A/N: Written while visiting a friend in Cincinnati. I wrote this after watching Samson & Delilah late at night and remembering just how awesome the T:SCC universe was. Not my best work, but I really like the beginning and ending combination.
She'd been losing him. It hadn't been a surprise when he'd chosen, she realized.
She'd started losing him on his birthday. When she (and there was only one she to Sarah Connor) had tried to kill them both, she had put her foot down on repairing the damn machine. He had put his foot down, too, at the last minute - but he'd had a gun in his hand while he did it.
When she had told John that he had made a bad decision and couldn't be trusted anymore, Sarah had almost cried with relief. When John had withdrawn from her in response, she very nearly smiled.
And then she met Riley.
Hell, even she knew something was wrong there (though she wondered if it might have actually been jealousy), but John just went on, oblivious to the mistakes he was making, and downright hostile when she pointed them out.
Then, when Riley was finally gone (dead, but she hadn't actually hoped the girl would die), she tried to tell John that she was his mother, and she was just a machine. And then he apologized to her! For doubting her!
He had rescued her from prison, of course. Had to get the mother out of jail. She'd allowed herself a modicum of hope, then.
But, of course, with Catherine Weaver (another effing machine?) forcing him into a decision, he'd had to choose once more between mother and machine.
He wanted her to join him in the future. But he couldn't keep playing both sides. When push came to shove, he couldn't have both Sarah Connor and Cameron. He had to choose.
She'd been losing him. It hadn't been a surprise when he'd chosen, she realized. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt when he didn't choose her.