Title: A HOUSE IS NOT A HOME
Author: Brokeback Mountain
Rating: FRAO – NC-17
Disclaimer: These characters belong to Annie Proulx. I just borrow them from time to time.
Summary:
A HOUSE IS NOT A HOME
Ennis pitched the empty whiskey bottle at the pile of trash in the corner. It landed somewhere in the vicinity. His head lolled back against the back of his chair. He hated these monthly visits to
Alma. It was strictly to hand her the $125 cash money still owed each month for Jenny. Just a few more months and she'd be 18 and the visits to Alma's place would stop. It would be a relief. Not so much for the money, which was indeed hard to come by for a ranch hand, but the true relief would be not having to see Alma's sad accusing face staring at him; glaring daggers, more likely. She hated him with such a passion it was hard to remember there was a time when she
actually loved him, but that was long ago.
He lifted the edge of his undershirt and reached up under and scratched himself. A memory came flooding back to him of Jack sliding his cold hands up under his shirt and how they laughed when Ennis yelped from the coldness of the fingers caressing his nipples. The laughter led to wrestling and the wrestling to what it always did. It was a good memory; one of his favorites. The corners of his mouth turned up slightly in that half grin of his. "Sure hope I can stand it till August, Bud."
He wondered if another drink might help and was rummaging through the cabinets looking for another bottle when a car came driving up outside really fast. It skidded to a stop a few feet from his front door.
Junior came running through the door and flung herself into her daddy's arms. "Junior, darlin what's wrong? That boyfriend of yours do something he oughtnt? If he hurt you in any way I'm gonna lay some hurtin on him he won't soon forget." He smoothed her hair and held her close.
"No, Daddy. No it's not Kurt. Oh my God, Daddy. It's Jack! Your Jack!" She flung open a battered newspaper at him.
The blood went cold in his veins and he took the paper from her. It had been folded back and there was a small photo of Jack in his cowboy hat; smiling. Underneath some lines read "local man critically beaten".
"What is this?" he demanded. "Where'd you get this?" He shook the paper in her face. He had to rage at someone and she was the only one there.
"It's the Childress newspaper, Daddy. Kurt's room mate is from down there and he brought some stuff from home and it was wrapped around some breakables he had. I saw the picture and I knew right away it was him. It is him, isn't it Daddy?'" It all came out in one breath.
"Yeah, it's him alright. Let me read what it says and see what's going on". He walked closer to the window for the light and read. The article itself wasn't all that informative. Just saying how a
local man was beaten and in critical condition at the local hospital and a investigation was underway and that Jack was the son-in-law of a prominent local businessman. Just a few sentences really; meaning nothing much to anybody; anybody but him.
"How'd you come to know about...him?" He was stone inside now, rigid with fear.
"I met him once, remember? About five years ago right after you and Momma...you know."
"Go on" her Daddy prompted. "What else do you think you know?"
"Oh Daddy!" She was exasperated with him. "I'm not a child. I can put two and two together. I always thought how wonderful it was that your fishing friend came all the way from Texas to visit you 'cause it made you so happy. Later on, well, I got to thinking about things and it was really the only time you was ever happy. When you were waiting on him to get here and right after
he left." She looked down at the floor and nudged a dirty coffee cup out of the way with her toe. "I never saw you really happy any other times." Years of sadness etched in her voice.
Tears stung his eyes and he turned again to the window, so she wouldn't see. "He's probably dead and buried by now." he said half under his breath.
"Daddy the paper's only a week old. It's got the name of the hospital in it. Let's call and see if he's alright?" She took the paper and looked for the name of the hospital. "Here it is!" She
grabbed for the phone and started dialing.
His heart began to pound and his pulse raced. "They got him. They fucking got him!" It
came out in a gasp. "I tell you Junior, he's in the ground!" He couldn't move he was struck to stone; rigid and dying a little at a time, bit by bit.
"Yes, Ma'am that's right." She was saying into the phone "Jack Twist. I know you can't give me any information over the phone. I'm just askin if he's still a patient there? That's all, can't you at
least tell me that? I'm callin all the way from Wyoming!" She was silent for a heartbeat, while Ennis's heart didn't beat at all, he was sure.
"Yes. I'm his cousin. We just heard about it and we need to know if he's alright?" Another moment of silence.
Ennis thought he might pass out. Or maybe just die, right now, right here before some damn nurse down in Texas saw fit to answer Junior's questions.
"He is!" She turned with a big smile for her daddy. "Is his condition still critical?" More silence. "Thank you so much. I really do appreciate your time. Bye." She flung herself at her
daddy. "His condition has been up-graded to serious but they think he's going to be alright. His doctor's name is Hudson if you want to talk to him."
"I ain't talking to no doctor." Ennis pulled away and begin
searching around the small trailer.
"What'cha looking for, Daddy?"
"My clothes; something clean to put on; and I need a map. Junior, can you find me a map? I need to know how to get to Texas" He found a few things that were passable clean.
"You can't go to Texas! What about your job?" Panic rose inside her. "Your old truck will never make the trip!"
"Then I'll take a bus. It don't matter none. The only thing that matters is that I get myself to Childress. You gotta understand this Junior. I'm going!" He took her firmly by the shoulders.
She never even took the time to think about it. She just handed him her keys. "Here, Daddy, take my car. It'll get you there and back."
"I can't take your car. It ain't yours to loan; it's Kurt's" He spotted another shirt behind the chair and lifted it to his nose to smell it. He tossed it into the pile with the others deemed suitable.
