you have got to be kidding me. "Hi." Kimberly Hart, the most popular and perfect girl in school, probably in the world. She's friends with all the girls and liked by all the boys. Yes even me. What's she want, to tease me?
"Kim come on, let's go find Billy." And then I see him. Okay, now Kimberly I might have been able to handle, but not him. Jason Scott, the most popular boy in school. Liked by all the girls and friends with everyone, also Kimberly's 'boyfriend' or at least that's what all the adults say when they talk about how cute they both are. No one ever says I'm cute. But then I guess being covered in bruises isn't very cute.
Shushing Jason, Kim sits down in the swing beside me. I really don't want to be teased or beaten up today, my back still hurts from when my 'dad' punished me yesterday. I didn't mean to drop the glass it just slipped, honest.
"What do you want?" Squirming in my seat at Jason's dirty look, I bite my lip. That came out sounding really mean. I wasn't trying to be mean, I just want them to go away.
Apparently not noticing like Jase had, Kimberly smiles sweetly. She has a nice smile, even if she is missing a front tooth. "I saw you over here all alone and I thought you might need a friend. Right Jase?" Looking at the boy she waits for him to maybe try and be nice to me. Probably isn't going to happen.
"Yeah so you don't have to be all snippy." Sitting down in the swing next to Kim, he pouts a little. He's only here because she made him come. I can see it all over his face. He wants nothing to do with me.
Making myself calm down, I swing just a little. The last thing I want is for them to feel sorry for me. I mean that's just assuming this isn't some mean joke or dare from the other kids. "I don't need a friend, especially not you two. I am perfectly fine by myself, so just go away." Jason's gonna hit me, I know it.
Before he can respond though, Kimberly pipes up. "Well from where I was standing you didn't look like you were perfectly fine by yourself...How'd you get that bruise on your face?" None of your business. And I am fine...right I can also fly if I want.
"Probably another fight." Jason's muttered comment makes me see red through the stinging tears that are barely being held back. Just for your stupid information Mr. Perfect, I did not get into a fight! I got beaten and smacked for breaking a dumb glass! So there!
Scuffing my feet in the dirt, I make my voice be strong. "I fell. What's it to you? Don't you ever fall little Miss Perfect?" Turning to Jason I nearly snarl. "and just because I have bruises does not mean I got into a fight! Just because you are mean and like to pick on people does not mean you can say things about me that aren't true! So just mind your own dumb business, you jerk!" So there.
Speechless he takes a minute to decide how to react to this. I hope he just goes away.
Looking hurt, Kim shakes her head, but pushes it. "Yes, I fall, but not on my face." Oh just leave me alone!
"Yeah, well you could have fooled me." Oh don't be mean Tommy. But she's maken me mad. I want her to leave. Just take your stupid boyfriend and go away!
Frowning she takes the bait, "What do you mean?"
Laughing meanly to keep the tears away, I hear myself blurt it out. "You must have fallen on your face a lot, cuz you sure are ugly!" I can't believe I just said that. I am stupid.
As I see the tears welling up in her eyes, I instantly want to apologize. I don't know why I get mad like that and do stupid things. I didn't used to. Not until my mom married that creep. Maybe he's right maybe I am just dumb. "I'm sorry, I was just trying to be nice to you, you jerk." I am a jerk.
Growling, Jason quickly gets up. This is good. When he's right infront of me, I know saying 'I'm sorry' isn't going to chill him out. Getting to my feet so we're now almost eye to eye, I try to think of something. "Who do you think you are?!" Someone in big trouble.
Shrugging, I try to play it off. "Tommy Erickson. Who are you?" I need to have my mouth taped shut. Oh wait, Josh did that last week, never mind.
I wasn't aware someone could actually growl like that. "No one talks to Kim like that! Especially not a loser like you!" Ouch, fine you want to yell at me, I can yell right back.
"S'not my fault she's an air-head who is too nosy for her own good!" No sooner does this leave my mouth when I see Kim get truly upset and start crying. Oh man. I didn't mean for that to happen. I should know how much words hurt, stupid, stupid, stupid me!
Balling his fists, Jason moves so he's only inches from my face. "Take that back!" As much as I'm hurting Kim, I can't help but feel a small thrill of power when I realize I'm actually getting to Jason. Probably why I smile even though I know he's gonna try and kill me in a second.
"No." Before I know it, I'm on the ground. God he's fast! As we roll and tumble in the dirt, Jason pretty much beating me down, I can vaguely hear the other kids shouting. Only thing is they aren't cheering for me. 'Fight! Fight! Beat him up! Go Jason!' are just some of the chants that get my attention. Have I said how much I hate school?
Jason is finally able to pin me. He's got too good of a position now, straddling my stomach, I'm not going anywhere and he knows it too. Pounding me without mercy, he only pauses when I taste blood. Great, Josh is going to kill me when I get home. "Take it back!"
