Tifa's eyelashes parted as she slowly drifted back into consciousness. Gazing at the comforter that wasn't hers, she remembered she was at Cloud's house. And after observing her nearly packed bags next to the bed, she remembered she was leaving this day.
Tifa turned over and buried her face in the pillow. Despite her protests, Cloud had been adamant that she sleep in his bed and that he take the couch for the duration of her visit. Tifa pressed her face further into the pillow - there. Although Cloud had generously offered his bed, he had forgotten to change his sheets. But Tifa didn't mind - in fact, every morning she had taken the opportunity to inhale his scent. Realizing that she should start moving so that she could spend some time with Cloud before leaving, Tifa dragged herself to the shower. It was a little disheartening to wash away the smell of Cloud, but she didn't have a very good excuse for not showering, and she knew he'd ask. Sometimes she wished she could wash away her feelings for him as easily as she could wash away dirt. Things would be easier that way.
Cloud smiled at her when she entered the kitchen, and it made Tifa feel warm all over. Sometimes she almost thought that Cloud loved her back. But she knew that wasn't true. Cloud didn't love her any more than a friend, and she should be happy that she had someone who considered her such a special friend. But…she desperately wanted more than that. Everyone in AVALANCHE considered Tifa to be an optimistic, cheerful person. It was harder for them to see how lonely she was inside. She looked up from her plate to see Cloud looking at her with concern. Catching her eye, he quickly returned to his newspaper. His eyes were so blue….tears flooded her eyes as she became overcome with the feelings inside of her. Her week visiting Cloud was over, and she still couldn't tell him how she felt….she'd probably never be able to. All she wanted was for him to hold her…make her feel safe…loved. She slid a forkful of scrambled eggs into her mouth, running her tongue over the sharp points on the fork. Sometimes she needed pain, craved it. Especially when it was making her numb inside.
She abruptly stood up and took her plate to the sink.
"You're done already?" asked Cloud.
"Yes," she said without looking at him, "I'm going to go check and make sure the trains are running on time." She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, flipping to the public channel that displayed any cancellations and delays. Breathing in deeply, she realized she could smell Cloud here, too; of course, he had slept here. Loneliness washed over her, and she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and pressing her face into her legs. Suddenly, she felt Cloud's weight on the couch and she flinched.
"Shh…." He said softly, running his hand down the length of her tense arm until his arm covered hers. He pressed his other hand against her elbow. His body was so warm…Tifa's muscles clenched tighter and she wished Cloud would go away and just let her cry. She could feel his head against hers, felt his breath hot against her cheek.
"Tifa…there's something I need to tell you before you go. I keep trying to, or thinking that somehow you'll just know, but…I don't think you do." He was close now, so very close…his lips grazed the skin on her shoulder. "And you need to know. You need it desperately and I know that, but I'm scared - ever since Aeris…" Tifa flinched again, much more noticeably than the first time. Cloud threaded his fingers through her hair. "Ever since Aeris died, I've been too scared to trust anyone. I trusted AVALANCHE when I had to, but Aeris took something away when she left. And it wasn't because I loved her Tifa, I never did. Aeris was just a good friend. A very special person, but only a friend." He lowered his head, burying his face into her cheek. She could feel his eyelashes. "It's you that I love, Tifa. I've always loved you, I think. And I think I always will. I just….I've wanted to tell you, but I've been too afraid. It's so hard for me to open myself up…but then when I think about you leaving, I…" he kissed her on the cheek. And then he did it again.
Tifa's eyes were closed, and her face was still pressed into her legs. Cloud tasted tears on her cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Tifa, don't cry…shh, don't cry." She turned to him, and cried softly into his shoulder while he wiped her tears away, holding her close.
"I'm sorry, Cloud. It's just that everything you said - I feel the same way. But I never - I never thought that you could--" He cut her off by gently pressing his lips against hers. He laced his fingers together with hers. Feelings were washing over her again, but it felt like pure water pouring over her heart, rather than acidic blood. She kissed him, and inside she felt like her heart was singing.
