Warning: Cheating

Spoilers: Up to New York. Goes AU after that.

Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with Glee, I'm just a fan with an overactive imagination.

It was Wednesday night, only slightly longer than a week after New Directions' abysmal performance at Nationals. It also happened to be Kurt and Blaine's three month anniversary, and so they were going out to dinner together.

They knew that, in Lima, it was a bit of a risk, going out together as an obviously gay couple, but Kurt was tired of hiding away for their own safety. He wanted to be able to take his boyfriend out for dinner, and for that boyfriend not to be embarrassed to be there.

So here they are, just like every teenage couple from McKinley out on a date: at Breadsticks. Kurt wasn't in the least bit surprised to see Jacob Ben Israel darting around the parking lot with his camera. He simply took a tight hold of Blaine's hand and breezed straight past the frizzy haired teen.

Kurt was determined to enjoy tonight. He had to prove to himself that this relationship with Blaine really could work out. He wouldn't think about Puck, or their night in New York, or that kiss, or the fact that Puck had somehow talked himself into coming for dinner that Friday… none of it. Kurt was convinced that something about Puck's presence made him drop about twenty IQ points.

Well, not tonight.

Tonight was about proving that he had made the right choice. That he had a wonderful, charming boyfriend who most definitely did not need replacing with a Mohawked ex-con.

They were shown to their table, sat down and ordered their drinks. Kurt perused his menu, trying to find the salad with the fewest number of calories.

After getting into a complicated bit of mental arithmetic regarding the contents of the Caesar salad and the Italian salad (because really, how are you supposed to calculate the number of calories if they won't even tell you what the ratio of cheese to lettuce is?) Kurt was shocked to look up to hear Blaine ordering for him. And he was ordering what appeared to be the fattiest items on the menu.

Kurt nudged his leg under the table, "Um, Blaine? A word?"

His boyfriend turned away from the waitress with a cheery smile. "What is it, Kurt?"

"You were ordering the mega burger for me? And the Tex Mex salad?"

"Well, yeah, Kurt. Come on, it's our anniversary! Let yourself go a little! Worry about your waistline tomorrow."

Blaine was so merrily optimistic that Kurt couldn't deny him. He nodded to the waitress with a fixed grin on his face. "Go ahead."

A thought flitted to the front of his mind that Puck would have let him order what he liked, and then told him that he didn't need to worry about calories and all that, because he was sexy as he was.

That thought was hastily shoved away into the back of his mind, and he turned the conversation to the latest issue of Vogue, which had contained an article with a contentious attitude to wearing fur from rare creatures.

Kurt relaxed as they happily discussed the ins and outs of the article, moving on to the serious subjects of men's shoes and women's hats.

This was what he wanted. A boyfriend with whom he could make a throwaway comment about a piece of couture, and he would immediately pick up the reference, and be able to offer his own opinion.

He loved the back and forth they had between them; there was never a lull in conversation (except for when Kurt made a joke about Dorothy Lee from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes that went so far over Blaine's head it nearly hit the lampshade).

Kurt couldn't imagine a pleasanter way to spend an evening than discussing fashion with someone who really knew what they were talking about, even if their opinions wildly differed over some of the more radical items of clothing.

At least, he couldn't until he caught sight of a boy on the other side of the room, who was looking at his date with the exact same hopeful expression as the one Puck had worn just two days ago.

And suddenly it all came flooding back – that feeling that Kurt couldn't quite catch his breath, because how could one breathe when someone so gorgeous wanted you?

Kurt's heart started to hammer as he pushed those thoughts away. The bill arrived, and he took out his wallet to pay.

"Kurt." Blaine's voice sounded reprimanding. "I thought I was going to pay for tonight. It's our anniversary."

"So? I asked you come here, I should pay."

"But I'm-… I mean, I like paying for you."

"That's really… sweet, and gentlemanly, Blaine, but I'm not a girl. There's no call for your wonderful old school charm."

"You… you're right. That's fair. I'll pay next time."

Smiling in agreement, Kurt handed his card to the waitress, and paid for both of them.

As they walked out of the restaurant, Kurt slipped his hand into Blaine's, entwining their fingers. He liked the feeling of having another person's hand there – he felt more secure in himself when he was connected to someone else like that.

Just the feeling that you don't have to worry about touching someone, you can just hold their hand and they'll hold yours. It was a very comforting feeling.

Blaine drove them back to his house (where's Kurt's car was) in companionable silence – Blaine was not a confident driver, and distractions were liable to cause anything from a slight swerve to a major collision. It was far safer for Kurt to hum contentedly along to the Maria Callas CD echoing from the car's stereo.

When they arrived, Blaine vanished briefly into the cellar, returning with a bottle of champagne that he poured out into two elegant flutes.

"I thought you might like something a little classier that usual to celebrate," he said with a cheeky grin.

"But of course," Kurt replied, smiling. "Though anything is a step up from Dad's sparkling cider."

Blaine chuckled in response as they sat down on the couch. The house was, as usual, empty apart from them. Blaine's parents were very busy people.

As Kurt sipped from his glass, Blaine took his free hand in his own. "I want to thank you, Kurt. You've been an amazing boyfriend for the last three months."

"You've not been so bad yourself," Kurt replied, teasingly. But his heart wasn't in it, he realised as he raised his glass in a mini toast and took another sip. Blaine was very good at all the conversation-y stuff, but there was just nothing beyond that that Kurt wanted from him. That wasn't right, surely? He had been dating him for three months. There must be something more that he wanted, sexually speaking.

Kurt realised that this was his chance to find out, as Blaine was stroking the back of Kurt's hand in the way that he always did before they started making out.

Blaine's hand slipped up his arm, and Kurt leaned into the kiss. He tried to make it more than usual, looking for more than just the usual, slightly uncomfortable feeling of Blaine's lips against his own.

