Pick Up Lines
Originally I was trying to make it part of Starkisms. Before I realized this isn't really Tony being snarky. Or anyone being snarky at all. But I liked this little tidbit so much that I decided to just make it it's own little stand alone drabble. Sorry it's super short but I hope y'all enjoy!
Disclaimer: The Avengers and any related characters belong to Marvel.
"Y-You one sexy mama." All heads turned up from their workstations. Normally it would be Tony standing somewhere looking smug. The least anyone expected was the bright red Steve Rogers standing in front of Tony's workstation, looking like he was about to die of embarrassment.
The said millionaire looked blankly at the rapidly reddening Captain, a soldering iron in hand still working on soldering some titanium to the cracks of his suit. "Um Cap..." He said slowly, an eyebrow raised. Steve snapped instantly into an upright position, pulled a crumpled sheet of paper from his pocket and read from the top.
"Y-You are looking very s-sexy tonight, p-pet."The Mjölnir slowly slipped from the God of Thunder's hand resulting in a resounding thud in the room as well as a deep crater in the floor. The whole awkwardness of the situation had even Director Fury speechless.
"Um Capsicle, what are you doing?"
"I'm trying to um... pick you up... using the lingo people these days say." Well that made a whole world of sense. Leave it up to Steve to try too hard.
"Steve... no one really uses those anymore." Bruce offered, trying to send a small smile over to the blonde.
"Except for losers." Tony bluntly interjected, watching Bruce and pretty much everyone else in the room slap themselves in the head.
"Um... so... these don't work?" Steve asked, clearly confused at this point. The Iron Man threw an arm around him and took the paper from his hands, tearing it up into pieces.
"Cap, I'm a simple kind of guy. Just ask me out to dinner next time ok?"