Authors note: I got the idea from two guy friends of mine, one acts like Sirius does here, and the other has an alike enough personality to Remus that I couldn't resist. Mind you they don't act /quite/ as extremely, but the one that acts like Sirius did grope the others bum at one point [or at least my friend acted like it xD]. I dedicate this to them and their yaoi inspiring ways. Anyway, enjoy. Ps. all these characters belong to JKR, just incase you've been living in a hole and didn't know
--------------------------------------------------------
James sometimes had to worry about Sirius and Remus. It was an on going joke among the friends that Remus was Sirius' girlfriend/bitch. A hilarious one indeed. Whenever they all got together outside, usually on the way to the whomping willow before Moony's change, at least twice a month. Sirius made a point on slinging his arm around the smaller man and solemnly apologizing for any cheating he had done. Then would continue on to ritually warn Peter off his 'love'.
"Just because I am a unfaithful son of a bitch who deserves oh so much worse, doesn't mean you can have him." Usually then he'd give Remus a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Once he had groped Remus' ass and had run off laughing. But that had been a onetime event as he had gotten a black eye for it. Mostly Remus would just shrug any stupidity off and they'd continue on to discuss normal topics, like next plan to torment Snape.
Sirius was quite witty about the whole thing, usually the 'relationship' would be voiced whenever Remus was acting particularly girly, which made it even funnier. James could remember the first time Sirius had started the whole thing. It had been late morning on a rainy Saturday and Lupin had in his very brisk serious tone had ordered Sirius to get out of bed and clean some off the stuff he had left all over the place.
"Morning to you too sunshine. I think since you love me so much, you could be a dear and do it yourself, alright babe?" He had winked at the gaping Remus and had snuggled back under the covers. Remus had huffed angrily at him and picked up a bunch of the clothes and landed it on top of Sirius' covered head before storming off.
Sirius hadn't declared them a couple until almost a month later when Remus had been bending down for a pencil. Sirius had yelled out loud that it was such a nice view that he was inspired to make an honest man out of Moody, so everyone was instructed to keep his or her paws off.
It was all great fun most of the time but there were moments when James could have sworn that there was something there, if he hadn't known Sirius for being such a manslut for the ladies that is. And the fact that Remus clearly was a little uncomfortable with the idea as well.
But all the same if the two came out and said they were bonking each other senseless James wouldn't be all that surprised. The last party they had flashed back to him, Sirius had smuggled in booze and they had all gotten rip-roaring drunk, even Remus had a few drinks too many. Everyone had passed out in most of the chairs, so there hadn't been anywhere for Moony to sit, so Padfoot had knocked Remus off balance and pulled him into his lap. It had sent them all into a fit off giggles, but James could not shake of the image of the two of them that simply looked all too natural.
He stared across the table now at his best friends. Sirius had put his hair up in a messy ponytail, looking as he usually did, mischievous and relaxed, with his tie loose, sitting on his jacket with his shirt rolled up around his shoulders. Lupin sat beside him, looking like his law abiding self, with his nose stuck in a book. Sirius cuffed Lupin over the head lightly.
"Oy what was that for?" Lupin demanded, clutching the back of his head protectively.
"Your ignoring us you git" Sirius answered lazily.
"Oh, really? I'm so sorry Sirius, I was just trying to Get. Our. Homework. Done." Lupin snarled back. It concurred to James now how silly the idea was, as the two bickered loudly, Sirius and Lupin a couple? Sirius would cheat in the first week and Lupin would have gone insane in the first month. James had never thought up a more ridiculous idea, clearly he was making up any tension between the two in his mind because of the jokes…Or was he? Only time would tell……