"It's mine to do with what I want. Kurt give it to me. Said those very words himself, mine to do with what I want. He got himself a pickup and couldn't get nothing much on a trade in so said I could have it." She knew a silent sadness now. Fear that her Daddy might just not come back.
"You're coming back, aren't you?"
"Yeah darlin girl. I'm coming back. It's Saturday. I can make it down there by nightfall. Spend the night there and get us back here Sunday and make it back to work Monday morning; nobody the wiser." He started for the door.
"You need to shower; clean up. You'll scare him to death if you show up there looking like that!"
He rubbed the wiskers on his chin and decided a quick clean up might be in order.
"You clean up Daddy and I'll get you a map. Be back by the time you're done; I promise." She rushed out the door and took off in a flurry of dust.
The shower felt good, even though the water was cold. One of these days he'd need to look after that hot water heater and see why it wasn't doing its job. The shave felt even better and the old
excitement began to build inside him. A slow grin crept across his face as he wondered what Jack would think when he came walking in. A trickle of fear brought him back to reality and he wondered just what shape Jack would be in.
Jack always said he made this drive in 14 hours but it was going on sixteen hours before Ennis pulled into the hospital parking lot. Of course, Jack was used to traveling round the rodeo circuit and Ennis had never been out of Wyoming. He caught on pretty fast, how to follow the map but he still took a few wrong turns delaying his arrival until nearly 2 AM. Of course, they wouldn't let him in. No visiting at that time of night; patient needs his sleep was all they'd say. He got some sleep out in the parking lot and went back inside.
It was 8:10 when he walked into Jack's room. Jack was laying there gazing out the window and didn't turn as he came in.
"Morning Bud," he mumbled out the side of his mouth, suddenly at a loss for words.
Jack's head snapped around and he just stared. Ennis was shocked by what he saw. Jack's face was various shades of purple, yellow, black and blue. The left cheek bandaged; right arm
in a sling.
"You really here cowboy or am I dreaming again?" The words came out in a whisper.
"I'm here alright." He removed his hat and walked to the edge of the bed. "You OK?"
Jack, wide-eyed in amazement, reached out with his good hand and grabbed onto his arm.
"You real? You're here?"
"I'm here." All the things he had planned to say, had rehearsed on the drive down here were suddenly gone from his mind. That's all he could think of to say.
"OK." Jack answered as if that settled everything. They stayed that way for some time just looking at each other; holding on.
"How'd you get here?" Jack was the one to break the silence.
"Borrowed Junior's car. She got me a map. Didn't get lost too many times;" a short nervous smile.
"Sit down."
He should have sat in one of the two chairs in the room but he sat on the side of the bed not wanting to break the connection as Jack was still holding onto his arm and he liked the feel of it.
"How bad're you hurt?" he managed to get out.
"Not that bad." he lied. He saw the look in Ennis's eyes and it scared him.
"How bad." Ennis insisted on an answer.
Jack took a deep breath and answered, "Dislocated right shoulder, six broken ribs, severe concussion, 12 stitches in my cheek."
"Who and why?" It came out through gritted teeth, lips barely moving as he spoke.
"It was all just a mistake. Just a stupid mistake and the guys have been arrested so there's nothing to worry about." He tried to reassure Ennis that there was no need to "handle" the matter.
"Kinda mistake?" Grim but not quite as fierce.
"This married woman, married to one of our customers, kept trying to, you know, get to me. I swear to God, Ennis. I didn't do nothing wrong with this woman. Come to find out, she was trying to make her husband jealous and told him she was sleeping with me. Him and a coupla his buds caught me one night comin out a bar and just lit into me. I didn't know what the hell was going on till she came to visit me a few days later, all crying and sayin she's sorry about it and all. I know who it was done it and told the police when they came asking. They're in jail right now waiting on a hearing." He wasn't actually sure about the last part but the last thing he wanted
was for Ennis to be out hunting them down.
Ennis swallowed the lump in his throat and the words just seemed to come out. "I come here to take you home with me. It's time now. You wanna go or not?" He had to ask. He never was quite sure each time they said good-bye if things would be the same the next time they saw each other or even if there would be a next time.
Jack's mouth fell open and he stared, dumbstruck. "You serious? You wanna take me home with you; back to Riverton?" He couldn't believe he had heard right. It must be the concussion; he was just hearing what he wanted to hear. Ennis must'a said something else.
"There ain't no discussion here. You either want to go with me or not. Just say it now and I'll be on my way if it's no." He stood and for the first time breaking the physical connection between them. He took a few steps back from the bedside needing some distance between them.
It was at this exact moment that Lureen walked in.
"Morning Jack," she said cheerily taking in the stranger at his bedside. She looked from one to the other and a cloud settled over her heart. "And this is?" She walked up to Ennis and extended her hand. She turned to Jack for an introduction.
"Ennis, Lureen, this is Ennis del Mar." This is not happening! Jack thought; this is a dream or a nightmare. This is not happening!!
Only a moment's hesitation before she took Ennis's hand for a brief moment. She smiled politely. Years of training had prepared her for just such circumstances.
"I'm pleased to finally meet you." She said graciously.
Ennis mumbled something about the same. He was stunned by her presence, the picture of grace and beauty.
Out of nowhere, Ennis found his voice. "I'm taking him with me. I'm not bringing him back." Just like that; to the point. That was Ennis's way.
