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HI THERE FIRST THANKS FOR CLICKING IN MY STORY AND THIS IS FOR THE DYNAMIT CONTEST SO READ ENJOY AND REVIEW
Rikki's pov
I slowly opened my eyes as the sunlight where passing through my window my dad wasn't at home and that was good because the resent events of my life since Emma left my life has been a mess, Cleo prefers to be with Bella than me and I understand why and is better for everyone to be away from me because I'm a monster and no one can help me I'm alone like always I don't even know how to get out from this and I don't think I want the only think I know is who made me become in this I hate that person with all my heart and I'm afraid of him too.
Everyone thought that he was the greatest person you can ever know so sweet and handsome and a real gentleman, but that was the outside, that was what everyone wanted to see and was able to see he was the perfect boy but in the inside he was a person without soul and with the heart of rock because if he could have a bit of heart he couldn't hurt me like he did I close my eyes as I remember what he did to me and I can feel how my heart is burning at least my heart is still there because my soul left a long time ago.
I walk out of my house to go to see people that I thought I could never talk to but right now they are the only friends that I have but I stop as I see the blue water of the ocean it is calling me but I refuse to go in because it isn't like it used to be it isn't beautiful anymore, no without my friends, and I'm afraid I can see them there because they hate me because tear us apart, because they only see the outside of him and they aren't able to see the inside of him, they can't see the monster, and I don't want them to get hurt.
I breath out before leaving but then I bump into someone and I start to shake like I always do whenever I see him. Hi Rikki! He says with a devious smile, I'm so scared that I can't even move any part of my body but I can feel that my cheeks are already wet, I'm crying! And I want to run but the fear is bigger than me is stronger than me, he only smiles before leaving me there shaking and crying.
Hey Rikki what's up with you! One of my friends asks
No….nothing! I say
It is a bad day. Isn't it? Well I know what can make you feel better come with me
I walk like a zombie behind her like if nothing else matter, she was my only friend and everyone could say that she wasn't a real friend that she was only damaging my life more than it was before but she was the only one that was there every time I had a bad day and the only one that knew how to make me feel better.
Here is! She said as she gives me some drugs I look at her before take the drugs in my hands and then I start to feel relaxed and I start to forget that tragic day and it makes me feel happy because only this can help me to erase only for a moment the pain that I'm living
Ohh! How good does It feel to walk without feel my feet I said as other boys of the gang come in.
Wow girls is only nine and you have already got your first hit of the day. Why don't you invite us to join your little party. One of them says as he sits next to us. You guys are so lucky that I got this! He says as he take out some pills.
What's that? I ask
One of the best drugs you can have in your life! He answers before giving one to me
I don't have money! I say before grabbing it
You can pay in another way, in the way that I love! He says smiling
But you told me that all new kinds of drugs were free! I say a bit angry
Of course but I'm vary sure you will want more after this one he says as I put the pill in my mouth. And almost a minute after I start to feel the best sensation that I have ever feel, I feel peace and calm with it and I feel relieved from my problems but the sensation only last for a few minutes and he was right I want more and I have to pay with money or the other way that I had paid him when I don't have money.
So… do you want more? He asks
I just say yes with my head and he lead me upstairs in a bedroom of the big house where we spend all the day, he closes the door and I start to feel nervous of what I'm about to do, even if I had done it so many times it still makes me remember that day I shake as he starts remove my clothes and close my eyes as we lay on the bed but it doesn't matter because after this the pill will help me forget about everything again.
And after a day with my friends and drugs I go home, this has been so typical since six months ago I stop when I hear someone laughing, it's Cleo I could never forget that laugh I turn around as I see her and Bella heading to the beach probably going for a swim, but they stop when they see me and they start at each other not knowing what to do but I turn around before one of hem has the chance to say something I look down as I try to hide the tears that come down my cheeks and I don't know how I'm not used to cry if I do it everyday but I prefer it to be in this way but I feel bad as I remember their eyes full of sadness wanting to tell me something that I don't want to hear.
I finally arrive home and my dad is waiting for me but I only pass next to him not even saying good night because that could make him feel a bit of hope that one day I will be Rikki again, but there is not hope for me, maybe because I don't want to be helped, maybe because my life is ruined and I know that if I involve them they will just get hurt and I can't let him to do it.
Fear have made me a different person, because I'm afraid of everything and everyone even my friends, I'm afraid they won't believe me if I tell them the truth, I'm afraid that my dad and Zane will hate me because what I have done and because I let him do this to me and I'm afraid of him and that maybe one day he will want to hurt me again. My life isn't about happiness but it is about fear.
I wake up again and is the same as the other days my dad isn't at home, I think he prefers to be away from me because he can't stand seeing me like this, seeing how his daughter is hurting herself, how his daughter is killing herself, but I turn around when someone is trying to open my bedroom's door and run to a corner as I see him inside my bedroom.
No please! I say already crying, but he doesn't hear me and grabs me by the hair throwing me to my bed.
You better cooperate or it will hurt just as the first time! He says, but I fight but before I can reach the door he grabs my leg making me fall to the ground.
