A/N: The following is a parody and a fanfiction. I own only my characters and the plot. I also don't apologize for the following political jokes, but I will apologize if any other joke offends you.

The Warper News Network (the series)

January 2019

(Cues: Z-TV Techno Song)

The logo flashes with three letters, "WNN", the Warper News Network. WNN is one of the three major news networks among reality warpers.

"WNN, the place that's not fake-conservative Fox, idiotically liberal MSNBC, and more classy than Nude News Network. We're the Warper News Network bringing you our neutral outlook! Introducing your favorite anchors, Cabba and Kale." The announcer said as the lights shine on the set.

Cabba and Kale were in business suits instead of their usual wear with updated New Years' hats.

"We're all here with 2019, everyone. We apologize for the late broadcast, and we hope the smaller networks covered for us." Cabba remarked with a small smile. "We were all on vacation and brainstorming new ideas for the network."

"Our first order of business is in the obvious that another universe has fallen. One famously inhabited by Ryker Blackthorn of the Blackthorn clan. This is following a trend of Steven Universe-related worlds falling apart at the seems or being flat out destroyed by jaded warpers. Characters from the verses are even facing some mistreatment. Of course, non-warpers getting mauled isn't an issue, but it is when warper versions get the shaft as well." Kale remarked sympathetically.

"On the positive side, safe havens for Gems are on the rise. Even those Church of Interga fellows aided in a recuse op for a group of those. Now to Vegeta with politics…wait, Vegeta, why are you here?" Cabba said as the camera turned to reveal Vegeta leaning up against the wall bored out of his mind.

"The government's been shut down….for four weeks! So, I don't anything to report other than the protesters demanding their pay. I'm going home…" Vegeta said before leaving the studio mutter curses under his breath.

"Guess, we'll go to Chi-Chi for Entertainment." Cabba said as the camera shifted to another area of the studio.

Chi-Chi was in a music center wearing clothes more fitting of a rocker than a mother. She wear big grey headphones on her ears and was jamming out to music.

"Where did all the love go, yeah? Where did all the ends go, yeah?" Chi-Chi sang before noticing the camera was live.

She fell out of her chair but sprang back up into it trying to look professional.

"I apologize for the unprofessional interdiction, I was listening in to the new hit single by producer Akeem Lawanson; Where Did All the Love Go? by Ed, Edd, n Eddy ft. Rolf." Chi-Chi said sheepishly. "Same producer released a sequel, "Single D". Both songs are high up on the charts and there are plenty of people clamor for an adult show of the comical trio."

"Moving to TV, with the end of Steven Universe Blackthorned, there's been talk on if a sequel series will be made. Nobody seems to have an answer, and ratings for "Pokémon Loud Version" continue to steadily rise." Chi-Chi said. "Now we move to Krillin on crime."

The camera shifted to another room where Krillin awaited with Lazuli prepared for the audience. Krillin had a grim look on his face.

"It's a real shame, but there's been a small spike in hate crimes and discrimination against Gems. Specifically, against agates, pearls, lapis lazulis, and diamonds. Of course, this is usually coming from Gems of other types." Krillin remarked.

"On the matter of other crimes, warpers should be the lookout for…." Lazuli said only for her phone to buzz.

She looked to it seeing it was a text with a photo attached. She opened it up only to pale seeing the message. The normally icy gynoid had a look of fear on her face and has promptly bolted from the studio as if her life depending on it leaving Krillin stunned.

"Cut to…commercial." Krillin said going after her.

The feed went to static before new footage showing airing a trailer for Remnant's Four Shadows which shows Team YUKI watching the latest episodes of RWBY.

"Are you kidding me? Adam's…basically me, but really poorly written!" Yuki said tossing his popcorn.

"At least, he doesn't have Silver Eyes." Kelly said rolling her eyes.

Lapis and Ivory were more interested in their scrolls than Adam's whining.

The commercial ended and it cut back to the studio where Cabba and Kale had worried looks.

"It seems we have to cut today's broadcast short…we have a bit of an emergency." Kale said sweating a bit.

"So, we'll be seeing you…next time." Cabba said before they left.

Cabba had dropped his phone to which the camera panned to show a text.

It would a shame if you warned the public about me….you wouldn't want your child and her godmother to get hurt, don't you?

There was an attach photo, a simple one of Caulifla taking little Taydo out on a scroll in the park unaware someone took her photo.

The camera glitched out and went to static showing a flash of a red X….ending the broadcast.

(A/N: Uh oh…who's threatening the news crew? Well, this is going to be an issue in the near future for a certain set of people. Look forward to more!)