"I see." She turned to Jack. "You'll be leaving when?" she asked politely.
"When we leaving?" he turned to Ennis for help, this woman always did manage to cow him.
"Right now seems to me is as good a time as any." Ennis placed his hat back on his head and dared Lureen to try and stop them.
"Oh. Ok. Let me get a wheelchair. I saw one out in the hall." She exited the room as if nothing extraordinary had just happened.
"You got some clothes 'round here somewhere?" Ennis started looking in the cabinets and drawers.
Jack swallowed a gulp. "Don't think so. Lureen took them home to wash them and didn't bring them back yet. I wasn't going home for a few more days..." The end of the sentence trailed off.
"You wanna go home with her or home with me?" Ennis thought he'd better get an answer before this went any further.
"You know better'n to ask that question Ennis del Mar." Jack was struggling to get out of bed.
"How hold on there just a minute." Ennis went to help him.
"Here we go." Lureen breezed back in with a wheelchair and wheeled it up beside the bed. "He won't be able to do for himself for a while. You'll be able to take care of him like he needs?" she asked Ennis.
"That I can, Ma'am" he answered.
"You OK with this, Lureen?" Jack answered climbing down into the chair with both of their help.
"Oh Honey." She answered "I always knew the day would come sooner or later. The only happiness I've seen on your face in years is when you're packing to run off on one of your fishing trips with him."
She pulled the blanket from the bed and covered him with it. "You ever change your mind you can always come back; though after finally getting a look at your Ennis, I doubt that'll ever happen."
"I won't be coming back, Lureen." Jack answered.
"I know, I know. You might want to some day though. Just to get a look at Daddy's face." She giggled a little. "He'll be mighty happy when I tell him you're gone. I hate that part of it."
"Yeah," Jack smiled.
They made it to the car without anyone trying to stop them. "Look, come on by the house and I'll help you get your things together. Just follow me." she nodded towards Ennis. She walked to her car alone.
Ennis buckled Jack's seatbelt and scooted hurriedly into the driver's seat.
"She for real?" he asked.
"Yeah, she really is a wonderful person."
"I'd say that don't hardly describe her."
Ennis couldn't believe it when he saw the beautiful neighborhood she led them to; a beautiful old neighborhood in the historical section of downtown. She pulled into the driveway and got out.
"This your home, Jack?" He asked shaking his head. "You sure you want to leave all this? My little trailer would fit in your garage!"
"A house ain't a home, Ennis. Don't matter where you live if you ain't living with the one you want then it ain't much of a home," Jack answered and they both knew that was the truth of that matter.
It took the two of them to ease Jack into the house and up to his room. Ennis helped him to dress as Lureen pulled clothes from the drawers and closet, Jack protesting all the way. "I can do it
myself. I'm not a cripple!" he declared more than once.
Lureen was stacking up stuff left and right calling out now and again, "These?" then stuffing them into a suitcase. Some time later they were sitting at the kitchen table eating soup and
sandwiches while Lureen scurried around doing her best to see that Jack had all he needed. As they were about to leave, the doorbell rang. Lureen answered and came back with a sad smile on her face.
"Here you go." she tossed a set of keys to Ennis. "Jack's birthday present," she explained. "I know it's not for a couple of months yet but I was going to get it for him anyway."
They walked to the window and looked out. A brand new extended cab pickup sat there shining in the sunlight.
"Lureen! There's no reason at all for you to do this!" Jack chastised. "Why you being so nice?" he sill couldn't quite believe all this was happening.
"Jack. Honey, I've been doing a lot of thinking the last couple of hours. I always knew this marriage of ours was 95 me and you was only in it at cause I got pregnant." She walked over to him and took his hand. "You always did right by me; I got no cause to complain. You married me when it was necessary and he helped me stand up to my Daddy on more than one occasion. I appreciate that. I think I always knew your heart was elsewhere I just never guessed it would
turn out to be your old fishing buddy, but what the hell, times are changing. At least I know it wasn't something I did or didn't do. There's no way on God's green earth that I could ever compete with Ennis Del Mar." She smiled, took a deep breath, and went on. "Besides, I've
been thinking it's time I retired. Let Daddy get on with his own business as best he can without me. He never did appreciate how much work I did put into the business anyway. Do you remember my girlfriend Samantha, the one from Dallas?"
"Barely," Jack admitted honestly.
"She's the one who's been divorced three times now, or is it four? I can't remember. Anyway, she has been after me to go to Europe with her do some sightseeing. I'm thinking I might just do that. Have me some time abroad." The situation had been handled the way Lureen
always handled things. Whatever came too you, good or bad, it could
always be made better by a little self-indulgence.
Jack was in awe of her ability to cope with any situation that came
her way.
"Time to get on the road Bud; we got a long drive ahead of us." Ennis was trying to edge them out the door. It worked and in no time at all he had the pedal to the metal and they were flying down the highway; spanking new pickup with Junior's car hitched up behind.
Ennis was not one for long deep soul-bearing conversations; neither was Jack. Jack liked to talk and talk a lot but mostly about lighter things. It was difficult going for awhile.
"You really thought this out; taking me home with you?" Jack asked after driving for quite some time in silence.
"Uh huh." Ennis answered.
"You wanna let me in on it then?"