Tifa turned over and buried her face in the pillow. Despite her protests, Cloud had been adamant that she sleep in his bed and that he take the couch for the duration of her visit. Tifa pressed her face further into the pillow - there. Although Cloud had generously offered his bed, he had forgotten to change his sheets. But Tifa didn't mind - in fact, every morning she had taken the opportunity to inhale his scent. Realizing that she should start moving so that she could spend some time with Cloud before leaving, Tifa dragged herself to the shower. It was a little disheartening to wash away the smell of Cloud, but she didn't have a very good excuse for not showering, and she knew he'd ask. Sometimes she wished she could wash away her feelings for him as easily as she could wash away dirt. Things would be easier that way.
Cloud smiled at her when she entered the kitchen, and it made Tifa feel warm all over. Sometimes she almost thought that Cloud loved her back. But she knew that wasn't true. Cloud didn't love her any more than a friend, and she should be happy that she had someone who considered her such a special friend. But…she desperately wanted more than that. Everyone in AVALANCHE considered Tifa to be an optimistic, cheerful person. It was harder for them to see how lonely she was inside. She looked up from her plate to see Cloud looking at her with concern. Catching her eye, he quickly returned to his newspaper. His eyes were so blue….tears flooded her eyes as she became overcome with the feelings inside of her. Her week visiting Cloud was over, and she still couldn't tell him how she felt….she'd probably never be able to. All she wanted was for him to hold her…make her feel safe…loved. She slid a forkful of scrambled eggs into her mouth, running her tongue over the sharp points on the fork. Sometimes she needed pain, craved it. Especially when it was making her numb inside.
She abruptly stood up and took her plate to the sink.
"You're done already?" asked Cloud.
"Yes," she said without looking at him, "I'm going to go check and make sure the trains are running on time." She walked into the living room and sat down on the couch, flipping to the public channel that displayed any cancellations and delays. Breathing in deeply, she realized she could smell Cloud here, too; of course, he had slept here. Loneliness washed over her, and she pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them and pressing her face into her legs. Suddenly, she felt Cloud's weight on the couch and she flinched.
"Shh…." He said softly, running his hand down the length of her tense arm until his arm covered hers. He pressed his other hand against her elbow. His body was so warm…Tifa's muscles clenched tighter and she wished Cloud would go away and just let her cry. She could feel his head against hers, felt his breath hot against her cheek.
"Tifa…there's something I need to tell you before you go. I keep trying to, or thinking that somehow you'll just know, but…I don't think you do." He was close now, so very close…his lips grazed the skin on her shoulder. "And you need to know. You need it desperately and I know that, but I'm scared - ever since Aeris…" Tifa flinched again, much more noticeably than the first time. Cloud threaded his fingers through her hair. "Ever since Aeris died, I've been too scared to trust anyone. I trusted AVALANCHE when I had to, but Aeris took something away when she left. And it wasn't because I loved her Tifa, I never did. Aeris was just a good friend. A very special person, but only a friend." He lowered his head, burying his face into her cheek. She could feel his eyelashes. "It's you that I love, Tifa. I've always loved you, I think. And I think I always will. I just….I've wanted to tell you, but I've been too afraid. It's so hard for me to open myself up…but then when I think about you leaving, I…" he kissed her on the cheek. And then he did it again.
Tifa's eyes were closed, and her face was still pressed into her legs. Cloud tasted tears on her cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Tifa, don't cry…shh, don't cry." She turned to him, and cried softly into his shoulder while he wiped her tears away, holding her close.
"I'm sorry, Cloud. It's just that everything you said - I feel the same way. But I never - I never thought that you could--" He cut her off by gently pressing his lips against hers. He laced his fingers together with hers. Feelings were washing over her again, but it felt like pure water pouring over her heart, rather than acidic blood. She kissed him, and inside she felt like her heart was singing.