A/N This is my first fanfic, so please be nice!
Disclaimer: The only character I own in this fanfic is Mr Twiggy (don't ask- read on instead), the rest of them belong to Louise Rennison.
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Chapter 1 - The Sex God's Stupidiosity
Friday 17 June
06.30pm Life is poo.
06.31pm Life is merde.
06.32pm In fact, life is triple merde with knobs on.
06.33pm What is wrong with the Sex God? He has abandoned his wonderful career as a pop star (full of glamourosity) and gone to live with sheep! For a year! Yes, it's true, Robbie has chosen Kiwi-a-gogo land over snogging moi. In other words, he has moved to New Zealand.
07.55pm Feeling a bit peckish now actually. Maybe I'll go downstairs and find a nourishing snack (ie. a pop tart) if I can be bothered. All this miseriosity has given me an appetite; I need to keep my strength up.
08.00pm I have just met my mad cat Angus on my way to the kitchen. He had a little furry thing in his mouth. It was still wriggling so I thought I'd better confiscate it. Unfortunately Angus didn't want to let go, he put up a good fight.
08.02pm After having finally reached the bottom of the stairs, Libby comforted me with these kind words, "Heggo Gingey, you habe jammy on your leg." I looked down to find my leg bright red. There was quite literally a river of blood streaming down my leg and onto the carpet. I had only one word to say.
"F***."
08.05pm I have wrapped up my leg in an old towel. Hopefully Mutti won't notice.
08.30pm I hobbled downstairs for some food and found my dear Mutti and Vati practically eating each other. I am living in a house of porn. What does Mutti see in him, his snoggosity is as good as a cabbages. I mean, I aime les cabbages very much, but it's true, he does.
11.00pm Have finally remembered why I went downstairs in the first place, to feed my sadnosity. Oh Robbie, how will I ever live without you?
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Finished. Phew! Did you like it? I'm putting the first 3 chapters up for starters but if I get five reviews I will update, so if you want more, please r & r.