"I'm sposed to be back at work tomorrow morning. I ain't gonna make it. We'll have to stop for the night, lessen I can keep awake enough to drive us straight through. I called Junior back there when we was getting gas and told her if I hadn't called her by 8:00 tomorrow morning, she's to call my foreman and tell him I had an emergency and that I will get there soon as I can." That was a whole lot of talking for Ennis. It wasn't quite on the subject he wanted to talk about but something he needed to say.
"You not worried 'bout what folks will think?" he finally asked after several more minutes of silence.
"Don't care anymore." The answer was short and sweet.
"You sure about that?" He couldn't quite believe that Ennis had put aside all his years of fear of being found out.
"Yep," was the only answer he got.
The next day it seemed easier to talk. Plans were made. Ennis told how he thought they could both get work at the same place so they could watch out for each other. If they were super careful and not take any chances, they'd be able to make it alright. It was about then that Jack dropped his little bombshell. There would be no need for either of them to hire out as ranch hands as he had managed to put away a good deal of money and now had enough of a stake to put a down payment on a ranch of their own.
Ennis was stunned. He knew Jack lived with money but always thought it belonged to Lureen and her father. Come to find out, Jack was quite a salesman and had been making nice commissions and getting huge bonuses each year. Ennis inquired as to how that came to be seeing as how Jack worked for a man who hated him. Jack explained that Lureen's daddy owned the dealership but not the company that make the farming equipment they sold. The commissions and bonuses came directly from the home office somewhere in Ohio; came straight to him. And by his second year there he was bringing in more commissions than Lureen's
daddy.
"We're talking fifteen years of bonuses and commissions, Ennis, more money than you or I ever seen in our lives!" Jack was quick to add.
Planning veered off in another direction then. They'd stay in the little trailer that Ennis owned while they looked for a place of their own. That would give Jack time to heal up. They both
wanted to stay in Wyoming, their home state so that much was decided. Ennis would quit the ranch he was currently working so he could look after Jack; which Jack denied needing, of course. Ennis insisted and that came to be settled.
Each mile closer to home brought more talk, more planning, more easing of their minds; the two of them opening up more than they ever had before. Hours and hours on the road; plenty of time to talk, time they never had before.
Their last stop before home Ennis called Junior and told her not to bother with calling his foreman. He would take care of it when he got in. It was coming on towards lunchtime when they pulled up next to the dusty old trailer. "Now remember I told you. This place ain't much. And right now it's kinda...well messy." Ennis warned, helping Jack out of the truck.
"Maid's day off?" Jack asked with a grin.
"Seriously, Jack. Maybe this ain't a good idea. Maybe we should find some place in town for you till I can get the place cleaned a bit. And there's the little matter 'bout the hot water heater not
working." Ennis was having second thoughts on bringing Jack to his dumpy little trailer; the memory of the fine house he was leaving, fresh in his mind.
"We never needed no hot-water heater up on Brokeback" Jack reminded him.
Ennis lowered his head, remembering how they bathed up there on the mountain. Was one of his favorite pleasuring-himself memories.
"Are you gonna just stand there cowboy or you gonna invite me in?" Jack just stood there, good arm cradling bad, slight tilt to the head trying to see Ennis's eyes under the brim of his hat.
Ennis unlocked the door and they went inside; stepping over piles of litter scattered about. Ennis cleared off a chair for Jack to sit.
"Whooeee! I hope you caught that polecat what left that stink in here!"
"I know'd we shoulda gone into town. Come on," Ennis was embarrassed by his own sloppiness. It never seemed to matter before where he put stuff. Mostly he just tossed things out of his way or gave them a kick. Didn't seem to matter to him where anything was; whether things were clean or not. In fact, nothing really mattered to him at all. Not until two days ago. Then things started mattering real good.
He tugged at Jack's arm, thinking to take him back out to the truck.
"No, now; we're not going anywhere. We're home now Ennis. All's it needs is a little cleaning. Maybe a backhoe and a dump-truck" he added with a grin.
"I sure am sorry, Jack" Ennis apologized profusely. "I truly am. I just never give it no thought. Once I heard about you the only thought in my head was to get to you and get you back here where I could look after you. I never give no thought at all what this place might look like to you.'"
Jack was shaking his head and grinning. "It's OK, cowboy. Quit your fussin. This place will keep us out of the wind and rain and it won't be no great big chore to clean it up."
"I will clean it up. I can do it in nothing flat." Ennis assured him as hope returned to his face once again.
"This place got a pot to piss in?"
"It surely does; right through this door over here." He showed Jack the way, kicking stuff out of the way to make a path. He didn't remember this place being such a mess. Guess he just never thought about it.
Ennis hurried around the place trying to make some order of it while Jack relieved himself. Clothes went in a pile on the bed, cups and pans in the sink garbage off in one corner. He was picking up pieces of a broken whiskey bottle when he heard his old truck pull up out front. Junior came flying through the door. That girl was always in a dead run!
"Daddy, you're back!" She was in his arms making him drop the mess he'd been picking up. About this same time, Jack came out of the bathroom.
"Oh my God!" she said bringing both hands up to her mouth. "You did it! You brought him back here!"
"Yes, Junior, I surely did."
"Hi, Jack Twist" she said shoving her hand out towards him to be shook. "Do you remember me?"
"How could I ever forget such a pretty little girl!" Jack answered bestowing one of his best smiles on her.
"Oh Daddy; his face! And is his arm broken as well?" She was truly concerned.
"No baby girl, his arm ain't broken. Shoulder was dislocated. He needs to wear that thing for a coupla weeks. Give it time to heal"
"You been cleaning already" Jack noticed looking around and the slightly cleaner place.
