Title: The Tale of the Crystal Dragon
Author: heeroluva
Pairing: Julian/Garak preslash
Rating: PG-13
Contains: h/c
Disclaimer: I don't own them. I just like to play with them.
Summary: A different look at Garak finding out about Bashir's genetic engineering.
Notes: Written for emmypenny. Hope you like it! Not beta'ed. All mistakes are mine. Feel free to let me know if you see any. As always feedback is appreciated.
Because of his genetic engineering, Bashir had always kept people at a distance, fearing that if he ever let anyone too close they would find out his secret. From the time the procedure was done, it had been drilled into him that he had to be careful, that no one else could fine out or his parents would go to prison and the things that would be done to him would make prison seem like a walk in the park. Telling that to a little boy certainly left an impression.
Bashir had quickly learned to build masks, to hide his intelligence and his greater strength and shaper reflexes. It meant learning when to answer wrong and when to miss the mall, figuring out how to make it appear random enough not to make it suspicious. It had been fun at first, an interesting challenge for his 'new' brain, but that was when he was still innocent enough to not truly realize the seriousness of what had been done to him.
It had been particularly hellish during his teenage years; he got a double dose of hormones leaving him with an overactive libido and a nonexistence refractory period. He'd gotten the reputation as a player, but he couldn't stay with anyone long enough for them to realize how different he was. Bashir was lucky he hadn't gotten anyone pregnant because there would have been no way to hide his genetics then. It had saddened him at the time when he realized he couldn't ever have children without subjecting him to the same type of life he'd had, constantly having to hide themselves.
He'd come to terms with it when he finally accepted his sexuality. Men were just as attractive to him as women, and as the years passed it became more so. The final acceptance came when he realized that he was in love with an alien, with Garak, so there was no chance of children there. But he also realized that he didn't really want children, that he'd only wanted them because it was expected of him.
On Earth there were terms for people that preferred aliens to their own species, but they weren't spoken of in Starfleet where such things were common. Bashir hadn't ever seen a reason for such prejudices, so the fact that he feel for an alien didn't really come as a major shock to him.
Bashir hadn't meant for it to happen, but somewhere along the line his friendship with Garak had changed. He couldn't deny that he'd found the Cardassian attractive from the beginning in an exotic sort of way, the scales bringing up memories from before his genetic modification of half forgotten of his grandmother telling tales of dragons that took human form. He still had the fragile crystal dragon that had been passed down in the family for generations.
Garak had just as much to hide as Bashir did and for some reason that had made him seem safe, while at the same time acting as a lure for his insatiable curiosity. He'd been sure that Garak would be too worried about protecting his own secrets, to worry about Bashir's own, but he hadn't known the Cardassian well enough to see that his curiosity and need for knowledge was just as great as Bashir's if not greater.
One day after a normal debate that set Bashir's blood racing, Garak suddenly graced him with a knowing look that caused him to falter for a moment. If it would have been anyone else with him, they might have missed it, but this was Garak and he never missed anything, particularly if the sudden predatory grin that crossed his face was anything to go by.
Bashir hurriedly excused himself, and made sure he was conveniently busy for the next couple days. He knew that his actions were just confirming Garak's suspicions, and he knew he was being silly because he didn't even know what it was that Garak knew, if he knew anything at all, or if he was just playing another game.
After a week of avoiding the Promenade, Bashir wasn't all that surprised by the knock at that door, or that it was Garak when he opened the door.
After a minute of standing in the doorway, Garak asked, "Are you going to let me in, Doctor?"
Bashir hastily stepped to the side, "Oh, yes. Of course. Please do come in."
Garak took the invitation. "If I didn't know better, I would think you were avoiding me, Julian."
Well shit, Bashir thought. Right to the point. "No, no. Garak. I've just been bust this week ."
"Hmm," Garak hummed as he turned to face the shelf holding Bashir's crystal dragon, something he'd always admired every time he'd visited. Twisting saddening, his sleeve caught the corner and sent it flying off the shelf.