Now see if I was smart I'd say anything besides, "No!" Spitting blood and spit into his face, I take my opening and punch him right in the stomach. Shoving him off of me while he's still yelling and clutching his stomach we go back to rolling in the dirt again. Only when my back hits the metal pole of the swing-set do I loss my advantage. The pain that comes from hitting my bruised back against the pole is horrible. Unable to move, I have no choice to curl up into a ball and wait for Jason to stop pounding me.
Suddenly and without warning the hits stop. Lowering my arm that'd been shielding my face, I look up to see the principal Mr. Jenkins holding a very angry Jason. This isn't going to be good. Before I can get up, my teacher has pulled me to my feet, send all new pain through me.
Sitting in one of the brown chairs facing the principal, Jason right beside me I listen to the Mr. Jenkins talking to Josh on the phone. I am so dead. Oh my god, what's he going to do to me? Pulling the tissue away from my busted lip I'm kind of glad the bleeding's stopped. Though when I get home I'll bet anything Josh will hit me in the mouth and make it worse. Glancing over at Jason I can't help but get mad. Here I'm even more banged up then before and he hardly has a mark on him. He's also not going to get in trouble I know it. Everyone loves him and I'm just some problem that no one wants around.
"Tommy." Oh shoot what'd he say I missed it. Trying to give him my attention, Mr. Jenkins sighs before continuing. "You have been in a lot of fights lately. Correct, Tommy?" Only like five, and I did not start those, I swear I didn't. When I nod he continues. "I'm sorry Tommy, but this is the last fight you are going to be in for a while. I just got off the phone with your stepfather and he agrees that you need some time to think about all of the trouble you have been getting into lately. Tommy, I'm sorry, but you're suspended for two weeks. We've warned you over and over again and well...I'm sorry." No you aren't. You have idea what you just sentenced me too.
Turning to Jason, he straitens up. "Jason, you are not going to get off free, although you were standing up for another student we don't fight to do it. You will spend your recesses and lunch periods in here, with me, for one week. I hope this will teach you both a lesson. Jason you may go back to class and Tommy your dad is on his way to pick you up. That is all." Oh THAT'S fair! He has to miss recess for a week and I'm going to get killed, can we see how wrong this is!?
Stepping into the house, Josh right behind me, I can only hope I'll live till my mom gets home. Not that she's much help these days. He hasn't said a word the whole way home, which meant he was beyond mad. Setting my book bag by the door, I slowly head to the stairs. Please just let me make it to my room. Please, please.
"Where do you think you're going young man?" Damn! I'm going to die, I'm going to die, my mom's going to come home and I'll be buried in the backyard or something.
Putting on my best puppy appearance, I turn to face my guardian. "My room."
When he stiffens that's it, that's when I know it's all over. His face quickly fills with rage and he takes a big step towards me. "Don't try that on me, Tommy! What has gotten into you!? Do you know what you have done!? You are suspended from school for two weeks! You are going to have to stay around here for two weeks! You better get your act together or else!" Don't cry, crying will make it worse.
When he gets close enough to strangle me, and I'm suddenly very afraid he will, I back up more towards the stairs. I can't out run him, should I try anyway. "I'm sorry." Voice laced with fear and tears, I try to calm him.
"You're damn right you're sorry! Where do you think you are going!? I am going to teach you a lesson that you will never forget!" Grabbing my arm hard enough to break it, again, he drags me into the dinning room. Oh no, please, please don't hurt me. "You worthless little fuck!" Throwing me on the floor, he quickly ties my arms to the table leg will some of the craft twine on the table. No please no! Removing his belt, he then begins beating me ruthlessly, my screams only fueling his anger.........
Bolting upright, I vaguely become aware of my surroundings. I'm home, safe, in my room, with the Olivers. It's okay, I'm safe, he isn't here, he can't hurt me anymore. Sometime after I'm able to breath again, I realize I'm covered in sweat and sobbing hysterically. Well if Zedd could see me now.
Hearing the door open, I see my dad rush in. I must have screamed in my sleep or something, probably woke the neighbors. Wrapping me in his strong arms he rocks me slightly, trying unsuccessfully to soothe my gut wrenching sobs. After crying myself into exhaustion, I sag wearily against John. This can't keep going on. I'm going to need therapy or something if this lasts much longer. Still holding me protectively my dad brushes my sweaty hair away from my ashen face. I'm so tired. "Tommy, what was this one about?" I can hear the worry and care in his voice.
Taking a deep breath, in a voice I'm sure none of my friends or enemies would recognize I stammer it out. "He was...he was hitting m-me. Blood, feel the blood. He wouldn't stop. Why? Why did he hat-hate me so much? I...was I really that horrible? Wh-what did I do...do to deserve that?" I know I have to sound terrible with my whole statement broken up by hiccups and sniffling. It's like 1 a.m. ask me if I care.
Shushing me gently, he runs a hand through my hair. "You didn't do anything, Tommy and you certainly didn't deserve that. You are a bright, talented young man and you did NOTHING to deserve what he did to you." I like him. I guess if going through that hell for four years got me here to John and Carol it might have been worth it. Gawd, I just don't want to think about it anymore, it was eight freaken years ago, why am I being tortured by it now?