"Oh Daddy, this place is a pig sty! How many times I told you that!" She scolded and started hauling dishes and cups towards the sink.
"And it's almost lunchtime and I'll bet you've nothing fit to eat do you!"
Ennis scratched the back of his neck and wondered when it was he bought any groceries last.
"Look. I'll go into town and get some groceries. Do you have any cleaning supplies?" She asked slinging her purse over her shoulder.
"Aaahh I got some rags?" Ennis answered.
"I'll get some cleaning supplies too. Be back shortly. She headed for the door.
"Here, Junior," Ennis fished in his pocket and peeled off a hundred dollar bill off from a wad that Jack had him get from a ATM before they left Childress.
"Give her two." Jack said. "Groceries are expensive."
Ennis did as he was told but gave Jack a stern look. "Just because you got lots of money don't mean you should be throwing it 'round like that." Junior stared at the two bills in disbelief. Never in her life had she held hundred-dollar bills!
"It ain't throwing it around when you're spending it on groceries and such. Cleaning stuff costs a lot too and maybe if you're nice to her she might bring us back some beer" Jack clearly was not intimidated by Ennis's demeanor.
"Alright, alright. I can see I'm outnumbered here. Go ahead. Spend it all. I guess the more stuff you get now the less often we have to go into town," he conceded.
"That's right, Junior agreed. With this much I can get you enough groceries so you won't have to go to town for weeks!" She went happily on her way.
Ennis first job was to bring in all their stuff from the truck. Next, was to find the garbage can that was somewhere back behind the trailer and drug it around to the front door. He left the front door
open and started heaving things out into it one by one. From off the stove a can of beans that he'd burned a week or so ago, heating it up sitting in the frying pan like they did up on the mountain. He'd forgotten about it or passed out; he didn't exactly remember. He did
remember the smoke and the stink it made though. Into the can it went.
He had things pretty much sorted out when Junior returned some time later.
"Son of a bitch! Look at that truck, Jack. I'll bet she spent every dime of that $200!" Jack made his way to the window and saw the old pickup with the entire back piled full of grocery bags. Junior was struggling to carry several at a time and heading to the front door.
"Well don't just stand there. Go give her a hand" Jack laughed and gave Ennis a nudge.
"Did you think to clean out the refrigerator?" she asked breezing into the kitchen.
"Huh?" The thought of cleaning a refrigerator had never occurred to him.
"Oh Daddy!" she scolded. "Did you think I was bringing nothing but canned goods?"
"Ain't nothin wrong with canned goods, daughter!" Ennis defended his eating habits.
They made their way back and forth to the truck till it was empty and the little trailer was stacked with bags everywhere.
"First we clean the refrigerator!" she declared opening it up. "Well that won't be much of a job as it's entirely empty! Daddy what do you eat anyway?"
"I don'no," he answered, "this and that".
First the cold stuff got put away then she brought out the big bag that said KFC on the side and proceded to dish up one fine meal of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, cole slaw and bisquits.
After lunch they went to work. She put Ennis to working scrubbing up the bathroom after a mini lecture on germs; then she started gathering up clothes, towels and bedding and hauled it off to the on-site laundry room. Then came the cabinets. She scrubbed everything she could reach and made Ennis do what she couldn't get to. Then came the dishes, pots and pans.
"Daddy, have you ever washed any of these dishes since you moved in here? She asked.
"I run them under the water every now and then." he assured her.
Jack watched the frenzy of cleaning and Daddy/daughter chatter with great amusement and pride. Ennis del Mar had brought him here to his home and was chattering up a storm with his daughter. His daughter was here and seemed to pay no mind to him being here in her daddy's
home. Some times miracles do happen!
He was beginning to hurt pretty good now and wanted to ask for some more Tylenol but didn't want to interrupt. Ennis was enjoying himself and it pleased him just to see it.
"Jack, you're gonna have to keep after him every minute or he'll let this place become a pig-sty again" she was teasing. "Oh my goodness, Jack, you're hurting!" She wiped her hands on a
towel and came over to him.
"Why'nt you say something, Jack. It's way past time for you to take these." Ennis shook two Tylenol 3 out of the bottle and handed them to him. Junior brought him some water to wash them down.
"Daddy, you're gonna have to watch him. He won't tell you he's hurting but you can see it in his eyes. Just look!"
"I'm alright really." he insisted but greedily gulped the pills down.
And so went the first day home in Riverton. It amazed Jack how easily he felt that this was his home. He never felt that way in Childress. Never once in that mansion and he had to admit, it was a mansion; did he feel really at home there. It was always Lureen's house. He was just staying there. This tiny little 40 foot trailer; this was home. This was where Ennis was.
Next morning Ennis called the foreman and informed him that he was not coming back and that he'd send his daughter in to pick up his final check. Foreman didn't ask too many questions. He was used to ranch hands being the flighty sort.
It was difficult and painful for Jack coming from a pristine hospital bed and trying to sleep on a lumpy old mattress that smelled like a dog had died on it or something!
"What IS that smell?" he asked that first night.
"Oh that. Not really sure. I did puke on it once or twice. And the owner before me had cats and dogs both. They might'a added a little to it. I think I pissed on it one night too. Not to mention other bodily fluids might'a got on it from time to time."
It didn't seem to bother Ennis that much. He raised up on his elbows and asked, "Ya sure you don't want to stay in town until I can get out and get a new mattress?"