He slid one hand around the back of Blaine's head, feeling his hair running through his fingers. His right hand made its way to Blaine's waist as he brought his boyfriend in closer.

Blaine sensed the increased force in Kurt's kisses, and responded, his tongue delving deeper, his hands moving further than before. Kurt allowed his boyfriend to push him onto his back, their legs entangling along the length of the couch.

Blaine's hand started to trail along Kurt's stomach to the front of his skinny jeans, and Kurt gasped at the feeling.

It felt strange; there was no other word for it. It felt like a foreign object was moving closer and closer to his belt buckle, and Kurt tensed. He didn't want this. He didn't want Blaine's hands on him like this. He especially didn't want Blaine's hands there.

Kurt knew he should be enjoying this. He should be getting hard, he should want his boyfriend's touches. But he really, really didn't.

There was nothing else for it. Kurt moved and deftly intercepted Blaine's hands, pushing him up and off him. He rolled them around so they were once more sitting next to each other.

Blaine's face was a mixture of confused and apologetic.

"Kurt… are you okay? What happened? I'm sorry, I shouldn't've…"

"Blaine, I'm sorry, I can't do this," Kurt said at the same time. "Blaine, listen to me. I don't think… I don't want to… to do these things with you."

Blaine's confusion increased. "That's totally okay, Kurt. I thought you wanted… I'm sorry I pushed you. It won't happen again. I won't try for anything more that kissing until you're ready."

"That's just it, Blaine. I'm not ever gonna be ready."

"Sure you will, Kurt. Some people just take longer than others, that's all. And I promise, I will never try and push you to be ready when you aren't."

"No, Blaine. I meant, I'm not ever gonna be ready to do it with you."

"Just give it some time, Kur-"

"No! I know I'm ready! In New York, Puck and me, we…" Kurt trailed off, his eyes bulged, horrified at what had slipped out of his traitorous mouth.

"What… what happened in New York, Kurt?" Blaine looked worried now.

"Noah… Noah and I…" Kurt's breath was fast now, his conscience pricking him, making him confess. "We… we got off together. I… I cheated on you. With him. In New York."

"Kurt, what-?"

"That's how I know it's not just me! I am ready. I was fine with letting him… um… do stuff. But I'm not ever gonna be ready to do stuff like that with you."

Blaine was silent, his eyes wide. His face was a mask of shock.

"I'm sorry, Blaine. Please believe me, I am so sorry that I did that to you. But… we can't… I don't want… it'll never work between us if I can do that with him and not with you."

"With Puckerman?" The distaste in his tone was clear.

"Yes, with Puck. With Noah," Kurt said, hurrying over his words in a slightly dismissive tone of voice. Why did it matter to Blaine who it had been? All that mattered was that it was someone other than him.

"The guy who used to throw you in dumpsters?"

"That was years ago, Blaine. And that's not the point."

"So you had sex with a guy who used to bully you every day, and you won't even let me touch your belt buckle?" Blaine was angry now, his temper rising.

"He's more than that, Blaine, he's changed since he joined Glee. We all have. And I didn't have sex with him. Not… not all the way." Kurt had to stop himself shuddering at the thought. He couldn't imagine anal sex being anything other than downright unpleasant.

"So what did you do?" Blaine challenged him.

Kurt looked at him incredulously, "You really want to know?"

"Yes," Blaine said angrily. "I want to know what it was you let him do that you wouldn't let me, your boyfriend, do."

"We just… we didn't… Blaine, it doesn't matter exactly what we did."

"Did you let him suck you off?"

"N- Blaine! Whatever we did, it wasn't me 'letting' him do it. We did it together."

"So you reciprocated?"

"I…. yes. Blaine, why do you want to know this?"

"Because, Kurt, I want to know exactly what it was that I wasn't good enough for. I thought we were in love!"

"We… you… I love you, Blaine. I really do. But I haven't been in love with you for a long time."

"So every time you told me you loved me, you were lying."

"No, I wasn't!"

"You know, what I don't get is why even bothered going out with me? It obviously wasn't for the sex."

"Because I enjoyed going out with you, Blaine! I wanted a relationship, and you made it so easy, and I loved our dates, and having someone who really understood what it's like to be gay in a small town."

Blaine was silent for a moment.

"I think you should go now, Kurt."

"Can we… can we still be friends?"

"I… no. No."

Kurt nodded. He rose to his feet, and made his way to the door.

"Kurt!" Blaine called after him, standing up from the couch.

"Yes?" Kurt replied, turning back towards him.

"Were you in love with him? Was that why you did it?"

"No. No, it wasn't. He just… he made me feel like I was the most desirable person on earth."

"And I didn't?"

"No. Never."

"So you don't love him?"

Kurt leaned on the doorframe and took a steadying breath before he replied, "No… not yet."

"And you… you think you could?" It was unlikely that Blaine could have got more venomous disbelief into those few words even if he tried.

Kurt shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe."

Blaine nodded and sat back down. There was nothing more to say.

Kurt left the house, got in his car, and drove straight home. That was definitely not the way he had planned on the evening going.

Somehow, his first three-month anniversary had turned into his first break up. And yet, bizarrely, his first sexual experience during that those three months had been with someone completely different. Someone else who claimed to love him.

Kurt buried himself in his bed and tried to fall quickly asleep, doing his utmost not to remember the feeling of Noah's body thrusting against his, the thrill, the feeling of power, and the sweet contentment after it was over. Not remember the pleading look in those hazel eyes as he had begged Kurt to give him a chance. Not remember the way those lips had pressed so fleetingly against his own, leaving him tingling in a way that Blaine's never had.

He definitely needed to have a serious talk with Noah on Friday.

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