Bashir moved before he was conscious of it, finding himself on his knees next to Garak with the crystal dragon resting in his hand. He froze and carefully set the dragon down before slowly raising his head and meeting Garak's eyes.
Bashir had never seen Garak looked shocked, but if the slight 'o' of his mouth and his widening of his eyes was anything to go by, he had now. His blood froze in his veins as he could almost see the light bulb click on over Garak's head before he broke the silence.
"Well now, that is interesting," Garak drawled out.
"I-I can explain," Julian stammered out.
"There is no need."Garak slowly circled around Bashir's kneeling form like a predator sizing up his prey.
Julian had never felt so exposed before, and he suddenly saw the life that he'd so carefully crafted for himself, falling away piece by piece.
Garak held his life in his hands; he could destroy him with this. But he took a small bit of comfort in the knowledge that this secret was worth too much for Garak to simply turn him in.
"What do you want?" Julian asked in resignation.
When no answer for forthcoming, just more of that damned stare where he could see the gears turning rapidly behind those eyes, Julian did the only thing he could currently think of to do to placate him, and reached for Garak's belt.
Gakak's eyes went wide, and he pushed his hands away. "Julian! What are you doing?"
"Please," Bashir stated softly, begging for the first time in his life.
Garak suddenly dropped to his next to Garak, a small sad frown on his face. "Oh, Julian. Do you really think that our friendship means so little to me, that I would use this against you?"
For once Julian's brain failed him, and he just stared wide eyed and slack jawed as a wave of shame washed over him for immediately assuming the worst of his friend.
Eyes suddenly shuddered, Garak rose to his feet offering Bashir his hand. "That's what I thought."
Bashir accepted it and rose shakily to his feet, not letting go of Garak's hand. "Please let me explain."
Garak nodded, and Bashir swallowed thickly before continuing.
"This isn't easy for me. I've never talked about this with anyone, not even my parents. They had it done when I was five."
Garak hissed, but didn't say anything.
"You know it's illegal in the Federation. From the time it was done, I was told the consequences would be dire if anyone ever found out. I learned very quickly to hide what I could do. We moved very often. I never got close to anyone. Until you," Julian stopped with a sigh. "For what it's worth, despite what everyone tells me, I trust you more than I've ever trusted anyone."
"I know, Doctor. I know." It was Garak's turn to sigh. "Cardassians have a different stance on genetic modification than the Federation. There are heavy restrictions, and age limits. Engineering is only allowed when the child is still in the womb or shortly after or when the child has reached adulthood and can give their own consent. To do so after a child has begun development is—" Garak broke off with a growl and shook his head. "What your parents did was a travesty."
Julian felt the blood drain from his face, and he dropped Garak's hand as if burned. That was the kind of reaction he'd always predicted, but it was so much more painful than he'd expected.
Garak grabbed his shoulders and prevented him from backing away. "What they did does not reflect badly on you. They made a choice that was not theirs to make. How extensive was it?"
Relaxing slightly at the clarification, Bashir murmured, "Everything."
"How did you hide it so long without help? I'd only recently had an inkling on what you were really hiding, didn't get any confirmation until tonight. The effort must have been… immense."
Blushing, Julian muttered, "They gave me some books on Vulcan mental techniques. Some of it didn't work for me, so I had to do my own research. A lot of it was trial and error."
"You have my respect for making do against the odds for still doing so." Placing his hand over Julian's heart, he spoke softly, "Your secret is safe for me."
Julian smiled widely. "Thank you, Elim." But it was at that instant that he realized he loved the man, but he felt his heart break because he knew it wasn't possible for there to be anything between them. Not much was known of Cardassian sexuality, but he'd never heard of a same sex couple, and he wasn't going to risk his friendship with Garak.
"Would you care to accompany me for a drink, Doctor?" Garak asked.
Julian nodded, and followed his friend to Quark's bar, happy to at least have Garek's friendship if he couldn't have his heart.