"I ain't getting up out of this bed Cowboy and neither are you." Jack snuggled as best he could against him and they drifted off to sleep.
Saturday had rolled around again and Junior had talked them into going looking for some furniture at the Methodist church's rummage sale. Both were reluctant to leave their safe cocoon of their little trailer but agreed they did need some furniture.
It was a bright sunny day; the first week of May. Everyone in Riverton had done their spring cleaning and the Methodist church's parking lot was full of furniture, people, balloons and kids and the good smells of bar-b-cue and corn dogs and pizza.
Junior, true to her word, found a couch and nice recliner right off the bat. After that, a few end
tables, a small square kitchen table with four matching chairs, not in too bad a shape. Then leaning against the side walls of the church stood several mattresses. They picked the cleanest one they could find; sniffed it good and added that to their list of purchases. About that time, Kurt showed up offering to help load.
They left the loading to Kurt and the salesmen and went on inside for whatever goodies they could find loaded on row after row of tables filling the room. One table had linens and Junior picked out two sets of sheets, pillow cases and a couple of blankets. Another table and they were hauling off a set of dishes, some glasses and coffee mugs. A coffee pot, toaster, small radio and some towels rounded out their purchases. By the end of their shopping spree they were all of good mood, laughing and talking.
Now they were really set. Had everything they needed for a while. It was a good thing too as the sky decided to open up and gave them a good four day long rain. They didn't go outside one time. They didn't need to. Every day Jack got stronger and was now off the Tylenol 3. He was getting better and better; the body healing itself as is nature's way. In a way, they were closer than they had ever been, though not in a physical way. Jack had offered that first
night to "take care of" Ennis but he'd refused saying "No". He'd been down that road alone too many times and he had waited this long, he would prefer to just wait until Jack was well enough to join in. It wasn't open for discussion. That was his mind on the matter and was no more to be said on it.
First of June rolled around and he went off to Alma's to make the next-to-the last child support payment; the last being July as that was when Jenny turned 18. He was full of dread as he pulled up in front of the house. Jack waited out in the truck for him. He knocked on the door three times before he realized she was out. What luck! He slid the envelope containing the cash into the mailbox and hurried back to the truck; spraying dust and dirt as he sped away as fast as he could.
He was still smiling later that morning when Junior pulled up outside; came to the door straight-faced. Ennis welcomed her with a fond embrace as usual. She came inside with him; shaking a little; clearly bewildered.
Jack sat on the couch drinking coffee and after seeing the look on her face offered to go back in the bedroom and "find something to do" to give them some space. They both gave a resounding "No!" and he remained where he was.
She sat in the recliner and Ennis on the couch beside Jack. "Whatever it is just spit it out honey. There ain't no use hangin on to it." Ennis prompted her.
"Oh Daddy. I'm so happy and I'm so miserable." she put her face in her hands and began to cry.
Jack and Ennis exchanged perplexed looks. "Women!" they both thought.
"You wanna run that past me agin baby girl? I'm not sure I caught it right."
"You know how they joke about 'you wanna hear the good news first or the bad news?' Well that's just what I got Daddy. I got the most wonderful news; and the worst ever. I don't know where to begin." She fell to sobbing once again.
"Honey you gotta help me out a little here. I can't help you if I don't know what you're talking about."
"It's Kurt! And it's Jenny!" she wailed.
"Kurt and Jenny? KURT AND JENNY?" he roared, jumping to his feet and turning over the coffee table.
"Easy there Cowboy," Jack said up-righting the table. "Let's hear what she's saying 'fore we
go off."
"I'll break every bone in his body! I'll put him in the ground sure as hell. Where's my gun?" Ennis roared off into the bedroom pawing through cabinets.
"No, Daddy. No! It's not like that! Not like that at all," She wailed.
"Well for Christ's sakes, Junior. Maybe you'd better spit it out then for I go off and shoot someone don't deserve it"
"Daddy, Kurt asked me to marry him!"
"And is this the good news or the bad news?"
"Daaaaddy! You know how I feel about Kurt. That's the good part! Isn't it just the most wonderful news you ever did hear?' She smiled through her tears.
"I rekon. Now what's the bad part and what's Jenny got to do with it?" He relaxed somewhat and steeled himself for whatever was coming next. It better not be that Alma's causing trouble with it cause that Kurt, he's a fine boy!
Junior gulped big-time and sat back down.
"You better sit down for this too Daddy."
He didn't like the sound of that but did as she asked.
"You know Jenny is graduating 6th of June?"
"Yeah, I know that. We'll be there."
"That's just it, Daddy. She and I had a long talk last night." She sniffled into her tissue. "She wants you to come but..." her eyes wandered over to Jack. He got the meaning right off and looked down at the floor. Ennis was slower to catch on.
"but what Baby?...I told you we're planning on coming. We been planning on it for weeks. Is that what she's worried about; that we'll forget and not come?" He was truly at a loss when it came to understanding the mind of a woman!
"Daddy she wants you to come...alone...and sit with Momma."
Ennis couldn't have been more surprised if someone had just hit him in the back of the head with a shovel.
"Now that ain't happening!" He stood and went to the cabinet over to the refrigerator and got down a bottle of whiskey. Poured himself a drink, downed it in one gulp.
"Neither of those things is gonna happen. I ain't gonna come alone and I ain't gonna sit with your momma!" He slammed the empty glass down on the cupboard. "She knows better'n to ask me something like that!"