Giving him a skeptical look, I yawn and lay back down. Please no more nightmares tonight, please. "Maybe."
Sighing softly, but I guess figuring arguing won't help right now, he lovingly pulls the covers back around me. So tired. "Go back to sleep Tommy. It'll be better in the morning. You know both your mom and I love you." Yeah I know. Took a few years for me to accept it, but I do know.
"I know." Yawning I let my eyes drift closed. I'm almost asleep when he turns off the light. Heading out into the hall I barely catch is angry mutter.
"I swear if I ever meet that guy I'm going to kill him." You and me both........
The next day....
Shoving my math book into my locker, I growl as it won't seem to fit. I so need rest. I'm so tired I'm surprised I haven't collapsed yet. Maybe I can go sneak down to the pool, there isn't a swim class this period, maybe I can catch a nap in the locker room.
Suddenly two soft hands are over my eyes. At least those better be hands over my eyes, if I suddenly go blind to top everything off I'm throwing myself off the roof. "Guess who?" The too perky, female voiced makes me smile slightly. Like it's hard to tell, I think there's like this rule that says if you're a cheerleader you have to have a voice like that. Not that I'm complaining, after all that voice does come out of that luscious, pouty mouth that makes my senses reel every time I kiss it.
Playing along, somewhat, I shift my weight into a pondering state. "Now Jase, if you do this in public, Kim's libel to catch on to us."
The hands leave my eyes as the repressed giggles are breathed in my ear. "Is that right!?" Wrapping her arms around my stomach, Kim mock pouts at me. "You have some ner-Tommy, what's wrong?" Yeah I knew she'd see the lifelessness in my eyes, or if not then the pale complexion and dark circles is a nice give away too.
Shrugging, I try my best to force a reassuring smile. I feel like hell. "I just haven't been sleeping well lately, but everything is okay, trust me. I love you." Gotta throw that last part in. If anything will get her off worrying about me that will.
When she perks up again and wraps her arms around my neck I know I've succeeded. "I love you too." I wonder if she'll let me go out and sleep in her car for a bit. That thought is pushed aside for a moment when she drags me down for a fiery kiss. We could go do this in her car though, if she won't let me take a nap. Either way, I'm good.
"Hey you two don't make me get the hose!" Can we say mood killer. Releasing the petite Pink Ranger, I glare at grinning Jason.
"Just cuz you can't get any is no reason to interrupt us." Sticking my tongue out, I cringe a little as Kim hits me lightly in the arm. Geez, it was just a joke. I'm sure he knows we haven't done anything; we've only been dating for like two months.
Jason shrugs and smiles broadly. Moving in between us, he loops his arm around Kim's shoulders in a playful manner. "Tell me Kim, why do want Tommy when you can have a great guy like me?" Oh brother, can we say 'get over yourself', bro?
Smiling sweetly she leans in vulgarly close to his ear, before whispering, "Because you have an ego the size of New York, and at the moment you smell." I nearly crack up into hysterics over this. He's just gotten out of football practice and seeing as how he's still wearing his jersey, he was probably on his way to the locker room to shower.
He glares playfully at me, before turning a lame attempt at puppy eyes on Kim. "That hurt Kim. I'm not going to talk to you ever again." With that Jason turns around and crosses his arms in mock rage. Oh yeah, that'll happen.
Smiling playfully Kim looks intrigued. "Is that a promise?" Oh see, she's learning to play the game better. Ow, my head hurts; I really need to lay down for a little bit. Maybe I can go to the nurse and tell her I don't feel well, hell she can call my dad, he'll back me up in the fact that I'm definitely not well. Meh, but then I might get sent home, and I really can't leave since I have a math test in two periods. Maybe I can sleep in Jason's car for a bit.
Whipping back to face Kim, Jason's jaw is on the ground. "Kim! You are supposed to say 'I am sorry, Jason and I will never do it again'." Yeah that's gonna happen. You'd have better luck in trying to prove the existence of trolls. Still got my stepdad on the brain, thus the troll comment.
Grinning like a cat, Kim shrugs. "But I'm not sorry and I might do it again. I wouldn't want to lye, Jason." Snicker. Okay, it looks like the drama is wearing out. As the bell rings, we all know it's time to wrap it up. Jase has to shower, I have to get to History, and Kim needs to get to Cheerleading practice before her squad freaks out that their captain isn't there. Giving me a quick peck on the cheek she heads off. "See you later sweety."
Grinning evilly, Jason grabs a hold of me and gives me a quick peck on the other cheek. In a very amusing 'Kim voice' he repeats her parting. "See you later sweety." You are such a freak. Why are you so damn popular again?
Immediately making a show of wiping my face off I growl playfully. "Get stuffed!"
Smile only increasing; he heads off with a wave. "See ya, bro."
To be continued.........