If you don't want on your bed then it will be on the floor! He says as he start to rip my clothes and I scream but is already late and I realize that no one is going to hear me like that day and I just wait there until he decides that is enough, until he had got what he wanted, and he leaves like if nothing has happened and lets me there shaking and crying really hard, crying like I haven't done in six months, and all the memories that I have been trying to erase appear in my head like a horror movie, I close my eyes in a desperate attempt to put them out of my head but it is useless, and I let out of my throat a scream of rave, and I scream until I don't have air in my lungs and the tears are still falling like drops of water in a rainy afternoon as all the memories of that day crash with my head.
Hey Rikki!
Oh hey will!
So what are you doing alone I thought you could be with Zane. will said
No he is busy now! I said a bit sad because we couldn't spend to much time together like we used to do
Oh well so we can have a walk together then! He said
Why not! I said not knowing that, that day my life practically was going to end
And we walked along the beach all the afternoon until it was already dark
Well Will it was nice but I have to go home now, thanks for the company!
Your welcome! But can I ask you something?
Of course! I said
Could you come with me to buy some supplies!
Umm fine but we have to hurry or my dad is going kill me if arrive late to home!
Ok lets go then, we went for the supplies and then to his house, the house I entered so many times without knowing there could be the place where the worst day of my life took place.
Ok bye! I said but he grabbed my hand and started to kiss me and the truth is that at first I didn't put resistance but when he started to stroke my leg I tried to stop him.
No will wait!
Why if we are alone and together!
No will I can't do this to Zane and Bella!
Come on I promise you, it will like you!
No! I said with that I pushed him away but I knew he wasn't to give up, and he didn't
Will please stop! I said crying when he was on top of me. Don't do this please I said kicking but he was stronger than me and at the end he raped me.
Don't say anything or you will die or maybe one of your friends I don't know what option could be better but I'll take revenge is you say something.
I'll take a walk and I don't want to see you here when I return okay! And those were his last words before leave.
Everyone noticed my change but I couldn't tell them, I didn't want to put them in danger and a few days after that I broke up with Zane because even thought I knew he couldn't hurt me I had this feeling whenever I was near him or any men including my dad.
They soon realized what happened but I never told them who did it and finally I discovered that drugs help to forget your problems.
I heard footsteps going to my bedroom and I curled up in a ball thinking that it was him again and that he wanted more but it wasn't him, it was other person that I haven't seen in a long time.
OMG! Rikki what happened here!
I tilted my face when I recognized his voice
Zane! Were the only words that could come out of my mouth before I let out the sobs.
He hug me please tell me who did this to you! Rikki I want to help you, I want to fine the person that ruined your life and ruined mine too. I want to be with you Rikki because I love you and I have always love you please Rikki come back I miss you, I miss the girl that has a beautiful smile, the girl the can make everyone laugh with her sarcasm, I want to see those beautiful blue eyes again, I want to see the girl that I fell in love, Zane said crying while hugging me.
In that moment nothing else matter for me I didn't care If he could kill me I just wanted someone to take revenge for me, I just wanted someone to make him pay for what he did and I made the decision lifting my head looking him in the eyes pronouncing those words that opened wounds in my heart every time I heard them.
Will…
He looked at me and then I noticed how his eyes were full of anger, hate, I could feel how his heart has beating so fast while was stroking my hair but then what I was praying not to happen, happened… Will walked in.
You! Zane said as he punched him on the face. Will fell to the ground but then he took out a gun pointing it to Zane.
I told you I was going to hurt your loved ones if you said something! He screamed
No please! I'm sorry! I said but he didn't hear me and I started to scream in an attempt to make him change his mind but he was to upset. And then the shoot.
And this is how everything was in suspense, everything was calm in silence. Everything motionless, quiet, my screams weren't hear anymore and then the darkness took part of me.
When I woke up I was in a white room then I heard some whispers and then I saw him, Zane he was holding my hand I was so relived when I saw him I thought Will killed him, then I remembered it I received the bullet from the shoot.
Oh thanks god you woke up! He said
I didn't know what to say so I just smiled for first time in so many time.
Umm I know that maybe you don't want to hear this but the police arrived in time and when he started to shoot at them they had to shoot him… he is dead Rikki
I let the air come out of my lungs, as tears started to run down my cheeks, finally I was going to be free.
After a week in hospital my dad took me to rehab I had therapy for a long time and happy now but I learned that a druggie will be a druggie the rest of its life not because people calls us like that but because I learned that the drugs addiction is a sickness that can't be healed but can be controlled, I learned that therapy will last for the rest of my life because I have to learn to control myself and not search for drugs every time I feel frustrated yeah this experience affected me for the rest of my life but I have learned that no matter what I have to fight all my fears, for me and for the ones that surround me…
Phrase
no one opens them the door but they enter anyway, fears get installed in our lives and stain our eyes of mistrust. we are afraid of the enemy and that finally he will win the game... we are afraid of our friend and that finally he is not the kind and good person that we think. There are so many fears: to danger, to different, to the unknown, to loneliness, to future... but all merge into one, the biggest: the fear of not being loved, fear is healthy in a point because it protects you and keeps you alert but if fear freeze you, bad signal and the only way to understand fear is face it...