"I know Daddy, I know. I told her you'd never do it. Never go without Jack and never sit with momma. Not in a million years."
Jack stood up and offered his opinion. "Ennis, it's just one night. You could go without me. I'll stay right here. I won't go anywhere and there won't be any trouble."
"That ain't happening, Jack. It just ain't the way it's gonna be." None of his usual mumbling here, every word was loud and clear.
There was silence for a time then Ennis spoke of happier things. "So when's the wedding?"
"Oh, the wedding." she dabbed her eyes, grateful to be talking on a sweeter subject.
"Well not until we finish school. We both have two more years before we get out degrees but there is one thing more. Don't know if you'll like or not."
He sat back down, waiting for this particular nightmare to end.
"Go on."
"Kurt has been accepted at the University of Cheyenne. He'll be starting there in September." Half the story was out. Now for the rest, "He wants me to go with him."
"To Cheyenne?" Ennis asked trying to remember how far that was from Riverton.
"Yes Daddy. I've finished my first two years here and made my decision. I'm going to apply to a nursing school. There's a real fine one right there in Cheyenne and they got this program where I
can live on campus and work off my fees after class. It's what I want Daddy." Her eyes glued to him; praying for approval.
"And Kurt. Where would he be living?"
"On campus, same as me, only in different dormitories of course; they don't allow any cohabitating, if you get my meaning."
"This what you want or you doing it just for him?"
"Both, Daddy. It's exactly what I want. I could find a nursing school closer to home but I'd never get to see Kurt at all. This way if we're going to the same school; we'd at least get to spend some
time together."
"You're 20 now Baby girl. You don't need my permission."
"I know that. I'm not asking for your permission. I just want your
approval."
"Well you got it, sweet thing. You got it." He hugged her close.
"Now about this other thing. You can tell your sister that I WILL be there at her graduation; I WILL be with Jack, and I WON'T be sitting with her momma. That's it. There'll be no more discussing of it. That's my last word on the matter!"
June fourth came and along with it brought the two sisters side by side knocking on the trailer door. Jack answered and led them into the small living room. He offered them coffee or juice; they declined. One sweet-faced and polite the other stony silent
Ennis finally emerged from the bathroom with the newspaper. "Hey
Bud, what's a six letter word for..." his voice trailed off noticing his unexpected visitors.
"Hello, girls. This is a nice surprise." he hugged them both getting a warm hug back from Junior and only really half a hug from Jenny.
"Daddy, Jenny wants to talk to you." Junior said sitting back down on the couch beside her sister who barely rose from her seat to give her daddy a half-hug over the coffee table.
"This needs to be a private conversation Daddy" Jenny said her eyes cutting to Jack and back again.
"Daughter, you're in my and Jack's home now. I say who stays and who goes. And Jack stays."
"It's OK, Ennis. Why don't I go in the back room and finish up that cross word puzzle you were working on."
Ennis shot him a steely glare. "You're staying!" He pointed to the recliner and Jack sat obediently. Ennis drug out a kitchen chair and sat on it backwards. "Now say what you come to say and let's get this over with."
"Daddy, I never asked you for anything, ever. I knew you didn't have much to give and that was OK. I understood that. Now I'm asking for just this one little thing. Everyone else is gonna have their parents there watching them get their diplomas. I need you to be there too, along side Momma, watching me." Her voice trembled as she made her plea.
"It ain't gonna happen that a way. I'm gonna be there for you, Darlin. I promise you that. But I ain't sitting with your Momma and I ain't coming alone. That's the way it's gonna be and there's no use talking about it any more." The decision was final, she could see that now, but still couldn't accept it.
"Well then you might just as well stay home cause I don't want your there; sitting with your...boyfriend...embarrassing me in front of all my friends. Just don't come at all" she barged past him and fled out the door.
"Daddy, I'm so sorry." Junior tried to sooth the hurt she saw in his face. "I tried to make her understand but she just doesn't get it."
She kissed his cheek and followed her sister out to the car nodding at Jack with a weak smile she hoped he would accept as an apology; she was just too hurt and depressed for any more words right now.
Jack pulled him to his feet and held him close massaging the back of his neck. "Ennis, I can just stay home and there won't be a problem."
"No! It ain't gonna be that way. We're going. Both of us and that's final. Don't make me say it again!" The fight drained out of him and he slumped against Jack's chest. "You know...she always was kinda cold and standoffish with me. I knew she held it against me that I left her Momma but I never thought she'd grow to hate me." The pain creased his forehead and squinched his eyes almost shut.
"She's still a child Ennis. She's not 18 yet. She knows nothing of the ways of the world. She'll come to know you one day; as Junior has. She's still got a lot of growing to do; life's lessons to
learn. To her you're still the person who left her and made her Momma cry. That's all she knows of you. She doesn't know you as a person; someone with a right to live and be happy. That will happen one day, I promise you."
June fifth brought a phone call. "You answer it." Ennis said. "You're closer." and continued reading his paper.
"It ain't for me." Jack said, pouring another coffee. "You want the rest of this? There's 'bout enough for one more cup." He swirled the remaining coffee around in the pot.
"Well somebody better get the phone!" He wasn't really agitated. Just didn't like the jangling of that old black phone butting in on their quiet time together.
"Here!" Jack said setting the phone down on the coffee table in front of Ennis. "You know it's for you. I dont' know nobody 'round here."
Ennis gave him one of those sideways glares; but picked up the receiver. "Hello," more of a growl really.
Silence
"So talk."
Silence
"I ain't coming over to your house Alma. You got something to say, just spit it out!"
Silence
"I ain't meeting you nowhere. You wanna talk; you know where I live." He banged the receiver down. "Bitch" he said to the silent phone. His eyes cut up to Jack's. "She's gonna make trouble." he shook his head.
Jack sighed in sympathy. "No kidding, Cowboy. I mean it. I can just sit this one out."
"No! I made up my mind and their foolishness ain't gonna change it."
"Suit yourself. Only one more day to go and this bullshit will be done and finished with." he came to sit beside him then; caressing the back of Ennis's neck and resting his head on his shoulder.
They sat quietly for a time, just resting and enjoying being together. The mood was shattered all too soon by sounds of a car careening up out front, spewing dust and stones everywhere. A car
door slammed.
Ennis closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. Jack slapped him on the shoulder "Round 2 Cowboy. Get it done."
Ennis heaved a great sigh and went to answer the banging on the door.
"Morning, Alma" he said, opening the door wide for her to come in.
She stepped one foot inside and looked around. Spotted Jack on the couch and said "This is a PRIVATE conversation Ennis."
The thought occurred to Jack that this was starting off really well; he gave a silent shudder as he compared Alma to Lureen.
"I ain't got no secrets from Jack, Alma. Just say what you come here to say and be done with it."
She huffed and puffed a few minutes then drew herself up tight "Ennis del Mar, I always knew you didn't care nothing about me but at least I thought you cared for the girls. Now Jenny tells me you're dead set on humiliating her in front of her friends at Graduation. She, nor I, never asked for nothing you couldn't give and it's just wrong and mean you can't do this one little thing for her!" She spat it out all in one breath.
"It ain't gonna happen, Alma. Why'd you want me sitting with you anyways when you got your husband there?" He tried to calm the rage that was threatening to boil over inside him.
"Monroe'll be out of town. He's getting an award at some big company dinner tomorrow night. He's top manager in this whole area!" she finished, chin up and a cock to the side of her head bragging on her husband.
"Now that's real nice for him, ain't it. I'm sure you're proud for him. Let's just get through this graduation thing and everything will calm down." He tried to soothe things over. He didn't hate
Alma. He just wanted her to go away and let him live his life.
She tugged her sweater down in front and clutched her purse close. "You just don't get it, do you?" She took a step closer to him. "If you want to live here with your...boyfriend...and do
whatever nasty things it is that you do, then do it for all I care but you can't be serious about prancing him in front of all our friends and neighbors and causing your daughter such shame and
embarrassment that she'll never live it down in this town!"
Jack stood up from the couch and walked to them; afraid, just a little bit, in his heart that Ennis might strike her. He needn't have worried. Ennis caught the look in his eye and every mean
thing that he wanted to say to her just evaporated. He opened the door and said "This conversation is now over, Alma."
She steamed as angry tears rolled down her cheeks. "You can't do this Ennis. You can't hurt her like this!" she insisted.
"Be on your way now, Alma. I'll see you on July 1st with the last check." He surprised himself with how civil he sounded, much more than he felt.
"You're a mean man, Ennis Del Mar. A dirty mean old man and I hate you!"
One last whimper and she was out the door and swirling down the road in a cloud of dust.
Graduation night went off well despite all the drama beforehand. Ennis and Jack had slipped in five minutes after the ceremony had started, right in the middle of somebody's speech. They took seats in the back row and watched the proceedings unfold. Neither had been to a graduation before and they understood little about the titles some of the speakers had. "Valedictorian? Salutatorian?" They had no idea what these meant; neither did most of the audience they
suspected.
Finally the time arrived when they started calling names and the graduates would come forward to claim their diplomas. A slight stir beside them brought a breathless Junior to their side. "Hi Daddy, Jack, isn't it exciting?" Ennis put his arm around her and Jack gave her out-stretched hand a quick squeeze. Someone in front of them gave a "ssshhhhhhhh!" and all was quiet
until the name called out "Jennifer LuAnne Del Mar" Polite applause sounded round the auditorium as was heard for every name. Soon the high school band was playing again and they stood to leave as many other parents did.
"Here Junior. I need you to give this to Jenny for me. She's not really wanting to talk to me right now." He handed her an envelope with the Graduation card that he and Jack had spent some time picking out. It had $500 cash just like he'd given to Junior two years before.
"She doesn't deserve this." Junior said sadly. "She treated you and Jack so badly."
"It's over now, Baby girl. You best be getting back to your Momma."
He couldn't help but be relieved. Graduation was over now and it went smooth as silk. Not a ruffle in the crowd, a sneer, a dirty look; nothing.
Ennis was exhausted and slumped on the couch after removing his coat and tie. He toed his boots off and put his stocking feet on the coffee table. .Jack smiled that sideways smile of his and joined him.
"That wasn't so bad." He settled on the couch in a likewise position.
"How long you think she'll hate me?"
"She don't hate you. She just wanted what she wanted. She'll get over it. Some good-looking young buck'll come by and smile at her and she'll forget all about it." He nuzzled Ennis's ear.
"I'm just glad it's over with. This prancing takes a lot out of a fella." Soft gentle laughs between
them. Nobody had been anything but kind and friendly to them the entire evening. No finger
pointing, no nasty sneers. Ennis wondered if any of them knew. He didn't care whether they did or not. Jack was beside him now and that was all that mattered.
THE END